The Intentional Parents Podcast

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Hopelessness, Bitterness, Simmering Resentment, Passive-Aggressiveness, and Everyday Forgiveness in Close Relationships May 28, 2025

Show notes

This week, all four of us sit down for a meaningful conversation about everyday forgiveness — small, often-overlooked moments of hurt that show up in our closest relationships and call for repair. Whether it's with a spouse, parent, friend, or coworker, these minor offenses can quietly accumulate and widen the distance between us — unless we learn to close the gap before it becomes a chasm.

Diane shares a personal story of a generational pattern of unforgiveness in her family of origin and how it shapes the way she responds to hurt. We each reflect on how unforgiveness can quietly manifest in our lives — as self-pity, hopelessness, bitterness, simmering resentment, passive-aggressiveness, or even “scanning for rejection.”

Turning to Scripture, we explore powerful examples of radical forgiveness — including some of Jesus’ final words on the cross — and what it means to forgive not just once, but “seventy times seven.”

Drawing from our own relationships, we talk about why forgiveness becomes easier when we understand a loved one’s story and emotional triggers. We also offer three practical ways to express everyday forgiveness and return to a truth we’ve seen time and again: rupture and repair build resilience.

Forgiveness isn’t a one-time act — it’s ongoing, relational, and essential. Tune in to discover how you can begin practicing this spiritual rhythm in your daily life.

Scripture Mentioned: Ephesians 4:32, Psalm 23, Matthew 6:9-13, Philippians 4:6, Psalm 119:11, Hebrews 12:15, Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 23:34, Acts 7:54-60, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Romans 12:18

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Parenting with Scars + Becoming the Parent We Needed (A Conversation w/ A.J. Swoboda) May 21, 2025

Show notes

This week, we’re thrilled to welcome back our dear friend A.J. Swoboda — author, professor, theologian, lay pastor, and fellow podcaster — for an honest conversation about what it means to parent while carrying our own scars. Like physical ones, emotional scars tell the story of pain endured and healing found.

We talk about the reality that many of us are giving our kids something we never received — emotional health, spiritual guidance, or intentional presence. While that’s a beautiful gift, it can also bring up unexpected feelings of shame or even jealousy as we confront the gaps in our own stories.

We discuss some practical tools for parenting with scars, including Jon Tyson’s Primal Path, a discipleship program for fathers and sons. We also reflect on how our children often become the ones who draw our scars into the light, asking questions that push us to face painful parts of our past.

Ultimately, we highlight the fact that healing is a slow, intentional process — and how parenting through our scars invites both challenge and redemption. We found our conversation with A.J. to be rich, emotional, and full of hope — and we think you will too.

Book Mentioned: His Face like Mine: Finding God's Love in Our Wounds by Russell W. Joyce

Previous Episode Mentioned: Procedural Memory: How God Redeems Reflexes, Rewrites Patterns and Renews the Mind (Spotify + Apple Podcasts)

Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 2:24

A.J. Swoboda:

Slow Theology Podcast

Newsletter

Instagram

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The Boring Years, Spiritual Formation in the Shadows, Beneath the Routine, and Praying the Ordinary May 14, 2025

Show notes

Do you ever catch yourself wishing away the ordinary, mundane days of parenting — those moments that feel repetitive, exhausting, or spiritually dry? Maybe you carry guilt for not “praying enough,” or wonder when you’ll ever have space for deep spiritual encounters again.

In this week’s episode, Brook and Elizabeth invite you to reimagine what prayer looks like in the midst of diapers, dishes, and daily routines. They explore the idea of praying the ordinary — cultivating an inner posture of attentiveness, availability, and surrender in even the most mundane moments.

Drawing from real-time personal experiences, they share how to incorporate breath prayers into your day, practical ways to invite God into the small things, common obstacles to practicing ordinary prayer — and how to overcome them.

With honesty and hope, Brook and Elizabeth remind us that you are never too ordinary for the presence of God. He delights in showing up in the unnoticed spaces, and there is a heavenly reward for living in righteousness and rejoicing in the ordinary.

Breath Prayers You Can Borrow:

Inhale: “Lord, you’re my strength.” Exhale: “Help me love with patience.”
Inhale: “You know my child.” Exhale: “Better than I do.”
Inhale: “Father, shape my heart…” Exhale: “…to reflect yours”
Inhale: “I surrender control.” Exhale: “I trust your care.”
Inhale: “Come, Holy Spirit.” Exhale: “Guide my parenting today.”

