The Love and Respect Podcast

Episode 125 - Saying "Thanks" Versus Being Grateful - Part II Dec 02, 2016

We can say "thanks" but not be grateful. We can mouth words but our hearts are elsewhere. We are fixated on ourselves. We have probably all seen this in ourselves. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:2 that people can be "lovers of self... ungrateful." We can even sing a song of thanks while in a worship service at church but inwardly dwell on the hurt and offense we feel toward someone who wronged us the day before. Join Emerson and Jonathan in part 2 this week and continuing the conversation about gratefulness but focusing on the intangible.

Episode 124 - Saying "Thanks" Versus Being Grateful - Part I Nov 25, 2016

We can say "thanks" but not be grateful. We can mouth words but our hearts are elsewhere. We are fixated on ourselves. We have probably all seen this in ourselves. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:2 that people can be "lovers of self... ungrateful." We can even sing a song of thanks while in a worship service at church but inwardly dwell on the hurt and offense we feel toward someone who wronged us the day before. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week in this two part series which starts with how we can be grateful for the tangible things in our lives.

Episode 123 - Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement? Part II Nov 18, 2016

Emerson and Jonathan continue this important topic in part 2 this week, including adding a third component of apathy. What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions. However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways.

Episode 122 - Parenting- Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement Part I Nov 11, 2016

What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions. However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways. Join Emerson and Jonathan in Part I this week as they explore this topic.

Episode 121 - 8 Ways To Jump Off The Crazy Cycle Nov 04, 2016

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 8 ways to prevent and get off the Crazy Cycle (see Episode 1 for a deeper explanation of the Crazy Cycle. Examples include what to do when you see the spirit of your spouse deflate, accepting some trouble as normal, and trusting in each other's goodwill.

Episode 120 - The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part III Oct 28, 2016

Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part III of this three part series. Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts? Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared? The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons. In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons. Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process.

Episode 119 - The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part II Oct 21, 2016

Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part II of this three part series. Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts? Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared? The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons. In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons. Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process.

Episode 118 - The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part I Oct 14, 2016

Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts? Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared? The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons. In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons. Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process. Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part I of this series.

Episode 117 - Submission and Mutual Submission - Yikes! Oct 07, 2016

**Jonathan's audio sounds poor and the issue was a bad cable. Our apologies.

Submission, mutual submission, headship, authority, responsibility, equality, and decision making. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss these very lite topics which stir up very few strong emotions in people :)

Episode 116 - After The "Oops" Just Apologize And Make It Right Sep 30, 2016

When we miscommunicate, most people readily forgive when we ask them to forgive us. After all, they themselves have misspoken and have little interest in throwing stones. This is especially so when they see us making an honest mistake. What drives people nuts is when they feel that we spoke or wrote something that was designed to hurt or offend them, and we have no intentions of owning up to it, apologizing, and correcting our error. Join Emerson and Jonathan this as they discuss this topic and some examples of what to do if we hurt someone long ago. Also check out a recent publicized example of an apology HERE.

Episode 115 - Have You Seen These Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees? Sep 23, 2016

Men and women need love and respect as human beings in the workplace. Though there are daily demands to fulfill the mission of the organization apart from these emotional attitudes toward each other, that company will perform well when the men and women get on what I call the Crazy Cycle. Without love (care) a woman reacts without respect and without respect a man reacts without love (care). But added to this craziness is the tension between managers and employees. When employees feel unloved (uncared for) they react in ways that feel disrespectful to managers and when managers feel disrespected they react in ways that feel unloving (uncaring) to employees. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this new topic.

Episode 114 - In Business, What's Love and Respect Got to Do With It? Sep 16, 2016

There are two elements that are foundational to the long-term success of an organization. As odd as this may sound, they are love and respect. Said negatively and drastically, if there is hostility and contempt, the organization cannot continue to succeed if it has succeeded, at least not significantly. Put it this way, good people leave and customers sense something is wrong. Join Emerson and Jonathan as they discuss this topic of business, which does apply to other environments such as teacher and student, coach and player, etc.

Episode 113 - Why Confess Our Unloving and Disrespectful Comments? Sep 09, 2016

Why confess our unloving and disrespectful comments? If the roles were reversed, we'd expect another to confess to us. If another was mean to us, blamed us for their unkind reactions, made light of their unkindnesses since they meant no harm, and justified or denied their personal unresolved issues contributing to their hostilities and contempt toward us, we'd be up in arms. We'd be saying, "Wow, can't you at least humbly apologize for your part?" Join Emerson and Jonathan this week for this important topic.

Episode 112 - Why Do I Rebel Against Being Kind, Loving, and Respectful? Sep 02, 2016

Some of us declare, "It's my life. I make the rules. Keep your nose out of my affairs." At one level such independence is commendable and noble. But what occurs when you say to another, "If I wish to communicate what is untrue, unkind, unnecessary, and unclear to you, I will, and it's none of your business"? No one responds to a person like that. But what if certain rules and principles are sacred? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they talk about the kindness rule and how inviting it can be in marriage and life.

