The Healing Trauma Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Take what You Need, Soft Words For Hard Days With Aundi Kolber Feb 18, 2025

Show notes

Today I am sharing my second interview with trauma therapist and author of Aundi Kolber. Her latest book is Take What You Need, Soft Words For Hard Days. We continue our conversation on the necessity of compassion and gentleness in the healing process. Aundi emphasizes the ebb and flow of healing, the significance of recognizing and validating personal needs, and the impact of developmental trauma on emotional health. She also explores the role of shame in hindering healing and the necessity of embodied knowledge in therapy. The discussion concludes with a focus on the power of language in facilitating healing and the hope that her book can serve as a valuable resource for those on their healing journeys.

Podcast highlights:

Healing should be approached with gentleness and compassion.
The process of healing is not linear; it has ebbs and flows.
Compassion is essential in therapeutic settings.
Recognizing and validating our needs is crucial for healing.
Developmental trauma can have long-lasting effects on individuals.
Shame can prevent us from expressing our needs and seeking help.
Our bodies possess wisdom about our needs, even when we are unaware.
Healing often requires a thawing process to access buried emotions.
Language can be a powerful tool for healing and connection.
Resources like books can provide support on the healing journey.

Grab Aundi’s book “Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days”

You can also find her previous books, Strong Like Water and Try Softer.

https://amzn.to/4hLIxqY

Aundi Kolber’s – Website and Instagram

Find a list of trauma recovery books + resources for the healing trauma journey. https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/ SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated! When you buy me a coffee, your support goes towards keeping the podcast running. HERE: https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast Subscribe and watch on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA Disclaimer: This episode and website may contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.
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Soft Words For Hard Days with Aundi Kolber Feb 08, 2025

Show notes

Monique is joined by the incredible Aundi Kolber, a trauma therapist and bestselling author of Try Softer. Aundi will be with us over the the next two episodes. Aundi discusses her latest book, 'Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Times,' focusing on the importance of gentleness and compassion in healing. She emphasizes the need for safety and empowerment in the healing process, highlighting the role of self-compassion and the significance of relationships.

Some highlights of the conversation:

Our capacity for aliveness can be discovered through gentle practices
Safety and compassion are essential for learning and healing.
Self-compassion is often lacking in trauma survivors.
Finding glimmers of aliveness can enhance emotional well-being.
The body holds wisdom that can guide healing.
Compassionate resourcing helps convey safety to our bodies.
Understanding our limits is crucial for personal growth.
Connection with others is vital for healing.
Healing is a journey that requires patience and self-kindness

AundiKolber.com

Aundi's book :Take what You Need Soft Words For Hard Days

https://amzn.to/41a0kSQ

Navigating the Complexity of Boundaries with Lauren Auer Jan 23, 2025

Show notes

In this conversation, Monique is chatting with trauma therapist Lauren Auer about the importance of setting boundaries, especially for trauma survivors. They explore the discomfort and challenges that come with establishing personal limits, the emotional toll of boundary-setting, and the necessity of self-care in maintaining healthy relationships. The discussion emphasizes that while setting boundaries can be difficult, it is essential for emotional well-being and personal growth.

You can find Lauren here:

website : steadfastcounseling.com

Instagram: Instagram

TikTok: YourTraumaTherapist (@yourtraumatherapist) | TikTok

Substack: Your Trauma Therapist | Substack

The Emotionally Unsafe Mother With Dr. Deniz Ahmadinia Jan 14, 2025

Show notes

In this conversation, Monique Koven and returning guest trauma specialist and psychologist Dr. Deniz Ahmadinia discuss the profound impact of being seen in relationships, particularly between mothers and daughters. Deniz explores how early attachment experiences shape our sense of self and emotional health, leading to patterns that persist into adulthood. The discussion delves into the effects of emotional immaturity in parenting, the connection between trauma and self-perception, and the importance of reconnecting with our bodies to express emotions. Monique emphasizes the challenges of navigating relationships with emotionally immature parents and they discuss the journey towards authenticity, highlighting the need for compassion and boundaries in healing.

