Stay ConnectedAn award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.
‘The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode – a must listen for football fans’ – The Guardian
‘Ultra-sharp satire’ – GQ
This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood City are concluding a brief warm weather training session in Saudi Arabia ahead of the next Premier League matchweek. With a player revolt behind them; Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall are looking for the remaining conspirators.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Nalan Burgess as Claudia Seymour
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Ashwood City hierarchy enter contract talks with former club captain Kieran Broom. After scoring the winner at the weekend away to Newcastle United, the Midfielder believes he holds all the aces as he attempts to orchestrate a potential return of the prodigal son, Dan Watson. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan on the other hand, has different ideas.
* The Offensive will return on 24.11.19, after the International Break
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Joel Emery as Dan Watson
Additional Voices:
Acushla-Tara Kupe
Lynnette Shaw
John Brannoch
Lucinda Shaw
Thomas Mitchells
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
An emphatic home defeat to Manchester City has prompted an emergency Monday morning training session ahead of the Europa League home game v Roma... But a few senior players have other plans.
Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit
Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger
Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson
Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom
Joel Emery as Dan Watson
Directed by:
Joel Emery & Paul Waggott
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited --
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood City are playing host to the Champions; Manchester City on their final home Premier League game before Remembrance Day. A recent faux-pas by Patrick Nolan has prompted the Chief-Executive to keep a low profile on the matchday.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
It's the opening of the Ashwood City Museum. During preparations for the unveiling; Patrick, Jess and Woody explore the not-so-glorious past of the club. As Patrick prepares a speech to the press, things go from bad to worse.
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood City are in Baku, Azerbaijan following their fixture with Qarabag FK in the UEFA Europa League. With an early flight back to the UK the next day, the players are expected to get some much needed rest and recovery in the hotel.
Esmonde Cole as KFC
Adam Jarrell as Chris Well
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Premier League has returned from the international break and Ashwood City face Brighton at Dartley Park. With hastily made plans to find a sponsor for the former Gerry Harkness stand; the club face fierce protests and a possible boycott of the game.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Additional voices:
Luke Stevenson
Joel Emery
Lucinda Shaw
Alex Marshall
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited--
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood City take on Tottenham Hotspur in the Premier League at the newly developed Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Patrick and Woody are admiring not only the new stadium belonging to the North London club; but also one of their centre-backs.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Two Ashwood Managers, old and new face very different challenges as European football grips the continent yet again. For Ashwood City it's the Europa League and they play host to Rangers, while Valencia are at home to Ajax in the Champions League.
Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit
Joel Emery as Dan Watson
Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber
Adam Jarrell as Chris Well
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Pressure is mounting on Patrick as financial conduct, club form and dressing room turmoil are all catching up with him, he pays a visit to the club doctor to seek some medical assistance.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber
Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger
Additional voices: Luke Stevenson
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell & Paul Waggott
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Our TOPPODCAST Picks 
