Stay ConnectedNEW PODCAST SERIES HOSTED BY VANESSA BENNETT
Vanessa Bennett, LMFT, is a licensed depth psychotherapist, author, and facilitator known for her no-nonsense yet compassionate approach to healing. She’s the author of The Motherhood Myth and coauthor of It’s Not Me, It’s You, and the founder of Inner Compass Academy. She hosts the Inner Compass Podcast, where she explores the intersection of depth psychology, relationships, and cultural conditioning to support personal and collective liberation.
Copyright: © Vanessa Bennett
This week, we're re-releasing one of our most listened to episode to date, just in case you missed it!
Most of us were raised inside an invisible contract: if you try hard enough, improve yourself enough, and play your role well enough, you’ll be loved, safe, and chosen. So we become diligent students of “better.” Better habits. Better productivity. Better mindset. Better communication.
But when that contract stops working, it’s not a personal failure. It’s often the psyche refusing to keep participating. In Episode 1, Vanessa Bennett, LMFT explores the difference between growth and self-optimization as a survival strategy, how people-pleasing and overfunctioning once kept you attached, and why your anxiety, burnout, or identity unraveling may be a threshold into something more honest. You’ll leave with prompts and one “micro-moment” practice to start rebuilding an inner compass you can trust.
If this landed, follow the show, share it, and leave a rating or review.
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
What if you’re told you have to forgive in order to heal, and something in you resists? In this episode, Vanessa answers a listener question from one of her live Q&As about what forgiveness really is, what we often call forgiveness when it’s something else, and why rushing it can be one of the most self-abandoning things we do. She explores spiritual bypassing, anger as information, the difference between deciding to forgive and feeling it, and how forgiveness gets tangled up with codependency and the fear of being left. It’s an episode about grief, self-forgiveness, and the timeline that belongs only to you.
For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week, we’re re-releasing our most listened to episode to date, just in case you missed it!
There’s a version of love many of us were trained into: the kind you earn. Be agreeable, be impressive, don’t need too much, don’t make waves. When belonging becomes conditional, love becomes performance, and shame becomes the inner enforcer that keeps you “good,” useful, and exhausted.
In Episode 2, Vanessa Bennett, LMFT explores how conditional belonging turns intimacy into obedience and management, why being “low maintenance” is often a survival strategy, and how over-attunement (often mislabeled as being an “empath”) can be a trauma response rooted in vigilance. You’ll learn the difference between healthy empathy vs trauma empathy, how to spot the somatic signs you’re performing safety, and two experiments to move from performance to presence: the pause and one honest sentence.
If this landed, follow the show, share it, and leave a rating or review.
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Can you actually do your own work while you're still living inside an imperfect relationship — dishes undone, feelings unresolved, your partner moving at a different pace? In this solo episode, Vanessa unpacks the silent agreements that quietly run every relationship, the fear hiding underneath over- and under-functioning, and why change that only shows up during a crisis rarely lasts. She reframes resentment as one of the most reliable guides to self-betrayal, not a flaw to fix, and lays out what doing your own work actually looks like in real time, with real stakes — including for the helpers and caregivers whose jobs run on their inability to say no. This is depth work on the difference between change that happens to you and change that belongs to you.
For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Why does the thing we long for most (real closeness, being truly seen) so often make us want to run? In this solo episode, Vanessa unpacks what happens in the nervous system when connection starts to feel unsafe, drawing on attachment theory, polyvagal theory, and depth psychology to explain the shutdown, the merge, and everything in between. She traces how early relational wounds get encoded in the body long before they show up as adult patterns, and offers a simple, uncomfortable practice for rewriting them: saying the true thing, especially when it's the hardest thing to say. This is depth work on what it actually takes to stay present in your own skin while someone else gets close.
For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Kelsey Crane found her way from unexplained infertility to the healing intimacy of soil — and from there, to writing climate fiction that refuses to look away from collapse or give up on hope. In this conversation, Vanessa and Kelsey trace the thread between fertility and land, motherhood and creative risk, and what it actually means to become an apprentice of regenerative living. They talk about self-publishing a debut novel in the stolen pockets of a busy life, the difference between despair and grief, and why permaculture's first rule — observe before you act — might be the most important thing any of us can learn about healing the earth and ourselves. This is depth work: about soil, story, and the courage to plant something you may never see fully grown.
For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.
GUEST LINKS
Kelsey Crane / The Exiles Series
https://www.theexilesseries.com/
The Vanishing — Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Vanishing-Book-One-Exiles/dp/B0HFCB846K
The Vanishing — Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/253169082-the-vanishing
Shop The Exiles Series
https://the-exiles-series.myshopify.com/collections/products
Instagram — @artforartssake
https://www.instagram.com/artforartssake/
TikTok — @thewildwriter
https://www.tiktok.com/@thewildwriter
Plant A Revolution — Substack
https://substack.com/@plantarevolution
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this episode, Vanessa sits down with New York Times bestselling author and intuitive Laura Day to talk about The Prism, intuition, ego, and what it actually takes to create a different life. Together they explore why transcendence can become a spiritual cop-out, why a strong “I” is necessary for relationship and impact, and how old childhood contracts can keep us recreating familiar patterns even when we think we are choosing something new. Laura brings her signature grounded approach to intuition, showing how practical change often comes through small, safe, repeated actions rather than dramatic reinvention. This is a conversation about ego, alchemy, responsibility, and learning how to recognize the life you say you want when it finally arrives.