Episode 111 - Nine Episodes of Untrue Communications: Can You Relate? - Part II Aug 26, 2016

In part 2 of this two part series, Emerson and Jonathan continue to discuss the topic of lying. This stems from Emerson's recent writing for a new book coming out in 2017. Throughout the 9 episodes or examples of untrue communication consider which ones you have observed and how often you think such things happen, whether with you or others. Part 2 also includes a story that continues to impact Emerson.

Episode 110 - Nine Episodes of Untrue Communications: Can You Relate? - Part I Aug 19, 2016

In this two part series, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the topic of lying. This stems from Emerson's recent writing for a new book coming out in 2017. Throughout the 9 episodes or examples of untrue communication consider which ones you have observed and how often you think such things happen, whether with you or others.

Episode 109 - Have You Ever Been Overlooked? Aug 12, 2016

Join Emerson, Jonathan, and their first guest, Joy Eggerichs Reed, on this weeks episode as they discuss what it’s like and what we can do when we are overlooked, when we go unpicked, or our efforts go unrecognized.

Episode 108 - Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part II Aug 05, 2016

In Part II this week Emerson and Jonathan continue the discussion about some husbands habitually looking at other women and having a double standard. Knowing this double standard exists, what should a husband and wife now do about his looking at other women? Emerson and Jonathan attempt to answer this question.

Episode 107 - Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part I Jul 29, 2016

Do husbands have a double standard? Emerson and Jonathan invite you to join them this week and consider one that they have observed. Some wives hear from their husbands, “I can look at women because God designed me to look at the female figure, but you must not look at men.” While the subject of pornography is an important issue this episode is not about that. Instead, this episode looks at husbands who habitually look at women around them.

Episode 106 - Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part II Jul 22, 2016

In part 2 Emerson answers the question, "Where do we go from here?" continuing the discussion of the double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Look at the next couple of episodes for this topic as it relates to men.

Episode 105 - Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part I Jul 15, 2016

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan highlight a double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse our young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Stay tuned for Part II of this topic and then the same topic as it applies to men in the coming weeks.

Episode 104 - The Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships - Part II - Rick Warren Invites Emerson to Speak at Saddleback Church Jul 08, 2016

Part II - Rick Warren invited Emerson to speak at Saddleback Church on the topic of relationships. Presented to more than 20,000 people, listen in as Emerson focuses on these three areas:

1. What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

2. What Happens When We Innocently Overlook These Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

3. How Do We Ensure Applying These Two Key Ingredients In Order to Succeed in Relationships?

Episode 103 - What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? Part I - Rick Warren Invites Emerson To Speak Jul 01, 2016

Rick Warren invited Emerson to speak at Saddleback Church on the topic of relationships. Presented to more than 20,000 people, listen in as Emerson focuses on these three areas (this is Part I of II):

1. What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

2. What Happens When We Innocently Overlook These Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

3. How Do We Ensure Applying These Two Key Ingredients In Order to Succeed in Relationships?

Episode 102 - Does God Want Me To Divorce To Be Happy? Jun 24, 2016

“God wants you to be happy.” Have you heard this platitude before? Has it perhaps been spoken to you? Maybe you’ve even heard it said in the context of someone being encouraged to divorce their spouse, because “God wants you to be happy.” However, some platitudes, though quite memorable, are not based on biblical truth. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic.

Episode 101 - My Response Is My Responsibility - Part II Jun 17, 2016

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week for part 2 of My Response Is My Responsibility. In discussing this challenging but freeing topic they will look at the fact that no one can make a person disobey God, owning one’s responses, letting others off the hook and confronting others.

Episode 100 - My Response Is My Responsibility - Part I Jun 10, 2016

We possess a God given right to rule our own inner responses. No one can make us hate them. No one can force us to have contempt for them. That’s a choice we make. Others cannot make that decision for us. What brings a person to this place of freedom? How does a person discover their right to rule their inner response? It begins with subscribing to this axiom: My Response is My Responsibility. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Episode 099 - Can We Manipulate Each Other With The Love And Respect Teaching? Jun 03, 2016

Though God commands the husband to love and a wife to respect, a strange twist might take place. A wife puts on respect for one reason: to get her husband to be loving. A husband puts on love solely to get his wife to respect him. One pastor wrote Emerson and shared his concerns fearing this very thing: that husbands and wives will manipulate each other when applying love and respect based on Ephesians 5:33. Join Emerson and Jonathan this weeks as they discuss this topic.

Episode 098 - Why Are Believers Mad At God? Part 2 May 27, 2016

Join Emerson and Jonathan in Part 2 of this series as they examine four reasons someone might hate or be mad at God: Cursing when suffering, Hostile when disobeying, Hating when proven guilty, Raging when foolish. Does the Bible teach that people who claim to believe in God can hate God? Jesus said, “He who hates Me hates My Father also” (John 15:23). So according to Jesus, yes, people can hate God the Father. And for those of us who believe Jesus is God’s Son, people can hate the Son of God. The apostle Paul tells us that there will be “haters of God” (Romans 1:30). People who believe in God can hate God. You cannot hate someone you do not believe exists.

Don't forget to sign up for our Podcast 100 giveaway HERE.

