Show notes
Can we really heal from the things that have shaped us? What does it mean to renew your mind after trauma? And how can we learn to live from love rather than spending our lives trying to earn it?
In this episode of the Faith-Filled Therapy Podcast, Jo Hargreaves is joined by pastor, author and former NFL player Dr Derwin L. Gray for a powerful conversation about trauma, healing, identity and the transforming love of Jesus.
Derwin shares openly about growing up surrounded by addiction, abuse and violence, his journey from professional football to faith, and the healing that followed. He and Jo explore how biblical truth can reshape our thoughts, nervous system and lived experience, helping us face pain while replacing the lies we have believed with truth.
Drawing from his new book, It’s Time To Heal: Four God-Given Steps To Restore What Life Has Shattered, Derwin introduces his HEAL framework: being honest about what happened, expecting pain along the way, accepting the past without letting it define you, and ultimately learning to live from love, not for love.
Blending Scripture, neuroscience, grace and real-life stories, this episode offers a practical, Christ-centred invitation to face what has hurt us and move towards healing.
Key Takeaways
- You cannot heal from what you will not reveal. Derwin talks about the importance of becoming honest about what has happened to us, and sometimes what we have done, rather than hiding or minimising our pain. Healing begins with bringing our real story into the light.
- Your past can shape you without defining your future. Trauma is real and its effects matter, but Derwin challenges the idea that our past gets to “take the ink pen and write our future.” What happened to us is part of our story, but it does not have to become our identity.
- Renewing your mind is a repeated practice, not a one-time moment. Jo and Derwin explore neuroplasticity, taking thoughts captive and learning to recognise the difference between thoughts that speak against us and the truth of who we are in Christ.
- Healing is not toxic positivity. Renewing the mind doesn't mean pretending painful experiences did not happen. It means facing what is true while also allowing the truth of Scripture to reshape our beliefs, thoughts and behaviours.
- We can learn to live from love rather than for love. Derwin describes the security that comes from knowing we are already loved by God, including at our worst. Instead of performing for acceptance, we can begin to live from a place of belovedness.
- Our brains can learn new patterns. Derwin shares how practices he first learned as a professional football player eventually helped him understand neuroplasticity and the process of replacing deeply rooted beliefs with biblical truth.
- Healing can change more than one generation. Derwin shares his hope that people will interrupt patterns of hurt, toxicity and trauma so that what is passed to future generations is health and blessing instead.
- Jesus is at the centre of wholeness. Jo and Derwin discuss healing as something that encompasses spirit, soul and body. Therapy, neuroscience and spiritual disciplines can all have a place, while the conversation continually points back to relationship and union with Christ.
About Dr Derwin L. Gray
Dr Derwin L. Gray is the co-founding and Lead Pastor of Transformation Church, just outside Charlotte, North Carolina. He is the recipient of the John M. Perkins Justice Award, an award given to a visionary leader whose life and work exemplify the principles of biblical justice.
Derwin is also an award-winning author whose books include How to Heal Our Racial Divide: What the Bible Says, and What the First Century Christians Knew about Racial Reconciliation, Lit Up With Love: Becoming Good-News People To A Gospel-Starved World, and his new release, It’s Time To Heal: Four God-Given Steps To Restore What Life Has Shattered.
Connect with Derwin & Resources Links
Website: DerwinLGray.com
Instagram: @derwinlgray
Facebook: @derwinlgray
Transformation Church: transformationchurch.tc
New Book: Derwin’s new book, It’s Time To Heal: Four God-Given Steps To Restore What Life Has Shattered, releases 8 September.
If you’d like to watch the video version of the podcast, you can watch it on YouTube here: YouTube Link
For free resources, reflections, and regular encouragement, come join me over on Substack. You’ll also find the option to subscribe to The Faith-Filled Collective; a monthly space for women who are pursuing wholeness and holiness.
You can also find my e-books and webinar links here
Love and hope
Jo
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