The Intentional Parents Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Why Is It So Hard to Find Friends and Even Harder to Keep Them? Sep 23, 2026

Show notes

As part of our “Stay In Your Cell” series, we pose the question: Why is it so hard to find community, and even harder to stay in it? When the family is growing and the calendar is full, it's easy to not send the text, not make the plan, and slowly drift away from the people in our lives. Plus, our culture hands us an easy exit whenever things get uncomfortable: we can unfollow, leave the group chat, or leave the church, and before long we become relationally aloof. And if you're a young family with no relatives nearby and you're struggling, it may be because you were never meant to do this life alone.

We talk about how the early church in Acts wasn't built on everyone getting along perfectly or sharing the same life stage and preferences. It was built on being on mission together. Community is a mirror: it reveals our priorities and shows us whether we're hospitable, controlling, or somewhere in between, because we're letting people who aren't family see our weaknesses and our true selves. Inevitably, people will annoy us and church will bother us, but sometimes healing is on the other side of being known, and we can't be known without staying involved.

We close with four ways to find and keep community: choose your people before you need your people, practice confession often, repair before replacing, and become the friend you keep wishing you had. Not everyone has to know everything, but some people have to know most things. You can't be deeply known if you're always starting over. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can stop critiquing the people around us, stay faithful, and choose to grow right where we've been planted.

Scripture Mentioned: James 5:16, Acts 2:42, Colossians 3:13, Galatians 6:2 + Proverbs 18:24

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting Edition

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FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF

FREE Text Message Daily Devotional

Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

The Intentional Film Series

Why Can’t I Stay Where I Am? Learning to Be Content With Your Actual Life Sep 16, 2026

Show notes

We're kicking off a new series called "Stay in Your Cell," and it starts with a question we've both been sitting with: why can't we stay where we are, in the current life we actually have?

Before we get there, we share an update on the last eight weeks: Elizabeth's ongoing chronic back pain, and how it's shaping the honesty we're bringing into this conversation. We're in this with you, frustrations and all.

The series title comes from a saying attributed to the Desert Mothers and Fathers: “Stay in your cell, and it will teach you everything.” Your cell is your home, your job, your community, the actual life in front of you, not the one you're imagining somewhere else. We talk about the difference between being called away from a place and simply being unable to remain in one, and why our generation in particular struggles to stay: bigger houses, nicer cars, a different kid, a different spouse, or just the quiet pull of a screen that makes escape easier than it's ever been. We're honest that escaping doesn't require leaving. Sometimes it's just a phone in your hand while your actual life waits in the next room, and even if you did leave, the same root discontentment would follow you.

We land on four practices for learning to stay: naming your escape fantasy (finishing the sentence "if ________ changed, things would be better"), practicing receiving your actual life, building a rule of life for the season you're really in, and refusing to make big decisions out of temporary restlessness. Grounded in Philippians 4 and Romans 5, this episode is an honest, hope-anchored conversation on contentment, perseverance, and the ordinary life you've been given to actually live.

Scripture Mentioned: Philippians 4:11-13 + Romans 5:3-5

Books Mentioned: What Grows in Weary Lands by Tish Harrison Warren + Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren

Previous Episode Mentioned: 20 Years From Now: What You'll Wish You Focused On As a Parent (w/ Sally Lemos, MS, LPC) (Spotify, Apple Podcasts + YouTube)

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting Edition

Join Our Legacy Builders

FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF

FREE Text Message Daily Devotional

Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

The Intentional Film Series

5 Questions Parents & Adult Kids Need to Ask Each Other Sep 09, 2026

Show notes

Healthy families keep getting to know each other. We tend to think we already know our family, but people change, and when we stop asking questions, we start assuming intentions instead. Jesus ran into this too: in John 14, he asks Philip, “Don’t you know me...even after I have been among you such a long time?” Even Paul kept pursuing "that I may know him" in Philippians 3, present tense, never finished. If our relationship with Jesus keeps evolving, so does every relationship we're in, and that includes the people at our own table.

In this episode, we walk through five conversation starters, mostly for adult kids and their parents, though they work with siblings, friends, or your own teenager too. This is less about family trivia and more about what actually formed the people you love.

5 Questions to Ask:

Who were you before you were my parent?
What happened to you that shaped you more than I realized?
What was it actually like to be you in our family?
Is there anything between us that makes it harder to be close?
Who are you becoming, and how can I love you well now?