Episode 097 - Why Are Believers Mad At God? Part I May 20, 2016

Does the Bible teach that people who claim to believe in God can hate God? Jesus said, “He who hates Me hates My Father also” (John 15:23). So according to Jesus, yes, people can hate God the Father. And for those of us who believe Jesus is God’s Son, people can hate the Son of God. The apostle Paul tells us that there will be “haters of God” (Romans 1:30). People who believe in God can hate God. You cannot hate someone you do not believe exists. Join Emerson and Jonathan over the next two episodes as they examine four reasons someone might hate God: Cursing when suffering, Hostile when disobeying, Hating when proven guilty, Raging when foolish.

Episode 096 - Do You Feel Judged as Stupid or Wrong, Which Leaves You Feeling Unloved and Disrespected? May 13, 2016

We can feel stupid and wrong in our marriage. When we feel stupid and wrong in the marriage, we can draw conclusions about ourselves that are untrue in the eyes of God and react in ways that won’t remedy the pain, such as believing the lie (s) about ourselves or considering divorce. Our spouse will affect us emotionally but negative words cannot determine who God made us to be. We can begin to realize inner wisdom and the rightness about how we are living, even if a spouse refuses to acknowledge it. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Episode 095 - What Did You Do To Come Through Your Marital Crisis? May 06, 2016

Are you in or have you come through a marital crisis? You could be the innocent victim with a wounded heart who experienced shock or the remorseful offender with a contrite heart who experienced shame. There could have been any number of reasons for the crisis. Typically, though, a crisis falls under one or more of what Emerson refers to as the six A’s: adultery, abandonment, abuse, addiction, adversity, and apathy. Your situation may involve something outside of those, but join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic and email Emerson regarding how you are making it through or made it through the crisis at story@loveandrespect.com, including if you are listening to this months or years after it was posted. There is an attached document in the show notes available for download to guide your thinking and email.

Email Crisis Guide

L&RP Episode 094 - What if Love and Respect Do Not Work With My Spouse? Apr 29, 2016

Some people live in fear that as they seek to apply the Love and Respect message their spouse will not respond in like manner, and then when that happens it confirms their fears. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic.

Episode 093 - What is so Unique about Emerson's Message to Mothers? Apr 22, 2016

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss Emerson's most recent book, Mother & Son: The Respect Effect, a book that Emerson sees as an encyclopedia of information that a mom can turn to during various moments of conflict with her son. In this episode three topics are discussed: The Message of Respect is unique compared to the message of love; The Outcome of Respect is unique according to mothers; and The Thirst for Respect is unique in boys compared to girls.

Episode 092- Why Do Good Willed Wives Feel Frustrated? Apr 15, 2016

This week Emerson and Jonathan look at the behavior of a husband who bullies. There are many things that hurt and frustrate wives but there is a type of female who emails Emerson with this complaint: "I must stuff my feelings, keep my mouth shut, and do as he says." While some wives who write this type of email may be overreacting or misrepresenting the facts, despotic husbands exist who roar commands at their good willed wives. Their excessive and unloving decrees leave their wives feeling hurt, frustrated, confused, and worthless. Join Emerson and Jonathan as they discuss this topic.

Episode 091 - Why Do Good Willed Husbands Feel Frustrated? Apr 08, 2016

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan look at a specific example of a husband and wife disagreeing on how they should approach their son, where the husband is reporting significant frustration. Taking the position that mothers and wives are never mean-spirited in such situations but that they truly care, Emerson discusses how her fears and care have unintended consequences toward the good willed husband.

Episode 090 - 19 Love and Respect Truisms and Principles to Live By Apr 01, 2016

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 19 simple, yet sometimes difficult to do, principles from the Love and Respect message. From monitoring your thoughts and feelings in interactions with your spouse, to what to say and do, practicing a few of these can improve your marriage.

Episode 089 - Are Husbands Hyper-Sensitive or Just Highly-Sensitive to Disrespect? Mar 25, 2016

Some husbands are hyper-sensitive to anything that strikes them as disrespectful. They overreact to their good willed wives who do not intend any such disrespect. Sadly, these men read disrespect into her every question, concern, or disagreement. Some husbands are just sensitive to undeserving disrespect. Though they humbly appeal to their wives to halt the rudeness toward them as men, husbands and fathers, these women claim the husbands are overly sensitive. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important issue. See episode 088 to hear this topic as it pertains to wives.

Episode 088 - Are Wives HyperSensitive or Just Highly Sensitive to A Husband’s Unclear Comments? Mar 18, 2016

Typically speaking, most husbands are assured of their wives love. Women are virtuous and excellent caregivers. Because of a wife’s loving and nurturing nature few men have an undercurrent of curiosity and insecurity about a wife’s love. Women love to love, and men know this. However, with many wives there is an undercurrent of curiosity and insecurity that they possess in their souls that their husbands do not possess: “Does he really love me as much as I love him?” Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic. Husbands: If you use this information against your wife, claiming she is hyper-sensitive, and you say it in an unloving way, then you are in the fact the insensitive one.