Find Deniz here:

https://www.drdeniz.com/

Cycle-Breakers: Positive Discipline With Sarah R. Moore Dec 29, 2024

Show notes

In this conversation, Monique welcomes back certified master parenting trainer Sarah R Moore as part of a cycle breakers parenting series. They discuss the importance of understanding discipline in parenting through a trauma-informed lens. Sarah emphasizes that discipline should be viewed as a teaching opportunity rather than punishment, highlighting the impact of attachment on children's development. The discussion covers the significance of creating emotional safety, practical techniques for mindful parenting, and the power of repair in relationships. Sarah also shares insights on how to break cycles of negative parenting and offers support through coaching programs for parents.

Podcast takeaways

Discipline is about teaching, not punishment.
Children's attachment styles are influenced by parenting methods.
Fear-based discipline can lead to unhealthy adult relationships.
Creating emotional safety is crucial for children's learning.
Cycle breaking starts with inner safety for parents.
Mindful parenting techniques can be practiced in six seconds.
Repairing relationships after conflict is essential for healthy development.
Children learn better in a safe and supportive environment.
Positive parenting techniques can be applied to all ages.
Coaching and support can empower parents to create change.

Sarah R. Moore's Book : Peaceful Discipline:Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior: Get it here:

https://amzn.to/4gTSEZF

Empowering Yourself For Family Holiday Gatherings With Dr. Deniz Ahmadinia Dec 15, 2024

Show notes

In this conversation, Monique and her guest psychologist and trauma specialist Dr. Deniz Ahmadinia discuss the emotional challenges individuals face during holiday gatherings, particularly when dealing with challenging family dynamics. She emphasizes the importance of self-validation, understanding personal triggers, and setting boundaries to protect one's emotional well-being. Deniz also highlights the significance of inner child work and self-compassion in navigating these complex relationships, encouraging listeners to recognize their agency and the choices they have as adults.

Podcast episode takeaways:

The holiday season can trigger intense emotions from childhood.
Family dynamics often pull us back into our childhood roles.
Understanding our triggers can help us prepare for family gatherings.
Setting boundaries is crucial for emotional well-being.
We have the power to choose how we respond to family members.
Inner child work is essential for healing past wounds.
Compassion towards ourselves is vital during stressful interactions.
Our bodies hold memories of past family dynamics.
We can validate our feelings without relying on others.
Preparation and self-care can empower us during the holidays.

Dr. Deniz Ahmadinia is a licensed clinical psychologist with expertise in trauma, anxiety disorders, and mindfulness meditation.

Instagram @drdenizpsyd.

Is It Trauma And ADHD? With Britt Frank Dec 06, 2024

Show notes

In this conversation, host Monique Koven and trauma therapist and author Britt Frank explore the intricate relationship between ADHD and trauma, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and the role of diagnosis in mental health. They discuss personal experiences, the challenges of navigating mental health labels, and practical strategies for managing everyday life. The dialogue highlights the significance of understanding one's unique needs and the power of acceptance in the journey of healing and personal growth.

Find Britt's books here:

The Science Of Stuck https://amzn.to/3ZlCLEs

The Getting Unstuck Workbook https://amzn.to/4gihNNq

Britt's Upcoming book: Align Your Mind: https://amzn.to/3ZqBHio

Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP, is a licensed neuropsychotherapist, speaker, and author. Her first book, The Science of Stuck, isnow available from Penguin Random House in 9 languagesand newest book, Align Your Mind, is now available for pre-order. Britt received her B.A. from Duke University and her MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct professor. Frank speaks and writes widely about the brain and how to get unstuck from even the most long-standing habits and patterns. Her work has been featured by New York Magazine, Forbes, NPR, The Society for Human Resources Management, Psychology Today, Cosmopolitan, Parade Magazine, Esquire, and The New York Times.

Cycle -Breakers: Creating Safe Relationships With Our Children With Sarah R. Moore Nov 29, 2024

Show notes

In this conversation, Monique Koven and guest certified Master parenting Trainer Sarah R. Moore discuss the importance of creating safe spaces for children, the significance of secure attachment, and the impact of trauma on parenting. They explore the four S's of secure attachment—seen, safe, soothed, and secure—and how parents can navigate their own dysregulation to foster safe relationships with their children. Sarah shares insights from her programs designed to support parents and caregivers in their journey towards positive parenting and healing.

