The Imperfects

Latest Episodes:

Luke Bateman - Gambling With My Life Sep 27, 2026

Show notes

Mid 20's and $250,000 in debt. Gripped by a gambling addiction. How do you recover?

💌 Join 9,500+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/

From the outside, it looked like Luke Bateman was living the dream: a professional NRL career with ludicrous pay checks and sponsorship deals.

On the inside, Luke was battling a crippling gambling addiction, deepening depression and a widening chasm between the character he was playing, and his true authentic self.

With immense courage, honesty and vulnerability, Luke takes Hugh, Ryan and Josh through the ups and downs of his recovery journey. Luke unpicks the difference between unconditional love and conditional help from his parents, and why his time in rehab was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Luke speaks about how his journey with addiction impacted his relationship with his mum, and the gratitude he feels for her now, and how learning about internal family systems changed his life forever.

Luke, you are such a beautiful person. Thank you for joining us today.

This episode discusses gambling addiction and suicidal ideation. Please take care when listening.

This episode is part of the BE HOPE Podcast Takeover, bringing podcasts around the world together to explore the themes of hope and how we can continue to make progress in a rapidly changing world - https://globalgoals.org/behope/

🚨If you, or someone you know is struggling with a gambling addiction

Call LifeLine - 13 11 14
Register at BetStop - betstop.gov.au
Gamblers Anonymous - https://bit.ly/3TJ1C6d
Gambling Help Online - gamblinghelponline.org.au
In an emergency, always call 000

🩵To hear our chat with Luke about The Manosphere and to join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

0:00 – Trailer: $250K of Gambling Debt
1:26 – Be Hope Podcast Takeover Announcement
4:15 – Luke Bateman doesn’t fit in a box
6:06 – Growing up ‘soft’ in Rural Queensland
10:03 – Hiding Books from the Boys
17:11 – The Shame of Reading
19:22 – Chasing a Dream to Fill the Void
22:26 – Money, Drugs & Alcohol in Professional Sport
27:40 – Lies, Debt & Betting Company ‘VIP’ Treatment
30:26 – Should Gambling Sponsorship Be Banned?
31:11 – Rock Bottom
33:18 – The Phone Call That Saved His Life
39:45 – Rehab, Recovery + Relinquishing Control
43:40 – Inside Rehab “Get a Real Addiction”
47:21 – Recovery Is Not Linear
50:21 – Internal Family Systems: Healing the exiled child
56:05 – Generational Masculinity: Why Men Struggle to Connect
58:19 – Denial + Corporate Greed
1:03:13 – Luke’s Honesty Policy
1:06:08 – Unconditional Love vs Conditional Help
1:10:18 – Sharing Shame with Teammates
1:11:37 – Luke’s Message to Anyone Struggling Right Now
1:13:03 – Finding Your Way Back

🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode

Jack’s Gambling Addiction Story - https://bit.ly/4hFQmk1

📚Things to read

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, by Kate DiCamillo - https://bit.ly/46FkS7v
Keys to the Kingdom, by Garth Nix - https://bit.ly/4AnBxKB
The Midnight Library, by Matt Haig - https://bit.ly/4d2Ozmx
No Bad Parts, by Richard C Scharwtz - https://bit.ly/46FSGkU
You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For, by Richard C Schwartz - https://bit.ly/3Tp0gx8

🎧Things to listen to

In The Good Books with Luke Bateman I Matt Haig: Writing What You Need to Hear - https://bit.ly/4jjvBvK

📱Things to check out

Luke’s Instagram (and his thoughts on male silence) - https://bit.ly/46AnIuy

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr Emily - The Phenomenon That Is Imposter Syndrome Sep 20, 2026

Show notes

Do you live in fear of being found out as a fraud? That despite your years of competency, achievement and high performance someone will uncover the truth?

Well, you’re in the right place. Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is here to tell you that your imposter syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it’s not even a syndrome.

