the tortoise & the hare

Latest Episodes:

Slow (New) Friendships - A Deep Dive in to Slow Relationships Jul 25, 2018

Show notes

We’re onto the last of our slow relationships episodes, and this week is all about new friends: where to find them and how to get from barely know each other to BFF, slowly. It’s all about taking the time, being intentional and paying attention, as well as discovering the joy of spending time with people based on what’s important to you rather than the situation you find yourself in (bye awkward office/school drop off chats, hi fellow slow living friends).

First up, Ben asks Brooke if, given last week’s episode all about maintaining existing friendships and the time it takes, as well as the effort involved in meeting new people, do we even need any more friends? Brooke says yes, and shares some of her own story and the challenges she has faced around friendships. In case you need convincing, she also highlights some of the benefits of friendships according to science. Including everything from improved self-esteem to reduction in stress and depression, it seems that finding like minded folk to while our days away with is worth the effort.

So how do we find these new friends? Brooke considers a few steps, and talks about the importance in shifting your attitude and being open in social situations. Think about the values you’re looking for in a new pal, and find ways to put yourself into a relevant community, whether IRL or online. The guys talk about a few ways to do this, as well as reminding us that not all friendships work out, and that’s OK. Brooke also shares some helpful strategies for introverts when meeting new people. In a beautiful full circle moment, it all comes back to active listening. Which brings us to the end!

We’ve loved hearing your thoughts and feedback on Instagram and Facebook about slow and relationships, so keep on sharing. Ben would also love your food recommendations for Dallas and Austin, so feel free to hit us up with those also.

To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/248/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

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If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially.

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

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Slow Friendship - A Deep Dive in to Slow Relationships Jul 18, 2018

Show notes

This week we’re continuing the relationships theme, looking at existing friendships: not only how to maintain them, but how to deepen them. There’s no question that as time goes on and big life milestones pass, friendships change and some fade. But one of the biggest things we stand to lose by living a busy, un-intentional life is the relationships that have the potential to be deep and life-long. How do we make sure we give these friendships our time and attention? And how do we talk about slow living with our pals? Let’s dive in.

Brooke and Ben kick off by sharing that, like any relationship, friendships are built on trust and time. So how can we ensure we commit to our people, even if we’re operating in different spheres, or don’t necessarily share the same values? They talk about some different ways you can talk to friends about slow living, including how to explain any impacts that the changes you’re making might have on them, and the importance of showing that you’re still there for them. If you value someone, bring them into what you’re doing without being forceful – invite them to where you are, and reciprocate the love and acceptance.

When it comes to those deep, true friendships, so many of us ask ourselves how we can take them to the next level, and have the deeper conversations beyond the everyday and superficial. Brooke shares some practical tips, and Ben shares his experience with this as a male. They finish by sharing some different ways you can spend time and build bonds with your buds, highlighting that it doesn’t have to be all deep & meaningful, teary conversations. Joy, creativity, play and shared projects all play a role in strengthening friendships.

As does telling your friends that you love them, and that you’re thinking of them. Which is this week’s action – reach out to a friend and tell them you appreciate them, and that they sprung to mind after listening to this episode. Then reach out to us: we’d love to hear your thoughts about this episode. How are you trying to bring more slow, depth and intention to your friendships? Comment on Facebook or Instagram and share the love.

To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/247/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post. And stay tuned for next week, when we’ll talk about making new friends!

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If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially.

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Slow Families - A Deep Dive in to Slow Relationships Jul 11, 2018

Show notes

It’s week two of our month of slow and relationships, and this episode we’re looking at family: kids, parents, siblings, and all those broader relationships (including those friends that feel more like favourite cousins) that make up the family tree. They’re not always neat and tidy, but hopefully there will be something in this episode that resonates with you, whatever your family situation.

Brooke and Ben begin by talking kids. We’ve covered slow parenting in many an episode before (links in the show notes), but they share a few important reminders and tools here as well. Kids are not slow, and so living slowly with kids can be difficult to near-impossible. There are tools you can use and boundaries you can set in place (especially around time, technology and presence) to establish some great foundations, but the best advice is to drop the expectations, don’t be afraid to say no and let boredom happen.

