The Slumflower Hour

DICKMATIZED? Nov 15, 2024

Is the dick too bomb for you to use your sense? Have you found yourself roped into a 'situationship' from what was only meant to be a brief hookup? Are you hoping the sex will make him love you?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses why 'being dickmatized' is of the mind - and how we can all snap out of it before we become stuck!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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SPENDING HIS MONEY Nov 08, 2024

Are you dating to marry or dating for money? Do women deserve to be paid to be pregnant? Is it possible to fall in love without giving away your power to a man?

These are questions that need answers and in this episode, join Chidera as she covers them!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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STICKING TO YOUR GUNS Nov 01, 2024

Do you struggle with putting your foot down when handling a situation with a guy? Are you often 'too nice' when you should be a little more dubious of men? Have you fallen into the mentality of making men's negligence about you?

In this episode, enjoy a storytime and Chidera's real-time texting conversation with a man who is now blocked!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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SUBTLE SIGNS HE'S NOT THE ONE Oct 24, 2024

Do you feel like that man is romantically edging you? Is there a vibe that he 'kind of' likes you but is holding back? Are you at a crossroads of whether you should keep emotionally investing in him?

If any of the above questions resonate with you, this quick burst of an episode might give you the answers you need...while giving you a laugh!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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DO LOOKS MATTER? Oct 18, 2024

Do looks really matter? Should we 'dress for men'? Is it considered 'unfeminist' to use your beauty as leverage?

We cover all these questions in this episode, where The Slumflower dives into beauty as a tool - and whether feminism is helping or hindering our journeys towards the lifestyles we desire...

(Disclaimer: the use of weed as an example in this episode, is in no way a promotion of its use!)

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF ASKING MEN FOR STUFF Oct 11, 2024

Do you feel like you 'owe' men sex for a cocktail? Does the 'gold digger' label scare you away from being upfront about your needs? Are you playing to win or are you playing to be fair?

In this episode, join Chidera as she dilutes your fears of asking men for things, and chats through the ridiculousness of male entitlement!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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ARE YOU A STRICT BABE? Oct 04, 2024

Are you trying to find the firmness in your voice? Or are you worried you might be a bit too blunt?

In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through the ways we can all be a little stricter without flying off the rails - and why there's nothing scarier to a man, than a woman who is pissed off and relaxed about it...

NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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HOW TO EXPLOIT MEN Sep 27, 2024

Do you feel bad about dating selfishly? Does the idea of 'using' a man make you feel guilty? Is it exploitative to date men with your best interest at the forefront?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses her favourite ways to exploit men in a world where they systemically and interpersonally exploit women every single day...

NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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IS HE A BOYFRIEND OR IS HE A TRAUMA BOND? Sep 19, 2024

Have you convinced yourself you're stuck with that man? Is he really the best you can do? Why do you even keep giving him chances?

In this brief and funny episode, join The Slumflower as she talks through the lies we tell ourselves to cling onto these men who have passed their expiry date in our lives...

NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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HAVING HIS BABIES? Sep 13, 2024

Is the pressure on to start a family? Feeling broody? Or maybe even experiencing that FOMO feeling as everyone around you is starting to have babies? You are not alone!

In this episode, join Chidera as she talks about why you don't need to have kids just because you want to...and the ways we can all show up in a maternal role without having to commit to parenthood *cough cough* shout out to the aunties!

NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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DATING AS A FIRST BORN DAUGHTER Sep 06, 2024

Are you a first born daughter who has been plagued by the perpetual sense of responsibility...even over the men you date?

Has your first born daughter status evolved into a saviour complex?

Do you feel like you need to be useful in order to be loved?

Dear first born daughters, this one is for us! In this episode, join Chidera as she muses and reflects on her life and upbringing as a first born daughter - and how this has actually empowered her to be stern, bold and fearless in her self-advocacy when dating men.

NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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HOW TO DATE NIGERIAN MEN Aug 30, 2024

Have you been victimised by a Nigerian man?

Are you too nice to the Nigerian men you date? (YES)

Is there a lack of cultural awareness that impinges upon your ability to understand Nigerian men?

However you resonate (or don't) with these questions, you'll enjoy this episode full of insight, banter and cultural context from a Nigerian woman, herself!

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how best to date Nigerian men to enjoy the best of them and avoid the worst of them...

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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SO YOU'RE NOT LEARNING YOUR LESSON... Aug 23, 2024

Are you that friend who keeps calling your friend to complain about the same man you won't leave?

Are you the friend who wishes your homegirl would get a grip and get over that man, so you can have your friend back?

Or are you that woman who has exhausted all your friendships and has found herself isolated because you keep choosing men over self-respect?

If any of the above resonate, this episode is for you! In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the irritation of being that woman who simply won't learn her bloody lesson...

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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DATING WHILE NEURODIVERGENT Aug 16, 2024

Do you find your neurodivergence interfering with your dating life? Have you found your rejection sensitivity makes you more prone to rumination? Has your constant masking made you more used to tolerating discomfort around men?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how her neurodivergence influences the way she navigates men.

