Stay ConnectedSteph Douglas – Founder and CEO of Don’t Buy Her Flowers – chats frankly with a guest about LIFE and staring down the ‘rush hour’ that many of us feel we’re living in. The day to day overwhelm, juggling careers, relationships and families, parenthood, not looking like a dog’s dinner, the expectations and the big, tough bits that come with being a grown up.
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Copyright: © Steph Douglas
Steph chats with Rob and Josie da Bank about what it’s like to run a festival with your partner, and how they make it work alongside having four children. After 32 years together, and many festivals under their belts, they talk about the difficult bits, how they divide and conquer, and how helping people escape real life, screens and make some IRL memories is what drives them.
With Camp Bestival around the corner, in Dorset and then Shropshire, Rob and Josie share what they’re excited about. Their book ‘Camp Bestival at Home’ is out now, giving readers a behind the scenes peak at Camp Bestival as well as recipes and activities to enjoy through the seasons, and thoughts on festivals from the likes of Fatboy Slim, Sara Cox and Sophie Ellis Bextor.
This episode is sponsored by Kiddiwhizz, creator of the Whizzer, a portable loo for kids and adults. Use code DBHF for a 20% discount until the end of June www.kiddiwhizz.com
Camp Bestival at Home book (and available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages)
Steph’s Instagram
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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Feel like you do everything at home, or at least more than is your fair share? This one’s for you. Steph speaks with Eve Rodsky - Harvard-grad lawyer, activist and New York Times Bestselling author of Fair Play.
Eve is working to change society one partnership at a time by coming up with a new 21st-century solution to an age-old problem: women shouldering 2/3 or more of the unpaid domestic work and childcare for their homes and families. Eve and Steph talk about the massive impact this has not only on relationships, with couples everywhere hissing and resentful while trying to navigate this, but also the workplace, the pay gap, and our mental and physical health. They also talk about what’s in it for men to get more involved, and how do you bring them to the table.
Eve’s book Fair Play
Find out more about the Fair Play system
Eve’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
This episode is sponsored by gift experience website The Indytute
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Steph talks with author, journalist and mental health campaigner Bryony Gordon about her new book Mad Woman, an account of her life and challenges over the last few years.
With a live audience at Henley Literary Festival, in classic Bryony-style, she brings lots of energy, honesty and humour to the conversation, in which they discuss depression, OCD, Bulimia and Binge Eating Disorder, addiction and alcoholism and being perimenopausal and a woman in her 40s.
Steph’s gift company Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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Steph talks with Dr Kirren Schnack, Clinical Psychologist and author of Ten Times Calmer, a book with tools to help beat anxiety.
The conversation starts by understanding what anxiety is, what happens when we’re anxious, what are the triggers and what is happening to our nervous system. They discuss the impact having children can have on anxiety, and with the festive season around the corner, they also talk about how to avoid Christmas anxiety.
Steph and Kirren then chat about some of the basics for good mental health, plus Dr Kirren talks through some of the tools to help bring some calm.
This episode is sponsored by The Indytute, handpicked experiences all tried and tested by another female founder, Calypso Rose. Use the code Steph10 for 10% off via www.indytute.com
Ten Times Calmer: Beat Anxiety and Change Your Life by Dr Kirren Schnack
Kirren’s website
Kirren’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
Don’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide
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Recorded Live at the Henley Literary Festival, Steph interviews Louise Boyce AKA Mama Still Got It, Gill Sims and Clara Batten live from a Town Hall full of women out for a Friday night! Join them as they discuss the rollercoaster of motherhood - the first year of being a mum, identity, holidays with kids, the PTA, and Louise’s gross middle-of-the-night payback on her husband. Expect some swearing, some drinking and a touch of raucous.
This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, who create pure, potent and sustainable supplements, and are offering 20% off with the code DBHF20
Gill’s Instagram, Facebook and book
Clara’s Instagram, Tik Tok and book
Steph’s Instagram
For future Henley Literary Festival events
Don’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide
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Ahead of the release of her new book, Clinical Psychologist Dr Karen Gurney returns to the DBHF podcast after her previous episode about sex in long term relationships became the most downloaded to date, resulting in at least two pregnancies (that we know of!) and Steph received hundreds of messages from women and couples that felt huge relief in what Karen said about desire in long term relationships.
Now Karen, AKA The Sex Doctor, has written a book specifically for parents - How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life - out in April 2024. Steph and Karen talk about how tiredness, distraction, lack of time and the mental load affect sex lives, and Karen describes the ‘storm’ that children often bring to a relationship. They talk about the different impacts of new babies, primary school age kids and teens. Karen and Steph also discuss spontaneous vs responsive desire and the idea that it is normal to never feel spontaneous desire in a long term relationship. Karen also explains how key it is to understand the different role sex plays for individuals, communicating better about sex, and offers advice and practical ways to maintain (or bring back) sexual connection, particularly when there is no time.
Karen’s first episode on the DBHF podcast on Apple or Spotify
Karen’s Instagram
How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life, out in April 2024 and available to pre-order now
Karen’s first book Mind the Gap
Eve Rodsky’s book FairPlay
Darcy Lockman’s book All the rage: Mothers, Fathers and the myth of equal partnership
Steph’s Instagram
Thoughtful gifts www.dontbuyherflowers.com
This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, a new generation of sustainably sourced collagen, blends and supplements with targeted health benefits. Use the code DBHF20 for 20% off any product on their website
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Steph chats with broadcast LEGENDS Fi Glover and Jane Garvey about their move after thirty years (each!) from the BBC to Times Radio, where they host a radio show and the Off Air podcast.
Fi and Jane describe how they found juggling a broadcast career with small children, with Fi owning that hers ‘ground to a halt’ for a period, but that she now has a job she loves that may not have been where she’d have ended up without the career break. They discuss phones, teenagers, teenagers with phones, the impact of Perimenopause, Tweakments and what advice they’d give to their 35 year old selves. Most of all, they offer HOPE to women in the rush hour feeling overwhelmed - there is good stuff to come in the future.
Thank you to sponsors Ancient & Brave, a new generation of sustainably sourced collagen, blends and supplements. Listeners can get 20% off orders with the code DBHF20 on their website
Times Radio (Jane & Fi are on air 3-5pm, Monday to Thursday)
Off Air Podcast with Fi and Jane
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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In this episode we're looking back at a brilliant episode with Helen from January 2022...
Steph talks with bestselling author, journalist and speaker Helen Russell about how and why so many of us try to bury sadness, and the harm that causes.
After eight years of researching happiness, Helen realised that most of us desperately want to avoid sadness, but all the experts have said we can’t, so we need to work out how to be sad, better. Helen and Steph talk about grief, infertility, perfectionism, anorexia, men and sadness, and a whole lot in between.