Episode 087 - 3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 3 Mar 11, 2016

In Part 3 of this series on dating Emerson looks back briefly at becoming a mature person and looking for a mature person but that for Christians a third component is needed, Doing God's Will As a Couple. When we do not have a purpose beyond ourselves, we end up focusing only on ourselves. When we do not think of something bigger than ourselves, we will only think of ourselves. When nothing is more important than ourselves, than we alone are important. However, when we fight for something bigger than ourselves, we fight with each other less! That may not be the most noble of reasons to follow Christ but it certainly leads to marital satisfaction!

Episode 086 - 3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 2 Mar 04, 2016

Emerson and Jonathan continue this three part series on what leads to a successful marriage. In Part 1 they looked at being a mature person. In Part 2 they look at finding a mature person. This three part series is perfect for anyone who is dating or unmarried, but also for anyone who knows someone that is. Additionally, do you have children or plan on having children? This can help you in your conversations with them about marriage.

Episode 085 - 3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage Feb 26, 2016

This three part series is perfect for anyone who is dating or unmarried, but also for anyone who knows someone that is. Additionally, do you have children or plan on having children? This can help you in your conversations with them about marriage. In thinking about his own daughter's upcoming marriage Emerson composed his thoughts on preparing for marriage, which includes being a mature person, looking for a mature person, and being motivated by Christ's mission as a couple.

Episode 084 - God Joined you together - What Does This Mean? Feb 19, 2016

Does God intend to direct our steps to one and only one person that He designed from eternity past to be our soul-mate? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss the topic of a soul-mate. Whether you are a person looking to get married or have been married for many years but think you married the wrong person, this episode will provide insight.

Episode 083 - What is the Issue When the Issue Isn’t the Issue? Feb 12, 2016

Drawing upon principles of the Crazy Cycle Emerson responds separately to a wife and to a husband about two different issues. He helps them understand that they need to approach their spouse with love and respect, which is an issue, while still addressing the topic at hand. This episode will help listeners discern what really is the issue when an issue is being discussed.

Episode 082 - Is Your Wife Really Trying To Be Negative and Disrespectful? Feb 05, 2016

A husband wrote, “My wife and I have been married for almost two years. . . . Our disagreements are centered on her emotional outbursts and my lack of emotion. . . . I do love the emotion my wife has and I know God has us together to love and respect each other as we seek to glorify him, but I struggle when my wife justifies some behavior as her uncontrollable emotional reaction. I am not looking for something to condemn her with, instead I would like your viewpoint on how one best handles this type of ongoing disagreement.” Emerson responds in this week's episode.

Episode 081 - After An Affair Is Ongoing Contact With the Other Person Ok? Jan 29, 2016

Over the years Emerson has received hundred of emails regarding affairs, often from the betrayed spouse asking what they should do. Both Emerson and Jonathan have also listened to countless stories of infidelity as they counsel individuals and couples. Join them this week as they explore a response Emerson wrote to a man who wondered if he was handling things correctly following an affair. This message is applicable for husband and wife, both the betrayed and the betrayer.

Episode 080 - What Does Regularly Playing the Lotto Do to the Soul? Jan 22, 2016

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan discuss a number of issues pertaining to playing the lotto and money. Here are some of the topics: two types of people who buy lotto tickets; the addicted poor; lovers of money or lovers of God; wandering from the faith; and what are people's true beliefs.

Episode 079 - True or False: What Is Desirable In A Man Is His Kindness? Jan 15, 2016

Is it true that what is wanted in a person is for this individual to be friendly, generous, and considerate? Yes. Proverbs 19:22 states, "What is desirable in a man is his kindness." Why is this a desirable trait? People know they will respond to a kind individual. Kindness motivates people to act. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss the topic of kindness.

Episode 078 - Losing Makes Us a Winner! How To Be Resolute Jan 08, 2016

From third grade to eighth grade Emerson was overweight. He wore Husky pants. His legs rubbed together when he ran. His belly hung over the front of his pants. Sometimes people called him “fatty.” He would often cry. The Bible says, "Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:7–8). Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they talk about being resolute in the new year.

Episode 077 - 9 Ways To Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud Jan 01, 2016

Over time, two people can hurt, frustrate, confuse, and anger the other. She feels that her differing opinion and convictions do not matter to him as much as his own ideas matter. Or, he feels that his differing outlook and beliefs have little importance to her compared to how she feels about her views. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss how individuals begin to feel that their ideas do not matter and that they do not matter on the heels of another disagreement, but how they must guard against the 9 Ways to Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud.

Episode 076 - Three Reasons Some Do Some Not Have a Filter On Their Words Dec 25, 2015

Some of us need a filter on our speech when we communicate. When we lack a filter we undermine our effectiveness in communicating with people. With whom we communicate falls into three groups: family and friends, coworkers and neighbors, or acquaintances and strangers. This filter consists of asking three questions before communicating: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss an important topic.