When it comes to parents and siblings, Brooke highlights that we all crave connection but are often scared of being vulnerable in conversation. She recommends some ways to start those difficult chats, and highlights that time is the real key here. Making and allowing time and creating a safe space for deeper conversations and connections helps to create stronger bonds. They then address what to do when there maybe isn’t as much connection within a family, and Ben comes back to this idea of resilience: being tolerant, open and then resilient enough to always try to end interactions on a positive note. Putting love above differences in opinion isn’t always easy, but it’s a choice we can make.

They finish the episode by talking about ways to maintain connection when there’s a great physical distance between family, and then sharing the value of affection within all familial relationships (hugs are always on the cards).

This week’s action? Tell someone you love them, every day. And let us know how that feels - get in touch on Facebook or Instagram and share the love. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/246/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

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If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially.

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Slow Romance - A Deep Dive in to Slow Relationships Jul 04, 2018

Show notes

Annnnd we’re back. It’s the first week of July, and while we’re due for a Slow Experiment, thanks to book tour commitments and a tight travel schedule, Brooke and Ben are taking the pressure off. Instead, July will be a deep dive into bringing slow to relationships. Romantic, family and friendships old and new, each week the guys will be exploring ways you can create deeper connections with the people around you. We received so much feedback after Ben shared his story in episode 242, as well as a bunch of questions, emails and feedback on the topic, so let’s get to it!

This week kicks off looking at bringing more slow to romantic relationships. Brooke and Ben look at their own relationship, and acknowledge up front that their experience of the dating scene goes back a while now (Brooke has never swiped right). However, they talk about the fact that a lot of the technology around dating these days doesn’t necessarily support people looking for a deeper, more meaningful connection. Side note: Brooke did discover a slow dating app, but did not give it a test run (which Ben was grateful for).

They talk about the importance of entering into relationships and getting to know people with a focus on intention over the endgame, and how presence and time helps to cement trust. The same principles apply to people already in a long-term relationships. Intention, turning up and building trust are where it’s at. Dropping the distractions and being present with your s/o is so important in building that solid, steady foundation.

They bring up some of the challenges they’ve faced in their own relationship, invite us to reframe the way we view relationship milestones (as new understandings rather than specific events) and remind us that romance is constantly evolving. Which is comforting. To finish off, they invite you to be aware this week of your expectations in your relationships, and to explore finding joy and depth in the ordinary, everyday moments. If you have anything to add or that you’d like to share, especially if you have any apps or resources that have helped you slow down the dating scene, feel free to get in touch! Comment on Facebook or Instagram and share the love. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/245/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

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If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially.

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The stress-free guide to zero-waste living with Anita Vandyke Jun 20, 2018

Show notes

Our guest on the podcast this week is Anita Van Dyke: zero waste activist, literal rocket scientist, medical student, author and all-round breath of fresh air. Anita brings a new, more practical perspective to the zero waste lifestyle, and in this episode she and Brooke talk about her journey to living a zero waste life, the impact of her cultural and familial upbringing, tips for helping people get started and so much more.

Anita talks about her life a few years ago, as a self-described ‘maximalist’, and how she went from working in corporate engineering at the height of her career to being burnt out, and having to quit her job and step back for six months to think about what she wanted in life. She talks about her cultural background, as her parents immigrated to Australia from China during the communist regime, and how this informed both her value of money, power and status in her early 20s and her work ethic, but also how her upbringing cemented her understanding of living minimally. She talks about her discovery of this very podcast during that six month break, and how this, combined with other resources, volunteering, meditating and economic necessity started her on the journey of simplifying her life and decreasing her waste.

Now Anita is studying medicine and has just written a book, called ‘A Zero Waste Life: In 30 Days’. Her scientific background means her approach to zero waste living is incredibly practical, with a creative, problem-solving bent to help you make small changes in your everyday life. Her focus is accessibility, and Brooke loved her three-tiered approach to any issue: dipping your toe in, living low waste and living zero waste.