💌 Get practical take-aways from this episode, and join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/

To get a little bit meta, Dr Emily explains that knowing that you don’t know everything, is a good thing. Especially if you’re starting a new role, or trying something for the first time.

HOWEVER, the long-term consequences of the imposter cycle such as perfectionism, overcompensation, burnout, or even avoidance and procrastination, may impact your willingness to say yes to new opportunities, such as going for that promotion or asking for support.

In this episode, Dr Emily asks Hugh, Ryan and Josh to think about the balance of their competence and confidence, and provides them (and you!) with four practical strategies for combatting this pesky phenomenon.

And then, a weird amount of chat about Vlad the Impaler.

0:00 – An Emisode!
2:41 – Adam Grant is not an imposter
5:11 – Origins of Imposter Syndrome
6:45 – ‘Syndrome’ is the wrong word
8:19 – It all comes back to belonging
10:39 – How common is imposter syndrome?
12:20 – Fear of being found out as a fraud
15:16 – The evolutionary psychology of belonging and self-doubt
16:35 – Is self-doubt actually healthy?
17:42 – Is your confidence a mask?
18:57 – The Dunning-Kruger Effect
23:15 – The more you know ….
25:12 – Competence vs confidence
26:29 – The Imposter Cycle: anxiety, perfectionism, luck
32:09 – Becoming your own favourite artist
35:55 – Avoidance, procrastination + self-fulfilling prophecies
38:29 – Long term consequences ft. Hugh’s anus
45:26 – Authenticity as the antidote
46:22 – Less growth, less promotions
48:52 – Strategy 1: write down your skills
49:53 – Strategy 2: name your shame
51:40 – Supporting a friend with imposter phenomenon
52:29 – Self-doubt in a new role is a good sign
57:12 – Strategy 3: mentor a near peer
1:00:38 – Strategy 4: celebrate your success
1:02:57 – Creating a good workplace culture
1:04:06 – Belonging is good for business
1:06:25 – Want more on belonging?

Dr Em, thanks for joining us.

🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode

Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential - https://bit.ly/4jc0DFM
Dr Emily - We’re Longing for Belonging - https://bit.ly/4yElLJp
Rana Hussain - Belonging for Connection - http://bit.ly/4odhGY8
Esther Perel - It’s Not Them, It’s You - https://bit.ly/4yxgljs

🎧Things to listen to

The Curiosity Shop with Brene Brown and Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4gT05mW

📖Things to read

Hidden Potential, by Adam Grant - https://bit.ly/4AemQcv
Hardwiring Happiness, by Rick Hanson - https://bit.ly/3T6IhM0

📺 Things to watch

Mad Men - https://bit.ly/4cLB6zx

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Andy Lee - DO NOT Listen To This Episode! Sep 13, 2026

Show notes

When he was 15, Andy Lee’s mum forgot who he was.

💌 Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/

Given only two weeks to live, Andy tells Hugh, Ryan and Josh how this news impacted his family, impacted his childhood, and continues to impact his sense of self.

And then, we’re going all the way back to the early days of Radio Karate, and Hamish & Andy.

In a long overdue conversation (recorded, of course), Ryan and Andy chat about their own friendship dynamic and why they both felt like the odd one out.

Getting down to business, Andy and Ryan discuss how a bunch of 20 year old guys made tough financial decisions while trying to remain mates, how they learnt to give constructive criticism to each other, and with the blessing of hindsight, how they feel about that time now.

Andy, we’ve been waiting for this episode longer than a baker with his oven off.

