Stay ConnectedAn award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.
‘The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode – a must listen for football fans’ – The Guardian
‘Ultra-sharp satire’ – GQ
This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
It's the first Premier League win of the season for Ashwood City and it comes on the road at West Ham. For Patrick, Woody and Jess the celebrations are on hold as matchday goalscorer and prized asset Kyle Francis-Clarke has gone AWOL in London following the unexpected victory.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Additional Voices:
Lucy-Jane Quinlan
Thomas Mitchells
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Europa League campaign kicks off in Rome, as Ashwood City take on AS Roma in their opening group game. Tensions with Kieran Broom continue to worsen as the side face a difficult challenge away from home.
Esmonde Cole as KFC
Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit
Adam Jarrell as Chris Well
Additional Voices:
Nalan Burgess
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The International break is over and Premier League football returns to Dartley Park as Ashwood City take on league leaders; Liverpool. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan has his work cut out to repair his relationships and reputation after the decision to relinquish the captaincy from Kieran Broom.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional Voices:
Rhys Tees
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The club react to the sad news that Ashwood legend Gerry Harkness has passed away. Meanwhile, Patrick's dubious financial endeavours are beginning to catch up with him as local journalist Gareth McAskill is tipped off.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Additional Voices:
Nalan Burgess
Rhys Tees
Vanessa Emery
Lucinda Shaw
Luke Stevenson
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Following a home defeat to Wolves, Patrick and Woody find themselves waiting outside new Head Coach Eric Van Smit's office. With no confidence and no signal - the pair must formulate a plan to let the Head Coach know exactly how they feel about Ashwood's torrid start to the season.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger
Additional Voices:
Lucinda Shaw
Luke Stevenson
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
After a disappointing draw with newly-promoted Sheffield United, the Ashwood City fans want answers. The Club's hierarchy, however, have other issues to attend to. An unfortunate traffic jam only adds to the problems of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Additional Voices:
Thomas Mitchells
Esmonde Cole
Lucinda Shaw
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood kick off their season away to Burnley and immediately face consequences from the result. With weeks of excessive spending behind him; Patrick is desperate to fix any squad issues before the next matchday.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger
Additional Voices:
Nalan Burgess
Thomas Mitchells
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
After a summer of discontent, another managerial sacking and a few (mostly Dutch) signings, the new season is almost underway.
With the initial difficulties of the transfer window, Ashwood's troubles deepen after the release of an indecent image allegedly picturing a member of the playing staff.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Additional Voices:
Allon Sylvain
John Brannoch
Rhys Tees
Nalan Burgess
Thomas Mitchells
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The game is underway. The only thing standing between Ashwood City and Europa League football is Fulham FC. Woody is still nowhere to be seen as the tentative first half draws to a close.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Additional voices:
Lucinda Shaw
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
This is a Primley Limited Production.
Copyright 2019
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The takeover is under threat with an unexpected victory at Leicester City. With other league results in their favour, Ashwood find themselves in 7th and currently qualifying for the UEFA Europa League; which would cancel the sale due to the current ownership's stipulations on European football. Patrick Nolan is left to find a way to ensure the deal goes through and the chances of finishing 7th are quashed.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis
Elliot Gindi as Mohamed Al-Zawi
Additional voices:
Nalan Burgess
Lucinda Shaw
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
This is a Primley Limited Production.
Copyright 2019
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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