The Graffiti Machine

Latest Episodes:

105: Distraction Oct 12, 2023

Show notes

It feels like we're in an age of massive distraction. We're being distracted by the media, world events, politicians, etc. Then we're distracting ourselves with social media platforms and other apps on our devices. Today, I talk about these distractions and some ways we can identify when we're being distracted and how to regain focus.

104: Is there an order to this shit? Sep 22, 2023

Show notes

This episode gets into some concepts from Stoic philosophy about there being an order to the universe and other potentially interesting shit.

Find Bus on various platforms linked here: https://bus.graffitimachine.com/

103: Forgotten Memories Sep 06, 2023

Show notes

I heard that most of what we do is forgotten. A lot of the day-to-day life stuff comes and goes, and the memories are lost. Do we do something about that? Do we try to create more memorable experiences, or does the fact that a lot of stuff is forgotten make the things you do remember that much more impactful?

102: How long do you let the clock blink? Aug 25, 2023

Show notes

I was thinking about how many little tasks come up that could be easiy taken care of, but I put them off. Those things occupy space in my mind. It would be ideal to just knock those things out so they're out of my head, but they often get put off. They're often small things, but they build up. It's got me wondering what negative effects might be happeing by letting these things build up.

101 - That's Impossible Aug 03, 2023

Show notes

When we set big goals for ourselves, they can often feel impossible. One thing that can help put things into perspective is to look at some of the amazing things that have been accomplished by other people. Seeing these great achievements might help put your own goals into perspective.

For me, I had an "If they can do that, I can definitely accomplish this" kind of moment. This episode breaks down some concepts about overcoming limiting beliefs.

100 - Mindset with Kub and Bus Jul 22, 2023

Show notes

For episode 100, I wanted to bring back a full conversation that Kub and I had. This episode was a the one that really set what we're doing in motion. I wish he was here in person for this, but we have a mission and we will just keep pushing forward.