0:00 – 2 years of secret vocal coaching
4:35 – HOW long for one cartoon episode?
5:48 – When Andy met Hamish (and Ryan)
9:39 – The impact of getting cancelled after 5 episodes
10:08 – The best advice Andy received
14:07 – Jealousy, Jealousy
20:25 – The Four Way Split of Hamish & Andy
23:42 – Should we be recording this?
25:10 – Social media has replaced the paparazzo
26:11 – Andy’s nude photo scandal
30:23 – Inspiration and renegotiation
36:55 – The Vulnerabilitea House
38:02 – When your mum is given two weeks to live
40:30 – Rapid deterioration and rush to hospital
43:28 – Taking on the parent role at 15
46:04 – Furious at the new normal
49:09 – Why “Don’t Worry, It’ll Be Fine” is the worst thing to say
54:36 – Andy’s Dad’s incredible sacrifice
58:20 – The Lee Gazette
1:00:50 – Why we should talk about will’s

🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode

Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4A230B5

📺 Things to watch

Institute of Sayings from Real Stories - https://bit.ly/4xBJHgq
Do Not Watch This Show! - https://bit.ly/4cAwlIZ
New Zealand Spy - https://bit.ly/4hdjPBI

🎧Things to listen to

Andy Lee on Falling Upwards with Kate Langbroek - https://bit.ly/4yucp30

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Philippa Northeast - My Brilliant Career Took Years of Rejection Sep 06, 2026

Show notes

Have you ever watched the person you love most get everything you ever wanted? Did you harden around envy, or shrink with comparison? Were you able to find happiness for their success?

Philippa Northeast, Logie nominated and lead of Netflix’s My Brilliant Career, is a star quickly rising. Her most significant role? The little sister of our producer, Bridge.

💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Joining us as a guest host, Producer Bridge, alongside Hugh, Josh and Ryan, discuss the years of failure and rejection behind the scenes of Pip’s overnight success.

Constantly aware of the need to prove herself a success, Philippa is completely vulnerable about the obsession that came from certain rejections, and her anxiety which manifested itself as trichotillomania.

Offering a unique and intimate perspective, both Bridge and Josh reflect on their respective siblings’ success, and how that has shaped their own identity.

It’s sibling vs sibling, and only one will make it out alive (kidding, it has a happy ending).

0:00 – Meet Producer Bridge’s Little Sister
5:43 – Pip’s Brilliant Career: From Home & Away to Netflix Star
11:39 – Middle Child Syndrome
19:28 – Sibling Comparison: Cricket and Drama Solos
20:55 – Finding Success Straight Out of High School
22:56 – Self-belief vs Self-doubt: Why Pip Took The Leap and Bridget Didn’t
25:30 – Feeling Over-shadowed, and Under Pressure
28:00 – Becoming an Unemployed Clown
29:17 – The Sensational Potter Backup Plan
34:01 – Getting Undressed (Again)
35:46 – The Hollywood Grind
37:32 – Lockdown, Isolation and Growing Doubt
46:15 – Obsession born from Rejection
51:49 – What Loneliness in the Acting Industry Feels Like
52:46 – The Body Keeps Score: Trichotillomania
54:47 – Healing: Journalling, Yoga, Grounding
57:04 – The Hallmark Offer That Changed Everything
1:03:39 – The Downside of Growing Up Next To A Rising Star
1:07:29 – Choosing Pride Over Jealousy
1:09:49 – The Upside of Losing to Claudia Karvan

🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode

Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way - https://bit.ly/3UNr9LC
What’s Your ATAR? - https://bit.ly/4zQ4AG5

📺 Things to watch

My Brilliant Career - https://bit.ly/4zPaW8L
Family Next Door - https://bit.ly/4gEp0cw
Newsreader - https://bit.ly/3UNr4ri
A Royal Runaway Romance - https://bit.ly/3V8rGb2
Standing Up For Sunny - https://bit.ly/4xyeASP

🎧 Things to listen to

Undressed by Sombr - https://bit.ly/4wY9Ipf

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Matt D'Avella Tried No-Sleep-Parenting For 10 Months Aug 30, 2026

Show notes

What impact does sleep deprivation really have on your wellbeing? What about your parenting? What about your identity?

Matt D’Avella has amassed over 4 millions subscribers on YouTube undertaking 30-day wellness challenges, and promoting his minimalist lifestyle.

In life that was meticulously controlled, having kids changed everything.

💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Blessed with a baby who woke every 30 minutes for the first ten months of their life, Matt chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about how becoming a new parent impacted every facet of his life.

