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The Overwhelm of Making Holiday Magic Dec 01, 2023

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The Overwhelm of Making Holiday Magic Holiday MagicRosie: [00:00:00] have a more festive, sweater on, but it was too hot, so I'm wearing, I was gonna be festive on top and then I'm literally wearing shorts on the bottom 'cause it's 72 degrees. Welcome to the Moms for Social Justice podcast, where we talk about how you can make your community a more awesome place. This episode is about holiday overwhelm, and how it often falls to women to create the magic of the season, on top of everything else we already have to do. This imbalance in the distribution of household labor and care tasks can prevent women and mothers from engaging in projects that fuel them, like crafting something really cool, or volunteering for a cause that they're passionate about.Mari, Taylor, and I talk about how our own parents did or did not split up these tasks and our own struggles in finding a balance in this holiday season with our partners. We also chat about how to establish standards with partners and family so that everyone, including us, has more time for holiday magic.We hope [00:01:00] you enjoy this episode!Rosie: . Welcome to the Moms for Social Justice podcast. Um, we are some of the moms for social justice. There's three of us, all three of us today. Moms for Social Justice is a progressive grassroots organization located in Chattanooga, Tennessee.And we work to empower parents to fight for social justice and change in their own backyard. Um, so yeah, we, today we have Mari and Taylor. And, and me. I'm Rosie. Um,and today we're gonna be talking about holiday overwhelm and the, mental load, the distribution of household labor around the holidays, all that stuff.But before we get into that, um, we're just, we're just gonna talk about what's on our, on our heart. So, um, Mari, do you wanna go first? What's on your heart?mari_1_11-17-2023_123740: Let's see.Rosie: What's in your lungs?Mari: Phlegm. [00:02:00] Phlegm is in my lungs. Yes. Just uh, getting over, Taylor: such a gross word.Mari: isn't it? I kind of love it. It's like on a mono poetic, right? It's like,Rosie: Oh yeah.It sounds gross. . 'cause it is gross.Mari: Anyway, um, I have that, I have phlegm from Covid. Uh, the whole fam has it. We're we're on the men though. Um, Rosie: We had that last Christmas. Speaking of like holidays Mari: yes, this is the fourth time Covid has hit our house. Uh,Taylor: Ugh.Mari: first time it was just one of us. Then the second time it was three of us. Then the third time it was two of us. This time it was three of us. It's a lot. Um, anyway, but I think the biggest thing on my heart is just being super thankful for the vaccine. And I had just gotten the, the newest booster in early October, and I really think that is why I'm feeling so much better. And, Rosie: Mm-Hmm.Mari: uh, you know, I'm just, I'm just very [00:03:00] thankful for science and I feel like, Taylor: But Mari,if you got the vaccine, you shouldn't have gotten Covid.Mari: Well,Taylor: Isn't that how that works?Mari: I think that's how that works.Rosie: Same with the flu Mari: But I, I did get Covid and I got a chip in my arm, so now I'm being tracked because my phone wasn't enough. They didn't know that I was into art supplies and liked fantasy romance books. Taylor: from Mars?Mari: the company or the, or theTaylor: You want M andmss? Mari: I do,Rosie: also. Yes.Mari: dark chocolate Peanut M and mss Plug there. Yes. Anyway, I'm just super thankful. It's, it's a, a quick, easy thing, but I just feel like, you know, just a reminder that Covid is still around and that if you haven't gotten the booster and you're able to, please do because it, it helped me out a whole bunch.Rosie: Yes. And it'll protect the more vulnerable members of your family, especially as we're like going around andMari: Mm-Hmm. Rosie: and sneezing on [00:04:00] food and stuff.Taylor: Yeah.Rosie: I mean, not Mari: Hug food. Taylor: Double dipping in themac and cheese.Rosie: I'm glad you're feeling better, Mari: Thank you. And I will be glad, uh, like we've all been home for the entirety of this week and so that wholeRosie: time to go somewhere.Mari: they, they went out the window on day one. Soall of our brains are mush.Rosie: Time.It's nice outside. So, you know, shove 'em out there. Taylor: Yeah. I am glad that you guys are coming on off the other side of that friendand you.look real cute, so we can tell you're feeling better.Mari: Thank you. Rosie: haircut.Mari: I do have a good haircut. That's the only thing that made this whole week bearable, was the cute haircut.Rosie: That's right.Mari: studiosRosie: Not sponsored, but also sponsored.Um, all right, so Taylor, what's on your heart?Taylor: You know, I have found that, you know, the, and I know I'm not alone here, the state of the world is just so incredibly overwhelming and heartbreaking that [00:05:00] I have found that I needed to take, you know, sort of mental Breaks,Rosie: Yes.Taylor: and I thought that's what I was doing when I tuned into, I mean, it's the number one show on Netflix right now. I think, uh, it's a docuseries about the internet cult twin Flameuniverse. Rosie: Whoa.Taylor: Have you guysRosie: No, I never watch,Taylor: about this? Rosie: never watch documentaries on Netflix, so maybe I should I just listen to podcasts?it. It sounds in very intriguing. I mean, all the cult stuff is like, yeah. Very intriguing.Taylor: it's fascinating. Uh, I This is a whole other conversation how I feel like a lot of our, you know, mainstream religious culture in America is cult-like think and cult-like behavior that we have justnormalized. So we don't recognize it as that anymore. So it's interesting when they, um, highlight fringe cults because we have this