Episode 075 - Are You Offended By The Inoffensive? Dec 18, 2015

Though a person appears to be unloving and disrespectful, to the point where I even feel unloved and disrespected, could I have actually misinterpreted the appearance? When I feel offended by another, does that mean the other person is automatically an offensive person, or could I feel offended by something that in fact is inoffensive? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Episode 074 - When We Address a Man’s Needs, Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion? Dec 11, 2015

Some feel that when we talk about what is true of most males we are implying this is untrue of women. When some ladies feel this way, they change the focus to the woman. Why? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss a difficult topic following and expanding upon a recent blog. WARNING: This may be difficult for some to hear and we aren't talking about the volume.

Episode 073 - What’s Wrong With Thinking Another Person Is Right? Dec 04, 2015

Do you believe one spouse’s report without ever hearing the other spouse tell their side of the story? Why? Although a question about marriage, listen in as Emerson and Jonathan discuss this question and how the answer is applicable to all walks of life. How most know that we must hear both sides in a court of law, how the Bible teaches us why, and where we read in Proverbs 18:17 and other scriptures, "The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him." It is a basic truth: when only one person tells their side of the story it seems convincing. However, when another questions and even counters, a different picture emerges.

Episode 072 - 3 Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad At Marriage Counseling Nov 28, 2015

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss some of the difficulties in finding a good Christian marriage counselor. They discuss how some counselors have a difficult time working with couples because of an individualistic approach, how some counselors have a negative male bias, and how some counselors maintain moral neutrality, plus practical recommendations for dealing with these issues. Whether for you or someone you know, this episode will be helpful for those in or considering marital counseling.

Episode 071 - Do You Remain Thankful During The Tough Times? Nov 20, 2015

Are you thankful in the good times? Are you thankful in the difficult times? The Bible states that it is God's will that we be thankful, no matter the circumstances, although not necessarily for the circumstances. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic during the Thanksgiving season.

Episode 070 - Why The Deception In Marriage? Nov 13, 2015

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss six examples of the hurt the innocent party feels when discovering their husband or wife lies to them: three examples from wives and three from husbands. Reasons for the lying occurring and what should have been done are discussed. Listeners are encouraged to come up with their own answers, apply to their own relationships and share with others.

Episode 069 - Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues? Nov 06, 2015

Many of us look at the things in ourselves that we do not like and at the negative reactions from people we do not like, and we wonder, Do these problems exist in my life because of my parents? If they had been better parents, or had treated me better, then surely I’d be a better person with fewer personal and interpersonal problems, right? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important issue.

Episode 068 - Parenting God's Way - Part 2 Oct 30, 2015

Listen to Emerson this week as he wraps up his message on parenting. Through three points Emerson will again help listeners parent God's way.

Episode 067 - Parenting God's Way Part 1 Oct 23, 2015

Hear Emerson speak on the topic of parenting this week. A powerful two part sermon on why we parent God's way, this topic will be enlightening and freeing to many people. Whether a parent in crisis, a parent who has it all together right now, a parent with grown children, or someone who is not even a parent yet, this will impact you.

Episode 066 - Our Marriage Hit Rock Bottom - A Wife’s Story Oct 16, 2015

Listen in this week as Emerson and Jonathan discuss a wife's story about her marriage hitting rock bottom and what she did about it. Here are a few of her words - We went to counseling, and that did not seem to help. My husband told me he loved me, but wasn’t attracted to me and didn’t feel “in love” with me...I decided to try one of your exercises. I told my husband why I respected him. I remember having to think about it all night.

Episode 065 - Does Your Spouse Dictate Your Worth as a Person? Who Determines Who You Are? Oct 09, 2015

In every marriage each spouse negatively affects the other, at least sometimes. When on the receiving end of the negativity, we feel disappointed, sad, hurt, grieved, frustrated, angry, and even devastated. In some instances, the pain proves nearly unbearable, such as when a spouse serves us divorce papers. We are not mechanical robots without emotions. But can a spouse make us feel worthless in the core of our being, ordaining that our life has no meaning or purpose? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Episode 064 - What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult? Oct 02, 2015

Have we forgotten what we knew about marriage at age six? In response to a recent video that went viral, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the things we knew as children, such as, mommy and daddy ought to be friendly with each other because all mommies and daddies ought to be friends. What we knew, why things often change, and then three practical ways friendship can enter a marriage again are discussed.

Episode 063 - Experiencing The Presence of God Sep 25, 2015

Emerson and Jonathan discuss how to experience the presence of God this week. As you draw near to God, you can experience God Himself. You can fully devote yourself to the Lord whether you are celibate and undistracted or married and distracted. The point is simply to draw near to God and begin to experience His awesome presence in your life. When you do, good things happen.

Episode 062 - Do You BOTH Take Responsibility for the Lack of Love and Respect? Sep 18, 2015

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss how good things happen to a couple when both contend they are the one responsible for the lack of love and respect in the marriage. For instance when both say, “My response is my responsibility and I could have been more loving and respectful even when you were having a bad day,” the nature of the marriage changes for the better—much better.

Episode 061 - Do the Prayers of a Person Make a Difference in Their War Room? Sep 11, 2015

Emerson recently saw the movie War Room and came away thinking about the topic of prayer, reflecting on the legacy of prayer in his family. Emerson believes the prayers of his grandmother, whom he never knew, as well as another godly woman, impacted his family significantly and that praying for our spouse, children, and others is something many of us are missing out on. The impact can be significant!

Episode 060 - How a Wife Won Her Husband - His Testimony Sep 04, 2015

Through the testimony of a husband who engaged in online affairs, Emerson and Jonathan discuss and respond to his report that his wife facilitated the reconciliation through her words and behavior. He said, "She showed me respect when I did not deserve it."

Episode 059 - Respect Talk: A Husband's Mother-Tongue Aug 28, 2015

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan look specifically at the topic of respect as it pertains to a husband. Why respect? When a wife feels unloved, her tendency is to be disrespectful. Her disrespect is her attempt to motivate her husband to change. Her dark look, negative words and unsupportive actions are designed to send him a message: “You are hurting me. Be more loving!” But no husband feels fond feelings of affection toward a woman he thinks despises him (2 Samuel 6:16).

Episode 058 - My Wife is Leaving Me Aug 21, 2015

Why does it take a crisis of a spouse leaving to awaken a person to their unloving and disrespectful behavior? Emerson and Jonathan attempt to answer this question by looking at a recent testimony from a husband who confessed and awakened.

Episode 057 - Dear God, Change My Husband Aug 14, 2015

In this week's episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the good intentions, but pitfalls of some wives' desire to change their husbands.

Episode 056 - When Parenting: The Punishment Must Fit The Crime - Part 2 Aug 07, 2015

Emerson and Jonathan continue the discussion of discipline when parenting in part 2 of this series. In this episode, the unintentionally bad but morally reckless child and the intentionally bad and morally rebellious child are discussed. Through looking at intent and discussing never disciplining above or below the "crime," two difficult categories of discipline are examined.

Episode 055 - The Midlife Crisis of The Christian: Am I Really Happy With Who I Am as a Person? Jul 31, 2015

At some level, most people, whether in their teens, twenties, fifties, etc. will experience a crisis, perceived or real. In this weeks podcast Emerson and Jonathan examine the popular phrase, midlife crisis, discussing at length this question: Am I really happy with who I am as a person? Of note - this topic will be further developed through the blog and ebook format, answering these additional questions: Am I really happy with who my spouse is to me? (Given one is married); Am I really happy with who God is in my life?

Episode 054 - Why Does My Wife Want To Be So Close To Me? Jul 24, 2015

In this weeks episode Emerson and Jonathan examine the letter C, for Closeness, from the acronym C.O.U.P.L.E., which is how a husband can spell love to a wife (read more here). Through testimonies from wives, some commonly understood differences between most men and women, and biblical wisdom, Emerson unpacks this critical component for husbands to better relate to their wives.

Episode 053 - Why Do Some People Hang On To Bitterness? Jul 17, 2015

Jonathan and Emerson look at the underlying reasons why people don't let go of bitterness. Join them this week as they discuss what it means to have a forgiving spirit even in the most difficult of circumstances.

Episode 052 - When Parenting: The Punishment Must Fit The Crime Part 1 Jul 10, 2015

When disciplining our kids, we can learn something from the court system. The punishment must fit the crime. In Part 1 of a two part series, Emerson and Jonathan look at how society handles punishment and how parents can use similar ideas in approaching and dealing with their children, not to punish or be punitive in parenting, but to correct in love.

Episode 051 - Why Do I Struggle to Forgive Myself? Jul 03, 2015

In this week's episode the topic of forgiveness is discussed by Emerson and Jonathan. All of us do wrong. Who among us is perfect? When we fail God’s standard, some of us not only feel badly, we hate ourselves. Emerson asks listeners to struggle with the wonders of being forgiven instead of struggling to forgive oneself.

Episode 050 - What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 2 Jun 26, 2015

In Part 2 of What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven?, Emerson and Jonathan continue the discussion about rewarded and unrewarded believers. While difficult concepts are discussed, salient scriptures are examined that pertain to why we do what we do as Christians when it comes to marriage, parenting, and beyond.

Episode 049 - A Righteous Father Falls Seven Times, And Rises Again Jun 19, 2015

In this Father's Day message, Emerson and Jonathan encourage fathers to focus on Proverbs 24:16 which says, "A righteous man falls seven times, and rises again." There is hope. Failings are not final. You can begin again.

Episode 048 - What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 1 Jun 12, 2015

In this week's episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss specific Scriptures about heaven, future rewards, and why it is that what we do in this life matters more than we may realize. Whether in marriage, parenting, or relationships in general, this message is sure to enrich and empower as one understands that nothing is wasted when we do things unto Christ.

Episode 047 - My Love is Behind My Disrespect Jun 05, 2015

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss a recent inquiry that Emerson received from a wife saying, "My love is behind my disrespect." What she is essentially saying is, because the intent is good, the means are justified, especially since it seems to work with her husband. Emerson and Jonathan respond in this week’s episode.

Episode 046 - What Is The Issue With a Grumpy Husband? May 29, 2015

Emerson and Jonathan begin a discussion about grumpiness and husbands. However, looking at the issue from both perspectives, Emerson challenges husbands and wives on an issue that is present in many homes. Renew your hope and be encouraged in that we do not need to stay where we are; we can make changes.