Hugh and Josh share just how lonely they have felt at different times during their parenting journey, and Ryan saves the day by holding a baby for a full 40 minutes (save the applause! please!)

Matt this was a dream come true.

To watch the full episode on YouTube - https://youtu.be/foilZTRGXco

00:00 - I Tried Being Vulnerable for 30 Days
7:03 - Minimalism Maxxing
18:00 - The Vulnerabilitea House
20:25 - Becoming a father, losing sleep (and himself)
24:14 - Depression Diagnosis Wake-Up Call
32:56 - Hugh's Sleep Score
40:38 - SOS: Hiring Help, Expanding your Village
48:50 - Sleep Training: What Actually Works
52:02 - The Real Cost of Sleep Deprivation
58:29 - Being A Mum: The Additional Burden
1:01:32 - 'Do You Regret Having Kids?'
1:04:00 - The New and Improved Matt D'Ad-Avella

🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby… New Brain… Matrescence - https://bit.ly/4zVt9Si

📺 Things to watch

Minimalism Documentary - https://bit.ly/3SSZb0t
Why I disappeared - Matt D’Avella - https://bit.ly/3SwYA4g
Matt D’Avella YouTube - https://bit.ly/4wOzFXW

💤 Things to sleep train

Tresillian Sleep Organisation - https://bit.ly/4zAGTS5
The Ferber Sleep method - https://bit.ly/4iCdqB4
Masada Sleep School - https://bit.ly/4qNi7uc

📚Things to read

Regretful Parents subreddit - https://bit.ly/4gx9W0b

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How Childhood Cancer Motivated Josh Niland: One of the World’s Greatest Chefs Aug 23, 2026

Show notes

How does having cancer as a child impact the way you live as an adult?

Uber successful chef and restauranteur Josh Niland doesn’t do things in halves (no, literally, have you read his book The Whole Fish?).

From opening a restaurant at 26, to becoming the first Australian to win the James Beard Book of the Year award when he was just 30, Josh’s creativity came from a place of desperation to explore every opportunity presented to him.

💌Join 9,400+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week’s episode in our newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Diagnosed with cancer 2 days after his 8th birthday, Josh’s childhood transformed in a matter of hours into hospital hallways, chemotherapy and facing his own mortality.

In this episode, Josh joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to talk us through an experience which profoundly changed him, which he is now grateful for.

Hugh, Ryan and Josh (our Josh), also ask about where his drive and ambitious creativity comes from, and just how close to failure Josh’s culinary career came.

We wish this chat could have gone on longer,

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/hjZPPeKKsVA

🫖Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned on this episode

Nathan Cavaleri - The Ups & The Blues - https://bit.ly/468HE7l

📺 Things to watch

Josh’s Australian Story - https://bit.ly/4giDtKR

📚Things to read

Saint Peter: Chapter & Verse, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN
The Whole Fish, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN

🍽️ Places to eat

Saint Peter - https://bit.ly/4qrs4gv

💻Things to check out

Starlight Children’s Foundation - https://bit.ly/4hHDkmM
Josh Niland’s Website - https://www.mrniland.com

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr Emily - Tough Love vs Shame Aug 16, 2026

Show notes

Is tough love to blame for our shame?

💌Join 9,200+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week’s episode in our newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

We all know that parent or coach on the sideline who takes under 10’s basketball a liiitttllleee too seriously. And occasionally, tough love might seem to work in the moment, long term, the shame train isn’t going anywhere good.

Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is here to name the shame to tame it, and teach us how we can be shame strippers too (get your head out of the gutter. Shame on you).

We go into the difference between shame, humiliation, guilt and embarrassment, bow down to the queen Brene Brown, and introduce ourselves to our own Healthy Adult.

Shamelessly, this is one of our best episodes to date.

