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    Health

    The Problem Was Me

    The Problem Was Me hosted by Thomas Gagliano, a best selling author and social worker will be discussing issues from negative childhood messages to relationships, to addiction and gambling. Join Tom every week with his candor and humility as he touches on these issues from his own personal experiences and help listeners break the cycles of negative and addictive thinking.

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    Copyright: © Thomas Gagliano 2018

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    Latest Episodes:
    The power of childhood messages and their impact on adulthood Aug 06, 2024
    Show notes

    This podcast will discuss the ways childhood messages impact every aspect of our lives, to the intimacy we have or don't have, our parenting skills, the careers we choose, even the roles we are set up to play in adulthood. Verbal and non verbal messages create the people pleaser role, the caretaker role, the invisible role, the defiant role, the perfectionist role, as well as the addictive role. Are you happy in the role you were set up to play? If the answer is no, or if you're not sure, let's analyze which messages have helped you and identify which messages need attention. In this podcast I will also discuss who I was, and what happened to change who I am today, as well as the ways I've helped others avoid self-sabotage. Watch https://www.transformationtalkradio.com/watch.html


    A Society Riddled With Anxiety a Guest Interview on Lifestyle 360 Podcast Apr 18, 2019
    Show notes

    Join Tom as he is interviewed by Robb Thompson of Lifestyle 360 Podcast. Tom has worn many hats throughout his career. As a young man, he soon became a successful entrepreneur with a proven track record in small business ventures in the greater New York area. Tom has also been a high profile leader in addiction and self-help therapy. He helped develop unique methods and procedures which have helped numerous institutions and individuals with anxiety and addiction issues.

    In This Episode:

    • Why our society today is riddled with anxiety and depression
    • How communication has this led to distorted values and cultivated an anxiety-ridden society
    • What we can do to escape perfectionism and the feelings of sadness and inferiority
    • How social media has played a part in contributing to this increasing problem
    • What we can do as parents, mentors and leaders to help future generations combat the outside messages

    What Are Some Signs You Grew Up With A Toxic Parent Apr 04, 2019
    Show notes

    This podcast is not about criticizing anyone's parents. Rather its important to build enough awareness to know which messages we received in our childhood that have helped us in our lives and recognize which messages need to be challenged in order to enhance our happiness. By building self- awareness we can then look at those upswept corners of our lives through clearer lenses. This, in turn, will help us identify and understand our strengths and weaknesses in all our relationships. Especially the most important relationship we have, which is the one we have with ourselves. As we learn to manage any and all intrusive messages in childhood we can then stop these messages from guiding our behaviors. This podcast will provide the tools needed to stay to do this as well supplying the ways to stay on track.


    How is sex addiction the same and different from other addictions? Mar 28, 2019
    Show notes

    The podcast will discuss the similarities and differences between sex addiction and other addictions. Through out all of my podcast, childhood messages will be discussed as the key ingredient towards healthy adulthood. In addiction, neurons that are fused together in childhood will stay together in adulthood, and acted out with various addictions. The podcast will explain the steps needed for the addict to heal and the reason why sex addiction, namely pornography, is and will continue to be the most powerful addiction we have today. This podcast will demonstrate how both addictions have similar underlying qualities, but also provide the difference in the healing process for sex addiction. Due to the stigma of sex addiction, both in and out of twelve step rooms, the shame and understanding of 'triggers' must be handled in a different manner than other addictions.


    Managing Childhood Wounds Mar 21, 2019
    Show notes

    We are not responsible for our childhood wounds but we are responsible to heal them or at least manage them if we are to find happiness in our lives.

    The release of the documentary, Leaving Neverland, has triggered an important conversation regarding sexual abuse. Including Oprah Winfrey stating, "Stop staring into the sun and do what is necessary to heal our children and heal ourselves." This documentary awakened feelings in my own journey in recovery. In this podcast I will not give an opinion on whether or not Michael Jackson did the things he is accused of. Rather, this podcast will discuss the steps I've taken and the ways I've helped others manage and heal their childhood traumas.

    We are not responsible for our childhood wounds or abuses but we are responsible for healing or at least learning how to manage our wounds in order to find peace in our lives. It takes tremendous courage to look under those unswept corners of our lives, but unless we do we may be committing suicide by installments never allowing the love of others to enter into our world. I have a Masters Degree in Social Work and a best selling author but what you'll hear in this podcast is the way I learned to manage my own demons, to finally find peace in my life, and to help others do the same.

    Healing is an ongoing process of self-determination and self-discipline. While the rewards are not always immediate, beautiful gifts await if you are patient and can take direction. Not until we stop denying our own past and begin sharing our wounds, will we allow ourselves to be loved by other people.

    The common problems we face are from unhealed childhood wounds that have remained buried and eventually come back to haunt us. Only when we permit the window into our past to be opened, exposing the core of our adult difficulties, can we begin the healing process.

    Sometimes we act in ways that do not always make sense as we hurt ourselves and others. We feel compelled to listen to the destructive inner voice in our head. Making sense of our actions is like figuring out a jigsaw puzzle. The first step is to seek help in order to understand what is broken inside.

    As we increase self-awareness we can better understand the choices we need to take to better our lives. If we maintain these actions we then develop healthy habits, which will bring healthy boundaries and intimacy into our lives. All of these ingredients need to become a WE process instead of a ME process. This means we need the help of others as we walk through this journey together.


    Signs that you're in a relationship with a narcissist Mar 14, 2019
    Show notes

    This podcast explains what a narcissist is and will answer the following questions. How is a narcissist different from someone with a lot of self-confidence? What is gas lighting and how and why does a narcissist gaslight those closest to them? Why do they do this to those they love? Do they really love them or is it all about manipulation? How does a codependent partner work well for a narcissist? What is the bill the partner pays, short term and long term, if they stay in a narcissistic relationship? How does a narcissist make you feel that you are the problem in the relationship? Why is it so important to create healthy boundaries, consequences, and support groups to survive or end a narcissistic relationship?


    How to Get Through a Divorce or a Breakup Mar 07, 2019
    Show notes

    In this podcast we will discuss the ways to get through a painful divorce or breakup. When should you start to date again? What does the grieving period feel like when you end a relationship? What did you learn from a failed relationship if you want your new one to last? Remember, if we don't look at ourselves honestly we will find the same personality traits we chose before. The definition of insanity is, "doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". Building awareness, with the help of a trusting support group, can help you find the right person. Supportive people can help you see what you may not be able to see for yourself.

    We will discuss the things you should and shouldn't say to a friend who is going through a breakup. In this podcast we will also address some of the biggest mistakes parents can make when going through a divorce or breakup, regarding how they handle their children.


    Creating Healthy Boundaries Feb 28, 2019
    Show notes

    This podcast discusses the creation of healthy boundaries in our lives. It will outline why creating boundaries may be difficult for some, how to create healthy boundaries, and the ways to stick to the boundaries we set. We will discuss boundaries in the work place, as well as with our significant other, friends, parents, and children. This podcast will also discuss internal boundaries, which are what we say or don't say to others, as well as external boundaries, which is the way we protect our loved ones and ourselves. We will discuss why it is important to understand the difference between selfishness and self- care when setting boundaries. This difference can be confusing if you come from a childhood that didn't model healthy boundaries between the caregivers in our own childhood. We will also discuss how to process uncomfortable feelings with others when boundaries are initially put into place.


    Hazing – the dirty little campus secret Feb 21, 2019
    Show notes

    Campus bullying and Hazing has reached epidemic levels and is of major concern to Students, parents, and faculty. What are the key components concerning Hazing? How does supposedly innocent fun turn into devastating outcomes? What are the ingredients that create this scenario? We know that one ingredient is anger; all of us have some anger inside. Another ingredient seems to be alcohol since 90 percent of hazing accidents involve alcohol. If you put the first two ingredients together the result is a destructive entitlement. This is where the participants give themselves permission to act in ways regardless of the harm it causes themselves or others. We know we can pay a devastating price for hazing but what are the goals. What are the participants looking to get back from these actions and are they getting back what they expect.

    The college student trusts that the group will not harm them moving blindly, ignoring their own values and beliefs because hazing is connected to traditions and no one questions traditions. They trust the leader will keep them safe, an assumption that can have devastating results. The student has no hazing experience so there is no reference as to the dangers ahead. They are told that the fraternity comes before the individual, a powerful and dangerous message.

    We will also discuss bringing awareness to the student as to the PAYOFF as well as helping the student think about whether they are receiving what they thought they were getting. This podcast will discuss the creation of student support group to monitor and to help each other to take safer actions as well as reporting hazardous hazing. How can parents, faculty and police govern hazing actions so that there is less chance of disastrous results.


    Valentines Day Message-What She/He Really Wants – Intimacy Feb 14, 2019
    Show notes

    Yes, chocolates are great, and so is jewelry, but the real thing women and men crave is intimacy. Unfortunately, many of us are so afraid of intimacy they we sabotage our happiness by subconsciously pushing our partners away. Not because we want to but because we don't know how too. This podcast will discuss the ways we can give them emotional intimacy and at the same time find unexpected rewards in return. Help your partner in those areas in their life where they don't expect help. The key is to do it without expecting anything in return. Although, it will very likely help you get lucky in the areas you desire.


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