The Place We Find Ourselves

Latest Episodes:

11 Implicit Memory: The Thing That's Running Your Life Jun 18, 2018

Show notes

When it comes to how and why you react to things the way you do, nothing is more important than implicit memory. Do you ever feel intense emotion that you know is "more than the situation calls for"? Perhaps you think of these experiences as "over-reactions." These intense emotional reactions are not over-reactions at all. They are directly proportional to how your brain interprets your experience through the grid of your implicit memory.

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10 The Trauma of Abandonment with Gary B Jun 11, 2018

Show notes

Gary explains what brought him to begin engaging his story. Through counseling with Brent Curtis, Gary came to realize that there were several characters in his life story who had a profound influence on his heart and life. Gary tells a story that happened when he was 10 years old, and he explains how he made a commitment at the end of that story which would enslave him for years.

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9 Why Engaging Your Story Requires Anger at God Jun 04, 2018

Show notes

Sometimes, "the place we find ourselves" is a place of anger at God. Some of us grew up in Christian sub-cultures in which anger at God was not allowed. If you were angry at God for too long, you had a sense that there was something wrong with you. As a result, many Christians feel ashamed if they find themselves angry at God. However, if you engage the heartache and pain of your story, there will inevitably be times where you are angry at God. Sooner or later, if you are emotionally honest, you will find yourself angry at your Creator.

Have you ever just poured out your anger, before editing your words? The Bible, in multiple places and especially the book of Job, invites us to do exactly this because when we finally express our unedited anger fully to God, he is able to address our hearts.

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8 When Your Story of Sexual Abuse Is Not Believed May 28, 2018

Show notes

In today's episode, I have a very honest and vulnerable conversation with Robyn about sexual abuse. We talk candidly about how our bodies respond with arousal even when there is profound violation occurring. Robyn tells the story of confronting her family about the abuse and not being believed. She then shares how her posture toward the 13 year old girl has changed over the years and what prompted that change. It's a beautiful conversation.

Contact me at adamyoung4@gmail.com

My website: adamyoungcounseling.com Support the podcast

7 How Your Attachment Style Affects The Way You Relate To Other People May 21, 2018

Show notes

If you want to understand your relationships, you need to understand your attachment style. In this episode, I explain the three types of insecure attachment and discuss how you can identify your own attachment style. My website: adamyoungcounseling.com Contact me at: adamyoung4@gmail.com

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6 When Your Femininity Is Assaulted with Tracy May 14, 2018

Show notes

In today's episode, Tracy courageously shares one of her stories with us. Born to a family longing for a boy, the war against her femininity began early. Tracy learned that attention with her father could be won by performing well in sports, dressing in boys' clothings, and wearing her hair short. One day, in an effort to belong with other sixth-grade girls, she wore a dress to school. The reaction of her peers deepened her desire to stay away from dresses and femininity. She made a commitment that day not to wear dresses ever again. Listen as Tracy discusses this story in the context of her life as a professional golfer, how she's learned to look at her younger self with kindness and compassion, and how God playfully invited her into redemption with an unexpected challenge to wear dresses for the entire month of December. My website: adamyoungcounseling.com Contact me at: adamyoung4@gmail.com

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5 Attachment: What It Is and Why It Matters So Much May 07, 2018

Show notes

The way you attached to your primary caregiver shaped your brain more than anything else. Attachment refers to the manner in which you connect with others. It's the emotional bond that you develop with the people you are closest to—the people who are there for you and who truly know you. We are biologically driven to attach to others in order to survive. When we perceive threat or danger, we are hard-wired to maintain proximity to someone who will be there for us, and who truly knows us. In this episode, I give an overview of attachment—what it is and why it matters so much to your day-to-day life.

My website: adamyoungcounseling.comContact me at adamyoung4@gmail.com.

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4 The Trauma of Being Unprotected with Gary Apr 29, 2018

Show notes

Gary began engaging his story in a deep way when he was in his 50's. In this episode, Gary shares a story of being humiliated by his elementary school teacher with his Mom standing right next to him. It is a story of mockery, but far more a story of being unprotected by his mother. Gary discusses his journey of finding kindness, and even awe, for himself as a boy.

My website: adamyoungcounseling.comContact me at adamyoung4@gmail.com.

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3 The Trauma of School Shaming with Mandy Apr 20, 2018

Show notes

Mandy talks about how and why she began to engage her story. And then she reads a story from her own life… a story about being bullied in elementary school—a story that had a major impact on how she began to see herself and relate to those around her.

Mandy talks about the necessity of finding words for the harm that one has experienced and the importance of bringing one's pain to God.

She goes on to explain how she needed the help of another person to fully engage her own story. In other words, you can't find yourself by yourself. It's The Place WE Find Ourselves. It's always "we" not "I."

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2 Why Your Family of Origin Impacts Your Life More Than Anything Else Apr 17, 2018

Show notes

Your story started with your relationship with your parents. Every child needs 6 things from his or her parents. In this episode, I discuss these "Big Six" needs. I also explain two kinds of relational styles that result from being either dismissed by your parents or being asked to be a parent rather than a child.

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