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    News

    The Fifth Column

    Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

    www.wethefifth.com

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    Copyright: © The Fifth Column

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    Latest Episodes:
    Enthusiastic Armadas, Armenian Bakeries, Ye’s Apology Ad - #542 Jan 29, 2026
    Show notes

    -The NYC Rolling Hobo Express

    -An Enthusiastic Armada Full of Speed and Violence

    -Iranian Death Toll Discourse and Roger Waters Still Sucks

    -The Donroe Doctrine and the Near Abroad Dodge

    -Everyone’s Favorite Powder Keg

    -A Norwegian, A Rat Bag, and a Lunatic

    -A disgusting thing to say

    -Noem’s Bellebolent Hypotheticals

    -Stephen Miller’s Basement Lotions and the Little Rogaine Carpet

    -Fingerers, Reach-Arounds, and Reaganite as a Slur

    -Anne Cool-ter

    -Fuck You Jonathan

    -Mehmet Oz, P.I.

    -Ye’s apology ad and the uncanny valley of writing

    -One from the Mailbag

    Prefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifthdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.

    The Fifth Column (A Podcast) is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

    Follow The Fifth Column

    YouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn


    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

    TACO Tuesday in Minneapolis and the Fall of the Short King Cop (Members Only #298) Jan 27, 2026
    Show notes

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

    -A huge TACO Tuesday

    -Survival of the Spineless

    -Low-level insurgency infrastructure

    -Astroturf panic and the suspicious run to Walgreens

    -The problem with punching Nazis

    -Walz and Trump finally talk

    -Fuck you, Ted

    -The Great American Slur Revival

    -Short king Bovino and the self-inflicted smoke bomb

    -Democracy Dies in Payroll

    -World’s Biggest Russophobe Longs for…


    One Hitter: Another ICE Shooting In Minneapolis with Peter Moskos (Members Only #297) Jan 24, 2026
    Show notes

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

    One topic in the news. One quick podcast on that single topic (rather than just texting each other about how certain media figures are vulgar, stupid, and morally depraved). Welcome back to the Fifth Column One Hitter!

    In the hours after ICE shot and killed Alex Pretti, we gathered at the studio to sit down with Peter Moskos: former police officer, current John Jay…


    Trump Would Do Anything For Greenland (But He Won't Do That) - #541 Jan 22, 2026
    Show notes

    •Don Does Davos•I Would Do Anything for Greenland (But I Won’t Do That)•Even MAGA Thought the Norway Text Was Fake News•The Danes’ Historical Resistance to Fascism•A Lament for the Belgian Congo•Cutting a Greenland Cake, and the Epidemic of Stupidity•Who the Fuck Is “We”?•Congress Could Do Something That Isn’t Impeachment•Shame Doesn’t Work•Past the Point of Passivity•Punching a Transtifa Baby•Macron and Those Beautiful Sunglasses•Carney Invokes Václav Havel: Rupture, Not Transition•Middle Powers, Beta Powers•Soleimani in Iceland•China Is Asshole•The Man Is Fucking Old and Loves His Prizes•Breaking: Strange Victory, Strange Defeat•Letter Bag: Minneapolis•Get Out of the Fucking Churches•The Abbott & Costello Theory of Government

    Prefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifthdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 8PM EST.

    Follow The Fifth Column

    YouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn


    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

    Football, Billy Joel, Van Halen, and the Fact-Checkable Life (w/ Chuck Klosterman) - Members Only #296 Jan 20, 2026
    Show notes

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

    Chuck Klosterman’s new book, Footballis out now! (See also The Nineties, and Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs)

    -The music-doc cinematic universe, featuring Billy Joel and Japanese Jimmy Page

    -Moynihan missed the Morrissey cover-band boat

    -How to actually say Klosterman

    -From pop culture to America’s most popular TV show

    -It had to be football: the one exception …


    The Revolutionaries (w/ Jack Henneman) - #2 Jan 16, 2026
    Show notes

    Two hundred and fifty years ago this very day, a gallant-strolling cat named George Washington convened in Cambridge about as high a level Patriot meeting as you could muster: John Adams, two major generals, five brigadier generals, and arguably the most connected man among the Boston rebels, Joseph Warren. There, the commander in chief persuaded his War Council of the “indispensible necessity of making a Bold attempt” to kick the goddamned Redcoats out of Boston.

    That plan, successfully executed seven weeks later, relied on three precursor acts of Yankee derring-do. Ranked in reverse chronological order, they were: 1) Henry Knox’s noble train of artillery, moving 60 tons of British cannon & artillery 300 miles from Fort Ticonderoga to Boston; 2) the rebel capture of Fort Ticonderoga before that, by Benedict Arnold, Ethan Allen, and the Soggy Bottom Green Mountain Boys; and 3) the legendary, gunpowder-saving, militia-rallying warning from arguably the second most connected man in revolutionary Beantown, Paul Revere. Who probably wasn’t invited to the War Council meeting because ... he wasn’t a gentleman.