Helen’s website
Helen’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
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Steph chats with brilliant comedian Kelly Convey about motherhood; it’s all very fresh for Kelly as she has had two babies with a fifteen month gap, her second still only seven months old. Steph and Kelly discuss those early months of motherhood, flashing the postman, feeling annoyed with your partner and navigating advice from others. Kelly talks about baby group blunders and making mum friends (or not!).
As a stand up, they discuss the pros and cons of Kelly being back onstage supporting Alan Carr three months after having a baby, trying to find balance between work and babies, and how she feels that becoming a mum has helped her comedy and connection with the audience.
This episode is sponsored by HotTea Mama, makers of delicious, organic, award-winning, whole leaf teas specially designed to support women’s wellness. Get 20% off with the code DBHF20 at hotteamama.com
Kelly’s TikTok
Kelly’s website
Kelly’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
The Don’t Buy Her Flowers updated Create a New Mum Gift Box
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Steph talks with writer and speaker Brigid Schulte about Overwhelm, where it comes from and what we can do to rally against it. Brigid brilliantly uses research and history to understand how we got here, and reassures that when it feels hard, it’s because it is.
Brigid explains why women feel they don’t deserve free time, why we feel we have to ‘excel’ at motherhood and importantly, what all this pressure and juggling does to women’s physical and mental health, careers and relationships. They discuss how women find it difficult to live in the moment because of the volume of roles and responsibilities they’re juggling, how children coming along makes the imbalance even more difficult, and the societal expectations that impacts men and women trying to find a better balance. And Brigid offers some advice on how to turn down the volume on it all, and advises we all need to ‘let that shit go’
Brigid shares what she’s learned as a journalist at The Washington Post, author of ‘Overwhelmed’ (2014) and the Director of Better Life Lab at New America, the work-family justice and gender equity program at New America, a nonpartisan think tank.
Thank you to Naturalmat for sponsoring this episode, handmakers of organic beds and mattresses, and DBHF podcast listeners can get 15% off with the code DBHF15
Brigid’s book ‘Overwhelmed – How to work, love and play when noone has the time’.
Brigid’s Twitter
Better Life Lab at New America
Brigid’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
Thoughtful Gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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Jo Tutchener Sharp, Founder and CEO, tells Steph about how life-changing brain surgery led to her hugely successful purpose-led fashion brand Scamp & Dude. From childrenswear to now 95% womenswear, a shop in Marlow and two more opening this Summer 2023, Jo’s PR background and desire to ‘do better’ have combined to create powerful partnerships, charity work and donations, alongside much-loved clothing.
Jo talks about setting up and then leaving her previous PR business, in a not ideal situation after her second child was born and then being told that she would need brain surgery. Jo tells Steph how that has fundamentally changed her and impacted her as owner at Scamp & Dude. They talk about the thrill of spotting Scamp & Dude in the wild, managing a team, working with her husband Rob, and how Jo copes (or sometimes doesn’t) with running a business and having a family.
This episode is sponsored by HR consultancy HR Star, who want to reinvent the poor reputation of HR. Visit http://www.hr-star.co.uk/ for more information and quote DBHF for 10% off their People Strategy Session.
Jo’s Instagram
Scamp & Dude’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
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Psychotherapist Siobhán Murray talks with Steph about Burnout. Originally coined in the 1970s to describe an occupational phenomenon, recent decades have seen an increase in people experiencing burnout as we’re ‘nearly always switched on’. Siobhán and Steph talk about why this is, what makes women in the Rush Hour susceptible to burnout, and the signs and symptoms to identify it.
Siobhan goes into ideas on how to manage burnout, and gives some detail on the tools that will help, which are explained in her book The Burnout Solution, a step-by-step 12 week plan.
This episode is sponsored by HR consultancy HR Star, who want to reinvent the poor reputation of HR. Visit http://www.hr-star.co.uk/ for more information and quote DBHF for 10% off their People Strategy Session.
The Burnout Solution by Siobhán Murray
Siobhan’s website
Siobhan’s Instagram
Steph’s Grazia article on The Rush Hour
Steph’s Instagram https://www.instagram.com/steph_dontbuyherflowers/?hl=en
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Sarah Rossi and Steph talk about how Sarah’s online profile, where she’s known as ‘Taming Twins’, has rocketed in the last 12 months. She talks with Steph about her career so far, from starting a bakery that she loved, and recognising that she couldn’t scale the business because it relied on her being physically there too much. Sarah’s blog Taming Twins started out as a creative outlet to share about her life with twins, until she noticed that recipes she shared were getting more traction.
Sarah talks about blogging for ten years, growing a steady following and then pausing after a book deal came along, when she asked herself and her followers ‘what do people actually want?’. Simply, the feedback told her what they wanted was help with dinner. What ingredients did they need? What could they cook that everyone would eat? And make it quick! Off the back of that renewed focus on her customer, Sarah’s following on insta alone is over 350k, she has written Sunday Times bestseller ‘What’s for Dinner?’, quick and easy fuss-free family meals, and has a second book out in September 2023.
Sarah talks about her income, becoming very strategic with her use of SEO and display ads and not relying on sponsorship and avoiding having to flog something to her followers that they don’t want, now that she is clear on her mission that she wants to be useful to families and take the stress out of the question ‘What’s For Dinner?’.
Sarah’s book What’s for Dinner?
Preorder Book Two What’s for Dinner in One Pot?
Sarah’s website Taming Twins for fuss-free recipes and meal plans
Steph’s Instagram
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Steph chats with businesswoman Alex Depledge for a Business Special episode of the podcast.
Alex is undoubtedly a brilliant entrepreneur, having co-founded, grown and sold first business Hassle.com for €32m, before starting another tech platform – Resi.co.uk – the UK's largest and only nationwide residential architectural platform. Alex’s ‘thing’ is disrupting with a tech solution, and cutting deals, both of which she’s very good at. She appears to have no fear, has been involved with a number of bodies, boards and think tanks, and is passionately championing women in a male-dominated industry.
Alex is incredibly straight-talking but doesn’t shy away from being vulnerable, about the challenges of being the boss, including the stress and emotion of leading a business through Covid, trying to balance work and family. Alex also says that she’s grateful for the burnout she went through at 27, because it taught her a lot early on that most people experience a bit later while also trying to manage a family and having greater responsibility to juggle.
This episode is sponsored by HR consultancy HR Star, who want to reinvent the poor reputation of HR. Visit http://www.hr-star.co.uk/ for more information and quote DBHF for 10% off their People Strategy Session.
Alex talks about starting and selling Hassle.com on the Secret Leaders podcast
Alex on Jimmy’s Jobs of the Future podcast
Alex’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
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Steph speaks with Illiyin Morrison and Sophie McCartney (AKA Tired and Tested) about those early days and months of motherhood, as part of the Lost For Words series. Rather than gloss over it, Sophie and Illy both have careers that centre on being reassuringly honest about motherhood, and in turn offering support to women who may be finding it tougher than expected. Illy trained as a midwife and now helps women debrief after birth, and Sophie is a comedian and bestselling author with a huge Instagram account sharing the trials (and hilarity) of motherhood.