When someone's answer is hard to hear, we talk about the one response that changes everything. Don't defend or explain. Simply say "tell me more." If you’re willing to ask brave questions, be prepared for brave answers. One piece of wisdom before you press play: don't ask all five at once. Pick one question, one person, and let it unfold over time, since getting to know each other isn't a one-time project, it's a lifelong rhythm. And as you go, ask the Holy Spirit to give you discernment for what to ask and when, and watch him do healing work in places you didn't even know needed it.

Scripture Mentioned: John 14:9, Philippians 3:10, Matthew 13:1-23, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Proverbs 28:1 + Psalm 139:23-24

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting Edition

Join Our Legacy Builders

FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF

FREE Text Message Daily Devotional

Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

The Intentional Film Series

We Love Each Other. So Why Is Marriage This Hard? Sep 02, 2026

Show notes

This week, we open up about Sowing a Hidden Seed: Daily Prayers for Your Marriage to Heal, Grow and Flourish, our new prayer devotional for marriage, and the honest, sometimes hard road that led us to write it. This isn't a book born from a picture-perfect marriage. It came from a real one: two people who have had to learn, over and over, that marriage is worth the fight even when it's hard.

We walk through the heart of the devotional and where it came from, including a reflection from the Sermon on the Mount on what it looks like to be blessed and flourishing, even in the middle of struggle. We talk honestly about how neither of us can thrive in marriage on our own strength. We need the power of the Holy Spirit. We also share how the writing process itself became a lesson in marriage: two people learning, again, what it means to become one.

From there, we read from two of our favorite (and hardest won) days in the devotional: “Speaking Life” and “Tenderness,” days that speak directly to areas we've each had to grow in. We talk about the practice of praying borrowed prayers when you don't have your own words yet. And ultimately, we emphasize the comforting reality that if you and your spouse aren't currently praying together, that's okay. Give yourself permission to start where you are. It will feel awkward at first, and it gets easier as you build a joint practice of prayer.

If you're not praying together as a couple, let this be your invitation to start, one small, imperfect prayer at a time.

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.

Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 5:1-12

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting Edition

Join Our Legacy Builders

FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF

FREE Text Message Daily Devotional

Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

The Intentional Film Series

Supporting a Struggling Spouse, Honoring Different Values, and Parenting Without a Blueprint (Q+R) Aug 26, 2026

Show notes

This week, Brook and Elizabeth answer your real questions on marriage, ministry life, and parenting without a blueprint. First, we tackle supporting a spouse through mental health challenges and healing work, while avoiding enabling and codependency. This often requires doing your own work, not hiding behind theirs. It's easy to excuse yourself because your spouse "has more to heal from," but compassion and personal growth have to go together.

Next, we dive into staying yourself while honoring a spouse who values structure more than you do, starting with remembering your differences aren't a problem to fix. Sameness was never the goal. It's worth knowing which hills are actually worth dying on.

From there, we talk about the myth of true balance between parenting and ministry. Some seasons ask more of your work, some ask more of your family, and they rarely line up neatly. What matters is stepping back to check the ratio over the long haul, so one area isn't quietly draining another.

We also get into parenting without a healthy example growing up, and why it takes real intention. You need models, whether that's books, podcasts, or watching other families closely, because even a good childhood didn't prepare anyone for parenting in today's world. The real turning point is recognizing a pattern isn't working before you can choose something different.

Finally, we land on what to do when you're too exhausted or brain dead to spend time with the Lord. We talk about how He isn't guilting you into showing up. He sees your exhaustion and still wants to connect inside of it, which is why ritual matters so much, so you do it regardless of how you feel that day. He's not asking you to try harder, just to come as you are.

If any of this sounds familiar, we hope it's a reminder that you're not walking through any of this alone.

Scripture Mentioned: James 1:2-5 + John 5:39-40

Book Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser

Previous Episode Mentioned: You're Not Broken: Finding Freedom and Clarity Through an Adult ADHD Diagnosis (YouTube, Spotify + Apple Podcasts)

INTRODUCING… Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition, a 31-day prayer devotional for marriage, available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community.