collective, like that's so crazy that they believe that when youstop to think about it, there are a lot of really [00:06:00] extreme beliefs that are just normalized. Um, but this one was a really Wild ride because it's a, a relatively, um, new cult that started in the pandemic. And so I thoughtRosie: Whoa.Taylor: interesting that spoke to, and, and almost, um, exclusively online. So it spoke to number one, like the isolation that we all felt,Rosie: mm-Hmm.Taylor: in that, and particularly people who were alone going through, um, lockdown on their own, you know, sought these places online for, um, community and belonging and a sense of connection. And that can put you in a really vulnerable place where you can be sucked into something and then before you know it, you are thinking, um, really radical and extreme ideology and paying lots and lots and lots of money to peoplewho have zero credentials and unwarranted bravado and calling [00:07:00] themselves the master Christ. So anyway, it, uh, it was a really interesting watch, but also a really scary watch. And, um, it was what my brain needed to, you know, freak out about something else unrelated. So a highly recommended watch if you just wanna get real mad at average white boys, uh, taking lotsof Rosie: that every day.I do that every day.Mari: morning average white boy, anger meditation,Rosie: what shall I watch today? I've been watching the blue-Eyed Samurai on Netflix, so if you need something, it's like kill bill meets Mari: Ooh. Rosie: Um, it's really, really good. Also a very, not for children, I'd say animated very not for children, but anyway,Taylor: notedRosie: recommended if you need more of an escape. Um, although it's very violent. Like we can, oh, I can watch the cartoon violence and it's fine, but, dealing with the, like social media violence is like too much for [00:08:00] me.Mari: Ooh.Rosie: Agreed. It's good to take a break from that stuff.Mari: Yeah. It's hard to walk that line of like preserving our mental health, but staying informed. Rosie: SureMari: And I think that's just been like a very, difficult thing to do really since, I don't know, even before 2016, really, just with the internet and with social media, it's just very hard. It's like you're either all in it and immersed in Feeling helpless and paralyzed, or every time something comes up, you just scroll because you can't, you can't deal with it In that moment. It's, yeah,Rosie: well, the, the Washington Post released images of, uh, very graphic images of basically what an AR 15 could, can do, um, images, the aftermath of these mass shootings, Inc. Including, you know, some of these school shootings that we've, that we've seen after the bodies I think had been removed other than the Las Vegas.Uh, seen and it's like [00:09:00] we're not necessarily the people that need to be seeing this , you know, like it's the, the people that are in power and the people that are advocating for keeping these guns, in, in our state and our nation, keeping them active that really need to see them. But, it's hard to balance of like, when do I need to like witness and understand versus when do I need to protectmy own mental health?What, is it gonna be beneficial to me or not? Yeah. That's Mari: what is on your heart, Rosie?Rosie: Oh, um, I, this week I have finished listening to all 500 albums on the Rolling Stones, 500 greatest albums of all time. It Mari: Oh my gosh. Rosie: all year,Mari: is a Rosie: was really fun.Mari: It's been fun going on this journey with you sometimes in your car to various placesRosie: Yeah. Mari: hearing some of these Rosie: Stevie Wonder album. Yeah.Taylor: That's Rosie: Um,Mari: itRosie: yeah, I, I think it was, it was, it was fun and like I definitely have the privilege of a job [00:10:00] where I am moving squares and lines on a computer screen so that part of my brain can do that while my other part of the brain can like listen to song lyrics or podcasts or whatever.Um, 'cause you know, the other, that's a lot of time to, so I'm, I'm curious what my Spotify rap is gonna look like at the end of the year. And then also just thinking about like, well, what challenge am I gonna do next? And my husband was like, well, you don't have to do a challenge. I'm like, yeah, I do.What is my purpose? What is my, what do I, why do I exist in life if I don't have a challenge? Um, so yeah, I'm like, I'm weighing my, my options there. I can't do like two things, like watch a movie and design stuff that require, requires my eyeballs.So, One, one of my favorite albums that I thought was, so, I just loved the concept of, and I just wanna share it with everybody. It's a Ray Charles album from 1962, and it is called Modern Sounds in Country Western Music. And he put this album together because at the time there [00:11:00] were black records and there were white records and never the two shall cross.Um, so what he did is he took classic white country songs, dressed them up, took them to the orchestra, and played the shit out of them. And, um, they're amazing. Their arrangements are amazing. The instrumentation is amazing. His singing is amazing. I love that album and I love the concept behind it too. I thought it was so cool.Um, so anyway, check that album out. That's one that you can pull from the list that I thought was great. I mean, there's so many that great.Taylor: cool. I'm totally gonna dothat. Mari: too.Rosie: Okay, so we're gonna be getting into our topic, which is about the overwhelm of the holiday season and just how so much of this domestic labor and emotional labor falls on women, in, in households. And just, I'm just curious, like, what was it like when you guys were kids? What were the holidays like?What did you see your parents doing or [00:12:00] not doing? Mari: Most of the holiday magic did fall to my mom. In fact, a lot of times my dad would, uh, would not be home on Christmas Eve. That's when wedo like opening all of our gifts and stuff, because that's just our tradition. And every other year he would have to work and be on call. He had a cabin rental business and they went aboveand beyond. So if someone couldn't get to their cabin because of snow, my dad literally drove them. So Rosie: I imagine a lot of people are like renting cabins for, you know, Christmas, get together or Mari: yes, lots of people in Gatlinburg. Uh, so yeah, a lot of it fell to my mom. But it was being just me, you know, as an only child, like my mom and I, as I got older, we, she and I would really get into decorating together. We'd have so much fun. We would be making things for the theme that year. You know, we had, we really enjoyed that. Uh, but you know, as far as like. You know, all the piano [00:13:00] recitals and, and the, singing in church. Yes, I did that. mY, you know, she would be taking me to all the things, you know, if my, my dad was in the mood, he would go to church and listen, which, you know, now being how I feel about things, I would've never been in the mood to go to church, butRosie: He's like, I believe in Jesus today, but I don't know about Mari: Every other day. No, not so much. Um, yeah, so it was mostly my mom. I don't really remember the holidays being too crazy hectic because I didn't have a very big family. It was just my great aunt that would come stay with us from New York City. She would come for like a month. I have amazing memories of it, but I, I do know that, like thinking back and doing it for my own family, I'm like, oh yeah, that was all my mom. , now my dad definitely took over all of the food.Rosie: Hmm.Mari: that was nice. You know, as far as like what we were gonna have for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas morning breakfast and, and all that stuff. [00:14:00] He would, you know, buy all the stuff, play on the menu, make it, it would be delicious. And we just kind of showed up.So I know that's a little bit different. Um, 'cause usually that falls Yeah. Kinda wish that was still the case. Rosie: And you guys don't have a theme every Christmas.Mari: sometimesTaylor: love that. Mari: we would yes,Taylor: Give us a couple of themes, Mari.Mari: One was the secret garden.Rosie: What? Taylor: Stop it. Rosie: cool,Mari: We like collected, um, like chi, like China teacups and stuff from like different thrift stores. And we would incorporate the, I don't know, we were a little extra. Um, one year we did like all Taylor: can't tell that at all about you as an adult. I, I'm, it's Rosie: I know. I love that. I'm leading this podcast with two Christmas queens, soMari: Yeah,Rosie: I feel like I should Mari: atheist Christmas queens,Rosie: leading it. Yeah,Mari: Yes. I know. It's, it is funny. But yeah. Um, we, we went all in one year. We did like a crystal, but like [00:15:00] from old chandeliers, likeRosie: Wow.So you would decorate your trees like this, or like all throughout?Mari: all throughout theRosie: Wow.Mari: We really only had one treeRosie: But that sounds so Mari: I have graduated to having like five.But Rosie: Yeah. Exact Christmas queen,. No, but I think that sounds fun. Especially knowing like your dad, he sounded like super busy during that time, so it was a lot of one-on-one time with you and your mom, and so that's cool that you guys were able to like build those memories together.Um, Taylor, what about you?Taylor: Well, uh, I do come from a very big family. So our holidays, uh, what I remember, were just incredibly chaotic. Lots of children running around. Um, lots of grown men screaming at the television, watching football,, throwing furniture. I'm kidding. I mean, sometimes,Rosie: ExtremeTaylor: But it, there was a definite gender divisi…

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How Hope Community Fridge Feeds the Community with Chaney Lanham Nov 17, 2023

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When a Loved One Takes Their Life Nov 03, 2023

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When a Loved One Takes Their Life The Moms for Social Justice Podcast Transcript:Ep 4 // When a Loved One Takes Their Life[00:00:00] This is the Moms for Social Justice podcast, where we talk about how you can make your community a more awesome place. In this episode, Taylor and I discuss a very heavy but important topic, depression and suicide. We both have our own experiences with this, and we wanted to bring this into the light in hopes that it will encourage discourse and help others feel more comfortable addressing these issues with their own loved ones.Before we start the episode, I just need to remind everyone that neither Taylor nor I are mental health or medical professionals. If you or a loved one is dealing with depression or suicidal ideation, please seek professional help. We want you here. We'll provide some resources in the notes along with the episode.Um, I just want to thank Taylor for sharing her experience and our awesome MSJ community for sharing all of theirs. Let's start the episode.