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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THE PARADOX OF THE PICK-ME Aug 09, 2024

Are pick-me women simply misunderstood? Are things 'easier' with men when you let patriarchy run its course? What can women do to avoid becoming desperate?

In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through all the reasons why picking men over yourself will always leave you short-changed and resentful - no matter how exceptional you think your situation is...

Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW at Leicester Square Theatre, London

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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WHEN THE LOVE BOMBING DOESN'T WORK... Aug 03, 2024

Did you notice yourself almost falling for the botched dream being sold to you? Was it all stating to feel a little too good to be true? Has he switched up on you because his little game didn't work?

Nothing hits better than that 'thank God I didn't fall for him' relief and in this episode, The Slumflower visits the various ways men become sassy and insufferable when their grandiosity backfires!

Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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FEARING MEN Jul 26, 2024

This episode was voted for by the patrons over at Patreon!

If we can all agree that men are scary, then we can al agree that dating men should be worth our time, right? Join Chidera, as she chats through safety, self esteem and making men EARN your trust!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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HOW TO MOVE ON Jul 19, 2024

Do you fantasise about him coming back? Do you tend to develop limerence for men who leave you? Do you allow yourself to feel your anger in full?

If any of these questions resonate with you, this episode might hit home. Join The Slumflower as she discusses why you should test men, why you need to stop 'healing' and why it's totally okay that you might not meet 'the one'.

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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BECOMING MORE ASSERTIVE Jul 12, 2024

Are you an 'understanding girlfriend' who can't quite seem to get the words out when you're annoyed at him?

Have you decided what your non-negotiables are in what you'll tolerate from a guy?

Are you a 'free spirit' or are you giving your power away to men?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she plots out smooth and non-aggressive ways to be more assertive in the presence of men, while maintaining your authentic personality - plus a very saucy South of France storytime...involving a yacht ;)

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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PROVIDER? Jul 06, 2024

So what's the fuss around dating providers? Why are women scared to date selfishly? Why do we slut-shame women who are upfront about their requirements of men who want to sleep with them, whilst we uphold and celebrate the women who settle 'in the name of love'?

In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the concept of men being providers - and why we shouldn't let 'feminism' stop us from having our own cake and eating it too...just like the men do!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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THE 'MALE LONELINESS EPIDEMIC' Jun 28, 2024

Do men deserve their loneliness? Do women make too many excuses for men? Can women develop the willpower to abstain from sexual and emotional reliance on men?

In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the 'male loneliness epidemic' - and why we should all let men deal with this matter by themselves...

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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THE EXIT PLAN Jun 20, 2024

If you finally feel ready to leave, this episode is for you.

In this episode, join The Slumflower as shares tools on how to leave FOR GOOD, and what you can do to fortify yourself mentally...for when the storm inevitably comes.

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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ALPHA MEN? Jun 14, 2024

Where is the line drawn between leadership and control?

Do 'alpha' men actually live up to their description?

Why do women seek such traits in men?

In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the myth of the alpha male - and why we should all interrogate our attraction to alpha men...

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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THE ICK Jun 07, 2024

Is a person redeemable once you develop the ick for them? What does it take for a man to give you the ick? How can you tell when a man has gotten the ick for YOU?

In this episode, join Chidera as we talk all things ick - including my biggest turn-offs that classify a man disqualified in her eyes!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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SO HE WANTS TO MARRY YOU... May 30, 2024

Is that man in a rush to marry you? Would he even make a good husband? Are you desperate to be wifed?

In this hilarious episode, join The Slumflower as she chats through why a marriage proposal isn't always flattering - and what you can do to remove the power and pressure you have placed on the idea of being someone's wife!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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DOING IT FOR THE PLOT May 24, 2024

Do you justify tormenting yourself for the sake of having a 'good story' to tell? Are you impulsive and adrenaline-driven in your dating decisions? Have you found yourself living in the architecture of your own demise?

Featuring TWO saucy stories, join Chidera in this episode as she talks through times when she's done it for the plot...and benefited from the wild spontaneity! ;)

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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DATING FOR LOOKS? May 16, 2024

Are you easily swayed by a man's appearance? Do you find yourself being easily governed by the coochie flutters when you come across a cute man? Are you unknowingly giving away your power by putting emphasis on how attractive that man is, instead of how well he treats you?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she takes good-looking men OFF the pedestal!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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DATING DEPRESSED MEN... May 10, 2024

Has that man become the sad cloud in your sky? Do you find yourself coasting along in this relationship out of guilt rather than choice? Do you feel responsible for this man's wellbeing?

Baby...it's time to lift that burden and address the baggage you've taken on as your own!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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WHEN HE FINALLY SWITCHES UP ON YOU... May 03, 2024

So the switch-up has finally happened...he's stopped texting you the way he used to; he's not really making plans to take you out anymore; you've had your first argument and he's surprisingly chilled and NONCHALANT?! *blocks your hand from hitting the panic button*

Time to stay calm and quietly examine everything you have tolerated so far!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MARRIED MEN... Apr 25, 2024

This episode was voted for by my patrons on Patreon!