Episode 045 - Who Makes the Final Decision When You Are Stalemated? May 22, 2015

Have you ever had a difficult time making a decision with another person? In this weeks episode Emerson and Jonathan discuss what to do when you and your spouse are in a stalemate, or gridlocked on an issue. Drawing up on the Bible as well as the business and sports world, you will be sure to find something useful in this episode about decision making inside of marriage.

Episode 044 - My Situation Is Complex, Beyond Love & Respect! May 15, 2015

Emerson is often told that the Love and Respect principles are too simple for a particularly complex situation, and so therefore they don't apply. In this week’s episode, he responds by discussing various difficult or complex situations and making the case that love and respect are like food and water to any given situation--they are necessary, but specific interventions, resources, etc. must be brought to the uniqueness of each situation.

Episode 043 - Wounded Healer May 07, 2015

In this week's episode, Emerson speaks at Liberty University with a message titled, "Wounded Healer." He shares his personal story in order to help others understand how God can use past wounds to bring about healing.

Episode 042 - What Bible Verse Gives Hope to Millions? Jeremiah 29:11 Apr 30, 2015

Over the centuries, countless Christians have memorized, quoted and clung to Jeremiah 29:11. Emerson and Jonathan discuss how the promises of God always kick in at some level amidst our suffering. God may not stop the pain, but he does show up in it. One can experience God’s presence, power, peace and purpose independent of death, divorce or whatever one's circumstances may be.

Episode 041 - Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage - Part 2 Apr 24, 2015

In Part 2 of this 2-part series, Emerson and Jonathan continue their discussion about the motive, means, and opportunities people use to justify killing their marriage, while forgetting the ways by which to resurrect it. While acknowledging there are justified, biblical reasons for divorce, as well as terrible and difficult situations requiring local, direct, and wise counsel, Emerson and Jonathan take a look at what a couple can do to keep from murdering their marriage.

Episode 040 - Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage Part 1 Apr 17, 2015

In Part 1 of this 2-part podcast series, Emerson and Jonathan begin discussing why

some people leave their marriage. With motive, means and opportunity, there are many

ways to sabotage a marriage and get it to end, but what are the biblical reasons for

separation and divorce? Listen in to find out.

Episode 039 - Tuesday Night is Coming Part 2 - A Good Woman's View of Sex Apr 10, 2015

As a sequel to a very popular podcast, “Tuesday Night Is Coming,” Emerson and Jonathan discuss a powerful and insightful email from a woman who details the way many wives feel about sex in relationship to their husband. Both husbands and wives will appreciate this episode.

Episode 038 - Is Your Wife Really Finished With Your Marriage? Look Again! Apr 02, 2015

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan review and discuss a recent email exchange that Emerson had with a deployed soldier who believed his wife was going to divorce him. They explore what spouses can do in a relationship when very serious things are implied or stated. This episode will also help those who are trying to figure out what to say and do in response to relationships they know are not doing well.

Episode 037 - Is There An Upside to Erupting in Anger? Mar 27, 2015

How angry can we get and for what reasons? In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the consequences of anger within relationships, both inside and outside of the home. Anger is a part of being human, but when used in eruptive ways, it can be very damaging. It can affect the inward, the outward, and the upward. Listen to learn what this means.

Episode 036 - Four Prayers That Will Impact Your Marriage Mar 20, 2015

Can prayer impact your relationship? Emerson and Jonathan look at four areas where an individual or couple can invite God in. The Presence, Peace, Power, and Purpose of God are examined through four specific prayers and corresponding Bible verses.

Episode 035 - Who Do You Feel Is Responsible For the Success of Your Marriage? Mar 13, 2015

Emerson and Jonathan discuss responsibility inside of marriage, including the notion that some of us hold others responsible for our happiness and ultimately the success or failure of our marriage.

Episode 034 - Male and Female Communication Mar 06, 2015

Emerson and Jonathan respond to an inquiry and talk about why the key to a successful marriage is, in fact, not communication.

Episode 033 - Tuesday Night is Coming, So Who Decides About Sexual Intimacy? Feb 27, 2015

“But if you should marry…such will have trouble in this life…” (1 Corinthians 7:28). Scripture teaches there will be trouble in marriage. Get ready for it!

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss preferences and needs around the issue of sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

Episode 032 - The Impact of Seeking A Child’s Forgiveness Feb 20, 2015

Following a blog post written by Sarah Eggerichs on the topic of parenting, Emerson and Jonathan discuss forgiveness in the context of the parental relationship and what impact it has on children.

Episode 031 - Six “Thank You” Statements to Say to Your Spouse Feb 13, 2015

In the book, Love & Respect, love is spelled to a wife with the acronym C.O.U.P.L.E. and respect to a husband with the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S. This week Emerson and Jonathan ask listeners to consider how they might express thankfulness to their spouse in one of these six areas, asking wives to thank their husband for at least one of the ways he shows love and asking husbands to thank their wife for at least one of the ways she shows respect.

Episode 030 - How Do You Seek to Empathically Understand Your Kids? Feb 06, 2015

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss ways of seeking to empathically understand your child without compromising your calling as a parent. They will take a glimpse at the parenting style of Mary and Joseph and share six principles of understanding as described in the book Love & Respect in the Family.

Episode 029 - What is the Difference Between Healthy Self-Love and Carnal Self-Love? Jan 30, 2015

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the love of self from a societal and biblical perspective. There are unhealthy and healthy ways to experience self-love, and how we view God's love of us is immensely important. Finally, in marriage, our view of God's love and our love of self can positively and negatively impact the way we treat our spouse.

L&RP Episode 028 - What is the #1 Paradox When Parenting God’s Way? Jan 23, 2015

Parenting is for adults only because it's difficult. A sense of self-worth as a parent is often based on a child's performance or how they turn out, but this is not healthy. This week, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the #1 paradox in parenting and give hope to many parents.

Episode 027 - The Dynamic Woman Jan 16, 2015

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan read and discuss a series of recent emails from a wife who is a dynamic leader outside the home. She feels she and her husband may be mismatched and asks if, and how, they should remain together.

Episode 026 - A Husband Wakes Up Before It Is Too Late Jan 09, 2015

Some individuals take years to wake up to the fact that their behavior needs to change. In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss one husband's decision to acknowledge many years of doing things incorrectly, the choice to be different and the patience required to win his spouse back.

Episode 025 - Why Does My Husband Hate Me- Jan 02, 2015

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss reasons a wife may believe her husband hates her. From he truly hates her, to they’ve said it to each other without meaning it, to he doesn’t apologize to her, five reasons this may be going on are discussed.

Episode 024 - How To Learn Love and Respect: Illumination Beyond Marriage Dec 27, 2014

“As I look back on my marriage to Jackie—56 years, 3 months and 13 days before she went home—I think not so much of light bulb moments, but more of dawning realizations (I seem to be a slow learner)." Emerson and Jonathan discuss a marriage and faith testimony from acclaimed Christian author, Fritz Ridenour, in this week’s episode.

**NOTE** We apologize for the audio quality of this episode due to technical difficulties.

--Emerson and Jonathan

Episode 023 - Who Does He Think He Is? Dec 19, 2014

Jesus makes an extraordinary statement in the gospel of John. He says in John 14:9, “He who has seen me has seen the father.” Emerson remembers reading that and thinking, “Who does He think He is? God?” Emerson and Jonathan discuss the implications of this statement for our lives this Christmas season.

Episode 022 - The Spiritual Leadership of a Husband Dec 12, 2014

Today's godly woman yearns for her husband to be a spiritual leader. The number one complaint among godly wives IS NOT, "My husband isn't treating me equally." The broader complaint is, "My husband isn't the spiritual leader." Emerson and Jonathan discuss the topic of men being spiritual leaders within the home in this week's episode.

Episode 021 - Why Does A Husband Misunderstand His Wife? Dec 05, 2014

Saying husbands and wives can misunderstand each other at times is an understatement. In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss how husbands often misunderstand their wives. They’ll take a look at a powerful testimony from a husband who concluded after 17 years of marriage that his wife was NOT intentionally nagging and nitpicking, but was trying to connect. Their marriage changed when he realized this.

Timestamps

01:51—Emerson recaps Episode 20.

06:11—Ask this question before you confront your spouse.

07:19—A common issue among husbands.

10:20—Same message, different filter.

10:46—Letter from a listener: “I thought she was nagging and nitpicking.”

14:55—She was majoring on the minor things, or so he thought.

16:55—The mistakes we often make in conflict.

18:15—Always and never.

24:14—Male and female differences in the public arena.

25:47—“The winner didn’t feel affirmed and the loser did not feel heard.”

28:51—This is the Crazy Cycle.

31:32—A smart man needs to figure this out.

33:00—Uncapping the intimacy in your marriage.

34:15—Emerson appeals to a man’s sense of honor in this week’s Relationship Challenge.

Love & Respect Resources

Learn to understand your spouse better. Pick up a copy of Love & Respect in the online bookstore today.

Tell us your stories at podcast@loveandrespect.com.

Give the gift of Love and Respect this Christmas. More holiday sales are coming—stay tuned and get the latest on Facebook, Twitter, and in our newsletter.

Episode 020 - If a Husband Is Unrespectable Should a Wife Show Him Contempt and Disrespect? Nov 28, 2014

Emerson recently received the following question: How do you respect a man who has a habit of lying and going against everything the Word says? Emerson and Jonathan discuss how this wife can respond, but also more generally how wives can respond to behavior that isn't respectable.

Episode 019 - Why Do Good People Suffer? Nov 21, 2014

Episode 018 - Oh The Joy, God Sees Your Every Sacrifice In Your Marriage! Nov 14, 2014

Do you ever feel like what you are doing in your marriage isn't worth it? Through the story of the widow's mite, Emerson and Jonathan discuss why everything one does in their marriage matters, immensely so. Join them this week as they explain why nothing is wasted before God, even when it feels like nothing you are doing is effective.

Episode 017 - Why Should You Stop Talking To Your Husband? Nov 07, 2014

Episode 016 - How To Respect Your Husband When You Don't Oct 31, 2014