[00:01:00] Rosie: welcome to the Moms for Social Justice Podcast. Um, today, uh, Taylor and I, it's just the two of us. We're gonna be having an intimate conversation about depression and suicide. So big trigger warning, um, at the top of this episode.And if you feel like it's not right for you to listen right now, that's okay. Um, we are here for you and we love you. We are Moms for Social Justice. We're a progressive grassroots organization located in Chattanooga, and we work to help and empower parents to fight for social change in their own backyard.Taylor, do you wanna talk about what's on your heart and mind right now before we get into this deep topic? It's like, it's so heavy, Taylor: and yeah, you know, I wish what was on my heart and mind [00:02:00] was a little bit lighter given the topic that we're about to delve into. But I'm just, I'm going to be transparent about what, what is really at the forefront of my heart and mind. And that's just, you know, the state of the world.Rosie: Hmm.Taylor: you know, it's hard to go about our daily tasks knowing that, you know, on the other side of, of the world, , there is just this, this humanitarian crisis.And Again, this is one of those topics that it's hard to talk about and it's, you know, it's tricky and nuanced and we, sometimes avoid those conversations because we don't quite know exactly what to say or even understand the complexity of, of the history and what's happening. And it's not important to know or be an expert in matters of foreign policy.You can still care about the suffering of, of innocentRosie: Mm-Hmm. Taylor: On either [00:03:00] side of, of, you know, respective, uh, borders. And that really is what's on my heart right now when I tuck my, you know, kids in at night is I'm so grateful that they are healthy and they are safe and my heart just is broken for the moms, uh, around. The world who do not have that safety when they are putting their kids to bed at night.Rosie: The Daily, the New York Times podcast, uh, released, voices from Gaza episode and you could hear missiles blasting in the background of these conversations. And people are just huddling and trying to survive and, it feels, I don't know, you don't wanna be a keyboard warrior. There's like not much else that you can, that you can do other than, staying vigilant. I think it's important to be a witness [00:04:00] to historic moments like this so that you can recognize when people are being denied peace and happiness in your own area and what you can do to remove obstacles for people. Taylor: Yeah, I mean, that's the sad thing about war is it's often, you know, the innocent, um, often women and children who bear the brunt of it, uh, and, and have no responsibility in the conflict at all. , for those of us here, Rosie, you know, what you were, what you were saying, it's hard to know what to do.You know, we could spend our time on social media, you know, debating the ins and outs of all of these things. And that, is defeating and in some ways, um, really debilitating to our mental health. And I saw something yesterday that really spoke to me that if you, um, find yourself feeling Just really helpless and overwhelmed by the state of the world. You're not, you're not [00:05:00] alone. There's a, there's a term for that. It's called empathy distress.Rosie: Okay.Taylor: Yeah. It's something, you know, that's very real for those of us who have, , empathetic hearts. And I think that often, we as mothers identify with, with having a lot of empathy for, you know, the people around us. it's important to recognize when you're feeling that way, when you're feeling hopeless and, and overwhelmed about things happening that are outside of your realm of control. To take a step back, pull those in your inner circle, close, um, and take care of your heart and your mind, because you are not going to be, uh, any help to anyone if your mental and emotional health isn't a serious state of decline.Rosie: It feels like we, you know, it, it's a, it's a difficult space for us to try to, to navigate or like to have a say, but as mothers we can say that like, this is not okay on, on either side for innocent people to be, be [00:06:00] losing their lives.So, um, yeah, it's, it's really heavy. But yeah, I think that's, that's a great point. Uh, uh, you said it was empathy distress.Taylor: Yeah. Empathy, distress. Rosie: hadn't, heard of that before, but, um, yeah, that's, Taylor: it was empathetic distress.Rosie: Empathetic Taylor: to look Rosie: distress. Yeah. . No, that's, that's good. Good to know and good to know, like your own limits and when you need to step, step back from that.Taylor: And whatabout you, Rosie? What's on your heart right now?Rosie: okay. So it's like totally the opposite direction, but somewhat, maybe, somewhat related. I'm going camping this weekend. My, uh, daughter is a cub scout and so it's their like. Cub Scout camp out weekend. Um, our Cub Scout area council, they own a property, , about two hours away. So that's where this is taking place.And I did it last year. It was my first time ever camping and I brought both kids with me because I was like , I'll give my husband a weekend away, um, by himself and [00:07:00] I'll take the kids camping and we'll have a great time. I did not know, I did not know . There's so Taylor: know what you don't know. Rosie Rosie: what, I dunno.It's so many people. There's, it's like, it's not just a, our little pack, it's like all of the packs that are part of the area. So it's a ton of people. And they have like different campsites on the property. So like, your pack is assigned a campsite. So like we get signed in my son is screaming his head off.I'm trying to like, set up the, the, the tent. It's night. I, like, I have my headlamp on, you know, like I stick him by the fire with some strangers and I'm like, hang on, can you hang out with my son while I get this set up? Yeah. I frantically get that all set up. and then we get everybody in bed and I'm laying next to him and I realize that he has a fever and like we're sharing it's lights out.At this point we're sharing this campsite with like strangers you could only bring one vehicle back to the campsite at a time. So my car is like half [00:08:00] an hour away through the woods in the dark and I barely, like, I have no idea how to get there. Taylor: I am so stressed listening to youRosie: I knowTaylor: story,Rosie: so I'm like, well, we're gonna have to leave.But it would feel really weird to like, bring my van in the middle of this campsite while people are like trying to sleep. So I'm like, well, we'll