— Bus

099: Adversity Doesn't Give a S**t About You Jul 11, 2023

Show notes

If I woke up one day, and there was litterly nothing to worry about—business is running perfectly, no problems to solve at all—I think that would be much more conerning than how life normally is. There's always a problem to solve, always some adversity to get passed. If everything was good and there were none of those things to deal with, I would imagine I'm not pushing hard enough. I think it's an Ali quote that says "If you're always winning, then you're not fighting tough enough opponents." If shit isn't hard, maybe we need to step up our game. Find Bus on various platforms linked here: https://bus.graffitimachine.com/ FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 This idea has come up in my head quite a bit over the years, you know, you're dealing with some shit in your life, what, in any aspect of your life, and you have this thought, that's kind of like, man, everything's gonna be so much better once this is over this is done or once I finish this or overcome this, whatever that is, and then you get that relief. And then there's something else right after there's like always something to worry about, there's always something to be concerned about, or something like that. So lately, I had this, I experienced that. And it just sort of reminded me of it. So it sparked me in to kind of try to think about how to talk about it, and how to deal with this kind of thing. And so, one couple of examples that I'll give, and this is what sparked this, this whole idea was, for about six weeks, I was dealing with some permit issues at my business, and it was not anything that we did, the building manager, or previous tenant had changed the plans before the fuck before we got there. So when the fire inspector came, he sort of popped into our business one day, and he was like, Hey, your floor plan isn't the same, you guys aren't supposed to be operating. 1:13 And it's like, holy shit, we'd already been like, completely up and running, you know, like, all these printing machines and all this staff and fucking spray paint all this stuff. So it was like, really stressful to have that happen. And just like, I don't know, free for those that have businesses, you'll understand. I don't know, I guess anybody will understand this. But it's like, it often feels like running a business is like the most fucking fragile as the best word I can think of, like shit ever. Like they're like one thing can happen. That could sort of derail a whole bunch of things. Like I remember, in 2020 Everybody was buying up all the bottles for hand sanitizer and shit. So it was like a year and a half or something. We just couldn't get the bottles for drip machines. And we kept trying to get other things. So we had this popular product, and literally no way to sell it. And it was just like, Fuck, man, like something like that can happen. So anyway, so this kind of shit stresses me out just knowing that this stuff can happen. So when, when this happened, I was like, fuck, man, what's going to happen? So we're kind of like operating a little weird, like, the door was shut, but we were in there kind of situation. But at any minute, like the city could come and say, you know, you got to send all these people home all this shit. Anyway, that stuff all ended up getting resolved took about six weeks. And it was on my mind all the fucking time for that whole six weeks, like I wasn't sleeping well. And it was just stressing me out. I was just like, what's going to happen? 2:48 How is this going to affect our business? Like, are we going to they were even he was even like saying stuff about the spray paint like you can't have this in here. So I was like, Fuck man, we've been selling spray paint since 2015. Like we're not going to be able to do that anymore. Anyway, was just like this big thing. And so it was really stressing me out quite a bit. And some of the kind of lessons and action steps I'm going to talk about later. Like I completely forgot all about it had I thought about these things I probably would have had an easier time. So what got me thinking along the lines of You know, once you get over one thing, something else pops up. So I remember I was thinking I'm like man, it's just going to be such a relief when this is done. We're going to be just back open and backup you know, everything's going good everything's done you know, I had all these plans and now we're putting those into motion but literally the day that I had relief like I was so relieved and then this should happen at at the studio and it wasn't like a huge deal but it was like kind of going back to that thing I was talking about how how sort of business is this kind of like weird balance thing where sometimes just a little thing can just disrupt the whole ship. And so for the last several years I've been working towards scaling my business with systems and getting the right people in place in order so I don't have to actually be there to do this stuff. 4:13 So now I don't have to I don't have to print stickers I don't have to do any of the day to day well I have to do very very little of the day to day like outside of ordering product and helping lead the team and having meetings and stuff I don't have to actually go in and print stickers and Phil product all that stuff so this was like a long time coming to get to the point where i i could do this and now I can focus on actually like big vision shit like scaling the business and helping refine systems and marketing and doing all this kind of stuff to actually grow the business. It's hard to do all that stuff when you're printing stickers are doing this in the business type shit. So I'm feeling good that I'm I'm at that point. But that's where this sort of like, kind of delicate balance of shit happens. Like, if something is something happens, then it might end up sending me back into that in the business thing. So we had this, like, this controversial sticker come through. And we, for the most part, we try not to try not to censor anything or do anything and no censorship is like a different issue. Like we have the right to not print whatever we want. 5:25 But at the same time we try to, we try to print anything that comes by, but sometimes some questionable shit happen that happened, a questionable sticker came in, and half the team was really adamant about not printing it, like we shouldn't do this. And the other half of the team was like, we shouldn't censor this or whatever. It's kind of beside the point. But anyway, it got all heated and like, it didn't get too bad. But at the same time, it was like, it was like I said, like, you never know, when sort of something is going to disrupt everything. So my brain just starts going crazy, like, you know, is everybody starting to think different things about each other, like, if the group of people that are adamant about not doing it Are they are they all going to kind of team up and leave and all this kind of stuff? Anyway, I was just blown it out of proportion. But that's what got me thinking about this and got me thinking, like, reminded me of, you know, life is just a series of problems to solve. And that's not all of life, but it's a big, it's a big part of life, you know, you're always having situations and scenarios that you have to find solutions to. 6:37 And a lot of times, they're stressful and, and that stress, you know, in the it's a form of adversity, obviously, all these kinds of issues. And, you know, I understand people go through all kinds of crazy shit, you know, like, on top of that, like after the, everything's kind of resolved, and everybody kind of, we found like, a good way forward. And everybody seems pretty chill. But then my dog had an episode, he's a really old dog. He's like, 20, something years old. He'd never had this happen, but like, I guess he he fell over, Jesse was home, he tipped over and kind of lost consciousness for for a few seconds. And he's got a heart condition. And again, he's really old. So I took him to the vet. And they, they were like, they were like talking about putting them down, like right then and there. But I was like, Wait a second, like, I've been down that road, like, I'm not going to keep a dog around living 7:37 a terrible existence, just to make myself feel better. I don't do that, you know, if I feel like the dogs ready to go, and they're given me signs, you know, as hard is it as it is like, that's the path I want to go. But this vet was rushing it, they didn't really take any time to look at him. They didn't take any do any tests or anything, it was just pretty much strictly based on what we said. And so, you know, obviously, that that's, that's, that's not an easy thing to deal with. He's he's doing way better. He's still really old. So I don't know, we're gonna have to deal with this. Soon, you know, at some point, but anyway, so it was just like another thing. And what I was saying, as I keep getting sidetracked, I understand, like, different people's levels of adversity, obviously, these these are in comparison to a lot of different people. These are small, small issues, but that's just what, what I'm handling at the current time. So it got me thinking, and this, this whole thing is what got me thinking about this, this whole topic. And so I started thinking deeply about it, doing some research and kind of refreshing my memory about a lot of things. And it's like, obviously, your life is going to be full of stresses and all this kind of stuff, especially if you're trying to do all kinds of different things. And you know, you're going to be hit with all kinds of different adversities. In life. 9:03 I mean, that's just life in general. So I was thinking about it that, you know, I've heard people tell stories about people that, you know, they're really successful. And then they lost it all in this story is kind of like, oh, well, this thing happened. And then, you know, I really never really recovered from from this bad deal or something like that. And then you know, this happened. And then it's like a series of things happen. And every time that happens, it's sort of chips a little bit away from them, until eventually they kind of feel like they can't get back. They can't get back on track. I've heard this before. And so it got me thinking about the concept of of adversity. And the idea that it could go one or one way or the other, you know, you can allow adversity to tear you down. Or you can actually, you know, utilize it as a form of building yourself up you cuz if you think about it every single time you overcome something, I feel like you get a little bit, you make another deposit in that, like mental toughness bank account, you know what I mean? 10:12 So you're kind of like, every time you overcome something, even if it's small, I feel like you gain a little bit of something. And so it almost seems like that's just a perspective that you have to have in your mind, in order to not let it tear you down. I mean, I'm sure there's stuff that's outside of people's control that, that's going to lead to some kind of breakdown in your mind to where maybe you don't have a choice, I don't know, I think you do have a choice. But I'm just speculating, I think you have a choice to make the decision that these adversities that I'm going through are actually going to be something that, that gives me strength, even though it sucks. Once I get on the other side of it, I'm going to be stronger, I'm going to have more knowledge, I'm going to know that I overcame something, I'm going to feel like I won. All of those kinds of things, I feel like that's just a perspective shift that you can have in your mind, almost no matter what it is you go through, and I try to, I don't know, maybe I don't need to say this, but I understand there's some really terrible shit, you know, that I've never gone through. 11:17 So I'm not trying to say that, across the board. This is just how it is. I'm just this is my perception. So in my opinion, if you have that perspective shift, and you see all of these adversities as a way of building yourself up, and you're seeing that you're actually going to benefit from getting over the other side of them, I feel like that's helpful in itself, just just to help you get through it if you change that perspective in your mind, but you're also building up mental toughness. And so mental toughness, obviously is super important in life, because you need to be able to overcome shit, that's coming your way, especially if you if you believe in this idea that it's just, there's always going to be something over and over again. And so the idea is that cultivate mental toughness. And one of the ways to do that is to have this perspective shift that you're gonna benefit from this. So some of the ways that I found mental toughness to be defined, you know, I'll just go through these resilience, it's your capacity to overcome difficulties, your ability to bounce back from setbacks and things like that, there's a, there's a layer of confidence involved. 12:27 So if you have built up some good mental toughness, when you do go through something, you're going to have confidence that you're going to get out the other side of it, because you've overcome all these things, and you've gained that strength along the way, then there's determination, you know, you're determined to make it through the other side, you're not going to give up you're going to keep pushing through whatever it is, no matter how hard it is, you're going to just keep pushing, there's focus, the ability to, you know, to focus on the task at hand that are the series of tasks that are required to get you on to get you through whatever it is that you're going through, there's control the ability to maintain emotional control. And that's, in my opinion, at least for me, that's one of the hardest things to do. And that's kind of what I was dealing with, when all this shit was happening with the business. I was I was having a lot of trouble maintaining control over my stress levels, you know, some I was allowing my emotions and my What if kind of scenarios to take over. So I was losing, losing control over that stuff. And then another thing is optimism, like maintaining a positive attitude, that you're gonna get through it. And so I kind of had that. So I remember having a meeting with my team when this first happened. 13:42 And, and I was very confident in telling them, like, look, we're going to get through this, you know, regardless of what happens, like, no matter what happens, we're going to find a way, we're going to find a way to make this work. Like I had already started putting plans in place and all this sort of shit for all these different potential scenarios. And so I was often optimistic that that we were going to get through it. So that was, I feel like I feel like over over the years of operating a business and and that's just sort of like par for the course, like you're just always going to have to clean up messes and always going to have to deal with things. So since 2002, I've been running my own businesses, so I've been dealing with all this shit for quite a long time. So I feel like every single time…