After what started out as a simple evening of sharing some anonymous insight from sex workers about the hidden reality of married men, the conversation snowballed into an Instagram stories-based discussion, where women across age groups, marital status, professions and lifestyles, were sending in their truths about the ways married men cheat, lie, and manipulate their way through marriage...

In what's considered this podcast's most controversial episode so far, join The Slumflower as we tuck into this discourse and unveil the skeletons married women might be (unknowingly) helping their husbands hide!

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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ARE YOU MAKING EXCUSES? Apr 18, 2024

Is 'that's just how I am', your default response to being called out for certain behaviours that might be holding you back? Or is 'that's just how he is', your way of justifying that man's irresponsible behaviour towards you?

Being a strict babe isn't for everyone but in this episode, we visit the various ways we can let go of the excuses and start observing our situations for what they really are...

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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WHAT IF *THIS* IS IT? Apr 12, 2024

What if the love you seek has already found you? Is self-love really the best love? Based on the awful reputation they have created for themselves, is there a limit to which we can involve men in our deepest dreams for the future?

Much was covered in this episode! Join The Slumflower as she discusses why 'happily ever after' might already have happened for us and we haven't noticed... ;)

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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DATING MULTIPLE MEN Apr 05, 2024

Are you a 'one man' type of lover but you're curious? Has your boyfriend pissed you off beyond repair? Has the world convinced you that you're 'greedy' for dating more than one dude?

If any of the above questions jump out at you, you're really going to dig this episode! Special shout-out to the girlies that already get it. ;)

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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THE UNFORGIVING WOMAN Mar 29, 2024

Are you a woman who struggles to forgive men? Do people make you feel like you hold grudges for too long? Are you a recovering pushover?

If any of the above questions resonate with you, pay attention to this episode! In this discussion, join Chidera as she runs through all the reasons men don't deserve to be forgiven so easily, and the ways women sabotage themselves by handing out the benefit of doubt to every Tom, Dami and Harry...

Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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ARE STRAIGHT WOMEN OKAY? Mar 22, 2024

Why are straight women so helplessly bound to their heterosexuality? How can straight women gain more from their attraction to men without losing themselves? What do straight women keep doing wrong to further reinforce their suffering?

In this episode, Chidera visits the various ways straight women betray themselves in exchange for 'love' from men...

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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ABOUT 'BLACK LOVE'... Mar 15, 2024

Do Black women benefit from 'race first' solidarity in their dating decisions?

Is Black women's appreciation of Black men reciprocated?

Are we moving towards a society where interracial relationships are becoming more popular as a form of Black women's resistance to intra-communal suffrage and misogynoir?

Whilst this episode is deeply controversial, join The Slumflower as she discusses divesting from solely dating Black men, and what going where the love is looks like...

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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SHOULD YOU POST YOUR MAN? Mar 08, 2024

In an age where we feel compelled to prove we are loved, is sharing pictures of your boyfriend on social media a risky move? Do we jinx it by claiming men in public too soon? Do men benefit from us posting them online as our partners?

In this episode, Chidera discusses why she is averse to the idea of sharing pictures of your new boyfriend on social media - and why the relief of not posting him might be worth it if/when he pisses you off!

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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HOW MEN CONTROL YOU Mar 01, 2024

This episode was voted for by my patrons over on Patreon!

In an age where women seem to not grasp that men are swindling them for sex, what can we do to raise our awareness of the ways men passively control women to get what they want from us?

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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ARE YOU TOO GULLIBLE? Feb 23, 2024

Are you easily swindled by a man's enthusiastic advances? Are you in a hurry to believe what a man says if it means you can have a relationship to claim? Do you need to mentally fortify yourself with the strength to dodge lovebombing?

If any of the above questions resonate, this one's for you!

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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HOW TO FALL OUT OF LOVE Feb 16, 2024

Are you emotionally stuck in your attachment to him? Does it feel like you are cutting off a limb by cutting him off? Do you need to be talked off the ledge of over-investment in this man? Gather round the fireplace, let's talk... In this episode, The Slumflower runs through a comprehensive thought stream on how to emotionally detach from men without losing your determination in the process - along with ways to cheat to your benefit (if you really have to!)

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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STORYTIME: MY MILLIONAIRE SUB Feb 09, 2024

In this fun storytime, join The Slumflower as she spills the details of her encounter with a rather generous submissive man... ;)

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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FIRST DATE 101 Feb 01, 2024

This episode was voted for by my patrons over on Patreon!

Do you find yourself panicking on first dates? Does your overthinking breed overcompensation? Are you scared of awkward silences?

If you resonate with any of the above questions, this episode is definitely for you!

Dating should be fun and in this short and sweet episode, join The Slumflower as she talks you through fun ways to get through dating without getting yourself too involved. ;)

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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TIME TO QUIT DATING APPS? Jan 26, 2024

Are you still on your digital quest for love? Is the dating app fatigue kicking in? Have you started checking the dating apps more than you check Instagram? It might be time for a breather...

In this episode, Chidera speaks on why she thinks you should quit dating apps once and for all!

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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DOMINATING YOUR HUSBAND WITH KATHERINE RYAN Jan 19, 2024

In the highly anticipated first episode of SEASON 2, The Slumflower joins forces with the unstoppable comedian: Katherine Ryan!

