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The Horny Housewife — Relationships
The Horny Housewife

This podcast is about the reality of sex in marriage. The good, the bad, the ugly & the inevitable. Every Monday I am discussing all things intimacy & answering your burning questions about what really goes on behind closed doors. Tune in to hear topics like navigating mismatched libidos, dead bedrooms, dating your spouse and technique tips for both men and women. Your host Jordyn Hakes is about to become your favorite unfiltered, brutally honest big(little?) sister. For all the married people still trying to find pleasure within their marriage, this one is for you. We may be married, by but golly -we are still horny (or want to be!!!) Join me each week for some guaranteed laughs, no sugar coating, sexy tips, story times and the occasional jaw dropping listener question. Watch on youtube.com/@thhpod and Spotify!
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Latest Episodes:

EP 30 - B*tches R Us' May 31, 2021

Show notes

Female Friendships, Women Empowerment, Your friendly fake as f*ck neighborhood b*tches. Lets mention it allllllllll. Im back this week, just me the devil on my shoulder, and the positive little heart felt angel b*tch on the other side, covering what it means to be a woman in society today trying to find some mother freaking friends. I wont lie, I was a little shit talking beezy in this MOODY MONDAY episode, but we are here for it. Let her live. Diving deep this week on the difference on why we view women as threats or not. Why and how do we click? How has society impacted how we view one another? Why is my neighbor such a bitch to me? hehe, Im really letting myself air it out this week, and tie it all together with a little koom-ba-yaaa at the end. love you xoxoSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/thehornyhousewife)

EP 28-Limp Bizkit May 17, 2021

Show notes

LETS TALK ABOUT SEX. Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and Premature Ejaculation (PE) are SO common in men, and we need to talk about it! Jordyn is back at it solo-episoding diving into the uncomfy topic of how we (men and women) feel about it and what it does to our egos/self-esteem. What really goes through a woman head when he can't perform, even if its health related, post surgery, or high stress from your career, Jordyn is covering ground on what the hell you should do to start getting laid again! Its not a one-solution fits all, and today we are talking about all the possible situations you could be in, and the best way out...if there is one. Spoiler alert; you can have what you desire=) Jordyn is answering two listener questions this episode about her fav/and least fav sexual positions, and another from a wife dealing with PE in her marriage. Listen now to hear what she has to say!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thehornyhousewife)

EP 27- An Affair Worth Having May 10, 2021

Show notes

A love story. Jordyn is here with a special guest and friend Lauren; who is DEEP DIVING into her own personal story of a love affair gone good. Not right away of course hehe. We are peeling back the layers (ahem there is a lot) and leaving judgment at the door. (or go ahead judge away =p I know I did) Lauren gets vulnerable and shares her trials of marriage & infidelity (from both sides) which lets be honesty...is a pretty common (And unfortunate) thing in todays society. We all know the term "broken family" and the pressure to keep it "unbroken.=;" But is "unbroken" really best, or is it broken and all the pieces are under one roof? We go over the marriage , cheating, the divorce and remarrying (yes.....) , an affair, a trip to Egypt, and coming to terms with THE HEART WANT WHAT IT WANTS. Does she have any regrets? Jordyn is sure to ask. Tune in!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/thehornyhousewife)

EP 26 - Surviving Marriage 101 May 03, 2021

Show notes

This week Jordyn is going through some Do's and Do-f#cking-nots in marriage according to....her. From stroking an ego, farting in front of your spouse ( WE ADDRESS A PASS GAS LIE BEING SPREAD ) anal tradegies, to being bipolar with intention, we cover it all; bottom line you get what you give! Giving insight in to her own marriage currently being trapped in the same home 247 Jordyn is here to be real and honest about what she thinks keeps the mystery in a marriage. We also hear from the listeners about what they say keeps the sexy going....at the end Jordyn answers a question from a listener about what to do in a sexless/loveless marriage.