Full show notes at the publisher

098: All In or All Out Jul 04, 2023

Show notes

Sometimes it can feel like we're all in, or all out. Slip off your program in any area of life, and things start heading in the all out direction. Every now and then a season of all in commitment, very little "balance" can help to get the momentum going.

Find Bus on various platforms linked here: https://bus.graffitimachine.com/

FULL TRANSCRIPT

0:00 So after recording the last episode, I was talking about the slippery slope and compromises and kind of leading down the path of, you know, getting off track with the things that you want to do. And so I'm still in the process of like, figuring out what it is that I want to do. Well, that's not right. I'm still in the process of, of regaining momentum, and, and getting myself back to where I want to be I'm, I'm on a good path now. But at the same time, I'm trying to think, what exactly do I need to do to achieve these goals that I'm trying to achieve in all these different areas. So I have all these different moving parts, and, and all this kind of shit that I want to do.

0:44 You know, so I'm trying to scale machine studio, also trying to get back into graph and sort of, you know, not relive the glory days or anything crazy like that, I just want to, I just want to be active again, and, and progressing. And I want to see, I just want to see progress in that area. And you know, so I'm trying to get more active in that. And then super serious about personal development and learning. And like I said, in other episodes, I'm trying to learn about spirituality and shit like that, try to get myself better, trying to make sure I'm the best possible person, I can be in my relationship with Jesse. And then on top of that, I want to I want to do more for the graph culture, when a consistent, more consistent on this podcast was, there's all these moving parts, and it's kind of like this weird, this weird thing where like, I could be excelling in one area, and then another area is falling off and shit like that. But then, after the last episode, I realized, one of the things that I had said was, when you compromise in one area, it makes it easy to compromise in other areas. And that's kind of what happened.

1:53 I mean, I was getting complacent in a lot of areas of my life. And I'm not trying to beat myself up about it. I'm not trying to make this like a fucking pity party, because I don't, I don't operate like that. And, and I know, I'm working hard. I know, I'm doing a lot of things. And so I do cut myself some slack. But at the same time, when I really evaluate myself, and I do it, honestly, and really audit my time and like, how am I spending my time? How am I spending my energy? Who am I? Who am I giving my energy to, and all these kinds of things. I see a ton of holes in in my game, and I think that's healthy, you know, to, to audit yourself and just see if you're, if you're honest with yourself, there's probably so much shit going on that that you you just know, you know, you're doing so anyway, when he got me to thinking about was kind of along the lines of something that Mark is a really, as Anderson said, when he was on the show a little while back, I believe it was, there's only one level of commitment. And that's total. I thought that was just so cool.

3:00 Because it's like, I find myself, you know, when I'm doing something I'll commit to it, but but but at the same time, I find myself kind of more dabbling a little bit. I don't know if that's the right word, but had this idea in my head, I'm like, am I dabbling in this shit? Or am I doing my best to dominate in that area? So it was like, if I look at graffiti, obviously, I'm not. I have had times in my life when dominating, was what I was trying to do. But at the same time, it's like realistic, what you're up against, you know, so like, in my day, when I was the most active, I'm never going to be as active as somebody like GK or, or some of those kinds of people. Like, that's not really. So I guess when you when I think about dominating, it's like, Am I pushing myself as hard as I possibly can to the, to the best of my ability within the sort of boundaries that I have set for myself. So when I was in the bombing, and all that sort of stuff, there was certain boundaries that I wasn't going to do. Like, I wasn't going to hang off of bridges. I wasn't going to do any of those kinds of Daredevil spots. I tried a couple of them and I I just knew on the last one, I was like, This is not for me, this is for some other people. And I think if I try to keep forcing myself to do this stuff, it's gonna kill me.

4:21 There's a there's an episode, where can I talk about this? And he has, I think it was called gut feeling its way back. But he he tells a story about something like that too. But anyway, that's not really what I wanted to talk about. But so what I'm trying to think of now is like, I need to sit you know, I'm throwing this whole idea of balance out out the window, outside of like, I'm not going to ruin my relationship to achieve the things I want to do but outside of that, I need to go into like a season of complete and total imbalance meaning I gotta be so fucking hyper committed to to be dominant and all those areas that I listed, and pour as much resources as I possibly can into those things, and I have a feeling that that's, I have a feeling that that's what I need to do, at least for the next three months or something like that. I remember Alex or mosey said something like that on one of his episodes. And I took a bunch of notes on it, he was talking about, he went into like this season of no where he was like, hyper disciplined on, on really not saying yes to anything that was outside of what he was trying to do. And so that's kind of the, that's kind of along the lines that I'm thinking I'm trying to create a system that, that I can be hyper disciplined, and making sure everything gets handled in all of these areas.

5:46 So I'll just run through, I didn't write anything down. So this may be a little jumbled. But I'm going to run through sort of what I plan to do. And maybe that might help some other people that may be struggling with this. And maybe you can kind of create your own sort of hyper discipline kind of plan for yourself. So I did a, I did a lot of thinking about graffiti and all this kind of stuff. And like, what is it that I'm prepared to do? And what is it that I could I could actually commit to doing that won't fuck with my other stuff. So I mean, now, so what I've done is I've committed one, one day a week, every Sunday, I'm going to paint something and I've told, I've told Jesse, this, I put it on my schedule, that I don't have to be at the studio on Sunday. And I've, I've sort of imprinted my brain that that's something that's just going to happen. So if I do that every single week, then that'll be significantly more painting that I've been that I've probably done in the last decade, or maybe even more, I don't know, I don't I don't know that I ever stuck to like a really strict schedule. So that's, that's what I plan to do if I paint every single week, and I'm also trying to sketch something every day. So if, and it doesn't have to be this new brand new thing, I don't have to spend all this fucking time like, I just have to draw something every day.

7:05 So if I do a sketch of some letters that I've already drawn, I'm good I, I, I've achieved that commitment. And then on Sunday, I gotta paint something. And so if I don't have any time, I'll just go somewhere and do a throwaway and get that in. And whatever it is, I'm committed to doing that, then for health, I was working out six days a week, because I'm doing this program. But I'm noticing, that's kind of a problem for me, I really need to be doing something seven days a week, because I have this like, it's like all in or out all out kind of thing like that one day off, it fucks with me, and I know there's benefits to it. So I think on the seventh day, I'm probably just gonna take take that day, and I'll walk or something to where my body can still have that recovery day. But at the same time, it's like that, I just need to go all in. Like that's how it works. That's really how my brain works, especially in that area. So like, if I say, I'm going to work out six days a week, and I don't have I don't know, what I end up doing is I kind of move that, that day around, I don't know, it's stupid, it's like, one day, I'll take Tuesday off. And then next week, I'll take Sunday off. And it just, I don't know, it just leads to compromise for me. So I'm just going to work out seven days a week. So every single day, I'm gonna get something, get something done.

8:34 And the goal is to knock that out first thing in the morning. So that it's done, because something that I've learned about myself is I do have a tendency to not want to work out in the morning. And then I say, Well, as soon as I get home, I'll do a workout, then I'll get home and then I'm hungry or some shit anyway, it doesn't get done. So I got to either commitment is seven days a week, of six days a week of a workout. And the seven day will be sort of like resting recovery, which is like walking or, or something like that. So seven days a week of work. I gotta commit to the diet. I mean, I don't want to call it I mean, it is a diet technically, but commit to the kind of eating habits that I that that I normally do, and not deviate from those, at least for the next three months. So I'm talking about like, what have you set up a hyper discipline, three month timeline, that's three months in the course of your whole life, you can change so much shit in that amount of time if you if you get hyper disciplined. So with work and scaling my business, it's the power list. I got to do five critical tasks every day and I'm gonna be much more committed to winning every single day because the slippery slope thing hits there too. So like

9:57 I remember I had I think I had this really long story because if you get your five critical tasks done, then you can write a W next to the next to the page. And so what I was doing to kind of see what my streak was, every time I get a, when I write the number of the streak that I'm on, and I ended up ended up at one point, I think I'll have to go through my book. But I think I ended up having a streak of like, 30 Something days in a row, where every single day I was, I won. And then there was one day where I compromised and I was like, I don't remember how it came up. I don't know, maybe I sort of forgot a task. And I realized that the next day, but anyway, I got a loss. And ever since that happened, it was so much easier to take another loss because the streak was, you know, by the time the streak gets long, like after 510 days in a row, you know it, it implants, some shit into your mind, you're like, I really don't want to break this streak. So you're more, at least for me, you're more, you know, on top of it to make sure you get all those tasks done.

11:07 And so I found, after getting that one last for the day, it was just so much easier to you know, if I get to the point where, you know, it's getting kind of late, and I still have one more task, and I'm like, I fuck it, I'll just take a loss. And every time you do that, it just chips away at your discipline, like it just pushes you further down the slope, you know, and so I need to, I need to get committed to winning every single day. And, and not compromising. And if I do happen to lose like it happens. I got to make sure that that's not opening up the door to to allowing more losses later. And so for this podcast, I mean, if you're a regular listener, I don't know, I don't know how people consume content these days. So if I don't know, if you expect it to come out a certain day, I don't know, maybe let me know, send me email or hit me up on social because I'm actually kind of curious about that. Like, do you guys listen? I know this show is very inconsistent. But like, if you have a show that is consistent, do you expect it to come out at a certain time, like, at a certain time, every week? Or do you just sort of listen to it whenever you get to it, that's how I consume content. So I think that's part of why that's part of why I've, I've allowed my mind to let it be easier to sort of put this shit out whenever I get to it. So for this, this podcast is really important to me.

12:32 So I'm going to get a lot more discipline, I'm going to record on the same day, I'm going to edit on the same day, I'm going to release them on the same the same day, every week at the same time. Like that's the goal. That's the level of commitment that I'm getting to. So I know those are all like, personal to me. But I think those kinds of things can be applicable to other people, I just, I don't know how else to explain it other than giving examples. So it's just like, if you have a goal and you want to get to a certain place, I personally don't see anything wrong with having a period of time, with absolutely no balance or very, very little balance. A lot of people talk about balance. And I feel like it tends to sort of allow too much too much compromise and too much too much balance in the wrong direction. And it's not, it's not I don't know, a lot of times it doesn't seem to be balanced. You know, you hear people talking about Balanced eating, but they're 100 pounds overweight. And it's like, that's not that's not balanced. And like for me, I haven't been balanced eating, I don't even know what the fuck that means. Like, I don't know what I'm talking about. So I don't know, I think that I think that a period of time of imbalance in terms of being hyper disciplined, and focused on the shit you want to achieve.