Illy and Sophie talk about the early days, their feelings of failure and guilt about not doing it ‘right’, whether that’s the birth, breastfeeding, or just being a mum. They talk about obsessing about sleep and feeding, sweaty weigh ins, baby groups and having babies at the same time as Kate Middleton. They also discuss comparison and expectation, and the impact babies can have on a relationship. This conversation will make new mums feel better, or if someone further down the line thinks they did a terrible job, it will let them know that none of us knew what we were doing.
Thank you to Naturalmat for sponsoring this series, handmakers of organic beds and mattresses, and DBHF podcast listeners can get 15% off with the code DBHF15
If you’re struggling with parenthood, try contacting Home-Start UK
Illy’s Instagram
Sophie’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
The NEW Create a New Mum Gift Box at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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Each month, the DBHF podcast will speak with founders for a business episode, to find out how they’re doing it.
The strapline for Alison Burton and Natalie Duvall’s business March Muses is ‘Celebrating Diversity by Diversifying Celebrations’. It begun from a search for Christmas decorations that represented the black community, and opened up a world of possibilities with the realisation that so many celebrations are lacking that representation.
Steph talks with Alison and Natalie about how they started, their successful Dragon’s Den pitch that resulted in investment from Deborah Meaden and Peter Jones, and the impact 2020 had on their business with the murder of George Floyd, the BLM movement and the pandemic. They also explain how it feels when the swell of support subsides but the racism and need for support hasn’t gone away. As single mums who work full time as well as managing March Muses, Alison and Natalie talk about how they cope with the juggle and their hopes for the future of the business.
This episode is sponsored by HR consultancy HR Star, who want to reinvent the poor reputation of HR. Visit http://www.hr-star.co.uk/ for more information and quote DBHF for 10% off their People Strategy Session.
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Continuing the Lost For Words series, Steph speaks with Leanne Pero and Emma Campbell about Cancer. Both women have been diagnosed with breast cancer – Leanne is in remission and Emma continues with regular treatment after her third diagnosis in 2019. Both women are incredibly honest about their experience, struggles and the mental health impact. Sometimes the voices of cancer are either gloomy or exceptionally brave, but it is clear from this conversation that it is so much more nuanced. Leanne and Emma explain the imprint of fear that a cancer diagnosis leaves and the impact that will forever have on their lives but they also talk about hope and gratitude. The discussion includes social media, where there is an incredible cancer community that can be a huge support but how it can sometimes be a trigger that keeps someone in the ‘cancer world’, so they talk about boundaries. They also share their thoughts on how someone going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment can start to get their head around it, and the different things that might help them.
Leanne talks about the stigma around cancer in the black community, that lead her to found Black Women Rising. Listen to Leanne on the Black Women Rising podcast with Leanne
Emma’s advice on what to say to someone who has been diagnosed with Cancer
Leanne on Emma’s podcast Open
Emma’s Book All That Followed
Leanne’s Instagram
Emma’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
The Stand Up To Cancer Care Package
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For the second episode of this Lost For Words series, Steph spoke with podcast hosts The Other Mothers AKA Caro Tasker, Elle Wright and Jen Reid, three women on a mission to talk about Baby Loss, pushing through the discomfort people feel, to better support those going through it.
Through their tragic experiences of baby loss, which include stillbirth, neonatal death and SIDS (formerly known as cot death), Caro, Elle and Jen explain to Steph how those early weeks felt. The ladies talk honestly about the impact on their identity, friendships and their relationship, and feelings of guilt. They also provide some really helpful advice on how to help someone going through baby loss and what to say, as well as what not to say or do.
All three women are involved in charity work, to do what they can to stop others having to go through the pain they have felt. Jen set up charity Teddy’s Wish with her husband Chris to fund potentially life-saving research into SIDS (formerly known as cot death), Neonatal death and Stillbirth and to provide bereavement support for grieving families. Teddy’s Wish and Don’t Buy Her Flowers created two Baby Loss Care Packages together. If you are going through any loss to stillbirth (from 24 weeks), neonatal death or SIDS in the past 6 months, they would love to send a package paid for by Teddy’s Wish and DBHF gives a donation for each package too. Email jennifer@teddyswish.org or if you want to send a Baby Loss Care Package to someone, visit here.
Thank you to Naturalmat for sponsoring this series, handmakers of organic beds and mattresses, and DBHF podcast listeners can get 15% off with the code DBHF15
The Other Mothers podcast
Elle’s first book Ask Me His Name and her second book of fertility and hope Bump in the Road
Caro’s Instagram
Elle’s Instagram
Jen’s Teddy Wish Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
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This series of the Don’t Buy Her Flowers podcast is about those events that can leave people Lost For Words, kicking off with Cariad Lloyd talking about grief and death. Cariad is a comedian, actress and writer and the woman behind the award-winning and brilliant podcast Griefcast, where she speaks with guests about their own experience of grief. And rather than being depressing, it’s about life and relationships and love and even more, about opening up the conversation to try to remove shame and loneliness that people shouldn’t feel given death is the one thing that is guaranteed in life.
Steph and Cariad talk about Cariad’s experience of her Dad dying when she was fifteen, and how it has impacted her life. Cariad offers up some brilliant advice on how to support someone grieving – what to do or say as well as what not to say. Steph and Cariad talk about the impact on identity when a loved one dies, the different ways people grieve and how we might better prepare for it, awarding a gold star to Steph’s Mum who has been filling out a book titled ‘I’m Dead, what next?’.
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Cariad is also about to publish her book You Are Not Alone, out 19th January when it will also be available in DBHF gift boxes.
Thank you to Naturalmat for sponsoring this series. Naturalmat handmake organic beds and mattresses, and podcast listeners can get 15% off online or in their showrooms with the code DBHF15
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Zoe Blaskey from The Motherkind Podcast joins with Steph and the Don’t Buy Her Flowers podcast for this end of year special! Steph and Zoe have each chosen three guests they spoke with on their own podcasts in 2022 to discuss and see what each other took from the guests.
The conversation centres around motherhood, identity, relationships and sex. Zoe has chosen Psychologists Dr Rick Hanson and Dr Becky Kennedy, both experts in motherhood, family and relationships, who speak brilliantly about our standards and expectations, where they might have come from and how we can lower them. Steph chose Dr Karen Gurney AKA The Sex Doctor and Laura Danger, who is a facilitator of the Fair Play method and wants to help couples understand and better divide the mental load. And then both Steph and Zoe interviewed Matt Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends. Some really beefy topics and thought provoking conversations.
And thank you for listening in 2022! Please rate, review and subscribe and we’ll be back with more in 2023.
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Steph chats with Laura Belbin AKA Knee Deep in Life and Victoria Emes, two brilliant comedians who separately have taken social media by storm, leading to hundreds of thousands of followers, books, a stage show and then together, they have created the Podcast ‘No Holes Barred’, where listeners write in with their frankly disgusting stories. Obviously Steph asks them about the grossest ones.
Laura and Victoria chat openly about how they fell in to these careers, their plans for Christmas, the challenges of motherhood and how to talk to new mums without terrifying them. They also discuss how they handle social media and then reflect on 2022 – an emotional rollercoaster of heroes, villains, crushes and triumphs. They talk about their love of each other, and it is delightful to hear two people that have clearly built a really genuine relationship based on respect and support as well as smut and hearty guffawing at how crackers life can be.
This episode is sponsored by Resi Design, an architectural platform whose aim is to demystify what is a complex process and help people to create their dream home faster, on budget, with less drama and in a climate-friendly way. Check them out at resi.co.uk
If you’re looking for thoughtful gifts, have a look at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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After studying Design at London College of Fashion, Beth Huett opened her clothes shop Dolly Rock in St Margarets in 2011. Beth talks with Steph about getting started and the challenges of being an independent retailer, Brexit, and the Pandemic. Beth closed her shop after almost ten years at the end of 2020, and tells Steph about how she made the decision to avoid administration and take control as much as she could.
Beth talks about the sadness she felt, like a heartbreak, but also two years on she can recognise the relief she felt and talks about staying optimistic.
We have got a brilliant giveaway with Spabreaks to win a £250 voucher and a DBHF Recovery Hamper of gorgeous products to relax with. Sign up to the DBHF newsletter HERE by 11.59pm on Friday 11th Nov. If you’re already signed up to our newsletter, no need to do anything and you will be automatically entered.
This episode is sponsored by Naturalmat, an organic bed and mattress company who use exclusively natural, organic and sustainable material and make mattresses and bedding for grown ups and babies and kids All handmade in Devon. Use the code DBHF15 for 15% off your first order, valid until 31st Jan. visit naturalmat.co.uk
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Yvonne Telford is the founder of clothing brand Kemi Telford, which she started in 2017 with £60 and some tote bags. Yvonne tells Steph about her founder story and how the business evolved into what it is now – a highly regarded fashion brand with partnerships with John Lewis and Tate, celebrity fans and featured in Vogue.
Yvonne talks with Steph about the boom Kemi Telford experienced during the Pandemic, and the importance of remembering her ‘Why?’ as retail slows down. They discuss how it’s easy to lose focus with the distraction of other people’s ideas and other businesses. Yvonne explains her decision around focusing on selling direct, stripping back to her core values and how she stays close to her customers.
We have got a brilliant giveaway with Spabreaks to win a £250 voucher and a DBHF Recovery Hamper of gorgeous products to relax with. Sign up to the DBHF newsletter HERE by 11.59pm on Friday 11th Nov. If you’re already signed up to our newsletter, no need to do anything and you will be automatically entered.
This episode is sponsored by Naturalmat, an organic bed and mattress company who use exclusively natural, organic and sustainable material and make mattresses and bedding for grown ups and babies and kids All handmade in Devon. Use the code DBHF15 for 15% off your first order, valid until 31st Jan. visit naturalmat.co.uk
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Steph spoke with James O’Hara about his life in hospitality as a serial business owner - the challenges, the peaks, managing a team and the lessons James has learned along the way. James also talks about how young people don’t drink like we did in the 90s/00s, Covid’s legacy and how belligerence has helped him as a founder.
James’ career in hospitality started with a club night in Sheffield; James has a talent for spotting what customers are after next, and now owns multiple bars and venues and is part of the team that recently rescued Kelham Island Brewery after it went in to liquidation. He co-founded Tramlines Festival, which he sold in 2020, and is currently working towards the opening of Leah’s Yard in Sheffield.
We have got a brilliant giveaway with Spabreaks.com to win a £250 voucher and a DBHF Recovery Hamper of gorgeous products to relax with. Sign up to the DBHF newsletter HERE by 11.59pm on Friday 11th Nov. If you’re already signed up to our newsletter, no need to do anything and you will be automatically entered.
This episode is sponsored by Naturalmat, an organic bed and mattress company who use exclusively natural, organic and sustainable material and make mattresses and bedding for grown ups and babies and kids All handmade in Devon. Use the code DBHF15 for 15% off your first order, valid until 31st Jan. visit naturalmat.co.uk
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Emma Cantrell is the CEO of Children’s Charity First Days. Emma explains why she started the charity in 2013 when her two children were very small, initially to redistribute kids’ clothes and toys from people who didn’t need them anymore to those that did.
Since then, Emma and her team have added more services including advising families on where they can get additional help, peer support and one to one coaching. Emma talks about how she has had to find balance, how to cope with doing a job where the stakes are so high and what the current cost of living crisis means for her and the team. In recent years demand has doubled, making Emma’s job more difficult, but even more important.
This episode is sponsored by Naturalmat, an organic bed and mattress company who use exclusively natural, organic and sustainable material and make mattresses and bedding for grown ups and babies and kids All handmade in Devon. Use the code DBHF15 for 15% off your first order, valid until 31st Jan. visit naturalmat.co.uk
How to get involved with First Days:
We have got a brilliant giveaway with Spabreaks to win a £250 voucher and a DBHF Recovery Hamper of gorgeous products to relax with. Sign up to the DBHF newsletter HERE by 11.59pm on Friday 11th Nov. If you’re already signed up to our newsletter, no need to do anything and you will be automatically entered.
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Abi Selby founded Spabreaks.com in 2008, a spa booking service working with more than 700 spa destinations in the UK and a team of 65. Abi’s aim was to make spas accessible to every body as well as spotting the business opportunity of matching customers with vacancies in spas that needed filling.
Abi talks with Steph about realising the opportunity in the spa industry, starting a business shortly after having a baby and trying to find a way of work that works for her family and her business. She describes the impact of Covid, what she loves most about running a business and the biggest challenge.
We have got a brilliant giveaway with Abi and Spabreaks to win a £250 voucher and a DBHF Recovery Hamper of gorgeous products to relax with. Sign up to the DBHF newsletter HERE by 11.59pm on Friday 11th Nov. If you’re already signed up to our newsletter, no need to do anything and you will be automatically entered.
This episode is sponsored by Naturalmat, an organic bed and mattress company who use exclusively natural, organic and sustainable material and make mattresses and bedding for grown ups and babies and kids All handmade in Devon. Use the code DBHF15 for 15% off your first order, valid until 31st Jan. Visit naturalmat.co.uk
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Steph speaks with Psychotherapist Zara Arshad about what is really going on for couples after a baby arrives – the common feelings of anger, disappointment, resentment, loneliness, and feeling underappreciated. From her own experience, Steph found it tough and was also surprised to feel this way as no one had really mentioned it prior to having a baby.
Zara specialises in couples and new parents improving communication, and helping people in relationships during what is a tricky time. They discuss the most common issues that couples go to Zara with, a predominant one being anger. Zara explains the core reasons behind that anger and ways couples can voice how they’re feeling in a more productive way (ie not ‘You are useless and I hate you! Apparently that doesn’t work). Zara provides advice on ways couples can prepare before the baby arrives, managing expectations of each other, and how to communicate better.
Look out for updates on Zara’s soon to be available book ‘Stronger together: A couple’s guide to navigating your relationship after baby’
For more chat about relationships on the Don’t Buy Her Flowers Podcast, listen to Steph’s conversations with Matt Fray, Karen Gurney, Laura Danger and Aileen Barratt.
Contact us at podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com with any thoughts or feedback.
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers (including gifts for new parents!)
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Laura Danger AKA That Darn Chat has amassed a massive 350k+ followers on TikTok and an Instagram account growing by thousands every week, creating videos about the mental load, with the strap line ‘Domestic labour is labour’. The reaction she gets shows that Laura’s is a voice people are wanting to hear from, and as one of Steph’s favourite topics, they get into it!
They discuss the wider impact on society of inequality at home, how writing lists isn’t the solution, and ask why women are ok in their own discomfort for everyone else’s comfort.
Steph asks Laura, if we’re asking men to do more, what’s in it for them? Steph and Laura also raise the massive question – if you do raise the mental load as an issue with your partner and they don’t respond in any way except negatively, where does that leave you?
Laura is a facilitator of the Fair Play Method; founded by Eve Rodsky, Fair Play is ‘a time and anxiety saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up their domestic responsibilities’. Steph and Laura discuss how this is a huge change from what society has expected from women, but one that when ignored, is often leaving women resentful and ultimately jeopardising relationships. Laura’s aim it to equip women with the language and understanding to have difficult conversations.
This episode is sponsored by boutique mortgage and insurance broker Hudson Rose. Quote ‘Don’t Buy Flowers’ if you go to Hudson Rose for advice, and they will donate £50 to your local food bank.
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Aileen Barratt is the woman behind the hugely popular Instagram account Tinder Translators, where she translates the awful bios in dating apps to explain what they really mean. ‘Looking for fun’ means ‘looking for sex’, ‘girls that look after themselves’ means only thin women should apply, and we learn how to spot if a man is, in fact, married.
After sharing funny (dreadful) dating bios and stories, Steph and Aileen get into what these profiles say about how some men treat women, but also ask why women don’t expect more for themselves. They discuss the impact of growing up in the 90s, when they may have thought they had Girl Power, but realise now that they really just wanted the approval of men.
They also talk about what happens when women start to realise they are full human beings, with all the emotions, that they deserve to take up space and how that might impact their relationships.
Thank you to our sponsors Hudson Rose, the boutique mortgage and insurance brokerage who are doing things a bit differently and putting bespoke customer service at the heart of all that they do.
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Anna Mathur is a Psychotherapist, mum of three and best-selling author of three books all aimed at helping women manage anxiety, self-esteem and calm after having children.
With 180k followers on Instagram, Anna’s drive to take therapy out of the therapy room and support more women comes from a trickier experience with her second child, when she couldn’t keep up the façade anymore. She talks about feeling guilt and shame, and invalidating those feelings because she felt she should be good at being a mum.
Steph and Anna talk about the biggest challenges for new mums, how these feelings can impact your relationship and what happens if you don’t recognise and allow the feelings (hint: it’s not good!). Anna gives advice on managing guilt, talking with your partner and why mothers need to show their children and everyone around them that they matter too.
This episode is sponsored by The Happy Newspaper, a platform to share positive news and wonderful people and celebrate all that is good in the world. As well as planting a tree for every newspaper sent to a subscriber, under the initiative ‘The Happy News for Schools’ the team send a newspaper to a UK school for every two subscribers. AND they have kindly given a discount on products and subscription for DBHF podcast listeners, details in this episode. The Happy Newspaper is also a very popular option in Don’t Buy Her Flowers gift boxes!
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Natalie Lee AKA Style Me Sunday talks with Steph about her mission to ‘free’ people from shame when it comes to our bodies, sex and fitting in, and answers some questions from listeners agony-aunt style.
Natalie has undergone a lot of change in the last five years, on her view of her body and sexuality as well as ending her marriage. Steph and Natalie talk about summer bodies, growing up in the 80s and being taught that sex for women is a performance. She also encourages us to stop feeling guilty if we don’t love our bodies yet, pointing out that everything in society has told us that our value comes from how we look so it’ll take some work to get there.
Listener questions include how to stop hating your body and avoid passing teach our kids to too, talking to children about masturbation, and how to approach using a vibrator with a partner who isn’t keen. Nat’s straight talking is eye opening and a breath of fresh air!
This episode is sponsored by The Natural Deodorant Co - a 100% natural, zero plastic deodorant that offers 24 hours of protection from a single application. They have kindly given us a discount for DBHF podcast listeners, details in this episode. It’s also an excellent product available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages.
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Steph chats with Sunday Times Bestselling author Sarah Turner AKA The Unmumsy Mum. From launching a blog in 2013 after having her first baby and feeling she’d been missold motherhood, Sarah’s authentic voice has amassed a huge following; currently over 400k on Instagram and over 700K on Facebook.
Steph and Sarah met on the ‘blogging scene’ back in 2014, and they recall what it was like back then in the world of mummy bloggers, when influencers were but a twinkle. They also talk about end of term madness, strategies for surviving summer holidays, vasectomies, stopping breastfeeding and having rubbish tits, among other things. Including the infamous Mumsnet Penis Beaker thread.
Huge thanks to Spabreaks.com for sponsoring this episode. For deals including 63% off, 2 for 1 spa days and free treatments visit here and listeners can get a further 10% off with the code SPA10
If you’re looking for thoughtful gifts, please have a look at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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Matt Coyne, AKA Man Vs Baby, has made a career writing and talking about being a dad (after a stint as ‘the worst graphic designer in Yorkshire’ among other things), amassing a huge following across social media.
As a Stay at Home Dad, Matt shares his insight in to men being praised for showing up, with expectations on women so much tougher, and the narrative of dads as either wet or buffoons. Steph and Matt talk about Kate’s handling of Prince Louis at the Jubilee, what happens when your toddler wants to touch a goat’s testicles, and how the role of fatherhood is changing.
Steph also quizzes Matt on why men do strange things at the least appropriate time, sharing some brilliant stories of blokes jetwashing bins and changing electricity supplier when their partner was in labour.
This episode is sponsored by Kokoso Baby, creators of award-winning baby skincare products including an Organic Coconut Oil which we love and is available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages and is suitable for even the most sensitive skin.
For awesome Father’s Day gifts, have a look at the Don’t Buy Her Flowers Gift Guide
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As part of the Don’t Buy Her Flowers fatherhood series, Steph speaks with food critic and journalist Jimi Famurewa about the role of men in parenting, how fatherhood has changed and the influence of his matriarchal upbringing.
Jimi talks about the nostalgia of learning Nigerian cooking with his mum over Zoom during lockdown, the bizarre feeling of his career really taking off just as restaurants were closing during the Pandemic, and his role on The Great Cookbook Challenge with Jamie Oliver. Steph also probes him on whether he really eats all the courses when judging Masterchef.
Preorder Jimi’s Book Settlers: Journeys Through the Food, Faith and Culture of Black African London
Jimi’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
For Father’s Day gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers, visit the gift guide
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Steph speaks with gay dad, husband and business owner Jonathan Kirkby about surrogacy and fatherhood in the lead up to Father’s Day.
Jonathan explains the complicated process of surrogacy, discrimination he’s experienced, and what he would like to see change in people's understanding of surrogacy. They also discuss the impact of becoming a dad on Jonathan’s relationship and lifestyle.
Steph and Jonathan talk about the 50/50 split of parenting with his partner, dad guilt and how the visibility of gay dads is changing. Jonathan finishes with an epic tale of a vomit and diarrhea filled nightmare flight - a right of passage for all parents right?
Jonathan’s Communication Agency Instinct PR
Jonathan’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
For excellent Father’s Day gifts, visit Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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Steph talks with Matthew Fray, a relationship coach and author of ‘This is How your Marriage Ends: A hopeful approach to saving relationships ’. After his own experience of divorce, and after some soul searching, Matt had a kind of reckoning where he realised that how he had behaved in the marriage – mostly the every day little things that cause the same rows – had over time eroded trust, which led his wife to leave. Matt has used this to look at how men behave in relationships, primarily in romantic relationships with women.
Steph and Matt discuss Matt’s ‘Invalidation Triple Threat’ Theory, as well as how male identity and masculinity impacts how men behave in relationships - often unintentionally - and how consideration is something that women do so much more than men but is essential to a healthy relationship.
Steph’s Instagram
Thoughtful GIfts from Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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Dr Karen Gurney AKA The Sex Doctor is on a mission to help us understand how desire works, particularly in women, because it is NOT the spontaneous desire that we see in the movies. In fact, she says ‘It is normal to never feel like sex, out of the blue, ever, in a long term relationship’.
As well as female desire, Steph and Karen discuss how sex changes from those exciting early flushes at the start of a relationship, the impact of having children and the mental load, talking to kids about sex, and how we can future-proof our sex life, including through increasing ‘Sexual Currency’.
Dr Karen also answers listener questions, about sex after having a baby, infidelity, not feeling attracted to your partner and never feeling like sex, even though it’s always good ‘once we’re doing it’.
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During Maternal Mental Health Week, Steph talks with Clinical Psychologist Dr Caroline Boyd about how challenging that first year can be, including feelings of isolation and rage, and feeling disconnected from a partner. They also talk about the Supermum Myth, parenting perfectly and how an expectation of motherhood coming ‘naturally’ impacts hard when it doesn’t.
Caroline explains why new mums might feel all these emotions, and shares evidence-based psychological ideas to help new mums cope.
For anyone experiencing feelings of overwhelm and rage a lot, Caroline recommends speaking to a supportive friend and a trusted health professional, such as a GP
Caroline’s book Mindful New Mum, a mind-body approach to the first year of motherhood and is also available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages
Caroline’s Instagram
Steph’s article ‘When New Mums Get Angry’
Steph’s Instagram
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As an End of Life Doula and a Funeral Director, Anna Lyons and Louise Winter have more experience of death and dying than most. They talk with Steph about why it is their mission to get people talking more about the inevitable, and share what they’ve learned through their work about life and living.
Steph talks with Anna and Louise about why their message is important and reframing death, how we prepare for parents dying, talking to children and showing up for someone who has been bereaved.
Anna and Louise’s book ‘We All Know How This Ends’, is also available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages from 26th May.
Life. Death. Whatever. and their Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
Thoughtful gifts Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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The Don’t Buy Her Flowers Podcast returns for season three with Kate Lawler - DJ, broadcaster, Big Brother 2002 winner and hugely honest author in her recently published book Maybe Baby.
Steph spoke to Kate during what was a crazy week of book promo as well as her partner Boj getting Covid, which meant that as well as being crazy busy, their usual support network couldn’t help. Kate ended up in hospital and they talk about finding the juggle impossible, which has lead to Kate quitting her Virgin Radio job to try and find a better balance and spend more time with her daughter. She describes seeing happiness just in front of her, if she could just stay on top of work, her relationship, being a parent, seeing friends, getting to the gym… and all the things we classically know to contribute to the madness of the Rush Hour we talk about on this podcast.
As well as The Juggle, Steph and Kate discuss the Postnatal Depression Kate describes in her book, getting help after having a baby and the impact on her relationship as well as why they’re not fans of holidays with kids and friends.
Kate’s Instagram
Maybe Baby: On the Mother Side by Kate Lawler
Kate and Boj’s Maybe Baby podcast
Steph’s Instagram
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Contact us podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com
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Em Smyth went into the Pandemic with no children and is living and breathing the Rush Hour, as less than two years later she has two kids under two and a half. Em is keen to address the misinformation that seems to be rife around adoption, talking Steph through the adoption process (top tip: don’t joke about worrying your kid will become a serial killer when you’re being vetted to become adoptive parents).
Steph and Em discuss mother’s guilt, which Em says can feel even more intense when you’ve adopted as the parent can feel they need to do even more to make life ‘good’ for their child. Em talks with Steph about wishing people didn’t do a head tilt and say ‘aren’t you doing a wonderful thing, you must be a really special person’. She says it’s not a romantic concept or a moral manoeuvre - she is their parent, this was her route to becoming a mum (and sometimes they’re hard work, like all children).
Steph and Em also talk about feeling isolated and incapable in those early months, heightened by doing it in a pandemic, how different holidays feel, and feeling like she lost her sense of style when she became a mum. As a plus-size model, Em has gone on a journey with her body, and also talks with Steph about aiming for body neutrality.
Em’s Instagram
For more information on adoption, go to Adoption UK or contact your local authority
Steph’s Instagram
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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As well as just bagging a National Comedy Award for Best Comedy Podcast and completing a record-breaking arena tour, Rosie Ramsey is about to host a TV show on BBC One with husband Chris, and talks with Steph about her background as an entertainer via Pontins in Somerset, holiday repping in Faliraki and as a radio presenter.
Rosie describes the phase they’re in as ‘The Drowning Stage’, explaining how she feels the overwhelm and mum guilt doing all of the above while juggling two young boys. Rosie has brilliantly funny bones, which you can hear from the way Steph sniggers throughout, as they discuss marriage, sex, smut, men’s obsession with spunk, and Rosie’s Beefs with Chris.
Shagged. Married. Annoyed. Podcast with Chris and Rosie Ramsey
Rosie’s Instagram
When I Became a Mum by Rosie Ramsey, written for Don’t Buy Her Flowers
Steph’s Instagram
For thoughtful gifts, including for Mother’s Day, take a look at Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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Steph talks with the artist formally known as Annie Mac about Motherhood, her career and the huge change she made leaving BBC Radio 1 in 2021 after 17 years. As an internationally renowned broadcaster, DJ and events curator, Annie has added Author to her CV with the publication of her debut novel Mother, Mother.
Steph and Annie discuss social media and Annie’s decision to manage her time online after finding it made her feel isolated and like she wasn’t enough – at work, at home, with her kids and in relation to how much she ‘did’. Annie talks about swapping BBC Radio 1 for writing, more time at home and a career she is currently falling in love with.
Annie shares that turning forty was a point where she paused to think about what she actually wanted, something they discuss very few of us do, and that what we want can – and probably should – change with time.
Her debut novel and Sunday Times Bestseller Mother, Mother is out now in paperback and available in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages
Steph’s Instagram
For thoughtful Mother’s Day gifts, see the Don’t Buy Her Flowers Mother’s Day Gift Guide
£1 from every Mother’s Day order will go to Home-Start UK, a charity helping families with young children through challenging times.
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TW: includes discussion about baby loss, death and grief.
Sarah Gwonyoma, founder of @WhatSarahReadNext talks honestly about what happens when life throws a lot of grief your way, coping when life is turned upside down, and making big career moves when she stopped to work out what she really wanted.
As part of our Motherhood series, Sarah talks with Steph about how it feels to become fixated with having a baby, and going through multiple losses and IVF while everyone around you seems to be getting pregnant. Sarah has been through so much, in addition to baby loss, with the death of her brother and her husband; as she says ‘She’s taken a load for the team’. After the death of husband Tim and at the start of the pandemic, Sarah – who lives with her son in Fiji – took stock of her 20 year career in International Development and decided on a career change, turning her passion for books in to her job.
Sarah’s Instagram, where you’ll find book recommendations, reviews and author chat, as well as a world of colour Sarah G style
Julia Samuel ‘Griefworks: stories of life, death and surviving’
Brendan Cox ‘Jo Cox: More in Common’
Don’t Buy Her Flowers is donating £1 from every Mother’s Day order to Home-Start UK, a nationwide charity who help families with young children through their challenging times. See Don’t Buy Her Flowers
Steph’s Instagram
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Steph chats with Comedian, Actor, Presenter AND Author (phew) Ellie Taylor about her career. She’s come a long way since playing Nancy in Oliver aged 17 and they discuss the terror/joy of Stand Up Comedy and some of Ellie’s recent projects including what it’s like to be in the multi-award winning show Ted Lasso (Emmys! SAG Awards! Golden Globes!) as the brilliant Sassy.
Ellie says new mums are her catnip and in her book ‘My Child and Other Mistakes’ describes how pregnancy and motherhood really felt, with a perfect blend of gentle empathy and honesty, gross-out reality and hilarious anecdotes (she is a comedian after all). She reassures ‘It’s okay to like your child but fucking hate the parenting bit sometimes and to find the newborn days awful…you can hold these two thoughts in your head’ before reassuring new mums that it gets easier. Steph and Ellie finish by discussing therapy and learning to be gentler with yourself, in a very grown up manner.
Ellie’s Instagram
Ellie’s book My Child and Other Mistakes is out in paperback from 10th March and will also available as an option in Don’t Buy Her Flowers packages
The Mash Report’s ‘A message from women everywhere’
Steph’s Instagram
Get in touch podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com
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With four sons ranging from early school age to teens, disability activist Nina Tame talks with Steph about family dynamics, introducing a Step-Dad and how her mothering has changed since having her first aged 25.
Nina was born with Spina Bifida; she educates her followers and advocates for people with disabilities on her Instagram as well as displaying fabulous hair, outfits and interiors. Steph and Nina discuss ableism, access and Nina’s ‘journey’ (sorry) to reclaiming her body, which she admits has taken time, and throughout the conversation doesn’t shy away from explaining how her own views have changed on lots of things.
Nina wrote for Don’t Buy Her Flowers about her ‘one wish as a mum’ a couple of years ago https://www.dontbuyherflowers.com/motherhood/nina-tame-onemumswish/
Steph Instagram
Email Steph with your rush hour thoughts - podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com
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Oof, Dr Kiran Rahim - a paediatrician and mum of three - is here with some cracking truths. Steph asks Kiran about her experience of the fourth trimester, and how it differed after her third baby compared to her first and second, when she finally listened to her mum and focused on looking after herself, letting others look after her and staying in her bubble. Steph had a very similar experience after her third child.
Kiran talks about her experience of Burnout, which she describes as the worst thing she’s gone through in her life, and left her with a loss of identity and hope. They discuss the dangers of labelling women ‘Superwomen’ when they appear to juggle everything well, as they can then struggle to admit or recognise when they’re not ok, and the increased expectations that can come from South Asian culture.
Kiran and Steph also discuss the idea that ‘Motherhood isn’t enough’ and Kiran’s statement ‘the biggest trial our marriage has ever faced is having children’, how counselling has helped, and the power of vulnerability.
If you need someone to talk to, contact Mind
Kiran’s Instagram The Munching Medic and her post from 10th Oct 2021 about mental health where she discusses the idea of ‘Superwoman’ seeping in and defining her.
Kiran on the She Speaks, We Hear podcast
Steph wrote about Pulling Up The Drawbridge after her third child
Steph’s Instagram
Email Steph podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com
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It may be Valentine’s Day, but Natasha Lunn, journalist and author of Conversations on Love, is talking about ALL the different kinds of love.
Steph and Natasha talk about romantic relationships and how we might maintain a them once the initial lust has gone and also after having kids (when you might sometimes not be your kindest self…!). They also talk about friendships and how those change over time from our schools days or twenties but can be essential to our wellbeing, especially in the Rush Hour when you might feel a bit lost.
Natasha’s personal quest to better understand love involved her speaking to many experts and she shares a vow to pay attention to all the different interactions we have that might count as love.
Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn
Sign up to Natasha’s CoL newsletter Conversations on Love | Natasha Lunn
Natasha’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
Add Natasha’s book to a Don’t Buy Her Flowers package Create a Gift Package - Don't Buy Her Flowers
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After going through her own divorce, comedian, actress and author Samantha Baines started The Divorce Social podcast talking to a different guest each week about their break up experience.
Sam and Steph talk about losing yourself in a relationship, and the ‘phases’ after a marriage ends. Sam gives some excellent advice on how to support a friend (and what not to say) and some thoughts on not seeing the relationship as all just a horrible mistake. Also, everyone should apparently spend a week with Channing Tatum to get through a divorce. Righto, we’re in.
This episode is sponsored by Lovehoney, the Sexual Happiness Company, the UK’s most popular online shop for buying adult toys and lingerie discreetly and whose Bullet vibrator is now featuring in the Don’t Buy Her Flowers Break Up Package
Steph’s Instagram
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TW: cancer, death. Steph talks with Stacey Heale four months after her husband Greg died of Bowel Cancer, having been diagnosed five years ago aged 39. Greg was the lead singer of indie band Delays, as well as a phenomenal artist and poet.
Stacey, a writer, mother of two, and academic in her ‘previous’ life, shares how seeing your partner diagnosed feels and what people can do to help, what becoming a carer was like and how she has coped (or not at times) with his death and the subsequent grief. As big fans of Glennon Doyle, they discuss Overwhelm and not being able to do it all. Steph and Stacey also discuss the difference between expectation and reality of death and grieving and not having time to discuss all the things you think you’ll want to speak about knowing a life is coming to an end. Ultimately, Stacey says she wants to honour Greg by trying to live in a big way, because Life. Is. Short.
Stacey’s Instagram
Stacey’s TEDx Talk The Transformative Power of Social Media
Glennon Doyle on women showing their families that they are a full person
Meeting Rocket Man, written by Greg Gilbert
The package selection Stacey put together for Don’t Buy Her Flowers
Steph’s Instagram
Email us podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com
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Steph talks with bestselling author, journalist and speaker Helen Russell about how and why so many of us try to bury sadness, and the harm that causes.
After eight years of researching happiness, Helen realised that most of us desperately want to avoid sadness, but all the experts have said we can’t, so we need to work out how to be sad, better. Helen and Steph talk about grief, infertility, perfectionism, anorexia, men and sadness, and a whole lot in between.
The DBHF How to Be Sad Package, with products selected by Helen
Helen’s website https://www.helenrussell.co.uk/
Helen’s Instagram
Steph’s Instagram
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With a critically acclaimed career in music that has been going for more than ten years, a chart-topping podcast, three kids aged five and under and a batch-cooking obsession, Jessie Ware is definitely in the Rush Hour, juggling it all and sometimes questioning whether she’s doing it right.
As a self-confessed oversharer, in this episode Jessie talks openly with Steph about pregnancy and babies, how relationships can struggle when children come along and how starting the Table Manners podcast in 2017 gave her a creative outlet when she felt a bit lost as a mum in the music industry. Steph and Jessie also swap gross (but perfectly natural!) tales of bodily fluids and birth when talking about Jessie’s pregnancy podcast, Is It Normal?
For information about Jessie’s latest music and tour dates https://www.jessieware.com/
Jessie performing Wildest Moments at Glastonbury in 2015
Browse thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers (as recommended by Jessie Flippin’ Ware!)
Steph’s Instagram
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It may well be the New Year, but not everyone is feeling pumped for it. Psychologist Dr Emma Svanberg chats with Steph about New Year resolutions and why they might feel particularly challenging this year after almost two years since the pandemic began. Emma and Steph talk about why some of the last two years is a blur (in particular the homeschooling/working from home juggle – what WAS that?! Dr Emma explains what was happening in our brains), the impact it’s had and why we might be exhausted, anxious, a bit lost and, for some, having feelings of shame because we’re struggling and we know we’ve not had it as bad as many. Emma has a great way of helping us reframe some of those feelings, explaining what’s going on in our brains, as well as giving specific tips on ways to try and process and recover.
Emma has launched A Year of Reflection & Recovery – a year focused on understanding, healing and processing the last two years. As she says ‘We live in a culture so set on quick fixes, but we are dealing with a global crisis. A six week online course is not going to cut it’. Find out more on her Instagram @Mumologist
Steph runs thoughtful gift company Don’t Buy Her Flowers
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Well-being coach Tamu Thomas talks with Steph about toxic productivity and our inability to stop, the enormous energy we put in to keeping going to make us feel safe (including some classic Tamu quotes through the lyrics of Chumbawamba and Bananarama).
Tamu recommends a 17 second practice to help slow your body and mind and ‘take in the good’. They also discuss every day joy, abandoning ourselves to care for others, the mental load and how to better communicate with a partner when you’re feeling overwhelmed and resentful.
We’d love for you to subscribe and leave any feedback, and you can send voice notes and suggestions of anything you’d like discussed on the podcast. Email podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com
Tamu’s Instagram
Tamu’s website and coaching programme
Steph’s Instagram
Christmas shop with us with the Don’t Buy Her Flowers Gift Guide
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Ellie Gibson and Helen Thorn, AKA comedy duo The Scummy Mummies talk with Steph during their Christmas tour. They discuss the love story of the Scummy Mummies, and the evolution as their babies have grown up, Fishfingergate of 2017 and competitive mumming. In 2021 Helen got divorced, giving them a whole heap of new material as she familiarised herself with Tinder, and Helen talks honestly about becoming a single parent and the new traditions of her first Christmas just her and the kids.
They also discuss bad Christmas gifts, throwing up at the in laws and THAT elf on the shelf.
Get in touch with any thoughts, voice notes, dilemmas at podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com
Get tickets to the Scummy Mummies Show
Scummy Mummies Instagram
Scummy Mummies shop
Get Divorced Be Happy by Helen Thorn
Steph’s Instagram
Get some help with your Christmas shopping with the Don’t Buy Her Flowers Gift Guide
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Ahead of the MADNESS of Christmas and as we feel our stress levels start to rise, Steph chats with Psychotherapist and author Emma Reed Turrell about People Pleasing. Emma explains the four different types of People Pleaser, and they discuss how it can impact friendships, relationships and parenting. Steph also learns it’s not just about being ‘nice’, it’s actually about wanting to control people’s reactions and usually has some deep rooted beginnings from our childhoods. Crikey.
Emma gives some advice on how to enjoy Christmas and not spend it only pleasing others while feeling a *little* resentful, they discuss the joy of Die Hard and circling the Radio Times, and hear from some listeners who want some help with their people-pleasing ways and navigating family drama ahead of the festive period.
Emma’s book ‘Please Yourself: How to Stop People-Pleasing and Transform the Way You Live’ is available in DBHF packages from 9th November.
Emma’s Instagram @emmareedturrell
If you want to get in touch with Steph:
podcast@dontbuyherflowers.com
Instagram: steph_dontbuyherflowers
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Steph Douglas founded thoughtful gift company Don’t Buy Her Flowers in 2014. Prior to running the business, Steph worked in Brand and Marketing and then started a blog, writing honestly about motherhood, relationships and trying to be a grown up while never feeling quite like she knew what she was doing. Posts included ‘When New Mums Get Angry’, ‘With this ring, I give you my dregs’’, and the postnatal ‘Pulling up the Drawbridge’ post that went viral with over 110k views to date. The Don’t Buy Her Flowers podcast is an evolution of the blog, and enables Steph to find out how other people are coping. Or not.
Seven years on DBHF now has 20+ employees, are in their second warehouse (a far cry from Steph packing on her bedroom floor for the first couple of years) and saw huge growth during the pandemic as people looked for thoughtful gifts, allowing them invest in growth but also importantly increase donations to long-term charity partners including Cancer Research UK and introduce new ones too.
Steph has three children under twelve, is married to Doug and loves naps, gin and watching anything she’s seen a hundred times so it doesn’t require her brain.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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