just, he's asleep. My daughter's asleep. I'll just try to get some sleep. I was freezing. He was burn, like burning up next to me. My daughter slept great. I slept for like two hours.I could hear coyotes, like I was just so cold and so uncomfortable. Like, I don't, I had a tent and I had like an air mattress and I brought some blankets, you know? I was like, oh, it'll be fine. It wasn't fine. It was not fine. Um, so anyway.Taylor: I don't mean to laugh at yourself, Frank.Rosie: No, please, please laugh at it. Um, so I sleep from like two 30 to four 30.I wake up at four 30. I, like, I bundle up and I am literally just standing in [00:09:00] the tent for an hour, waiting for either my son to wake up or for there to be like some light, some sunrise.So five 30 rolls around. It's still dark, but my son wakes up and he's like, I don't feel good. And I'm like, I know. So we have to walk over to like the med area and get him evaluated and, and okay, yes, he has a fever, so we're leaving just like, because they have to, you know, keep a account of everybody who's there.and so then, yeah, my daughter wakes up and she's ready for her first full day of like Cub Scout camp. And I'm like,sorry, Taylor: worst. Rosie: we're leavingTaylor: Oh,Rosie: She was so mad at me. She was so mad at her brother. So anyway, I have like all. Not, I know pe I people actually suffer from PTSD, so I don't wanna like diminish that at all.But I feel so stressed going into this camping trip,Taylor: I can imagine.Rosie: luckily this time it's just me and her. We're not gonna bring my son. And, um, [00:10:00] my, uh, shout out to my friend Leslie and her husband. Um, they have loaned me like warm sleeping pads and insulated sleeping pads. So I will not be free freezing tonight, hopefully.And hopefully I will sleep more than two hours. And it's two nights of camping, so it's, it's Friday night and Saturday night. Um, I'm supposed to be like 40 degrees tonight.Taylor: I am wishing you all the good camping energy.Rosie: I'm so stressed about this thing. But then there's this other thing happening in the world right now that is so major and so many people are suffering like this. This'll be fine. Like, I'll be fine. Like worst case scenario, I don't sleep or whatever, and we have to leave.And my daughter has another, you know, horrible camping experience and she can blame me for it, but like, that's the worst, right? Um,Taylor: Those are the core memories that you carry with you into adulthood.Rosie: remember when,Taylor: It's, it's funny because one of my strongest memories of my dad growing up was my, uh, girl Scout camp out. [00:11:00] Where he was, you know, helping, helping out with the big, the group camp out. And he thought it would be a great idea to tell a bunch of seven year old girlsthe story of the Hitless horsemenRosie: no.Taylor: in the middle of the woods then, and then proceeded to get up late at night and start making the sound of horse hoves.Rosie: Oh my God. What a fantastic yet horrible memory.Taylor: Yes. Well, I mean, it ended in disaster.Everyone was screaming. Rosie: oh, no.Taylor: We all ended up going homeearly the next morning. It was, it was a lot of traumatized little girls and, you know, my dad had to live with that, um, that little nugget for the rest of his life.Rosie: Oh my gosh. . It's like one of those things that you think is gonna be a great idea as a parent, and then you realize actuallyTaylor: No. Rosie: it's not.Taylor: How do I walk thisback? Rosie: yeah. Yeah. You can't, you Taylor: you can't.Rosie: you just have to like say you're sorry,[00:12:00] . That's, that's what my focus is right now. I've like rolled up our tent. I've like packed away our sleeping bags and stuff, so, um, as soon as she gets home from school, we're gonna leave.But Taylor: I have a good feeling. I have a good feelingfor you. Rosie: be better. Taylor: And if it's not fine, then you'll have wonderful stories to tell us.Rosie: remembernext time? Yeah.Taylor: Mm-Hmm?Rosie: All right, so we're gonna get into our topic now. Um, October is depression awareness month, which makes sense. Those a lot of people suffer from seasonal, depression. And as we get into the winter months, uh, Taylor, you and I both have personal experience with suicide and with depression.I wonder, do you wanna talk about your experience first?Taylor: I was just telling that story about my dad and, I was wondering going into this episode, how I was going to be able to handle this conversation and, [00:13:00] and. Really, if emotionally and mentally I could get through it and, you know, I'm gonna do my best. Um,my Rosie: might cry. It's okay,Taylor: it's okay. I have a feeling that's gonna be kind of a, a running theme in this podcast. Lots of tears from the moms and that's okay.Rosie: That's okay. We Taylor: big feelings.back in May, my father ended his life. It was very unexpected, which I have found out, you know, in the months afterwards that that's not unusual.Rosie: Mm-Hmm.Taylor: That a lot of times there, there are no major, uh, warning signs or, talk about self-harm.So it really did come out of nowhere from the outside perspective. And there was also no explanation. I, uh, have come to understand that that is the norm, rather than what you think is that you get this lengthy, you know,explanation or Note [00:14:00] or Yeah.Some kind of message as to why the decision was made.Um, it's more often that there is no explanation because often, um, that decision is made in a, in a really crisis moment.Um, it's not, it's not often thought out and premeditated.Rosie: Yes. I think, um, someone, we asked this question in our community about people's experience with depression and suicide and, and someone who also lost her father to suicide. She talked about it, you know, like how people can have a stroke or a heart attack. This is like