    I first learned about how strangely underrated and quintessentially American Paul Revere was last April by listening to a couple of sidebar episodes of Jack Henneman’s great The History of the Americans podcast. Henneman, not just a listener of The Fifth Column but a Never Fly Coacher, had to kind of cheat to do the Revere episodes, because his pod, which just celebrated its five-year anniversary, goes so meticulously through the timeline of “vast early America” that his most recent episode still only gets us to the 1680s. (Not that I’m there yet; this truly is a podcast you want to start from the beginning.)

    We’re honored to have Jack for our second installment of The Revolutionaries miniseries; to talk both about Paul Revere and also his own fascinating backstory of how a successful “corporate tool” ends up doing the Mother of All retirement/Covid-madness projects, and why he’s so mad about “presentism.” Enjoy!

    * The voice that puts me to sleep

    * “In September of 2020, we were all still more or less losing our minds”

    * England has one, why don’t we?

    * Blue highways, dive bars: See America, people!

    * Presentism: Bad, corrupting, cheap, boring

    * “You will develop a real humility about how you look at the world that you live in”

    * The insane story of Álvar Núñez Cabeza de Vaca

    * Paul Revere, with or without the Raiders

    * “Every red-blooded American should read” David Hackett Fischer’s Paul Revere’s Ride

    * “This almost uniquely early-American American”

    * An artisan is not a gentleman

    * Cock-blocked by George W.

    * The “walking LinkedIn guy” of rebel Boston

    * A “lower talk-to-do ratio”

    * Thomas Gage was actually kinda lenient?

    * Dude’s on horseback

    * Tattooed on Moynihan’s broken nose

    * The powder alarms

    * Whigs almost flipped

    * “Some of the ethnic mix that gives Boston that reputation came subsequently to 1775, okay?”

    * That amazing (and presentist!) poem

    * “How Longfellow Woke the Dead”

    * He “really hated politics, but he also hated slavery”

    * “It presented Revere’s ride as an individual effort act of individual heroism. And it really wasn’t. The remarkable thing about it was quite the opposite.”

    * Brown Beauty, “one of the great equine heroes in American history”

    * Sorry, William Dawes fanboys

    * “I don’t mean to mock anyone’s ancestry, but.…”

    * Important junk in that trunk

    * Admiral of the Ocean Sea: A Life of Christopher Columbus, by Samuel Elliot Morrison

    Follow The Fifth Column

    YouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn


    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

    How Much Benevolence Can You Take? - #540 Jan 15, 2026
    Show notes

    -Good Movies We’ve Never Seen

    -Raw Dog Minerals

    -Moynihan Responds to a Cunty Troll

    -The Reckoning We Didn’t Have

    -Renee Good, a Week Removed

    -These People Have No Constitutional Knowledge

    -The MST3K of ICE Videos

    -The Sanctuary City Devaluation

    -Iranian Violence Spectacle and thoroughly verifying the dead

    -Weaponized DOJ: Now Featuring Powell and a Reporter Raid

    -The Walter Cronkite of This Generation

    -Low-Bar Journalism

    Prefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifthdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.

    Follow The Fifth Column

    YouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn


    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

    Why Can't We Be Friends? (w/ Ana Kasparian) - Members Only #295 Jan 13, 2026
    Show notes

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

    -Who Remembers the Armenians? (The Fresno ones)

    -The One Good Decision Gavin Newsom has made

    -Who Remembers Amy Cooper? (The Central Park one)

    -When Facts Become Partisan Coded

    -Journalism vs. Activism

    -Matt Welch Is Buffy St. Marie

    -Broken LA Dreams

    -The Actual Way to Pronounce Cenk Uygur

    -ICE’s Shock and Awe Theater is no longer an act

    -The Pendulum on Immigra…


    The Memory Hole & the Rent Freeze Trap (w/ Josh Barro) - #539 Jan 08, 2026
    Show notes

    We’re joined by Josh Barro, contributing opinion writer at The New York Times and host of the Very Serious and Central Air Substack

    -Feldstein, Leibowitz, Berkowitz, and White Nationalist Moynihan

    -The Nancy Pelosi Riot, 5 years later

    -An ICE shooting in Minneapolis

    -Morally disgusting and electorally advantageous

    -Marco Rubio’s Spine Transplant

    -Memory-Holing Anarchy

    -The Warmth of Collectivism

    -Rent Control Suicide

    -Affordability In Davos

    -The NY John Lindsay Pretty Boy Republican Problem

    -Greenland Extortion

    -Maduro Snatch and Grab

    -Black Elliott Abrams

    -Are straight people okay?

    Prefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifthdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.

    Thanks for reading The Fifth Column (A Podcast)! This post is public so feel free to share it.

    Follow The Fifth Column

    YouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn


    This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

    Kevin Williamson Is The Darkness - Members Only #294 Jan 06, 2026
    Show notes

    This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

    •Belated Christmas gifts from Matt

    •Who’s got the biggest war boner?

    •Lysander Spooner, still bringing people together after all these years

    •Kevin’s had four kids in 19 months. You do the math.

    •How to tell the kids apart? Tattoo ‘em!

    •Build, Baby, Build

    •Romney the virile tribal chieftain

    •Trump’s faux presidential run

    •Venezuela and the subtle differences be…


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