GUEST LINKS
Laura Day
• Website: https://lauraday.com/
• The Prism: https://lauraday.com/product/the-prism/
• Events + Boot Camp: https://lauraday.com/events/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauradayintuit/
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this episode, Vanessa sits down with Dr. Shefali, clinical psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and pioneer of the conscious parenting movement, for a conversation about parenting as one of the most direct encounters with the parent’s unconscious. Together they explore projection, control, codependency, rupture, repair, and the painful ways parents can use children to soothe their own anxiety or fulfill an unlived life. Dr. Shefali also shares the heart behind her two new books, Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons, including how screens, algorithms, gender conditioning, and unconscious shame are shaping children today. This is a conversation about raising children by becoming more conscious ourselves—not more perfect, but more honest, attuned, and willing to repair.
Early applications for the next cohort of Inner Compass Academy are now open to the waitlist only.
If you’ve been feeling called toward deeper work with depth psychology, shadow, somatics, the unconscious, relational patterns, and learning how to hold space with more consciousness and integrity, this is the first window to apply.
The early application window is only open for one week. Those who submit during this window will receive early bird pricing, which is $200 off tuition, as well as access to extended payment plan options.
Again, this early application window is for the waitlist only, and it closes in one week.
Join the waitlist and find the application here:
https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy
Connect with Dr. Shefali Tsabary:
Website:
Books:
https://www.drshefali.com/books/
Raising Conscious Daughters:
https://books.google.com/books/about/Raising_Conscious_Girls.html?id=3nihEQAAQBAJ
Raising Conscious Sons:
https://books.google.com/books/about/Raising_Conscious_Sons.html?id=uXihEQAAQBAJ
Conscious Parenting / Dr. Shefali Courses:
https://courses.drshefali.com/
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/doctorshefali/
Podcast:
https://www.drshefali.com/podcast/
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
If you grew up learning that the safest thing you could do was manage the emotional environment, this episode is for you. Vanessa explores the Three C’s from codependency and Al-Anon recovery spaces: I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it. Through family systems, Bowen’s differentiation of self, Jungian ego inflation and individuation, detaching with love, and the grief underneath control, this episode looks at why overfunctioning, rescuing, fixing, and emotional caretaking often feel like love while secretly functioning as anxiety management. The invitation is not to stop caring, but to stop confusing love with responsibility for someone else’s healing.
Applications are now open to the public for Cohort 4 of Inner Compass Academy.
ICA is Vanessa’s 10-week depth psychology training for therapists, coaches, space holders, creatives, seekers, and anyone who wants to go beyond surface-level self-help and learn how to work more deeply with shadow, the unconscious, embodiment, relational patterns, dreams, archetypes, and the symbolic life.
This is not a program promising quick formulas or coaching scripts. It is a certificate training rooted in depth, Jungian theory, relationship, liberation psychology, and the kind of inner work that changes how we hold ourselves and others.
Cohort 4 begins September 13.
Learn more and apply here:
https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy
RESOURCES & REFERENCES
Al-Anon: The Three C’s
A reminder that you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it.
https://al-anon.org/pdf/P46_2003_web.pdf
Al-Anon Family Groups
Information and support for people affected by someone else’s drinking.
Melody Beattie: Codependent No More
A resource on codependency, boundaries, self-care, and the ways we can lose ourselves while trying to help someone else.
https://www.melodybeattie.com/codependentnomore
The Bowen Center: Differentiation of Self
An introduction to staying emotionally connected to others while maintaining a clear and distinct sense of self.
https://www.thebowencenter.org/differentiation-of-self
International Association for Analytical Psychology: Individuation
An introduction to the Jungian concept of individuation—the process of becoming more conscious and more fully yourself.
https://iaap.org/jung-analytical-psychology/short-articles-on-analytical-psychology/individuation-2/
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this episode, Vanessa sits down with Lizzie Tilia, spiritual guide, psychic, teacher, and founder of Earth Mystery School, for a conversation about intuition, earth-based practice, soul work, and what it means to take the unseen seriously without losing your ground. Together they explore Lizzie’s path from OCD, Catholic conditioning, and fear of the spirit world into psychic development, containment, and a more loving relationship with the unseen. They also talk about Jung’s collective unconscious, pan-cultural wisdom, spiritual performance, ego versus soul versus spirit work, and why some people need stronger ego structure before entering deeper soul or spiritual spaces. This is a conversation about intuition as a skill, discernment as devotion, and learning to become a good spiritual friend to yourself before trying to guide anyone else.
Applications are now open to the public for Cohort 4 of Inner Compass Academy. ICA is Vanessa’s 10-week depth psychology training for therapists, coaches, space holders, creatives, seekers, and anyone called toward deeper work with shadow, the unconscious, embodiment, dreams, archetypes, relational patterns, and the symbolic life.
Cohort 4 begins September 13. Learn more and apply here:
https://www.vanessabennett.com/inner-compass-academy
For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.
Connect with Lizzie Tilia:
Website: https://www.lizzietilia.com/
Earth Mystery School: https://www.earthmysteryschool.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizzietilia/
References:
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.
Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy
Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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