This podcast is full of so many nuggets of wisdom and great ideas for approaching a slower, more simple life. Start where you are, take stock, ask for help and stick to the 80/20 rule are just some of our main takeaways. What about you? Be sure to share your favourite bits with us on Instagram and Facebook. To read more about the episode and Anita, as well as to heck out her book, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/244for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

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If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially and join in on our live monthly video calls.

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

An interview with Ben Jun 13, 2018

Show notes

The spotlight is on Ben in today’s episode, as Brooke interviews him all about his journey from working a stressful, corporate job to being self-employed, and how he continues to make choices to live a slower life. We’ve had a few listeners ask to hear more about Ben’s story, and we’re sure it will feel relevant to a lot of people.

Ben describes himself as a couple of years behind Brooke in his slow living process, and reflects back on what life was like for him eight years ago, when Brooke was diagnosed with postnatal depression and first introduced to the idea of simplifying and slowing down. Ben was on a career trajectory that he valued, and it consumed almost all of him - time, energy and identity. Although he was happy for Brooke as she started to declutter and slow down (despite thinking she had joined some kind of cult), it wasn’t until he suffered from a panic attack on his morning commute that he realised this was what he needed too (the words of his GP telling him the same thing also carried a lot of weight).

From there it was a series of deeper conversations that took place over months and years about what they both wanted life to look like, and how they could get there. Ben found himself really questioning his identity, as so much of him was tied up in his job. He talks about the some of the ways he started to slow down even when he was still working in corporate and commuting, which are a great place to start if that’s where you’re at.

The process of getting from then to now has been messy and full of learning, stress and joy all rolled into one, and they’re both grateful to have shared it with each other. And it only continues, as Ben shares how he’s finding the year abroad with his work and clients being on a different continent. For him it’s all about presence and flexibility. Thank you for listening to this one - as Brooke and Ben say, it’s a little heavier and raw than the usual, but also really important to share the reality behind the changes they’ve made, their experiences as a couple and the time it has taken for them to get to where they now.

To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/242/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

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If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially.

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rob Greenfield on the enormous power of small changes Jun 06, 2018

Show notes

In today’s episode, Brooke sits down for a chat with Rob Greenfield, a self-described ‘dude making a difference’. He’s an activist, environmentalist and legend - a guy who is very good at raising people’s awareness of an issue by doing big, bold things to grab your attention, like collecting the amount of rubbish the average American creates in a month, and strapping it to his body and wearing it like a trash suit. Talk about making a statement! Brooke and Rob talk about how he came to be where he is today, where he started and what’s next on his horizon.

10 years ago Rob was living what he calls a typical American life. He was driven by money and ideas of success, obsessed with his car and didn’t consider the impact of his choices on the planet or the people around him. Things started to shift as he began reading books and watching documentaries about the state of the world, and the more he learned, the more he realised he had to change his life.

So he did. Slowly, one step at a time, he made changes. Rob talks about the fact that making positive changes in your life is a has a snowball effect, and he and Brooke agree that this slow steady approach might seem frustrating or overwhelming at first, but it really is the only way to go. He breaks down the changes he made, and how these fed into his big, bold experiments and projects that he’s become known for. He talks about how he communicates these changes to the people around him, the idea of comfort zones and change and societal norms, as well as the need to practice compassion and get good it at, just like building any other muscle or skill.

It’s incredibly inspiring to hear Rob share so honestly about his life, and is a much-needed reminder that we can all make choices in our daily lives to have a more positive impact on the world. We can’t wait to see how Rob goes with his next project - growing or foraging 100% of his food for a whole year. To read more about the episode and Rob, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/241/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

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And thanks so much for listening!

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Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daily Creativity: Part 5 - A Slow Experiment May 30, 2018

Show notes

In today’s episode, Brooke and Ben sit down to wrap up the May creativity Slow Experiment, sharing what they’ve learned, how they’ve felt, changes they’ve noticed and some eye-opening research they’ve discovered about the benefits of creativity. They go deep and ask the tough questions, and encourage you to do the same if you’re reflecting on your month of creative living.