a brain attack for a lot of people.And I thought that was, that made it very, like, understandable to me. That feltlike a, a good, uh, verbiage for that. What, what's happening.Taylor: Yeah. And f you know, for whatever reason that the knowledge that that was, the case for him, that it was, a momentary crisis that he just could not see his way out of that was [00:15:00] somehow easier for me to wrap my head around than, um, than the idea that he was, you know, in this really lengthy and. extended amount of, of personal and mental pain. and everyone's situation is different, but, for my father, it really did seem to be just a, a very difficult moment that he could not see his way out of. I'm, I'm still very much in the early stages of grief and, you know, when you are grieving someone who has died by suicide, that's a very complicated grief. There are, there are lots of feelings that are, there's a lot of shame around the topic of suicide.Rosie: Yes.Taylor: People don't wanna talk about it. I've really tried to be transparent about, you know, what happened to my dad and what I am experiencing as, you know, the daughter of someone who died that [00:16:00] way. It, it's because it is such a, a pervasive issue that is exploding. have to talk about it.Rosie: Yes. 100%. Yeah, because it used to be. Back in like edu Edwardian or Victorian Times, if you had a family who had died by suicide, like that was a black mark on your entire family. And like, you know, if you're a young woman, you might not be able to get married because there was someone in your family who did that.Taylor: I. Rosie: your point, by sweeping it under the rug, by not talking about it, by keeping it quiet, like we can't fix any problems that we…

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Are School Dress Codes Helpful or Harmful? Oct 20, 2023

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Are School Dress Codes Helpful or Harmful? The Moms for Social Justice Podcast // Transcript //Ep 03 Dress Codes[00:00:00] Mari: Yeah, I feel like I have a littleRosie: frog in yourMari: frog. Freaky frogRosie: but we like frogs, so that's cool.Mari: It's true. I love frogs.Taylor: What's the, the MILF sticker?Mari: Milk I love frogs.Welcome to the Moms for Social Justice podcast, where we talk about how you can make your community a more awesome place. In this episode, Mari leads us in a conversation about dress codes in schools. We discuss our own experiences with dress codes when we were kids and with our own children and how dress codes make kids feel ashamed or embarrassed of their own bodies, their culture or gender identity.Or, how they can work to safeguard a positive learning environment and make students feel accepted. We hope you enjoy this episode!Mari: Hello. M SS J. We're back [00:01:00] with the Moms for Social Justice podcast, you may notice something a little different. we look more professional, more put together?Rosie: we soundMari: Oh, right. don't know. I think we look more professional.I also didn't have to worry about what my hair looked like this episode, so I like that.Taylor: Yeah, we got fancy new headphones and, and mics.Mari: do match. We need it to match. WeRosie: cute.Mari: We'reTaylor: we just take a moment and appreciate how cute we are? Rosie, I love your shirt today.Mari: I know. It's adorable.Rosie: I got a, at the like thrift consignment store. I'm on the hunt for more Hawaiian shirts. The problemusually they're for men, so they're huge. And IMari: Right.Rosie: So, um, you know, if I did so I couldn't make cute ones myself.Taylor: Yeah. If you're listening and not watching, Rosie has on a very colorful tropical shirt, which is, you know, not really fall themed, but we're hanging on to the last, [00:02:00] uh, bit of summer because it's still 85 degrees during the day, so that's okay.Rosie: week.Taylor: And Mari, what does your shirt say?Mari: My shirt says public schools, and it is from an awesome local organization called Unify Ed that is working to make our public schools here in Chattanooga more equitable.Rosie: I with that. I agree with Billy. We should not fund public schools and we should not accept billions of dollars from the federal government.Mari: Well,kicked outta the podcast, Rosie. It's been nice. Your shirt added a certain but GoodbyeTaylor: outMari: You the weakest link. That is, that is a throwback. Gen Z will be like, what are they, what are they talking about?Taylor: That's okay.Mari: We are the Chattanooga Moms for Social Justice, a progressive grassroots organization based here in Chattanooga, Tennessee. uh, our goal is to encourage parents to fight for social change right in their own backyard. And [00:03:00] we do that, I guess we could say every day. We, we try to do it every day and we've been at it for six years, which is really hard to, hard to believe. So we like to start out our podcast with a little check-in and, uh, finding out what is on our hearts. then we'll kind of dive into our topic, which today is dun dun, dun dress codes.Taylor: We don't talk about dress codes. No. Uh, we are gonna talk about dress codes. Sorry. Mari: code but a of don't wanna talk about it. Uh, yeah. So Rosie, what is on your heart?Rosie: Um, okay. Very exciting. There's a lot of like, art challenges in October, and I have a lot of, I want to do them in theory, but I'm really busy, so I decided to do my own challenge, and if anybody else wants to join, let me know. Follow me on Instagram, Rosie Fitzgerald. Um, I'm doing a challenge called Rest Sober [00:04:00] where you write out your, like sleep routine, like your night routine for good sleep hygiene.So like mine is, I take a bath, I, I, uh, turn off screens at 10 30. I've installed like an app blocker, so I can't access social media because I've found, like, I'll go to my phone and say, oh, wait, I can't do that. I journal and um, I have to be in bed by 11 and then hopefully asleep by 1130. Usually I read in bed. The idea is that hopefully I will fall asleep faster and get better quality sleep and just more sleep. Um, and then the other part is to choose something every day that is either energizing or that you restful. Whether maybe it's like a 20 minute like engaging in your favorite hobby or doing some meditation or movement. And being really intentional about it because I am not, and I wanna be better. So I'm hoping that if I build up this, these habits, that'll feel better and that I won't stay up until two in the morning. Watching [00:05:00] Love is BlindMari: Not ever done that. Did you invent rest? ToberRosie: I did,Mari: Rosie.Rosie: invention.Mari: Rosie's rest ToberTaylor: love that.Rosie: Yes, and I, yeah, I know it's hard. I feel like, I don't know, October's hard. We're busy, but also like having a good sleep routine. Even if I don't, if I'm not in bed by 11, I can still go through like my routine. Like journaling has been important I think and helpful for quieting my brain down enough for me to be able fall asleep reasonably quickly.Know, if you let me know if you guys join and what youTaylor: I love that and wish you luck in that. And it's interesting because we, you know, we develop sleep routines for our kids, you know, to get them in a, in a restful place and ready for sleep. So I love the idea of building one of those for, you know, yourself as well. I'm gonna take some inspiration there, Rosie.I will, I will join you in trying to create a sleep routine for rest Hoover. Thank you for that.Rosie: Yes. Mari: that we can check in on our next episode and see how we're all doing.[00:06:00] Okay, Taylor, what about you? What's on heart?Taylor: Oh, what, what's on my heart is I recently reread the GiverMari: Ooh.Rosie: OhTaylor: because my fifth grade son wanted to read it. He has recently, gotten into dystopian fantasy. He read the Hunger Game series over the summer, and it's kind of his genre of choice right now, but I wanted to reread it and refresh, , my mind on the themes and, you know, different things that we could talk about and have you guys read that book?Rosie: yeah. I mean, it's been, it'sum,Mari: it has been a minute.Rosie: it's very like, it's very beautifully written. It's kind of sparse in its description her word choice is so Precise. It does enough to paint a picture of the world without being overbearing or overly descriptive.Taylor: And it's a very quick read too. Um, if you wanna jump back into it, it hits so hard [00:07:00] and it has stuck with me all week long and it has, uh, really made me appreciative of color. Because I don't know if you remember in that that landscape, the world is devoid of color. So I've really been able to take some intentional moments to appreciate that around us.Really just in general, it, has given me this, this idea that, you know, if instead of shielding our kids and banning ideas and books, From them. If we instead took the time to read those books and use the hard concepts and the hard ideas to have really interesting and hard conversations with our kids we might be really amazed with some of the things that, that come out of them.So I am really excited to have really interesting conversations with my son about this book. I'm really curious how it's going to hit him and if it's going to hit him as [00:08:00] deeply and as hard as it has Hit me reading it again as an adult.Rosie: I love that. I love thatMari: Wow. Rosie: reading it together too. That's so special. oh, just an aside. When I was a kid, I, you know, those dumb things that you think of or that you think are true when, when you're a kid, because all the sh old shows were black and white. I thought the wor the entire world was in black and white. You know,the 1950sTaylor: Yep.Mari: my kids think that too.Taylor: So did mine. I, I'll never forget my middle son saying, when did the, when did the world become color?Rosie: like, oh no, we just got, we just got ButMari: we just better at capturing the world.Rosie: Yeah. Process that.Taylor: That's so precious.Mari: That is precious. Oh yeah. I need to revisit that book. I'm pretty sure I read it in middle school and then think I did revisit it as an adult, but I think I was maybe in college or something. So I think it would hit even more differently now. And I know they made a movie, but wasn't veryTaylor: I haven't seen it.Rosie: no, I haven't seen it either. Yeah. Revisiting books I think is super [00:09:00] valuable. Just like listening to music in different stageslike, you know, yeah. Stuff that you rocked out too as a teen you're like, oh, that wasn't actually applicable to my life at all, and but it felt very important in the moment.Mari: Yeah, for sure.Rosie: Mari, what's on your heart?Mari: On my heart. Um, well, last night we hosted a virtual discussion called Running for School Board 1 0 1, and we invited some local who for a local office and won. And then we had the amazing Gloria JohnsonTaylor: Woo.Mari: join us. man, she's just such an inspiration, but all of these women were so inspiring and it really, it gave me hope and it inspired me. Um, I've pretty much decided that running and being an elected official is not my calling, but I, there were so many people in the chat during the conversation that [00:10:00] sounded excited and felt, I think they felt that support that we wanted to show, that we would give, it really is scary. It's scary to say, I'm gonna run.And especially if you don't have a huge social network here, um, or locally, can be scary to think, well, no one, no one's gonna care. No one's gonna support me. So showing that Moms for Social Justice will be there for you is, is huge. I think. And, and Rosie even volunteered, you know, to make a logo for,design some things for folks for free