EP 25- The threesome with one too many. Apr 26, 2021

Show notes

Jordyn is back and sharing her thirsty attempt to shamelessly self promo on the next door app (actually tried craigslist too but that failed as well, damn moderators). She suspects a Karen neighbor which sounds probable, and a little shit talking down goes down in regards to "neighbor Karen", who needs to get laid clearly. Jordy is sharing her first failed attempt at a threesome (there were no fails after that lolz) and its worth a giggle or too, or at the very least judgment. She goes on to tease her more explicit stories only to ask you to pay for them, because if she is going to expose herself at least let her get her bag. Ending the episode with fantasy talk and what gets Jordyn off that slightly embarrasses her. Hope you enjoy the episode xoxo horny people!

EP 24- Blogger B*tches & TikTok home wreckers Apr 19, 2021

Show notes

Jordyn is in session with the first (of many) MOODY MONDAYZ. Taking a mini dive into pop culture, the Khloe Kardashian photo scandal (we think she's gorgeous in them all) FILTER LYFEEEE, and most importantly talking shit about the girls who #nofilter and are lying little beezys; segway our way into the era of facetune and calling out the girls that claim its "rEalLy ThEm". Jordyn isn't holding back about what grinds her gears when it comes to blogger shilling in 2021, "Jesus Saved" bios with tata pics for days. Sipping the haterade without being a troll, I promise I love every horny man and woman, but I am calling you out if you don't own it. Ps. I do go in on capitalizing on tears, dog moms who think they pushed a yorkie out of their puss, and any b*tch that says they can have my man.--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-horny-housewife/support

EP 23 -Grieve "the block" and take notes Apr 12, 2021

Show notes

Hi all Im back solo-episoding bringing you the latest views on toxic dating red flags. A mini follow up of "roasting a fuck boy" was in order due to the reach out of a "mini John Tucker must die club." I felt for these women, I had felt the pain these women had of being sucked in over and over only to be crushed..over and over. If its all rainbows and orgasms with him when you are with him, only to find heartbreak and DM's of him sexting another b{*tch when yalll aren't chillin, its bad news bears girlfran. Men, in your defense, if you are transparent about what you want from the get go, its on us if we become 5 stage clingy...just don't be a shady f*ck. Two lessons to be learned in this episode, maybe even more. I end the episode exposing my own toxic game playing traits. Thanks for listening! Please sub=)--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-horny-housewife/support

EP 22-There's Something About Mary, Apr 07, 2021

Show notes

Hi y'all, Im here this time with a GUEST, the Virgin Mary, not THE, but def a previous virgin who chose one dick 19 years ago and we are SHOOKETH. I made her come tell her shit bc she isn't the norm, she's doing SOMETHING right bc the vibe check is a PASS for this couple. We are talking what a 19 year marriage consists of, tips on communication, the evolution of a long term relationship sex wise, and how many factors contribute to a long lasting relationship and maintaining getting laid. Mary, the ex virgin chose her forever cock and she's here to tell us how she keeps it!--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-horny-housewife/support

EP 21- Only Fans Vs. Porn Mar 29, 2021

Show notes

Hi yall! Im back and this time were talking about the difference (from a woman/wifes perspective) of only fans vs porn. Is there a definite line or is it too grey? Is only fans the virtual reality of porn where its too close to home (maybe literally)? Engaging with who you are beating off too (and paying $$), vs the novelty of watching (Free) porn. What's too much, is it really harmful? What is considered cheating? Should it be or not? Im talking about what being a "cool wife" thats trying to be something she's not, vs being realistic and not being insecure about it. Although this may be controversial it's my own opinion and experience I am sharing and I appreciate and respect everyone who listens! VEGAS PIC (intro story of this episode) WILL BE ON MY IG STORIES @thehornyhousewifepodcast--

EP 20- Sex Killerz and the "AAA" Mar 22, 2021

Show notes

Hey horny b's. Were going over the triple A's this week and they are guarantee to get you laid. I start the episode briefly answering a listener question on what to do while riding your partner, and then go straight into real talk of what is killing the vibe in your relationship. The four horsemen of cockblocking (projecting, kids, resentment, and stress) are REALLLLL and we all know getting laid is better than not, so what we are gunna do about it??!! I got your back; the triple A's come to resolve these un avoidable cockblocks of life and with a little intention you'll have their pants off in no time. Listen up ladies and gents; if your craving it GO GET IT!--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-horny-housewife/support

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