First up they reflect on the week that’s been, with Brooke continuing to lean into playfulness (and challenge) and Ben enjoying shooting and editing and feeling a bit of fear around sharing his work. They talk about something wonderful they’ve noticed in the #slowexperiment posts being shared on Instagram - the idea of creativity as a gift, with so many people getting creative in order to share the outcome with their loved ones, a purpose the guys hadn’t given much consideration before now.

They then go on to reflect on the benefits they’ve felt after being creative every day this month. Ben feels like it’s too soon for him to say, but Brooke can already feel a change in her parenting, including increased empathy, more self-awareness, playfulness and spontaneity. For her it’s also tied in closely to courage, and she talks about the prep work she’s been doing in this area in the lead up to the book tour.

To wrap up, they touch on some of the research that’s been done around the benefits and impacts of a being creative on physical, emotional and mental well-being, and get excited about continuing to learn more about this life-changing practice. We hope you’ve enjoyed playing along, and don’t forget to keep sharing your creative fun over on Instagram using the hashtag #slowexperiment. We’ll be back next week with a cracking interview with a super inspiring guest, so see you in your ears then. To read more about the episode and the May experiment, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/240/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

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And thanks so much for listening!

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Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daily Creativity: Part 4 - A Slow Experiment May 23, 2018

Show notes

It’s the fourth week of the creativity Slow Experiment, and Brooke and Ben are feeling good. Today’s episode is all about play and creativity - forgetting about output and audience, and doing something just for the joy of it. It’s something that Brooke finds particularly challenging, and she and Ben explore why that is, before diving into perfectionism, ideas of worth, courage and more. They also spend some time answering a listener question around kids and creativity. Stick around to the end to hear an update on the North American book release and tour (with a full update coming soon!

First up the guys reflect on the week that’s been, before launching into a discussion about the childlike joy of creating playfully. Brooke talks about the idea of rules in creativity - something as simple as lines on a page can hinder her from letting go and creating. She then shares the project she’s been working on, and how she’s brought an element of spontaneity and play into her process this week.

Ben shares a question asked by a listener, who was wondering if their kids had been involved in the experiment so far. He and Brooke talk about this, and also bounce around some ideas about how they can be more creative together down the track (especially when they’re on the road for the book tour!)

They finish up with a little challenge for the week - if you struggle with playfulness, try setting an alarm and spending 10 minutes doing something fun and playful. Let go of judgment and try to find the joy in the challenge.

If you’re playing along at home, don’t forget to use the hashtag #slowexperiment on Instagram if you’d like to share, and stay tuned for next week’s episode wrapping up the experiment. To read more about the episode and the May experiment, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/239/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

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And thanks so much for listening!

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Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daily Creativity: Part 3 - A Slow Experiment May 16, 2018

Show notes

Brooke and Ben are knee-deep in the May Slow Experiment, and in this episode they explore what daily creativity has looked like for them so far, ideas around challenge and play, as well as looking more closely at analog and digital when it comes to the creative process.

Brooke shares the unexpected impact of the experiment so far - the shift in headspace she’s experienced, which sees her coming at things from a creative problem-solving angle, focusing on the process rather than the output. Questions she’s been pondering for months suddenly have clear solutions, and she’s also found herself being more empathetic in her parenting as her brain “opens up”. Ben’s challenge this week was to do something creative for himself, without an audience, and so he shares how he’s played with skiing switch, and reflects on the joy of truly sucking at something.

Ben also identifies some different ways you can categorise creativity: cognitive v emotional, and deliberate v spontaneous. The guys share their experiences of these so far, before diving into the issue of analog v digital. While Brooke was hoping for a unanimous “analog rules” verdict in her research, what she found instead was that there is no right or wrong, that it’s closely tied to how we learn, and that everyone could benefit from dabbling in both means of creative expression.

So if you’re getting creative with us this week, why not try mixing it up again? If you’re always in analog-land, why not try creating using digital this week. And vice versa - if you’re a tech-head, why not try something a little more tactile?

Don’t forget to use the hashtag #slowexperiment on Instagram if you’d like to share, and stay tuned for next week’s episode all about letting go of ideas of “good” and “perfect” and getting back to creating, just for the sake of creating. To read more about the episode and the May experiment, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/238/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.

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And thanks so much for listening!

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Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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