13:52 And, and spending as much of your resources as you possibly can to make that stuff happen. I can see that being beneficial for a period of time. I mean, I understand that committing to doing that shit every single day for the rest of your life and never taken a break and all that kind of stuff. I understand that's not that's not really healthy. I understand that but but maybe you could do that for a period of time. Enter enter a period of time where you're just like, you tell everybody around you just like look, I need this amount of time to fucking get this shit done. Whatever it is, for me, I need to get my my body to a place where I'm happy my mind to a place where I'm somewhat satisfied, I guess in a better place than it is now. I have to get my business to a certain place I have to get consistent on this podcast. I got to get consistent on graffiti, and all all. While doing all of that shit. I need to make sure that my relationship with Jesse is strong. That's actually the top priority. But if I get All of this other stuff in order that's automatically going to help in that area to I'm going to be a much better person. So I don't know if that's helpful. I hope it is. So I'm out. I don't know. I don't know what else to say later

15:22 All right, I appreciate each and every one of you guys who are supporting the cause and continue to spread the love and yeah, stay up

097: Slippery Slope Jun 27, 2023

Show notes

A lot of compromises can be a slippery slope. One compromise leads to another, then another, then next thing you know, shit can get out of control. It happens to all of us. The key is to keep an eye on it, and if you do fall off track, get that momentum going again. Even if you have to force it. Find Bus on various platforms linked here: https://bus.graffitimachine.com/ Full Transcript 0:00 I want to talk about something I'm dealing with right now. It's like this fucking slippery slope. Like when you compromise on one thing, how it kind of leads to more and more compromises. And I got a bunch of shit written out here. But I want to start just kind of defining what I mean by that. So like, let's just say, you're trying to live a different kind of lifestyle than you normally do. And this could apply apply to a lot of different things. I know I talked about like health and fitness a lot. But this is where I'm dealing with it right now. But a little later on. I'm also going to talk about some other some other things where I've seen this happen and other things, other examples where it might might apply. But in actuality, it can apply to just about anything, but let me get into it. Because I'm already rambling. 0:49 What I'm talking about here is like, like, for me, for example, what's happening right now is, as I mentioned, I broke my toe, and it kind of threw off my exercise. And then I think that was a worthwhile thing to sort of, I don't even know if that would fall under the category, but it was a worthwhile thing to sort of step away from just temporarily until my my foot healed up, it was like, but what I'm talking about are the times when you call something off, when you know, you should, and you don't really have a good reason to. 1:24 So for example, like, I like to be healthy. So that requires eating healthy. And it requires exercise and moving around and shit. For the most part, I don't necessarily enjoy all of those things, you know, I, I do like the food that I eat, you know, I've been eating healthy food for a long enough period of time to where I've found a xqlot of recipes that I like, and I've learned how to cook in season things in the way that you know, they really do taste just as good as the shitty food. But there's still kind of like a draw to like those sugary things or, you know, stuff with extra fat or kind of like fast food type of shit, there's always that kind of draw to want to eat that stuff. 2:06 So that's kind of what I'm talking about. So. So even though I want to live that life, there's always like, times when I have to kind of talk myself out of doing something that I'm not supposed to do, and when it's when it comes to exercise. For most of the time, I have to, I have to really talk myself into into doing that, because it's not something I really enjoy doing. But and so like a good example of a compromise would be, you know, I wake up in the morning, I'm all tired. I do my kind of basic routines have a cup of coffee drink, read, read my 10 pages. And then after I read my 10 pages and get a meditation session in, that's when I'm supposed to work out. So a lot of times, when it gets to that point where I'm supposed to work out, I really have to kind of tell myself, Hey, man, it's time to get this done. 2:57 And so if I, if I choose not to do that, let's say, right now I'm on a good kind of pattern, I guess you could say I'm working out six days a week, not doing 75 hard right now, I'm just kind of like working out six days a week and kind of doing everything else I'll get back on 75 hard a little later. But right now I want to try this thing I read this book called simple and sinister. It's worth checking out. It's pretty cool. It's like this kind of kettlebell workout. So I really wanted to try that. So that's what I'm doing six days a week. And it's pretty easy to get myself to do that, even after a few days in a row because you get a streak going. And I'll talk about that a little bit later. But let's say you know, I'm on a good path, and everything's going well. And then one day I'm like, You know what I just really don't feel like working out. And that's the kind of compromise I'm talking about. 3:50 So it's not the kind of compromise where I'm like, You know what, I got some lower back pain, I think it probably be better to rest today. So I can get after it tomorrow. That's not the same thing. It's when you when you know you should do something, but you make a conscious decision to not do it simply because you don't want to do it and you let that sort of inner dialogue when that little battle with yourself. And so anyway, back to like what what I'm dealing with currently, like I'm back on the exercise, but over the time while I was waiting for my, my foot to heal, and I was kind of taking it easy. I sort of compromised a little bit too much on my food. 4:31 And so I'm never ever going back to where I was. And that was quite, I mean, I was never like massively overweight, but I was probably I'd probably say like 60 pounds overweight was like the heaviest I ever got, which is just, you know, it's not healthy and I don't I don't ever want to go back to that. But that being said, I did compromise quite a bit over these last few weeks. And I really see the the effects of it, you know, so now I add these workout shorts that I wear all the time. And they're, they don't fit, they don't fit as good as they used to, they're kind of tight, and there's certain shirts I can't wear right now. I mean, I'll get it back together pretty quickly, with, with clean food and exercise, I didn't go that far off the rails. 5:19 But the fact is, is this is what I wanted to talk about, it's a slippery slope. And, and the further down the slope you get, the easier while I would say the harder it is to get back on track. So like I said, it starts with like, one compromise, right. And maybe that was like, me deciding not to work out. Because I had broke my big toe, I probably could have worked out. So I don't know if I should or, or shouldn't have, and I talked about that already. So I'm not gonna get too far into it. Maybe I could have and maybe that was the compromises started leading down the path. 5:23 And so. So what's interesting about the slippery slope is like, not only when you compromise in one area, it starts making it easier to compromise in other areas. So the not working out anymore, sort of gave my brain a little bit of a free pass, so to speak, to compromise on my food a little bit more. And then, you know, I'm kind of, in sort of a mental rut a little bit with work and the things that I'm supposed to be doing with work, like I'm working all the time, but like, I'm not being as productive as I should be. I think that's also kind of tying in, in a way, like, compromising in one area, allows compromises in other areas. 6:39 So, you know, when you compromise, also, it could kind of impact like your perceived failure, so to speak. So like, let's say, you're on a diet or your, you've decided, I don't really like that idea of, of a diet, like the temporary sort of, like, I'm gonna eat like this for this amount of time and lose this much weight. Like I, I never really did well with that stuff. But for me, it was always like, I need to make a lifestyle change and, and do something like when I was young, I was in high school, and I started working out. And I was, remember, I was working out three days a week, my dad had bought some weight set or some shit. And he was like, hey, you know, that's good. You're working out. And he's like, You got to do this for the rest of your life. I was like, Oh, shit, like, I never thought about it like that. I was pretty young. And so I was doing really well. I guess this is the first time I can remember this happening. So I was doing really well. Had I had I stuck with it, I would, I would have a lot better habits. Well, maybe I don't know, maybe my body be all jacked up or something. Who knows. But the what ended up happening back then was I was doing really well. And I think I was working out steady for free a few weeks or something. And then I got the flu real bad. And I think it knocked me out of commission for a few days. And then I never really got back into it. 8:00 And so it's almost like, I don't know, it's, I guess that's not really a good example. But like, when you when you say you know, I'm going to skip this workout, because I just don't feel like doing it. That is, in my opinion, that's kind of a failure. That's when you and maybe that's a strong word. That's that's the way I look at it. I'm not saying you failed, I'm saying that for me, I failed. If I know I should do something. And the only reason I'm not doing it is because I want don't want to I see that as a failure. So what I think it happens psychologically, is your perception of that failure may lead to, you know, oh, well, I already fucked up that. And so I might as well just stay off track. In fact, I heard I had already wrote this all out. And I was listening to Alex Hermozi podcast episode this morning. And he was talking about something like this, where he was saying, if you're on a diet and you, you eat fucked up, a lot of people will say something like, Alright, I'm off my diet, because you fucked up that one time. Whereas the better way to go is to course correct. And get back on track. 9:12 So one example that he said, is like, let's say you're counting calories and you went 100 calories over, it doesn't mean you're gonna give yourself a free pass to eat 15 pizzas because you're like, Oh, I missed my calorie point. I might as well just Just fuck off this whole thing. He was saying, you know, just do 100 calories less the next day, and then you're maintaining your goal. And those are the kinds of things I think I don't consciously think about that stuff. But I think that's sort of how it leads in the direction of, you know, the slippery slope, like where I'm at right now. Like, I'm pretty disappointed in myself. That my shorts don't fit me right now. I'm pretty fucking disappointed that I have shirts that I don't want to wear because they don't fit All right, so I want to get back to that as quick as possible, 10:04 I'm also going to be 50 and three months, and I'm like, man I got, I really gotta get, I gotta get, I want to enter my 50s in the best shape I've ever gotten. So I got three months to get my shit together. And I kind of wish I didn't compromise as much leading up to now. So if I had been starting this three months where I was before, I don't know, maybe a couple months back, you know, I'd be enduring 50 Probably a lot better, but we'll see. I'm gonna get it together. But it's very important. Like I was saying what Alex Hermozi said, to recognize these little slips as a temporary thing. It's not, that's, that's where I think a lot of people fuck up is like, you know, when you when you start sliding down that slope, and you're like, Well fuck it, you know, and you start saying, fuck it to too many different things. 10:53 What's more healthy is if you fuck up. And the next day, maybe you're disappointed, and you're like, you know what, I totally fucked up. Instead of like, thinking, Well fuck it, I'm just going to do whatever, the better way to go is, is to course correct. And maybe go a little harder that next day make up for it, I don't know, whatever it is you have to do to get back on track. So it sort of comes down to creating this sort of personal rules for yourself. So for me, they're not really written down. But it's like, things that I've sort of developed over time. There's certain things that I do, like I eat healthy, I exercise I meditate, you know, I make sure I'm not getting complacent in my relationship and things like that. So I don't know, maybe I should write these things down. And maybe that would be a healthy thing, healthy thing to do. But if you have these rules, you can always go back on. So if you do fuck up, you're like, you know what this isn't. 11:46 This is just, you know, I fucked up this day, and I'm going to get back on track. You know, it's interesting, too, because if you think about failure, and kind of overcoming the failure, you're still, you're still benefiting from, from that if you bounce back from it, because you're building up mental toughness, you're building up resilience and all that kind of shit. So that might be another mindset shift, to where when you fuck up. Instead of beating yourself up about it, you might think of it as an opportunity. And this isn't like giving your self a pass to fuck up to keep trying to build up this mental toughness. 12:20 But let's say you, let's say you fuck up on on whatever it is that you're doing. And I'll give some other examples. I know, I'm kind of talking about diet and shit. But this is sort of where I'm at right now. But if you fuck up, and you, you recognize that you fucked up, and then you course correct, and you get back on track, you've kind of made a deposit in your sort of mental toughness bank account and your resiliency bank account, if you want to think of it like that. So every time you overcome a failure, you get a little bit stronger. So that's not it's not all bad. When you slip off track, I mean, you actually have a little bit of an opportunity to kind of build up a little bit of a little bit of that was something that I was doing a little research on this topic. 13:03 And something that I I came across that I thought was pretty interesting that I might try to do is, is create, you might have heard of it. It's like an if then planning type of thing. I think it's like, it's also in like a programming language. Like, if this happens, then do this, if this happens, then do that. So what have you kind of created sort of an if if then system for yourself, for the things that you want to stay on track with? So if you're a graphic writer, and you want to say paint, once a week, or maybe more, I don't know, X amount of times a week? Let's say if you fall off, then what are you going to do? So let's say you fuck up, and you skip a week, then what? Okay, so then next week, I have to make up for it, I got to do two or three things, or whatever that is, your goal is if you if you fuck up on your exercise, then what? I'm gonna do my normal workout Plus, I'm gonna walk for 45 minutes, something like that, like what have you created a system for yourself? So that you're already sort of ready with, with a response, you have like a sort of a pre programmed response, for course, correcting yourself. 14:15 I did, I wanted to kind of give some other examples of things that I've kind of noticed this slippery slope happened, just so that so that it's not just about this diet and exercise, obviously, that that's the one that I'm talking about right now. And like I just mentioned with graffiti, this is something that happens to me all the time. And a lot of graffiti writers can probably relate to this, especially the older ones. You know, when you when you have momentum, and I'm going to get more on, talk more about t…

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096: Beyond Negativity Jun 15, 2023

Show notes

Negative emotions can be damaging to your physical and mental health, but they're also a normal part of the human experience. According to the law of polarity, you can't have one without the other. Lets talk about some tools we can use to limit the power of negativity. Find Bus on various platforms linked here: https://bus.graffitimachine.com/ Episode Transcription: 0:00 So I've been thinking about the effects of negative emotions and shit like that like, stress, I guess stress would be a negative, yeah, of course, stress, anger, anxiety, all that kind of stuff. So the effects that it has on your physical health, it's something that I learned later in life. And it was, it was kind of surprising, because at first, when I started hearing about it, I'm like, How is it that like, shit that's going on your mind is going to negatively affect what's happening in your body. And I'm not a doctor, obviously. So I mean, I don't fucking know for sure how this stuff works. But my understanding is like, negative shit, like stress and all that stuff that kind of raises different things in your body, like cortisol. And that's stuff is beneficial for I got some notes here, like regulating blood sugar levels, and metabolism and all this kind of stuff. But when you're in a constant state of, of like anxiety, or stress or something, my understanding is it keeps these levels high, and then that stuff starts negatively affecting your body. 1:04 So what's kind of interesting is, when you think about the the mind and body connection, I mean, it's, you know, I think I've mentioned this before, how I always thought of them as two separate things, but it's like the brain is in your body. So it's kind of stupid to think about it like that. But anyway, so. So I wanted to talk about that, because something got me thinking about this more, and sort of the direction of like, my reading and stuff has kind of changed a little bit more towards like spirituality and understanding, you know, the reason for fucking all this shit. It's kind of, I don't know, I'm just trying to find some new shit. And I've talked, if you've listened to the last few episodes, I've been talking about stuff like that. So. So it's interesting. I put a bunch of bullet points together. So I'm gonna just work through this. But one of the things that got me thinking is, okay, so 1:55 So what ended up happening is, I was doing 75 heart, I was like, three days in, and I was like, all kind of like, hyped up about this round. And I've done it a bunch of times, but like, this time, I was like, Alright, I'm gonna get a schedule, I'm gonna do all these kinds of things. I'm gonna put everything in place. And I'm gonna get like hyper disciplined and structure my day and do things just a little bit more intense, and put more into it and all that stuff. And so I was all hyped up about it. And then, I don't know if I told this story. I hope it didn't. So I'll just kind of summarize it real quick. But anyway, we were moving a piece of equipment into the, into the shop, and it fell over and it landed on my toe, so I broke my toe. totally smashed it. You know what I did talk about this anyway. So if you listen to the previous episodes, you already know, so I smashed by toe. And then I got off of I just decided, I don't know, I had it in my head. I was like, if I if I still work out on a broken toe, it's just gonna, just gonna take longer to heal. 2:54 And like my girlfriend, Jessie, she's kind of a, she's, she's, she's crazy when it comes to stuff like this, like she's broken her toe and like, fucked up her ankle and she still goes to the gym, and she still runs on him. And she's like it at fucking Krav Maga classes, like doing fucking, her kicks are insane. Like I've trained, I trained with her and I hold the bag for like, it's like have like a tree trunk hitting the side of a bag. So like, she's just like going full power, kicking heavy bags with like, three broken toes. And I'm just like, Man, I don't got it like that. That's too much for me. So I was like, I'm just gonna chill, and rest and let this fucking thing heal. I had it in my mind. Like, if you rest, you know, your body's able to put more energy towards that. I don't know, I just what I had in my mind. Like, if I were to work out, I'm like, it's going to divert resources, and it's going to take longer for the toe to heel. 3:48 Long story short, I took a couple weeks off, I don't know how long it's been. And so the longer I get away from that, you know, the more compromises of food and shit like that, and you know, like my body, I can start seeing like, shit change. And I'm like, Man, kind of fallen off my game. And then exercise is so important physical exercise, you just got to do it. It's like, I'm just so much more emotionally, like, in control. I'm just feeling better. It's, it's well known that exercise is very helpful in this way. 4:23 So anyway, I kind of slipped into sort of a rut. And I was, I was feeling a lot of negative emotions. And I've been reading Eckhart Tolle, I don't know if he say that. That's how you say his name. He writes a lot about spirituality and stuff. And so I'm reading one of his books, I think, like the power of now and then I'm listening to another one called a new earth. And he talks a lot about this kind of shit. And he has some interesting ways of looking at negative emotion. So I'll get to that in a second. 4:54 But, so there's two things right, so you have negative emotions, and positive emotions and so of course, into the, if you listen to the laws of the universe episode, or if you've read books on it, the law of polarity states that you can't have one thing without the other. So you don't have positive without negative, you don't have light without darkness and all these kinds of things. So if you think about negative and positive emotions, if you were always happy and always positive, and always, you know, on top of shit, that would just be normal. So I just believe that if you didn't experience these negative emotions, or if you didn't experience these lows, you wouldn't really be, you wouldn't really feel the highs as much, and maybe you wouldn't be as grateful when they're there. You know, that's my opinion. So it's not really about eliminating negative emotions. For me, it's like, obviously, you want to have more highs than lows, but at the same time, I believe that there's a balance to all these kinds of things. So you're gonna have highs and lows. And that's just kind of like the normal way that the normal human experience, right. 6:01 So if you listen to Eckhart Tolle, he talks a lot about this, and one of the things he talks about is something called the pain body. So according to him, it's old emotional pain that has become part of your identity. So a lot of times when you're feeling these emotions, that's where it's coming from. You said the pain body is created through like a process of identification with past emotional traumas. Now, I don't know if that's what happens to me. I mean, I don't know, I think it's more for me, I think it's more I stress about the future a lot. So like, I find a heart, I find it hard to be present. You know, during this kind of downtime in my, in my exercise, like, exercise really helps me not sort of live like that, you know, so anyway, 6:44 so mainly about what I wanted to talk about with that card toll is his idea of non resistance, which I really like, if you think about it, when you're having like negative emotions, like if you're pissed, if you're stressed or something like that. You're trying to resist it, you know, you're trying to, you know, for me, I think I think part of what keeps me in that state is that I'm unhappy that I'm in that state, if that makes sense. So when he talks about is like, non resistance, and I think what was the other thing, he said something about, like, oh, he said, like acceptance and surrender, it's almost like, at some point, you're feeling all these negative emotions, and then you're, you're feeling negative emotions, because you have a negative opinion about the fact that you're feeling like that. So it just keeps feeding itself. And it's hard to get yourself out of it because of that. And so one of the things that he talks about that's really interesting is like, instead of sitting there and being upset that you're upset, what if you were to just say, you know, except that, that you're like that, except that that's what you're feeling in the moment, just stay in the present, and be like, This is what I'm experiencing right now. And that's okay. It's not the end of the world. And it's like part of the human experience, it's part of the law of polarity. It's like, I'm feeling this way that today, or maybe, you know, hopefully, it doesn't last the whole day. For me, it doesn't generally. 8:08 But I'm feeling this way right now. And then later, I'm probably going to feel good, and it's going to kind of go back and forth. And, you know, happiness is one of those things that sort of comes and goes and same thing with stress and negative emotions. But if you're sitting there stressed about the fact that you're stressed or unhappy that about the fact that you're sad about something or whatever, it's, I believe, it's going to keep you in that state for longer. So if you just accept the fact that that's how you feel, and just sort of be there in the moment, and just be cool with it, then it's most likely going to go away faster. And that's what I've been, I've been experiencing, but also I've been exercising again. So I think that's very helpful. 8:50 So another thing he talks about is observing the emotion. So if you're sitting there feeling some kind of stress, if you can kind of disconnect from the fact that it's you that's feeling that and be the observer of it, it's kind of a weird thing, and I've talked about it with meditation before, it's an interesting way to sort of come at, come at this type of thing. So like, when you use that kind of technique and meditation, let's say you're trying to learn how to meditate and you're doing the thing I talked about, like where you focus on your breath. And then these thoughts keep sort of creeping in, you can look at the thoughts like if you if you take the what is it like the seat of the observer? So like, I just want to observe those thoughts. It's kind of weird, how they just go away, because it's almost like you can't really focus on the two things at the same time. And with emotional with negative emotions, it doesn't, I find that it doesn't really quite work like that. But at the same time, if I if I take the seat of the observer, and I just, you know, observe the emotions, it reduces their intensity, and that's the other thing that Eckhart Tolle talks about. So it's kind of a interesting way of approaching it. 10:02 So another thing he talks about, and this is, this is kind of, it's obvious to me now that I know it, but now, I didn't always know it. So it's, it's interesting, like, not identifying with the negative emotions is super helpful. So like, for example, if you were like saying, I'm just a stressed out person, or I have anxiety, or all these kinds of things, like if you're, if you're identifying as somebody that exists like this, it's not realistic, it's not, that's not who you are these negative things, and these kinds of things that maybe are sort of working their way into being part of your identity, isn't that really, your identity, it's just shit that sort of passing, passing through. So it's like, kind of like, what I was talking about with the law of polarity, like, negative emotions are going to come and go, positive emotions are going to come and go, neither one of those things are really part of your identity, part of your identity, it's just part of your experience, your human experience. 11:02 And so another sort of practical way of of using this non resistance is just sort of accepting the kinds of things that might stress you out. So like, for me, I'm, I'm dealing with all this shit, my business that's completely out of my control and studying stoicism, I should know better than to let these things that are out of my control, affect me negatively, because that's really like a huge part of the, the stoic philosophy. So it's easier said than done, obviously. But if you just accept the fact that this stuff is happening, and just understand that this is just part of the human experience, like the shit that's stressing me out or my business, I could just accept that it's happening, I could do everything that's in my control, to try to fix everything. But the stuff that's out of my control, it's just, that's, that's all it is, I just have to accept that it's happening. And so all of these kinds of ways of looking at dealing with stress and kind of disconnecting and accepting and all this kind of shit, it's very helpful, because there's not really much else that I can do. Like, if, if these things are going to happen anyway. And I'm going to stress about it, then then not only are they not only are these things going to happen, but now I'm fucking up my health, by allowing myself to be so affected by it. Whereas if I could just accept the things that are happening, understand that they're, they're not within my control, especially if I'm taking proactive action on the things that I can control, then that's really all I can do. 12:36 So there's really no choice but to accept it, or to sit there and dwell in it. And obviously, sitting there and dwelling and it is, it's just not a good way to go. So it's, like I said, all this shit is easier. It's much easier said than done. But it's like, these are tools that you can kind of like try to use, you know, to create these habits and create these skills to be able to deal with this kind of shit. Because everybody has shit. Like there's, I don't believe there's anybody in life that doesn't deal with shit. Like you could, you could compare your shit to other people and think like, well, you know, this guy has no arms and no legs, like, what am I complaining about, it's not going to make your shit shit any easier to deal with, because somebody has it worse than you, you know, so. So we all need these kinds of tools, like we all need these ways of dealing with, with whatever shit it is we're dealing with. 13:27 So although these action steps tend to be a little bit repetitive, especially when I'm talking about shit like this, I'll just go through them anyway. But it's obviously recapping, some of what I just talked about is like not judging the emotions, not judging yourself for having these emotions and just sort of accepting them. And understanding this is just part of the human experience. This is what you're feeling right now. Try not to have an opinion on it, try not to dwell on it and just sort of like, observe the emotions and see if that helps kind of ease it a little bit, especially not having an opin…

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