0:00 – Ever heard of a shame stripper?
6:27 – Bow down to Brene Brown
12:25 – The other self-conscious emotions (they’re shy)
20:51 – Humour and humiliation
29:21 – Shame is a full body experience
36:16 – Beware of who you share (with)
40:43 – Manosphere + behaviour change
46:59 – Tough love + kids sport
57:07 – Working with shame
1:06:10 – Bring on the compassion!
1:10:07 – Introducing the Healthy Adult

If you’d like to watch the full episode on YouTube, follow this link -

🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode

Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4qgEqrO
Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - https://bit.ly/4hqWa1k
How do you know you’re in a thinking trap? - Maria Ruberto - https://bit.ly/4ze4eJh

🎧 Things to listen to

Between Two Beers with Steven Adams - https://bit.ly/4g3wipS

📚Things to read

Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown - https://bit.ly/45VT2Dx
The Compassionate Mind, by Paul Gilbert - https://bit.ly/3UewPOq
Movember study of the Manosphere - https://bit.ly/4wZxtOs
Proneness to shame vs proneness to guilt research by Tangney et al. - https://bit.ly/4g4lQyl

📖Things to do

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer - https://bit.ly/4zg353K
Othership (breath work app) - https://bit.ly/4g7Q03E

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Nature of Being Alone Aug 09, 2026

Show notes

Can nature help us to feel less alone?

💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/

Psychologist on the incredible, Alone Australia series (remember our seminal episode with Gina Chick?), Mark Mathieson is in the Academy of Imperfection to help us understand how nature regulates our body, and how we can reconnect to it in this digital age.

Mark talks about how to uncover the person behind the persona, the science behind gardening, and why Hugh had the best sleep of his life in a tent, with no pillow.

According to Mark, human are immensely capable of change, and this episode provides a few things we can do to ensure nature is incorporated into our routines, without cramming the schedule more.

Mark, it was great to be alone . . . with you.

If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIMSSRJg2vQ
0:00 – Ice breaker: where have we gone wrong?
6:58 – The segmentation of exercise
11:46 – Evolution of Mark
18:53 – Person behind the persona
24:10 – Our virtual reality future
27:22 – Let’s learn to adapt
36:00 – Building relationships with nature
42:28 – The science of gardening and sunshine
48:53 – Eventually, reality TV gets us all
53:08 – Big city blues

🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode

Gina Chick - Don’t Fight Life - https://bit.ly/4xj0kga
Sean Turnell - A Prisoner’s Guide to Life - https://bit.ly/4btNKCu
Sex for Normal People with Ita O’Brien - https://bit.ly/4btNNya
Dr Emily - The (pesky) Hedonistic Treadmill - https://bit.ly/4yXxx2B
Dr Paul Callaghan - How To Follow The Dreaming Path - https://bit.ly/457l9PY

📚Things to read

Comfort Crisis, by Michael Easter - https://bit.ly/4pV10Ga
The Dreaming Path, by Dr Paul Callaghan and Uncle Paul Gordon - https://bit.ly/4gctqrZ

📺 Things to watch

Alone Australia (new season out now) - https://bit.ly/4yWVW8n

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

All views expressed in this podcast are Mark Mathieson’s and not representative of the Department of Defence, Australia.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Briggs - What Racism Feels Like (feat. Nazeem Hussain) Aug 02, 2026

Show notes

What is racism, really?

💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/

Adam Briggs, rapper, writer, actor, senator and Yorta-Yorta man, joins Hugh, Josh and guest host Nazeem Hussain, to have an honest conversation about racism in Australia.

We explore the impact of The Voice Referendum vote, how culture and community impacts identity, and why Briggs has never, ever felt the need to people please (yep, that’s the sound of us frantically scribbling down notes).

