The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Two Couples Get Real About What Makes A Successful Couple - Christine Hassler & Stefanos Sifandos - 321 Dec 16, 2020

Show notes

Ever wonder what makes a successful couple? This week, my wife and I welcome back a returning guest Christine Hassler (and her partner!).We hosted this fun Q&A related to growth in relationships, marriage & raising kids.

Here’s one of the questions we answer in this podcast: What should I do if I'm growing, but my partner isn't? If you want to know the answer to this question, I invite you to listen to this interesting podcast.

Shownotes:

3:25 Introduction Christine Hassler and Stefanos Sifandos
5:00 How Christine and Stefanos met and the evolution of their relationship
18:10 Deciding to commit to a long-term partnership
21:25: How being involved in self-development jobs affects their relationship
28:55 How having kids impacted their relationship
31:55 Dealing with taking care of others instead of yourself
38:45 How does it feel to work with your partner
50:00 What to do when you are putting in the work but your partner is not
57:45 How the pandemic impacted their family dynamics
1:09:20 Action Step

Useful Links:
https://stefanossifandos.com/

https://christinehassler.com/

https://relationshipschool.com/training

Oxytocin Bonding In Relationships - Dr. C. Sue Carter, Ph.D. - 320 Dec 08, 2020

Show notes

Ever wonder why oxytocin is called the “Love Drug?” This week, Dr. Sue Carter, author of "Attachment and Bonding: A New Synthesis” joins me in a very interesting discussion on why oxytocin is one of the primary glues that keeps long-term relationships together.

According to Dr. Sue Carter, without oxytocin, we probably would not have been able to evolve into the complex creatures that we are today. If you have always wanted to know the relationship between oxytocin and attachment dynamics, you’ll want to check this out.

Shownotes:

2:50 Introduction - Dr. Sue Carter
10:15 Pair bonding, relationships and the origins of oxytocin
19:40 Oxytocin fluctuations and a sense of safety
17:45 The influence of oxytocin on our relationships
34:40 Effects of oxytocin on men and women
39:15 Action Step

Useful Links:

https://relationshipschool.com/training

How To Communicate Your Need For Connection In A Relationship - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 319 Dec 01, 2020

Show notes

In this week’s podcast, my wife Ellen and I continue the discussion on attachment dynamics and give tips for all you ‘pursuers.’

If you are the pursuer in your relationship who always wants to connect with your partner, especially under stress and anxiety, we want to help you learn how to communicate your need for connection better so you don’t drive the other person further away.

Here are two very important questions I ask all couples to think about:

Do we want the same kind of relationship? What do you really want out of the partnership?

Listen in as we answer these questions.

Shownotes:

1:45 Being there for yourself
5:20 Understanding your partner’s position
8:40 Letting your partner know that you care and want to understand them
11:35 Don’t expect others to behave as you want them to
13:20 You and your partner should act as a team
18:25: Action Step

Useful Links:

How To Communicate Your Need For Space In A Relationship - Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder - 318 Nov 23, 2020

Show notes

Here’s a scenario: You and your partner had a fight or disagreement. You want to talk about it; they don’t. Hmmm. How do you deal?

In this podcast, my wife Ellen and I give you a few tips for you avoidant-types on how to deal with your partner who always wants a connection or wants to talk about it.

Here’s a critical question I ask space-takers to think about:

Does withdrawing relieve my partner or not? In other words, is my space-taking helpful to my partner and good for our relationship?

Listen in as we unpack this question.

Shownotes:

0:50: Distancing in relationships
6:25 Establishing a time limit on the time you take for yourself
10:30 Action Step

Useful Links:

https://relationshipschool.com/training

How To Raise A Boy To Be A Great Man - Michael Gurian - 317 Nov 17, 2020

Show notes

Did you know when males have an emotive experience, two parts of the brain lights up? And when females have an emotive experience, nine parts of the brain light up? You’re probably thinking, why just two parts with men and nine parts with women?

If you’re interested in brain differences that boys and girls experience from the time they start school throughout adulthood, you’ll want to check this out:

This week, New York Times best selling author of "The Wonder of Boys: What Parents, Mentors and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men” examines the inner life of boys; their physical, socio-emotional, and neurological development.

Michael believes that to improve male sensitivity in America, parents should adopt bi-strategic and multi-strategic parenting styles and raise boys (and girls) with resiliency, purpose, and doing emotive development that fits their sensitivity.

Shownotes:

3:05 Introduction Michael Gurian
5:20 Brain differences in education
10:10 Why men struggle more with therapy than women
21:50 How does empathy work inside the brain
27:00 How to raise boys in this day and age
34:15 What parents should keep in mind when rising girls
41:35 Action Step

Useful Links:

Dealing With A Partner Who Is Depressed, Distant, or Too Busy - Jayson Gaddis - 316 Nov 11, 2020

Show notes

What happens when you’re in a relationship with someone who’s dealing with depression and is being distant? Should you stay or should you give them an ultimatum?

In this week’s podcast, that was just one of the questions I answered from one of our listeners' posts in the Relationship School Facebook group.

I covered a lot of ground in the sex and relationships category from polyamorous relationships in the context of post-betrayal to dealing with relationship dissatisfaction. Some pretty intense stuff.

Here’s one of the other questions I answered in this new podcast:

No one talks about the sex slowing down in a long-term relationship. What is healthy and normal and what is not?

If you want to know the answer to this question and more relationship advice, I invite you to listen to my new podcast.

Check it out.

Shownotes:

1:30 Being in a relationship with someone who takes anti-depressives
5:45 Being the one who always takes the initiative to work on the relationship
8:45 Can polyamorous relationships solve partnership problems?
11:45 Benefits of men being part of a men’s group
13:35 Sex frequency in long term relationships
15:15 When can being too demanding cause dissatisfaction?
19:50 Supporting each other in conflicts with other people

https://relationshipschool.com/training

Resmaa Menakem on Trauma & White Body Supremacy - Resmaa Menakem - 315 Nov 04, 2020

Show notes

Somatic Abolitonist, Resmaa Menakem, shares a true story about racial discrimination between the police and his family.

He also challenges the hell out of me.

Man, this was a good one, very intense. I learned a ton.

I continue to learn about how me, as a white heterosexual male, can improve in the area of race, equity and diversity.

This is a pretty charged episode. Trigger warning.

Check it out.

Shownotes:

5:25 Introduction Resmaa Menakem
9:35 Fearing racism deep-rooted in society
15:05 The necessary work to make a shift in society
21:30 How white people can address racial problems and understand black people
34:00 How trauma stays in people’s bodies and transforms through time
35:00 Cultural baggage
37:20 Racism manifested in police agencies
49:05 Diversity, equity, and inclusion trainings
58:10 What does the work of healing cultural trauma looks like for white people
1:11:35 How training black people differs from training white people
1:21:50 Action step

Useful Links:

A Mother's Personal Journey with Attachment - Bethany Saltman - 314 Oct 28, 2020

Show notes

We continue our discussion from last week’s podcast with my wife Ellen on attachment dynamics. This week, writer Bethany Saltman, author of a "Strange Situation: A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment” breaks down her own experience with attachment after diving head first in the research.

If you are unsure if you are “secure” or “insecure” and how that might impact your adult partnership or future family, you’ll want to check this out.

Shownotes:

3:25 Introduction Bethany Saltman
9:45 Bowlby & Ainsworth’s Attachment Theory
21:30 Bethany’s relationship with her daughter
27:00 Understanding attachment theory to improve parenting
32:40 Teenagers' bad behavior
35:50 Thoughtful and deeper relationships through attachment theory
47:35 Action step

How to Work with Different Attachment Styles - Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder - 313 Oct 21, 2020

Show notes

Here’s a scenario: You want to talk about something that is bothering you, but your partner tells you they need some time to think and walks away.

You end up feeling frustrated and ignored for the rest of the day. Sounds familiar, right? Then this new podcast will shed some serious light on this dynamic.

If you are interested in attachment dynamics, you’ll appreciate this podcast.

My wife Ellen and I answer some of your questions about attachment styles posted directly from our Instagram followers

Shownotes:

4:10 Understanding and healing what pushes your partner away
9:05: Working together with others who have a different attachment style
16:50: Willingness to work on yourself and with others
19:50: What if you or your partner struggle with being empathetic
25:00 Action Step

Useful Links:

Resolving Trauma with Psychedelics & MDMA - Dr. Rick Doblin, Ph.D. - 312 Oct 13, 2020

Show notes

Using psychedelics to resolve trauma wasn’t something I was aware of when I first started experimenting over 30 years ago. The research has exploded as well as the positive outcomes for people with PTSD.

In this interview, I speak to one of the leading authorities on psychotherapy and psychedelics, Rick Doblin. Rick is such a trail-blazer.

If you have questions about how “safe” or “effective psychedelics are for your healing journey, this is a must listen. We cover MDMA, psilocybin, LSD, and ayahuasca.

Shownotes:

4:00 Introduction Rick Doblin
10:50 How to handle bad experiences with psychedelics
13:55 Using psychedelics recreationally and facilitators for growth 33:30 Experimental studies about the use of psychedelics
47:45 Psychedelics and psychotherapy
1:00:30: Using psychedelics alone vs. doing it with others
1:11:15 Action Step

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