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting Edition

Join Our Legacy Builders

FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF

FREE Text Message Daily Devotional

Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

The Intentional Film Series

I Thought My Life Would Be Different By Now Aug 19, 2026

Show notes

Are you disappointed? In your marriage, your kids, your job, your friendships, even your relationship with Jesus? Maybe there's a quiet voice saying "it could be better," and you're not sure what to do with that.

This week, we sit with disappointment: what it actually is, what Scripture says about it, and how it can become a place of growth instead of just a place of hurt. We share honestly from our own lives, including the disappointment we've walked through around physical pain and suffering, and the very human instinct to protect ourselves from ever being let down again. Choosing to hope is a risk. It means choosing to be disappointed too, and we talk about what it looks like to take that risk anyway, and to ask a better question than "why did this happen": what will bring God glory in this?

We look at what disappointment brings to the surface: hidden expectations, unhealthy attachments, the places where we've been grasping for control, and false assumptions about God and about other people. Scripture never treats disappointment as a failure of faith. It gives us lament instead of denial, a way to bring our full, honest selves to God rather than around Him.

We also draw from the Desert Mothers and Fathers, who saw disappointment as part of spiritual formation itself, and from Elisabeth Elliot's reminder that the secret was never a different set of circumstances, but Christ in her. That's the destination we're aiming for: not the removal of disappointment, but a deeper trust inside of it.

Four practical ways to move through disappointment:

Name it
Examine the expectation beneath it
Feel it without numbing it
Surrender what you cannot control

Scripture Mentioned: Psalm 13:1, Psalm 22:1, Proverbs 13:12, Luke 22:39-44, 1 Samuel 1 and 2 + Psalm 6:6

INTRODUCING… Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition, a 31-day prayer devotional for marriage, available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community.

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting Edition

Join Our Legacy Builders

FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF

FREE Text Message Daily Devotional

Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

The Intentional Film Series

Telling Your Story: The 4 Stories Every Family Needs to Pass Down Aug 12, 2026

Show notes

This week, Elizabeth sits down with her parents, Phil and Diane, for a follow-up on our conversation on generations. If the previous episode cast the vision for the role of a grandparent, this episode gets practical: what does it actually look like to set the table and bridge the gap between generations?

We talk through four stories every parent and grandparent needs to be telling, stories that give our kids and grandkids a cohesive picture of what a life with God actually looks like. The first is our salvation story, the story of how we came to truly walk with Jesus. The second is our calling story, which isn't only about ministry work. It includes our vocation, our roles, our passion projects, and the stories behind how we found them, with the reminder that gifting usually grows slowly, rarely on the timeline we'd choose. The third is our God-working story, a look at what He has done and what He is doing, told as a whole journey rather than a highlight reel. And the fourth is our generational story. This is the story of our own family, both the hard parts and the good ones, so our kids gain a compassionate framework for where their people came from, along with a clear sense of what to carry forward and what to leave behind.

Underneath all of it is a quiet act of resistance. In a culture quick to cancel parents instead of seeking healing with them, telling these stories honestly, including the unanswered prayers and the hard chapters, is how we choose repair over rupture. Psalm 145 says one generation shall praise God's works to another, and shall eagerly utter the abundance of His goodness. That's not just a nice verse. It's a description of what we're actually called to do.

This episode is a practical, story-shaped conversation on legacy, honesty, and what it means to hand your family a true picture of God's faithfulness, one generation at a time.

Previous Episode Mentioned: More Than Spectators: The Unique Role of Grandparents in Leaving a Legacy for the Next Generation (Spotify, Apple Podcasts + YouTube)

Scripture Mentioned: Psalm 145:3-7, Psalm 107:2, John 4:1-42, Ephesians 2:10, Proverbs 22:29, Psalms 145:8-19 + Proverbs 4:7

Books Mentioned: He Speaks in the Silence, Garden City + Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

Practicing the Way Genogram Workbook

Primal Path

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed

Join Our Legacy Builders

FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF

FREE Text Message Daily Devotional

Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

The Intentional Film Series

Creating a Family Culture: Traditions, Rituals + Moments of Connection Aug 05, 2026

Show notes

Is the culture of your family built in the vision statement or on Sunday nacho night?

This week, we talk about what actually forms a family: not the big goals we write down, but the small, repeated moments nobody puts on a calendar. We unpack why connection, rather than correction, is the real foundation kids launch from and come back to.