Scripture Mentioned: Colossians 3:17, Genesis 1:26-28, Revelation 3:19-20, Psalm 23 + Romans 12:1

Books Mentioned: Prayer by Richard Foster, Domestic Monastery: Creating Spiritual Life at Home by Ronald Rolheiser, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence + Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life by Tish Harrison Warren

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Unlearning Together, The Cost of Humility in Culture and Teachability in the Everyday Mess of Family Life (Interview w/ A.J. Swoboda) May 07, 2025

Show notes

This week, Brook sits down once again with author, professor, theologian, lay pastor, and podcaster A.J. Swoboda to talk about the importance of having a teachable spirit in today’s world. Centered around his latest book, A Teachable Spirit, this episode invites listeners to see teachability not just as a personality trait, but as a deeply spiritual discipline.

We begin by naming a sobering truth: “We have become a culture that demands repentance but shames people who actually do it.” In response, A.J. points us to a better way — the way of Jesus — urging us to become teachable people rooted in humility and grace.

Starting with the definition of a teachable spirit, we explore the role of humility, the difference between teachability and impressionability, how we remain teachable in marriage and parenting, the value of repair with our kids, and the gift of childlike faith — pointing out the countercultural idea that “things are better when kids are in the room.” A.J. also previews the groups in his book that we must learn how to learn from: experts, the dead, strangers, culture, children, and more — even when it's uncomfortable for us as Christians.

Ultimately, we land on the “why” behind it all: why is this posture essential to the mission of the Church? A.J. ends with a moving picture of extreme humility and teachability — carried all the way to our last dying breath.

Our conversation is full of humor, vulnerability, depth, insight, and, of course, humility. If you’re longing to grow — or simply wondering what it means to become a more teachable person — don’t miss this one.

A.J. Swoboda:

A Teachable Spirit,

Subversive Sabbath

Other Books,

Website,

Slow Theology Podcast,

Newsletter

Instagram

Scripture Mentioned: 2 Peter 3:16, Daniel 1, Genesis 2:20-24, Matthew 19:13-15, Luke 6, John 7 + Matthew 16

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Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting Resource

Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down: A Balanced Approach of Correction + Connection in Discipline Apr 30, 2025

Show notes

Do you ever find yourself at a loss when it comes to disciplining your children as they move beyond the toddler years? Do you wish you could instantly curb the pushback, mood swings, and moments of disrespect?

This week, we discuss our Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting resource, which reframes how we respond to our children’s behaviors by emphasizing both correction and connection.

After all, God has hard-wired us all for connection — and this should dictate how we relate to our kids, no matter the circumstances. Looking to Jesus as the model for demonstrating both kindness and firmness, we emphasize not only the importance of each, but also the order in which we respond to outbursts or misbehavior.

We explore the two extremes we often see in parenting: 1) the authoritarian, emotionless “because I said so” style focused solely on squashing the behavior and 2) the overemphasis on emotional validation without any sense of firm boundaries or consequences.

So how do we strike that balance? Tune in to find out!

Scripture Mentioned: Romans 11:22, Romans 2:4, Proverbs 3:11-12, Proverbs 22:6, John 1:14, Psalm 94:19, Proverbs 15:1 + 4, Proverbs 29:17 + Matthew 11:28

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Forest Home Family Camp: Week 6 (All four of us are speaking!)

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Character, Dying to Self in Marriage + Modeling Biblical Manhood (Interview with Kirk Cameron) Apr 16, 2025

Show notes

This week, Brook sits down with actor, author, and producer Kirk Cameron for a powerful conversation about faith, marriage, and what it means to live as a man of God.

While many remember Kirk from his prominent roles in the Growing Pains TV series and the Left Behind films, his story goes far beyond the screen. He shares how a shift from atheism to Christianity as a teenager altered the trajectory of his life, leading him to become a devoted husband, father of six, and now a grandfather.

We talk about Kirk’s new kids’ show, Iggy and Mr. Kirk, streaming on BRAVE+, created to offer low-stimulation, character-focused content in a world full of noise.

Kirk also shares rich wisdom on marriage, describing it as “a school you enroll in to learn how to die to yourself.” He challenges the cultural narrative that marriage is about happiness, reframing it as a path to holiness and covenantal love. Kirk dropped this memorable alliteration when it comes to marriage: “If you focus on rights, you’ll promote rebellion. But if you focus on responsibilities, you create the conditions for revival.”

The episode closes with a meaningful reflection on biblical manhood — how to model it for our sons, even if we didn’t have it modeled for us. Kirk points to meekness as a defining trait: strength and power, willingly submitted to the authority of God.

This episode is packed with truth, encouragement, and clarity for anyone striving to live and lead with purpose. Don’t miss it!

Kirk Cameron Resources: Iggy and Mr. Kirk, BRAVE+ Streaming Platform + Website

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Marriage Retreat: SOLD OUT

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Procedural Memory: How God Redeems Reflexes, Rewrites Patterns and Renews the Mind Apr 09, 2025

Show notes

This week, we explore procedural memory — the unconscious, long-term memory that drives us to perform actions automatically. Shaped by childhood experiences and behaviors modeled by our parents, procedural memory often feels like running on autopilot or slipping into default mode, especially in how we respond under pressure. It’s that reflexive reaction, internal or external, that surfaces when we’re provoked — sometimes leading to an action you once promised yourself you’d never repeat, perhaps because it’s something you watched your parents do.

Once we define the concept, we unpack how to break harmful procedural memory patterns and how, in turn, we can form healthier reflexive habits. While acknowledging our shortcomings and the reality that we will inevitably pass down some forms of negative behavior to our children, we quickly reach a place of incredible hope.

We examine the process of transformation and redemption outlined in Scripture, drawing from the hopeful call in Romans 12:1-2 to offer ourselves as living sacrifices and be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

By sharing personal stories of generational healing and redemption within our own family, we testify to the ways God has reshaped our hearts and minds, unveiling His power, patience, and grace in the process.

This episode is packed with practical tips, scriptural truths, raw vulnerability, and radical hope.

Prayers to Pray:

“God, help us unlearn what hurt us and relearn what heals us.”

“Help us live in ways that our bodies, our families and our children will remember as love.”

Scripture Mentioned: Romans 12:1-2, Hebrews 5:14, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Galatians 1:17, Romans 5:8, Psalm 118:27, 1 Corinthians 11:1, Philippians 4:9, Matthew 12:34, Romans 7:15-20, 1 John 3:19-20, Romans 8:1, Romans 8:6, Genesis 50:15-21, Romans 5:10,

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Spiritual Formation in Motherhood: Announcing the Intentional Motherhood Retreat 2025 in Portland, Oregon! Apr 02, 2025

Show notes

This week, Elizabeth and Diane make an exciting announcement: The Intentional Motherhood Retreat is BACK for 2025 — this time, in Portland, Oregon from October 23-25! They discuss what the retreat is all about, why you should come, and what to expect if you haven’t been before.

As retreat speakers and hosts, Elizabeth and Diane reflect on the deep connections, vulnerability, and transformation experienced in past years — building anticipation for what’s to come in 2025.

This retreat is for women who desire to be mothers some day, all the way to grandmothers, and everyone in between — mothers of babies, toddlers, young children, teenagers, and adult children. This intergenerational gathering is a chance for all ages and stages of mothers to learn from one another, encourage each other, and simply be together. Because motherhood isn’t meant to be done alone.

The late Dallas Willard said “Spiritual formation…can’t be a private thing… It is a matter of whole-life transformation. You need to seek out others in your community who are pursuing the renovation of the heart.”

And that is exactly what we are going to do together. So come join us October 23rd through 25th for the Intentional Motherhood Retreat in Portland. We can’t wait to see you!

Scripture Mentioned: Colossians 2:2-3

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Marriage Retreat: SOLD OUT

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Unlocking the Power of Emotional Intelligence In Ourselves and In Our Kids Mar 26, 2025

Show notes

This week, we’re diving into the topic of emotional intelligence — the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in both ourselves and those around us. Developing emotional intelligence helps us navigate life with maturity and stability, while also equipping us to guide our children in naming and managing their emotions with confidence and care.

At its core, emotional intelligence is built on four key components: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. These elements work together to shape how we understand ourselves, navigate our emotions, and connect with others.

In this episode, we explore each of these components, acknowledging that some may come more naturally than others. We also take a closer look at generational differences in emotional intelligence and how we can break unhealthy patterns to cultivate emotional well-being for both ourselves and our kids.

Join us for a candid and thought-provoking conversation filled with wisdom, reflection, encouragement, and scripture!

Book Mentioned: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Jean Greaves, Travis Bradberry and Patrick M. Lencioni

Scripture Mentioned: 2 Corinthians 7:10, Ephesians 4:26, Genesis 4:6, Ephesians 4:25-32, Jonah 4, Psalm 4:4, Proverbs 16:32, Proverbs 17:22, Psalm 32:3-5, Psalm 19:11, Psalm 19:14, Philippians 2:3-4, Galatians 4:19 + Romans 13:8-10

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