Briggs also chats about the highs and lows of bipolar II.
0:00 – No boundaries Briggs
5:26 –Big Shep’ Washing Machine
12:25 – This is racism
21:27 – A hyper-vigilante
28:06 – Perfect storm for art
36:09 – Copping it Australia Wide
43:22 – The Yes Vote
53:08 – Australian Culture
57:02 – Never just about music
1:04:50 – Make Aboriginal Cool
1:09:19 – Bipolar, therapy, training

🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

Ben Shewry (Pt 1) - The Other Side of Excellence - https://bit.ly/4fErGpQ
Ben Shewry (Pt 2) - How The Chef Was Made - https://bit.ly/45sPsR7
Ben Shewry - Making It Right (And Delicious) - https://bit.ly/4gXyDEZ
Nazeem Hussain - Losing a Parent - https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-imperfects/id1476501557?i=1000589981824

🎧Things to listen to

Big Noter - https://www.thebignoter.com
The Children Came Back by Briggs & Gurrumul - https://bit.ly/4fGaxMH

📺Things to watch

Briggs’s Voice Referendum ad - https://bit.ly/4bkiTs2

📚Things to read

Our Home, Our Heartbeat by Adam Briggs - https://bit.ly/4yQKbjW

💻Things to check out

Rumbalara Football Netball Club - https://www.rfnc.com.au/
Bad Apples Music - https://bit.ly/4x8Rdi3

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - https://www.patreon.com/c/TheImperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcast http://apple.co/theimperfects

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sex for Normal People with Ita O'Brien Jul 26, 2026

Show notes

Sex is sometimes a taboo topic. Not today! Intimacy expert Ita O’Brien tells us all about the new normal in the bedroom, and how she’s introduced it to Hollywood.

💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

In 2017, Ita O’Brien changed how Hollywood approached sex scenes when she pioneered intimacy co-ordination on the hit Netflix show, Sex Education, by introducing the framework, “Intimacy On Set Guidelines”. She went on to on productions for Netflix, BBC, HBO, Hulu, Amazon, including Sex Education and Normal People, founding her own company Intimacy on Set.

And now she’s here.

Ita chats with the guys about what sex scenes were like before Intimacy Co-ordination, and all the lies movies taught us about sex. She explains the mysterious orgasm gap, why consent is the foundation of all intimacy, and maybe most importantly of all… the male and female anatomy of arousal! That bit’s at the 16min mark if you’re really in a hurry. 😉
00:00 – Meet Ita O'Brien, the World's First Intimacy Coordinator
01:32 – Inside Her Work on Normal People, I May Destroy You & Sex Education
04:17 – What Intimacy Actually Means (It's Not Just Sex)
07:34 – The Untold Story of the First-Ever Intimacy Coordinator Job
09:35 – What Sex Scenes Were Like Before Consent Guidelines Existed
12:27 – Why On-Screen Intimacy Shapes How We See Ourselves
14:33 – The Hidden Lie Movies Taught Us About Sex
16:00 – The Male Anatomy of Arousal, Explained
18:33 – The Female Anatomy of Arousal, Explained
23:17 – Why Desire Fades in Long-Term Relationships
25:59 – The Power of Touch (and Why We're Losing It)
30:39 – How Screens Are Rewiring Kids' Ability to Connect
34:08 – The Truth About the Orgasm Gap
40:30 – Why Consent Is the Foundation of All Intimacy
43:10 – Filming the Iconic Birth Scene in We Live in Time
49:52 – How to Talk to Kids About Consent and Bodies
52:24 – "Consent Is Sexy": A Call to Writers and Filmmakers
54:33 – Sex, Menopause and Intimacy at Every Life Stage

📖Things to read

Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires by Ita O’Brien - https://www.penguin.com.au/books/intimacy-9781529954043

📺 Things to watch

Sex Education (Netflix) - https://www.netflix.com/title/80197526
Normal People (BBC/Hulu) - https://www.hulu.com/series/normal-people
I May Destroy You (BBC/HBO) - https://www.hbo.com/i-may-destroy-you
Catastrophe - https://www.amazon.com/Catastrophe-Season-1/dp/B00YGB8UYK
We Live in Time (Film4/A24) - https://www.a24films.com/films/we-live-in-time

🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode

Esther Perel — Let's Be Better Lovers - https://open.spotify.com/episode/1BantQso5Ef3xPn4PWNG2I

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcast http://apple.co/theimperfects

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected