The Story Must Be Told

Latest Episodes:

98. The Wandering Narrator Mar 10, 2020

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We’re boned, congregants! Yeah, we screwed the pooch bad, chomped a big fat one, sat on a REAL stinker. Even the Story knows turmoil, Narrator and Listener alike. Dang! Invocation Petitions on Behalf of Solemn Congregants Liturgical Reading: “The Wandering Narrator” The Return Slop like a pig in the pen of our spiiiicy Patreon: patreon.com/tsmbt

97. The Replacement Feb 25, 2020

Show notes

Greeting cards bring joy and consolation to the grieving and joyous. Imagine a card that brings ruin. What would the card say? Do you believe the card, or deny the truth it has brought you? What will you do when you are replaced? The CORY Imploring of Recipes Liturgical Reading: “The Replacement” Concluding Prayer We got hot merch, yeah you know about it: www.topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt

96. Their Unholy Spirit Feb 11, 2020

Show notes

You know that feeling when you hug your aunt and she whispers in your ear, “I’m proud of the way you cut hair, Eugene”? Well, this one is also about feelings! Feelings deep down! Feelings with feelings. Feelings ready to CONSUME. Ruff ruff, snort snort, congregants. Invocation Petitions on Behalf of Righteous Congregants MORE CORY Liturgical Reading: “Their Unholy Spirit” Concluding Prayer Patreon us true, and sup gentle on our extra splashes: patreon.com/tsmbt

95. Little Brother Jan 28, 2020

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Brothers come in all sizes! In the Story, the biggest brother shall be the littlest, and vice versa yeah you get it. If there’s one truth for you in today’s Story, it is this: some kids are real chunks-a shit. Invocation Petitions on Behalf of Humble Congregants CORY Liturgical Reading: “Little Brother” Concluding Prayer Did you know we have an exclusive Discord channel just for congregants? Gain access at patreon.com/tsmbt

94. Dick Dvorak Bowls a Perfect Game Jan 14, 2020

Show notes

Yeah drink a brew, pop a mozz’ stick, and bowl yourself a handsome strike, you goof! This Story is about bowling and probably NOTHING else. Nope! Stop askin questions! Oh also?? Uh, yeah: we’re RICH. Invocation Petitions on Behalf of Wealthy Congregants Liturgical Reading: “Dick Dvorak Bowls a Perfect Game” Concluding Prayer Join our wealthy, ohh just swimmin in smackers church at patreon.com/tsmbt

A False Year's Bonus Dec 31, 2019

Show notes

Congregants gather and spit runny in your palms, because we got something you'll wanna grease up and hog down on. YEAH: a BONUS episode. Contained in this thoughtful bonus: Spider Bite Shake My Hand An Important Story About Marriage Featuring the Boy Next Tuesday, for patrons we will have a 522 Club episode, and will return the following week with a brand new Story. PLUMP.

93. More More More Christmas Heresies Dec 23, 2019

Show notes

False holiday alarm! Ring ring ralse! If this bell’s a-ringin’ then a Story is false. On this day, we arrive early, for no reason, only to give you extra time upon which to stew on these heresies true. STEW! Invocation Uncle Story Liturgical Reading: “More More More Christmas Heresies” Concluding Prayer A patreon has come to you, healthy and honest! Join the 522 Club and hear a new “podcast” Patreon.com/tsmbt

92. Hot Pics Wedding Rings OK - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski Dec 10, 2019

Show notes

Ohh send me a sexy pic, sexfriend. Heh heh, oh I’m a person alright, wink wink hush, a sexperson ready to sex, sex, sex! All I need is a lil ol thing called, um, your social security number ;) Guest: Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski (Get tickets for the Page 7/Wizard and the Bruiser live shows at www.lastpodcastnetwork.com/p7live) Patreon announcement Invocation Grease Fire! Liturgical Reading: “Hot Pics Wedding Rings OK” Concluding Prayer Ooh gander upon the Story symbol pin! The Cro-Croa mug! They are now available at www.topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt

91. Maps Of The North Nov 26, 2019

Show notes

A stranger is coming! When they confront you, will you endure or crumple? Heh heh, oh, congregant, the question was rhetorical! We all crumple before the stranger—when the stranger is the STORY. Invocation Psalm: “Four Showers” Liturgical Reading: “Maps of the North” Concluding Prayer A Story symbol pin! A Cro-Croa mug! Coming oh so soon. Await it here: https://topatoco.com/collections/last-podcast

90. Family Union Nov 12, 2019

Show notes

Some families are small, some are swollen and grotesque. Some families have daddies, some have secrets. The Crispos invite you to learn about their aged clan—do you dare deny them? Invocation Testimonial: The Dream of Sister Callista Liturgical Reading: “Family Union” Concluding Prayer We have merch and more is on the way. Check it truly here: https://topatoco.com/collections/last-podcast

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