Is having a man's children the ultimate betrayal? Should women dominate their husbands? Are breadwinner wives doomed?

It all goes down in this hilarious, truthful and vulnerable episode...

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower

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*SEASON 1 FINALE* IN CONVERSATION WITH: MISTRESS MARLEY Nov 10, 2023

This is the FINAL episode of The Slumflower Hour podcast's first ever season and of course, we had to wrap this up in style!

It is with great honour to introduce to you, MISTRESS MARLEY: the professional dominatrix and sex educator, who took social media by storm with a viral video of her taking a leashed, kneeling, elderly, white male sub to her homecoming.

Since the viral moment was documented in The New York Times, Mistress Marley has gone on to expand further into her dominance as a profession, taking on celebrity male clients and making six figures a year, centering reparations in her work and using her platform to teach other women how to become dominatrixes - all whilst throwing kink parties and fostering community for Black people in kink!

In this conversation, join Chidera and Mistress Marley as they both muse on dating as dominatrixes, learning how to tell men what to do, common misconceptions about dominating men and the various ways being a dominatrix can provide useful transferrable skills for everyday life.

You can find Mistress Marley at:

@hausofmarley on Instagram

@eyesxonfire on Twitter

Mistress Marley's domination courses: https://www.patreon.com/sexcademy

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THE BENEFITS OF BEING SINGLE Nov 03, 2023

Are relationships your comfort zone? Are you scared of being alone? Have you spent more time being in relationships, than being single?

You may really benefit from this episode if you resonate with any of the above questions!

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses living a life you aren’t in a hurry to escape from, developing the confidence to walk away from men and choosing your life, not settling for it.

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower (Out November 2023)!

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ACCEPTING GENEROSITY FROM MEN? Oct 27, 2023

Do you fear that you 'owe' men something in return for their kindness? Are you self-deprecating and unable to see yourself as worthy of receiving? Do you feel bad when men go out of their way for you?

If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, this episode is definitely for YOU!

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Pre-order my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower (Out November 2023)!

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WOMEN OF THE ZODIAC Oct 20, 2023

As complex and unique as we all are, there are still traits we share in common - depending on what period of the year we were born in!

Join The Slumflower as she discusses the weaknesses and strengths of your zodiac sign - and even if you don't resonate with astrology, you may learn a fun fact or two!

The 'Men of The zodiac' episode was hilarious so after many requests - both on the Patreon and in Instagram DM's, we now have an episode (lovingly) dragging the women of all 12 zodiac signs.

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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SEXUAL DISCIPLINE Oct 12, 2023

Is your horniness hindering you? Do you find yourself making more excuses for him because of your sexual attraction to him? Are you giving away so much of yourself and still not getting what you want from him? It may be time to talk about sexual discipline...

In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses better ways to manage your sexual urges without losing yourself, as well as why it's sometimes important to revoke access to the pussy, even if the pussy still wants to play!

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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HOLDING SPACE FOR RAGE Oct 05, 2023

This episode was voted for by my patrons over on my Patreon!

Does misandry hold the same weight as misogyny? Are men trying hard enough? Are women ever going to be free from patriarchy?

In this episode, The Slumflower discusses why anger is vital for liberation, how being too compassionate towards men is keeping us stuck, and why it matters to have outlets to release your rage.

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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LOANING A MAN MONEY? Sep 29, 2023

Where do you draw the line of financially supporting a man you care about? Are men more likely to take advantage of generous women? What happens if that man can't pay you back?

In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the slippery slope of borrowing money to men...whilst being in a sexual relationship with the man you're financially supporting!

Are there exceptional scenarios? Or should we just leave men to fix their own financial problems?

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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RAISING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM WHILE DATING Sep 22, 2023

This episode was voted for by my patrons over on my Patreon!

In the longest episode so far, join The Slumflower as she talks about raising your self-esteem, through the lens of observing rejection sensitivity, desperation, and comparing yourself to women who are in relationships you idolise.

Do men target women who they detect have low self-esteem? Is it too late to raise your self-esteem and date better? Does a woman need to be stupendously beautiful for a man to desire and respect her?

It all goes down in this episode - hilariously and as usual, impactfully!

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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ASKING FOR TOO MUCH OR ASKING THE WRONG MAN? Sep 15, 2023

In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses: what's the difference between ‘being bought’ and being where your worth feels valued? Do you feel comfortable asking men for things or are you scared they will think you're 'fleecing' them? What makes a man worth being the 'right' man for you?

Sometimes, you might not even by asking for too much...sometimes, he's just the wrong man!

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

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*SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!* Sep 08, 2023

You waited patiently and it's finally happening...THE SLUMFLOWER HOUR IS NOW ON PATREON!