and I think it will, I think it will inspire some folks to run and it, even if it doesn't, it's still hearing the stories of those women ran and their, you know, kind of why they decided to run and why they felt they needed to step up was really incredible. didn't know a lot of them.Rosie: I agree. It was, it was awesome. And to your point, Mari, like, I don't think, you know, just like, uh, moving through a dungeon requires, uh, different classes. You can't all just be [00:11:00] warriors. We need MAs, rogues as well. So it takes to run a successful campaign.Mari: Yes it does.Taylor: Rosie, I, I'm just gonna put this out here from now on every podcast episode. If you do not reference like d d or something nerdy, I'm gonna be really disappointed.Rosie: Um,Taylor: What, what class are you?Rosie: Oh, what cla? Um, I like, I usually like to play as like a, like a MJ Healy Healy type class. I do the support aspect as Yeah, I, I like it, but I, I honestly, I played all classes. Like, I like being upfront and being a tank. Probably being a tank, which is the person who takes all the damage.getting really nerdy.Taylor: I love it. I love it.Rosie: person who like does the buffs and, um, the, you know,and stuff. I, I like that too. Taylor: Yeah. Last night was really, uh, really wonderful as well to just hear,[00:12:00] taking that leap from having, the thought in the back of your mind, maybe, maybe I can do this. Maybe my voice, uh, is important. Maybe I can do something for my community.It's one thing to have that thought, it's another, to take that leap and actually run for office and, and see these women who did that, who made that leap was just really, really inspiring, especially to hear how all of their win margins were so narrow.Rosie: They were so Yes. Yeah. AndI re you know, canvassing, A lot of times when I knock on people's doors, I'll hear that people say that, you know, they don't vote or they're not registered because they really feel disheartened and feel like their vote doesn't matter. And that that's the complete opposite of the, the case. It really does matter, I think, in our in our area, or. know, sometimes looking at national politics too, it can feel very disempowering,that's the magic of like localMari: Mm-hmm. Rosie: and local is that that's where [00:13:00] you can a big impact and wield a lot of power and yeah,influence and that those local elections will have a big influence on your own day-to-day life as well.So they're really important.Mari: Well, thank you all for sharing. I think, I think it's nice to start that way. And, uh, our topic is one that's I'm not passionate about it all. Just kidding. Uh, dress codes in schools particularly. I wanna start with hearing from both of you and maybe kind of giving a little bit of my background. Like when you were in school, was there a dress code? Did it affect you at all? You know, what do you remember thinking about it? Were, did it just kind of not bother you? Were you angry? and then because we're all mothers, how has the dress codes in your kids' schools affected? You now and your kids. Rosie: As, as you all know, I went to a Catholic school for about years, [00:14:00] we wore uniforms as you do in most, I think all Catholic schools. and my parents didn't have a lot of extra money, like a lot their money was going to paying for our school tuition. You know, we lived in a very small house.So I, I like distinctly remember going to the like secondhand, uh, uniform sales that they would in the school gymnasium before the start of the year and, and like making sure that we go to that. and I just basically lived in my couple of uniform pieces. I didn't really have any, like, I had a few clothes from Kmart and stuff, but it was mostly uniform 'cause like where my parents' money went. Um, and so then I remember when I went to Uh, public, junior high in eighth grade, that was like a selling feature, of like, to public school and we can go to the mall and get clothes. And I was like, oh,Taylor: Woo hoo.Rosie: American Eagle? I don't know. Um, so when I was in, in high school and stuff, I didn't really, um, [00:15:00] I didn't run into any problems or anything. Um, but I do remember, you know, going back to, to Catholic school and wearing the uniform, I, it's a, it's really a difficult thing, but I do think it was beneficial in, in the way that, you know, my family didn't have a, a lot of extra resources. And there were kids in my school that that did, but when we were at school, except for, um, wintertime because I really wanted a starter jacket and my not Taylor: I remember starter jackets,Rosie: They a dollars and my parents were like, no, we're not spending a hundred dollars. But you know, the cool kids had it anyway. Um, yeah. And I remember over to kids' houses to play and like, wow, your house is like big and stuff, and didn't feel that disparity as much at school, which is a positive thing. Um, but I'm sure you know, the financial burden of just the cost of tuition and getting uniforms and stuff was a challenge for my parents.Mari: And how about now, uh, with your two kiddos in public school, have [00:16:00] you been affected by it at all? Have they said anything?Rosie: No, we haven't run into any issues yet, thankfully. Um, my kids still young and I feel like that's less of an issue when kids are young and becomes more of an issue once kids are interested in expressing themselves. I mean, the biggest thing is,my daughter has is neurodivergent. And so she has some sensory issues.And so I…

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How Do I Run for School Board Oct 06, 2023

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How Do I Run for School Board? The Moms for Social Justice Podcast

Episode 01: Battling Imposter Syndrome Sep 22, 2023

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