Podcast takeaways

Creating a safe space for children is essential.
Understanding trauma helps in parenting effectively.
Children are wired for secure attachment.
Emotional validation is crucial for children.
Repairing relationships is more important than perfection.
Emotions are contagious; children pick up on them.
Secure attachment leads to healthier relationships.
Parents should delight in their children.
Dysregulation can affect parenting responses.
Support programs can empower parents to heal.

Sarah R. Moore a certified parenting Master Trainer and, most importantly, a mama. Sarah is the author of Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior.Her life’s work is to support families to grow their peace, connection, and JOY together. Although she supports all sorts of families in all stages of parenting, some of her specific areas of expertise include parenting highly sensitive and/or strong-willed children, playful parenting, secure attachment, healthy communication, emotional intelligence, and re-parenting ourselves.

Sarah's book:Peaceful Discipline :https://amzn.to/4iiY9Tc

Understanding Dissociative Identity Disorder From A Lived Perspective With Adrian A. Fletcher, Psy.D Nov 21, 2024

Show notes

In this conversation, I am honoured to sit down and chat with Adrian Fletcher. Adrian is a licensed psychologist, author, and survivor with lived experience of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. She also uses the name Adrienne & Co.System to reflect a DID system of 22 + parts. She discusses discusses the complexities of living with the condition, the challenges of diagnosis, and the importance of understanding and support from both therapists and the general public. She emphasizes the need for trauma-informed care and the significance of advocacy in breaking down stigma surrounding DID.

*Correction: in the audio its 1-3% of the population is suspected to live with it, not one in three.

takeaways

DID is often misunderstood and misdiagnosed, leading to a lack of appropriate treatment.
The average age of diagnosis for DID is around 37 years old.
Many people living with DID are unaware of their condition until later in life.
DID is a response to extreme and ongoing trauma, not a result of a single incident.
The media often misrepresents DID, contributing to stigma and misunderstanding.
Therapists need to be flexible and trauma-informed to effectively support clients with DID.
It's crucial for individuals with DID to communicate and check in with their parts regularly.
Advocacy and education are essential in changing public perception of DID.
Living with DID can lead to a complex relationship with identity and self-perception.
Support from family and friends is vital for those living with DID.

https://www.instagram.com/adrienneandco?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

https://www.aninfinitemind.org/

Complex Trauma Through The Generations with Dr. Alison McClymont Nov 15, 2024

Show notes

In this conversation, I am joined with child psychologist and trauma therapist Dr. Alison McClymont. The discussion delves into generational trauma, exploring how the experiences of previous generations shape current parenting practices and emotional responses. Alison highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing small T traumas in children's lives, providing practical strategies for parents to navigate these challenges with compassion and awareness. Alison is the author of her upcoming book 'How to Help Your Child with Anything,' which focuses on everyday parenting challenges and offers a trauma-informed approach to addressing them.

takeaways

Trauma is a journey for survivors, impacting all facets of life.
Generational trauma influences parenting styles and emotional responses.
Understanding one's own childhood experiences is crucial for effective parenting.
Compassion for oneself as a parent is essential for growth.
Small T traumas can have significant impacts on children.
Emotional language is vital for children to express their experiences.
Recognizing the patterns of trauma in family history can aid healing.
Parents often project their unresolved trauma onto their children.
It's important to validate the experiences of trauma survivors.
Therapy can help individuals understand and process their emotional responses.

Follow Alison :https://www.dralisonmcclymont.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/alisonmcclymontinsta?

Her Book: How to help your Child Cope With Anything. https://amzn.to/4fMDRQ5

Find a list of recommended books, courses and /trainings + resources for the healing trauma journey.

https://www.thehealingtraumapodcast.com/resources/

SUPPORT this podcast for the cost of a coffee. Your support is appreciated!

https://buymeacoffee.com/thehealingtraumapodcast

Follow on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJy4f23JvtdFuQGadOqy3PA

Disclaimer: This episode and website contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.