Over at my Patreon page, you can enjoy the following benefits:

BONUS MINISODES: 2 x Monthly Exclusive Mini-sodes (15-minute video bites)
EXCLUSIVE WORKSHOP SERIES: access to the full video workshop series
DIGITAL DOWNLOADS: access all worksheets and resource downloads including the BRAND NEW DILEMMA MANUAL - A quick guide to decide on whether to keep or leave that guy!
EPISODES FROM THE VAULT: access the archive of unseen full-length podcast episodes
LIVE RECORDINGS: stream exclusive audio from past live show recordings
VOTING POWER: help pick which topics I should cover on the podcast
MEMBERS ONLY GROUP CHAT: private member's community where you can chat amongst yourselves and share resources on how to better survive patriarchy
FREE EBOOK: free download of The New Patriarchy’s Worst Nightmare, Volume 2: The E-Book (Ahead of its January 2024 public release, £10)

I look forward to seeing you on the other side. Come join me!

patreon.com/theslumflower

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SO YOU CAUGHT HIM LYING... Sep 01, 2023

Are men trustworthy? Are there times when it's okay for a man to lie to you? Are you too honest with men?

In a rather hilarious episode, Chidera unpacks the reality that the man you love will at some point, lie to you - and how we can make peace with the insincerity of men, whilst also accommodating the layers of nuance and reasoning as to why a man might lie; plus how we can benefit from catching him in said lie...depending on how damaging the lie is!

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BUT WHAT ABOUT LOVE? Aug 25, 2023

Is a straight relationship devoid of love if the woman employs critical thought and strategy in how she shows up in the partnership? Can love and money co-exist? Has this generation missed out on what 'real love' truly means?

In this episode, The Slumflower muses on the most common rebuttal she gets from women: 'but what about love?'

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WHY YOUR BOUNDARIES AREN'T WORKING Aug 17, 2023

Are you flimsy with your boundaries? Are you too forgiving of men? Do you find yourself being too agreeable and malleable?

In this episode, Chidera discusses the idea of creating penalties when men hurt your feelings yet automatically expect forgiveness, why your boundaries might not be working, and what you can do to be stern while still maintaining your sweetness.

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SO YOU FUCKED HIM TOO SOON...NOW WHAT? Aug 11, 2023

When is considered 'too soon' to sleep with a guy? Do men value it when you tell them 'I don't usually do this'? Are your sexual impulses sabotaging you?

In this hilarious and anecdotal episode, Chidera discusses how a one-night-stand became a 3-week-bender, and what she learnt from the pursuit of instant gratification. We also touch on the controversy of sending nudes to men, and whether your power as a woman can still be redeemable after sleeping with a guy pretty early on into knowing him - especially if after the intimate exchange, you've noticed a change in his behaviour towards you.

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COMPROMISE VS SETTLING Aug 04, 2023

Would you rather settle or compromise? Have you explored the difference between settling and compromising? Are you his dream girl or are you his intermediary space-filler while he uses you to get good enough for his dream girl?

In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses why compromise isn't as bad as we think it is - and the ways men compromise in their partnerships with women too. We also touch on many women conflating compromise with settling, and why identifying that distinction could save you years of heartache and under-satisfaction.

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IS FALLING IN LOVE HOLDING YOU BACK? Jul 28, 2023

Are you addicted to dating apps? Has your pursuit for love become so persistent that you are willing to just accept whoever comes into your life? Are you dampening your ambitions to satisfy the man you're dating?

In this episode, The Slumflower muses on the mistakes we make when we sell ourselves short in the hopes of fast-tracking a romantic connection. We also discuss whether long-distance relationships are a good idea, and why many women develop depression from a failing relationship.

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CONTROLLING YOUR SEXUAL URGES Jul 21, 2023

Is sex different with celebrity men vs regular men? Are the women who think they’re better than sex workers aware they’re casually giving men free access to the same sex other women benefit from? Do men deserve bareback privileges?

In this episode, The Slumflower talks about holding out vs giving in, being more likely to slip into 'friends with benefits' scenarios because you are driven by your sexual urges, as well as the issue of sending men nudes...

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TRAPPED IN THE TALKING STAGE? Jul 13, 2023

Is the 'talking stage' even a real thing or is that man securing you as his placeholder? Do we need better boundaries with men who we are granting the chance to get to know us? Should we be making men work harder for our phone numbers?

In this episode, join Chidera as she troubleshoots the 'talking stage' and debunks the common male hesitancy to be more affirmative and enthusiastic in their pursuit of you, while she visits the various ways men use the 'talking stage' as a way to buy themselves more of your time that they are wasting.

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BECOMING MORE SAVAGE! Jul 06, 2023

Should we be more 'unrealistic' in our desires and demands of men? Are we benefiting from holding back on giving men a taste of their own medicine? Does our definition of 'savage' need to change?

In this episode, Chidera discusses why it matters to match a man's arrogance, why you need to stop explaining yourself to men and why it's important to hold space for the things you don't find attractive about him - no matter how much you fancy him, as a means of staying grounded without becoming grandiose in your attraction to him.

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OBSESSION VS DEVOTION Jun 30, 2023

Is it always a compliment when a man is obsessed with you? Should women be striving more for devotion in men they date? Does a man being obsessed with you mean he will meet your needs?

In this episode, The Slumflower shares stories of men she's had to block due to obsession, along with a discussion on what makes obsession and devotion different - even though women seem to conflate the two concepts.