We talk through what works against us: fragmented schedules, everyone on their own device, and different emotional worlds, creating a family life that just happens instead of one we build on purpose. And we get honest about the cost. Saying yes to being the house all the teenagers hang out at costs something, including time, noise, groceries, and other inconveniences. But it also puts your kids on mission with you, right in your own living room.

We walk through three small, doable shifts: shared rituals that build belonging, connection before correction, and presence over perfection. It's not about doing more. It's about protecting what's already there.

Along the way, we get specific, sharing some of our own family's traditions, moments of connection, and the little rhythms that have quietly become the culture of our homes.

This episode is a personal, Scripture-anchored conversation on family rhythms, hospitality, and raising kids who know home is a safe place to come back to.

4 Things to Try This Week:

Protect one daily touchpoint.
Eliminate one barrier.
Practice full attention moments.
Create one weekly rhythm.

Scripture Mentioned: 2 Peter 1:13, Deuteronomy 6:4-9 + Psalm 65

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed

Join Our Legacy Builders

FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF

FREE Text Message Daily Devotional

Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

The Intentional Film Series

The Lie of "I'm Not Enough" in the Age of Information Jul 29, 2026

Show notes

In a world where parenting advice is always at our fingertips, why do so many of us feel like we're failing? In this episode, we talk about the pressure to get parenting "right," the anxiety that comes from endless information, and the lie so many mothers carry: I'm not enough. Drawing from responses at our recent Motherhood Retreat, we explore what Scripture says about dependence on God, including Jesus' words, "Blessed are the poor in spirit," and the reminder in 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 that our sufficiency comes from Him, and not from mastering the latest parenting technique.

We also discuss what it looks like to quiet the noise by curating your inputs, discerning truth from subtle lies, returning to the actual child God has entrusted to you, and embracing the limitations of your current season. Rather than striving for perfect formulas, we're invited to listen for the Holy Spirit's unique guidance for our families. We close by resting in God's promise from Isaiah 41:10, remembering that His presence, strength and grace are enough.

Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 5:3, 2 Corinthians 3:4-6, Luke 5:16, Psalm 139:23-24, 2 Corinthians 12:9 + Isaiah 41:10

Books Mentioned: Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Jacques Philippe

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed

Join Our Legacy Builders

FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF

FREE Text Message Daily Devotional

Raising Passionate Jesus Followers

The Intentional Film Series

Grief + Hope: Infertility, Miscarriage and the Weight of Waiting (w/ Chad and Hillary Blake) Jul 22, 2026

Show notes

This week, we sit down with Chad Blake, Executive Director of Intentional, and his wife Hillary, dear friends who share their personal journey through infertility, miscarriage, grief, and ultimately, hope. With honesty and vulnerability, they reflect on the pain of longing to grow their family, the challenges of navigating infertility, and the ways God’s faithfulness sustained them through seasons of deep suffering and uncertainty.

Throughout the conversation, Chad and Hillary share what it was like to walk through years of uncertainty, prayerfully consider medical options, experience the heartbreak of pregnancy loss, and wrestle with questions about God’s presence in suffering. They discuss the unique ways infertility impacts both men and women, the loneliness that can accompany long seasons of waiting, and the importance of having people who are willing to sit with you in grief rather than trying to fix it. As they candidly share their experiences with miscarriage, anxiety, therapy, and healing, they offer wisdom for those walking through similar struggles and for those seeking to support loved ones dealing with infertility.

At the heart of this conversation is a powerful reminder that God is with us in our pain. Rather than offering easy answers or neatly tying a bow around suffering, Chad and Hillary explore how faith makes room for both joy and sorrow, grief and hope. They reflect on how seasons of pain and waiting turned theological theory into lived reality, and how God’s faithfulness through every chapter has deepened their trust in Him. Their story is a testimony that while suffering is real, it does not have the final word, and that even when hope feels foolish, God remains present, trustworthy, and at work.

Scripture Mentioned: John 11:35, Romans 8:28, John 14:9, John 1, Romans 4:18-22, Romans 5:3-5 + Luke 11:5-10

Books Mentioned: The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis, A Grace Disguisedby Jerry L. Sittser

Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, OR

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TX

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalparents.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.

Sowing a Hidden Seed

Join Our Legacy Builders

FREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDF