The Crate and Crowbar

Latest Episodes:

Episode 335: Coddled By A Lemon Aug 07, 2020

Show notes

Tom F, Alex and Marsh gather to discuss Obsidian’s backyard survival game Grounded, go postal, in a very tranquil way, in Thousand Threads, sink into a fug of nostalgia for Halo 3, toot flutes and avoid parps in Ghosts of Tsushima and briefly descend into Hades.

Dana Schwartz’s tweet about Reddit user NoNoNo_OhOhOh’s post about John Boyne’s novel’s deseparate SEO Zelda calamity.
Enjoy, or decry, miniature multiplayer makework in survival game Grounded.
“Just get yourself a small metal spoon, sit back and relax” in pretty open world postal game Thousand Threads.
Love the bonky stick but fear the UI funnel of The Master Chief Collection.
Avoid the full parps of Ghost of Tsushima.
Smoke a whole pack of easy in Hades.
Control has good tutorials apparently.
Nice Man James Benson’s real-goodly animated tutorial for a game that doesn’t exist.
Hideo Kojima’s formative bee experience.

You can hang out with us and our community on our Discord channel. If you have a question for a future episode, send it to us at questions@crateandcrowbar.com or tweet us @crateandcrowbar. You can also listen to it on YouTube, and subscribe to our YouTube channel, if you like.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 334: The Milkshakes Of Biscuit Planet Jul 31, 2020

Show notes

Tom S, Graham and Marsh congeal into a mass of gnashing mouths to chew over indie creature feature Carrion, disrespect the lore in Star Wars: Battlefront II and smash many glass men in the expandalone Superhot: Mind Control Delete.

We talk about the Xbox Showcase. You can watch the full stream here, and, because I am very lazy, here is Rock Paper Shotgun’s nicely curated list of all the games revealed therein, some of which we talk about.
The recording mangled the bit where I say the nickname of Halo Infinite’s art director: it’s Sparth. He’s terribly good.
Here’s Jason Schreier’s scoop on the nixed King Arthur game that was helmed by Mike Laidlaw.
Become the meatball marinara in metroidvania creature feature Carrion.
Take out your millennial insecticidal angst in the fan service nonsense kaleidoscope which is Star Wars: Battlefront II.
Duke around the dogman in Superhot: Mind Control Delete.
“I crank to the max.”
Alex’s article on Brutal Doom’s copious splatter.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 333: Stoic Gruffman Jul 24, 2020

Show notes

Alex, Tom S and Graham minotalk and cyclopine about the forthcoming Total War Saga: Troy, delight in the hikes and hot bilge of Death Stranding and feel all kinds of 7/10 about Ghosts of Tsushima.

Here’s that story on testing seeds for impossibility in Slay The Spire.
Mentioned as Alex’s spire-alike of choice: Monster Train
Sing, O Goddess, of the mild pique at Total War Saga: Troy‘s compromise between history and myth.
Stuff piss bombs into the whale to make the ghosts go away in Hideo Kojima’s sympathetic fart machine, Death Stranding by Hideo Kojima.
Ghost of Tsushima. Collect another 49 podcasts to unlock a sense of apathy at hoary open world mechanics.
Rob Sherman’s great article about inventory: I Am Overencumbered.
Exposure is the video series about the aborted development of F-Stop.
The video Alex and Graham recall which utilises polaroid photographs to alter geometry is this one!
Portal 1 and 2 are a hard act to follow.
But follow the FPS-puzzlers did, with much physicsy wibbliness. Some of those mentioned: Antichamber, Superliminal, Manifold Garden, The Talos Principle, The Witness.
Tacoma is not really a puzzle game, but a very good firstperson story game.
Alan Hazelden‘s puzzlers are also mentioned.
Just add a little pet fox! It worked for The Shard.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 332: Nutted To Death By Guy Fieri’s Helicopter Jul 17, 2020

Show notes

Chris, Tom S and Marsh pore over the Final Hours of Half-Life: Alyx, soar over the Hyper Scape, chew over Rocket Arena, simply cannot get over Call of Duty: Warzone, and gush over, er, chess. “Not a new game but a good one.” You heard it here first.

Geoff Keighley’s illuminating and partially accurate docu-app: Half Life: Alyx – Final Hours.
Behold! The Ubisoft Forward stream. But I actually got more from Matt Castle’s video on Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla and this clip of dialogue from Watch Dogs: Legion.
Here’s Ubi’s statement about their ongoing response to allegations of sexual abuse.
Become a ball in Hyper Scape‘s very slightly innovative One of Those.
Become a manta ray in the bloodless chaos of Rocket Arena.
Assorted chess links: defeat Steven in HELL with the power of Chess Ultra;
free, open-source chess server, Lichess; the more obvious Chess.com; checkmate the ork in Warhammer 40,000: Regicide; enjoy the gruesome death animations of Battle Chess.
The preferred Titting About game of the moment: Call of Duty: Warzone.
A video demonstrating some top-tier titting, from Chris and niceman podfriend Paul Scott Canavan: The Big Honking Death… starring Truck Straddler and Paul Muad’Gib.
Nobody knows what a bandicoot is.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 331: How Do You Like Them Aethels? Jul 10, 2020

Show notes

Alex, Rich McC and Marsh attempt to master the remastered Red Alert, get decked online in WWII-themed collectable card game KARDS and prepare to try self-professed Dark Souls homage Mortal Shell.

Valorant. Skins. Expensive. Boring. Do better, News.
The Ubisoft longboat is very leaky: the latest vid of Assassin’s Creed Valhalla.
You can play Command & Conquer: Red Alert as part of the Command & Conquer Remastered Collection.
WW2 card game: KARDS. Why is it capitalised? Does it stand for something? Kick A Rommel Down Stairs?
Mortal Shell
Excellent but sadly dead Polish artist Zdzisław Beksiński.
Lovingly absorb the materiality of Deep Rock Galactic‘s loot bugs. And then kill them.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Animal Crossing: Technically We Could Leave But We’re Still Locked In At The Crate and Crowbar Jul 08, 2020

Show notes

Pip and Chris return for another deep dive (!) into the state of Animal Crossing: New Horizons. We delve into the diving discourse, discuss the various quandaries of lategame life, and assemble our wishlists for the future of the game.

You can find this bonus episode on YouTube, and our intro music is, as ever, Clambake by The Mandibles.

For what it’s worth, that’s a raspberry being blown at the beginning of this recording. A raspberry.

Episode 330: The Ghost Town of Sad Dogs Jul 03, 2020

Show notes

Graham, Tom F and Chris aim their laser-like takes to dismantle the zen pleasures of Hardspace: Shipbreaker, the tawdry traumas of The Last of Us Part II, the chaotic bird-butt coop of KeyWe and the narrative clunk of Cloudpunk.

Do a physics on men, shelves and concrete, in this throwback shooter: Trepang2.
Do a physics on spaceships and sometimes, accidentally, yourself, in fab extraterrestrial scrapyard game Hardspace: Shipbreaker.
Do a psychology on dogs in finger-wagging misery-box
The Last of Us Part II.
Chaotic co-operative post-office management game: KeyWe.
A Monster’s Expedition is a lovely puzzle game what our Pip done wrote for.
Dystopian delivery driver game with disappointing dialogue: Cloudpunk
Other games of the delivery driver genre:
Eurotruck Simulator 2, Bus Simulator 18 and Elite Dangerous.
And the burgeoning delivery-driver-with-narrative genre: Jalopy, Wheels of Aurelia and the really excellent Driver: San Francisco.
A successful vertigo inducer: Against the Wall.
Nu-Swede-o prog: Anekdoten and Gösta Berlings Saga.
Recommended reading: Magic for Beginners and Wild Wood.
Pulping vivisectionists is videogame jazz in Ape Out.
Tom F didn’t fall in love with The Witcher 3.
Graham seeks not the time-sink treadmill of Factorio.
Was XCOM: Chimera Squad actually enjoyable?
The original Mafia definitely wasn’t. And yet, beloved.
A special kind of swearing is also reserved for the original Mirror’s Edge.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 329: Lumbago Number 5 Jun 26, 2020

Show notes

Alex, Tom S and Marsh swelter and sweat through a discussion of ecstatic automation in Satisfactory, the didactic bleakness of The Last of Us Part II, the long view of Humankind and dire straits in Desperados III.

Cherish your mucky factory in Satisfactory.
The Last of Us Part II sounds unplayably horrible to me, but I am tempted by its exquisite ropes.
The Sumerians have already won this timeline. Sorry. Play Humankind and see if you can do better – when it’s out, next year.
Despair and delight in Desperados III – still a fantastic stealth RTS.
The 494th greatest song of all time, Desperado. I think Alex did it better, tbh.
Explore the fecundity of my joy in Wide Ocean Big Jacket.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 328: There’s No Cream For What I Got Jun 19, 2020

Show notes

Chris, Alex and Marsh ponder penguin chicanery, Destiny’s destiny, dialogue-by-card-deck in Signs of the Sojourner, conversation-as-combat in Griftlands, redeem Mass Effect: Andromeda, resist scratching tingles and rejoice at Desperados III.

What is shape? Shape is crime.
What is going on with Aiball / Penguin Cretins? Gamesindustry.biz have talked about it here.
A Monster’s Expedition – the game our Pip worked on – has a demo out! Lovely!
Be a bally and do a rolly in Stanley Kubrick’s Tiny Wings aka EXO ONE. Also demo-able.
Destiny 2: put this mess in a box! Then serve up more.
You might call Bungie’s plan for Destiny 2… vaulting ambition! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha!
Ha!
Imagine being inside the McCartney Destiny Song. Emotional.
As mentioned last week: Wide Ocean Big Jacket is super, super lovely. It’s also available from Steam.
Another shout-out for John Walker’s indie curation site Buried Treasure.
Weirdo puzzler, Ethereal is on itch.io and Steam.
Conversational card game, Signs of the Sojourner! Itch. Steam.
Nice game journo man, Chris Schilling.
Conversation-as-combat in Griftlands!
Enjoy the beeping and the wooshing of Mass Effect: Andromeda.
Spread it on toast. Add a chunk of stilton. Perfect. It’s Desperados III.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

Episode 327: In Defence Of The Village People Jun 12, 2020

Show notes

Alex, Tom F and Graham muse on the eternal E3 news, marvel at itchio’s BLM bundle, lament pyromantic stealth game Wildfire, adore deck-builder Monster Train and flail further in Half-Life: Alyx.

IGN’s eternal E3.
The Escapist’s indie stream.
Sony’s PS5 stream. I found it unconscionably boring, to my surprise and dismay.
Undaunted: The Heretic One is, you know, the Heretic one.
And Trepang2 is the FEAR one.
The incredible Black Lives Matter bundle.
John Walker has been doing a good job of picking out gems from the bundle.
Wide Ocean Big Jacket, aka My Big Wide Open Morning Jacket. It’s in the bundle.
One of the previous games from the same dev, Little Party.
Be a cutesy teen bird in A Short Hike, and enjoy it, just to spite Alex. It’s in the bundle.
Not mentioned on the pod, but puzzle game Ethereal is really interesting. It’s in the bundle.
If Found is not in the bundle, but it’s nice.
Quadrilateral Cowboy. It’s in the bundle.
Pen and paper RPGs are to be found in the bundle too: e.g. the EXCELLENT Band of Blades (and the fantastically loopy Troika).
Kids, Minit, Celeste are also games that are in the bundle. But why not look for yourself? In the bundle.
Wildfire a sneaky, flamey game that is, alas, a bit of a damp squib.
Comparable 2D stealth game, Tony of the Ninja.
Tom’s fab post about Metal Gear Solid 5’s failure spectrum.
Have you played Tom’s games, Gunpoint and Heat Signature?
Choo choo, motherfuckers.
Is Monster Train too much fun?
Your strict and loving parent, Slay the Spire.
The Peggle of Slay-the-Spire-likes, Overdungeon.
Flamboyant exercise in cultural obscurantism: Half-Life: Alyx.
Here it is rendered as a video performance by a Youtube Person.

The Crate and Crowbar is kindly funded by our Patreon backers. If you’d like to know more about supporting our podcast and its spinoffs, click here.

Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.

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