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CONTROLLING YOUR EMOTIONS Jun 22, 2023

Are men right when they say women are 'too emotional'? Do we give our power away by crying in front of men about their actions? Should we be more strategic in how we present our sensitivity?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she covers the conundrum of feeling stupid after over-reacting, learning to communicate your feelings to men without gaslighting yourself/downplaying what you truly want to say, leaving the comfort zone of over-sharing your emotions with guys, and resisting the urge to share subliminal social media posts when you're feeling triggered.

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IS THAT MAN FETISHISING YOU? Jun 15, 2023

If you are an older woman who is dating a significantly younger man, have you explored the possibility that he may have a mommy kink? Are you a light-skinned woman dating a dark-skinned Black man? Have you considered the possibility that he might be anti-Black if all his dating history is mixed race/white women? Or maybe you might be a fat woman on the dating scene - have you ever considered that you deserve to leverage your uniqueness even further?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she visits the various ways men fetishise women - and ways that women can make that same fetishisation work in their favour if they so wish.

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STAYING GROUNDED WHILE STANDING YOUR GROUND Jun 09, 2023

Do you find yourself trying to be strong when ignoring men back, only to find yourself caving and giving into your urges to hear from him? Do you feel bad about mirroring a man's energy? Do you have a scarcity mindset with men and dating?

In this episode, Chidera discusses the importance of having an emotional anchor to refer to when you start to ‘forget’ why you’re upset with that man, learning how to use pain as a focal point to guide your behaviour when interacting with a guy, and allowing yourself to experience dating hot guys, broke guys, popular guys and other iterations of men who can't do anything substantial for you - in order to rid yourself of the FOMO and curiosity and in turn, have a more focused outlook when dating with your future in mind.

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SO HE'S COME BACK...NOW WHAT? Jun 01, 2023

Is it really a good thing when a guy comes back? Are you his emotional crutch? Did someone else reject him and as a result, he’s come to seek comfort in you?

In this episode, Chidera discusses why you probably should keep him on ice and stand your ground, why you need to start demanding reparations from repeat apologists, believing more in your sauce as the woman he's suddenly returned to, and making him work to earn the same spot in your life that he once took for granted. This is your world and the rules are yours to create and shape as you go along.

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MEN OF THE ZODIAC... May 26, 2023

Ever been with a Gemini man and wondered why he's like 'that'? Or have you dated a Scorpio man and haven't been able to understand why they do that obsessed-nonchalant thing? Maybe you've been with a Virgo man and you ended up leaving the relationship with insecurities you never even had to begin with... either way, you'll really enjoy this episode.

From Aries through to Pisces, Chidera drags all the men of the zodiac signs - touching on reasons they're most likely to cheat, what makes them insufferable and how to catch them slipping!

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IS THAT MAN JEALOUS OF YOU? May 18, 2023

Do you find yourself feeling like that man is trying to compete with you? Is his desire to be right more important than his desire to treat you right? Do you feel like you need to minimise your accomplishments and wins in front of him, as a means of avoiding making him feel small?

If you answered 'yes' to at least one of these, this episode is especially for you! During this thought stream, Chidera touches on the cunning and often overlooked ways that insecure men jealously chip away at your self esteem to make themselves feel like they're better than you.

Whether he's a silent story-watcher, or a sudden 'Mr Unbothered' who was flirting with you the week before, there's something to take away from this episode to hopefully equip yourself with the awareness to spot men like this early on...

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MAKING THE FIRST MOVE? May 11, 2023

Is making the first move with a man desperate...or decisive? Are there exceptions where making the first move might be a good idea? Is the feminist idea of equality through moving to men, serving us or sabotaging us?

In this episode, The Slumflower visits moments where she's made the first move - including times when it has and hasn't worked! She also discusses non-desperate ways to make the first move whilst retaining your position as the goddess whose trust deserves to be delightfully earned.

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MANIFESTING A MAN? May 05, 2023

Are you 'manifesting' the man of your dreams or are you too hyper-fixated on the prospect of a man loving you? Are you really returning to church to seek closeness with the Lord or are you looking for a man? Have you found yourself so deep in the rabbit hole of obsession, that you're paying tarot readers and astrologers to confirm your bias that he likes you back?

In this episode, Chidera talks about how digitised spirituality has enabled us into a mindset of using 'magic' to call regular-ass men into our lives, the danger of being so attached to the idea of finding love that you forget to dream beyond meeting a man, and the reality that if you have to 'manifest' him, you're probably already obsessed with him...

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FOCUSED ON THE WRONG VALUES? Apr 29, 2023

Are you prioritising values in dating that aren't productive to you? Are you attracting low effort men who are drawn to your low self esteem? Is your fixation on morality keeping you stuck within the realm of dating men who are dull and unimpressive?

In this episode, The Slumflower discusses donating pussy to needy men out of fear to be seen as a bad person, separating yourself from maliciously imposed values coming from family and religion, and the danger of dating to marry.

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THE FALLACY OF THE FRIENDZONE Apr 20, 2023

Why is the word 'friendzone' such a loaded term? How did we arrive at a place where men have successfully managed to push the 'friends with benefits' propaganda whilst they largely remain the only people who actually benefit from this mutual agreement? Are we deluding ourselves by letting the homies hit, in the hopes that they will treat us better than men we barely know?

In this episode, Chidera dissertates on why she believes stingy men should be fast-tracked to the friendzone, ways women can tangibly benefit from a 'friends with benefits' setup and why good-looking men deserve to be treated just like regular-looking men.

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REVENGE & REPARATIONS Apr 13, 2023

Are men oppressed by misandry? Why do we feel bad about asking our oppressors for stuff? Has feminism worked for us in dating? Can reparative justice and wholesome revenge serve as liberationist praxis?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she touches on the idea of learning to be stern even when we are scared to upset men, exploring the possibilities of how much better things could be for us if we de-prioritized being liked by people who nut in socks and de-bunking the fear-mongering instilled by men, that we have taken our empowerment 'too far'.

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CUTTING OFF YOUR FRIENDS BUT KEEPING YOUR BOYFRIEND? Apr 07, 2023

Why do we make exceptions and excuses for men yet, we penalise our female friends for similar offences? What happens when we enmesh our personalities with the men we are dating and in effect, we neglect our friendships with the women in our lives? Why do we leap at the idea of moving countries to strengthen a long-distance relationship with a man yet, we feel fear to take a risk of that size for our own selves?

In this episode, Chidera discusses the complexity of showing up for friends who complain about their boyfriends and still stay, losing yourself in your partnerships with men, and why we have placed so much emphasis on being picked by men, that we have forgotten how to be in community with women.

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INSTINCTS VS IMPULSES Mar 30, 2023

Are you really following your gut...or are you being led by your impulses? Does your pursuit of love compel you to operate from a place of FOMO and as a result, you keep finding yourself in situations you have to emotionally recover from? Is your romantic search for dopamine leading you to disappointment?

In this short and sweet episode of The Slumflower Hour, Chidera discusses her relationship with rejection-sensitivity, the mistake we sometimes make of conflating a connection with compatibility, and learning to use your impulses to your advantage - as opposed to always giving into urges you haven't confronted.

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THE PARADOX OF PEOPLE-PLEASING Mar 24, 2023

Does being a people pleaser put you in a position where you're more likely to encounter financially and emotionally manipulative men? Are we conflating kindness with codependency? What do we gain from putting men's sexual needs above our own? Why are people accepting 'nap/shower dates' from men?

In this episode, Chidera visits her past as a former 'pick me' (aka desperate dater), the pitfalls of financially sponsoring men who will spend your money on other women, signing legally-binding documents with crooked men, letting men use your car/address to do shady shit, referring to yourself as a 'easy down-ass chick' when really, you're scared men won't pick you...

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DESPERATION IN DATING... Mar 17, 2023

Have you ever considered that your desperation might be repelling the men who are actually meant for you? With the rise of 'femininity coaching', are men even worth the fixation we place on being 'feminine' for them? Are femininity coaches desperate? Is Lori Harvey being 'passed around' by men, or is she onto something we haven't clocked yet?

In this rather hilarious episode, Chidera discusses her own past with trying out the 'femininity' approach to dating, and delves into why in her experience and opinion, it doesn't work. In a world where relationships with men can grant us social currency, are we picking men based on what will look nice online, or are we choosing male partners based on how ready they are to support and love us as multi-dimensional beings?

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DO YOU WANT 'CLOSURE' OR CONTROL? Mar 10, 2023

Why do we even seek closure after a relationship has ended? Is it to find peace in a resolved answer? Are we secretly looking for one last opportunity to re-connect? Does ending a relationship on friendly/open-ended terms give us closure?

In this week's episode, The Slumflower discusses why the pursuit of closure could be linked to the desire to feel a sense of control - and why this usually comes from not wanting to confront feelings of rejection and idleness. Do we give our power away when we entertain our own delusions of what it means when an ex returns out of the blue?

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REASONS TO LEAVE THAT MAN Mar 03, 2023

Do his compliments feel forced? Do you find yourself clinging onto minor moments and over-analyzed texts, to justify to yourself that he 'does' like you? Is he in competition with you? If you resonated with any of these questions, it might be time to leave that man. For some of us, walking away feels too scary to fathom, but the best way to start is to compile a list of pros and cons, starting with reasons to leave vs reasons to stay!

Join Chidera, as she goes through a comprehensive list of reasons to leave that man - and why you must trust in that decision if it feels right for you!

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FROM LOVEBOMBING TO LOW-BALLING Feb 24, 2023

Is that man gassing you up to disarm you, only to slowly start pulling away and giving you less? In this episode, The Slumflower discusses why you might need to pause on dating men if you're a pushover, and whether looks are a good enough reason to give a guy a chance to date you. Are visually-appealing relationships becoming the new content farms for influencers who have something to prove? Is posting your boyfriend bad luck for the relationship? Are men even worth publicly claiming anymore?

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IS HE 'MR RIGHT' OR MR RIGHT NOW? Feb 17, 2023

Trying to figure out if the guy you're currently seeing is just for a season? In this episode, Chidera dissertates on the difference between a 'Mr Right' and a 'Mr Right Now'.

Does it feel like you conveniently have a lot in common with your guy but for some reason, something still feels off? Or is there a compatibility even though you both maintain your unique individualism? Do you feel conditionally desired by him? Or are you confident in his attraction to you? By the end of this episode, you'll be able to figure out if he's a keeper or a leaver!

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NEGOTIATING YOUR NEEDS Feb 10, 2023

In this hilarious episode, join Chidera as she ponders on encountering patriarchy when dating: are men ever worth neglecting your non-negotiables for? Do you even have non-negotiables for men you prefer to date and if not, why are you scared? Why are there men who love women that know what they like, until what that woman likes is money, or something else he cannot falsely present? What happens if we accept that all relationships are somewhat transactional? Will we then, be able to approach the conversation of negotiation as an important element of partnering with men?

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DISCERNMENT ON DATING APPS Feb 03, 2023

In an episode full of spicy dating app anecdotes, join The Slumflower as she discusses what to put on your profile to best communicate your standards while still being fun and flirty, alarming things to look out for on a guy's dating app profile, why she doesn't believe in giving out your phone number to men on dating apps - even if you've agreed too meet for the first time, and why you should probably avoid telling men you're 'looking for a relationship'!

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EMOTIONAL EROSION: THE TOLL MEN TAKE ON US Jan 27, 2023

Is the desperation and hurry to find 'the one' leading us into the arms of dangerous men? Can being an 'independent woman' put you at more risk of accepting men who dump their financial problems onto you? What happens if the abusive man you're dating has finally started therapy? Should you cling onto the hope that he will start treating you better, or should you cut your losses and leave even if there's a (slim) chance he might actually change forever?

In this episode, The Slumflower explores the emotional erosion men enact on us, and why walking away will almost always be a better choice than to stay.

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THINGS I'VE CHANGED MY MIND ON... Jan 20, 2023

Have you ever been swiped on a dating app by a man who once bullied you? Are 'all men' really bad? Would you date a simp?

Amongst these questions, Chidera discusses sentiments regarding men that she's changed her mind on, reserving her femdom sadism for white men, and her cash kink - along with a story of when a man paid her for a 'girlfriend experience'. Should men pay to date us or have women taken the self-appreciation too far?

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COME GET ME WHEN YOU'VE GOT YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! Jan 13, 2023

Are you granting men #PityPussy because you feel sorry for them? Do you feel like a bad person for not wanting to date a guy who isn't doing very well in his life right now? Are you picking men as partners or projects and how long do these projects usually last before you recognise you've slipped back into the cycle of saving men? If you answered 'yes' to any of these, YOU'RE NOT ALONE!

Amongst this array of questions, The Slumflower discusses the advantages of asexuality in dating, deliberately amping up the sexy after leaving him (for his own good), and manoeuvring sexual tension with sexy male friends - without falling into the friends-with-benefits trap!

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TO BLOCK? OR NOT TO BLOCK? Jan 06, 2023

Does every sour situation need to end in blocking him? Or are there other ways to teach him how to treat you?

When blocking men from having undeserved access to you, there is a fear of looking 'bitter'. But maybe coming across scorned in response to misogyny isn't the worst thing that could ever happen to you!

In this episode, The Slumflower discusses why insecure men usually target strong, bold women - along with all the encouragement, affirmation and motivation you need to get rid of that man who's lingering in the corridors of your life like a lost Victorian child.

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ROMANCE IN A RECESSION? Dec 30, 2022

As the recession rises, will we start accepting even less from men because we feel sorry for them? Are we going to see a rise in women accommodating men at their own expense?

Women are scared of being financially abused by men who out-earn them, but does paying men's way instead, protect us from their abuse?

Join The Slumflower, as she opens up the question of whether a woman can be feminist and accept financial support from men, and whether we are shooting ourselves in the foot by veering too far down the rabbit hole of ‘independence’.

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I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, I'M YOUR GODDESS. Dec 23, 2022

Have you ever imagined what a powerful version of yourself would look like if you knew you'd never face judgement or failure? Why are we so scared of upholding our own sexual power in a world where men exert their dominion on us everyday?

The Slumflower opens up about her experience as a dominatrix, why women deserve to be adored on their terms, and how leaning into your femme-dominance might actually be the catalyst for healing your relationship with men.

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SO IS HE BUSY OR IS HE BORED OF YOU? Dec 16, 2022

How do you deal with the inevitable male complacency, that comes with making yourself far too available, way too soon? What does it mean when he suddenly starts to pull away after being intense with you?

In this episode, The Slumflower talks pole dancing as a sexy hobby, being able to spot an unserious man, along with ideas on how to gracefully handle ghosting!

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WELCOME TO THE SLUMFLOWER HOUR! Dec 08, 2022

What happens when being a good girl doesn't work? What happens when you finally decide to know your worth and act on it? Is your joy worth the temporary sacrifice of familiarity and comfort? Or is it safer to settle into the subjugation and watch your life pass you by?

Chidera is the angel on your shoulder, here to remind you that it's not too late to redeem your power as a woman. She's also the shoulder demon that will 100% enable you to be that extra little bit more selfish. After all, men do it all the time right?

Watch and listen every Friday!

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