The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Covert Narcissism: Did I Make Him a Narcissist by Reading Too Much? Aug 02, 2026

Show notes

Have you ever discovered narcissism in your relationship, started reading everything you could find, and then panicked — wondering if you were the one who created the pattern you were seeing? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson opens up about a fear she's never shared before: the worry that dwelling on covert narcissism had somehow manifested it in her marriage. She walks through the exact passages from Eleanor Payson's The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists that jumped off the page at her early in her journey, and why recognition is not the same thing as manifestation. This episode covers covert narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, the difference between normal self-centeredness and a true narcissistic pattern, and the safeguard Renee uses to answer one simple question: does this person ever return to baseline? If you've ever doubted your own perception of narcissistic abuse in your own marriage or family, this conversation will help you trust what you already know.

If you've been listening, learning, and starting to see the patterns — but still feel stuck in the same cycles — that's not because you're missing information. It's because this isn't something you're meant to untangle alone. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, I invite you to join me in my coaching program at www.covertnarcissism.com. And if this episode resonated with you, please subscribe so you never miss one.

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care; please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general — Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years, and her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or claim that any specific person is a narcissist; that would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided.

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Narcissistic Abuse & Predatory Behavior: You've Been Made to Think It's Your Fault Jul 30, 2026

Show notes

Narcissistic abuse and predatory behavior often hide in plain sight — and this episode pulls back the curtain on exactly how. In this special crossover conversation, I'm sharing an episode from Dr. Kerry McAvoy's podcast, Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse, featuring her conversation with Don Hennessy.

Don Hennessy is an Irish psychotherapist who has spent decades working directly with abusive men and their partners, giving him a rare, firsthand understanding of how predatory control actually operates. In this episode, Don and Kerry expose the hidden playbook these men use to infiltrate a partner's mind — often so gradually that she doesn't realize it's happening until she's already trapped in it. You'll learn what these predators are truly after, why the tactics are so effective, and why survivors so often walk away wondering how they missed the signs.

If you've ever felt gaslighted, found yourself walking on eggshells, or struggled to explain a trauma bonding dynamic you couldn't quite name, this conversation will help you understand the mechanics behind it — and why it was never your fault.

Go find Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse wherever you listen to podcasts, and follow Kerry for more.

If you're recognizing these patterns in your own life and are ready to move from understanding into healing, I invite you to join me in my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com. And if you found this episode valuable, please subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.

The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Narcissistic Entitlement Explained: The Role They Expected You to Play Jul 26, 2026

Show notes

Narcissistic entitlement rarely looks like arrogance from the outside. Often it looks like two people with "different expectations" — normal disagreements, normal marriage friction. In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson breaks down why that framing is misleading: in a relationship with a covert narcissist, one partner's expectations are about the relationship, and the other partner's expectations are simply about being served by it.

Renee shares her own story of slowly recognizing this pattern — long after she was living inside it — and unpacks the difference between expectations that include both people and expectations that only ever point one direction. She walks through what this looked like in her marriage and her parenting, how narcissistic entitlement disguises itself as normal disagreement, and how DARVO, gaslighting, and walking on eggshells show up in ordinary daily moments rather than dramatic confrontations. She also addresses directly that this dynamic isn't limited to narcissistic husbands — the same entitlement shows up in narcissistic wives, too.

If you've ever felt like you were the only one in your relationship doing the self-reflecting, the growing, the adjusting — while the other person's behavior somehow never became the subject of the conversation — this episode will help you name what narcissistic abuse recovery actually requires you to see first.

If you're ready to move from understanding these patterns to actually healing from them, I invite you to join my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com. And if this episode resonated, please subscribe so you don't miss future conversations like this one.

This information is provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching for educational purposes only, and is not to be used for diagnosis or as a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Your Children Start to See Covert Narcissism, Part 2 Jul 23, 2026

Show notes

Part two of this CNG Community Chat picks up where we left off, as four moms go deeper into what it's like to parent through covert narcissistic abuse. They talk honestly about whether they see these patterns showing up again in their kids' own relationships and friendships, and close with the one piece of advice each of them wishes she'd been given back when she was standing right where you might be standing now.

If this resonates, my coaching program can help you work through it one-on-one — learn more here: www.covertnarcissism.com

Want conversations like this one delivered straight to you? Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode.

And if you'd like to be part of a future CNG Community Chat, you can sign up here: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/community-chats

The Covert Narcissism Podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared by the host and guests reflects personal experiences and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or believe you may be in an abusive situation, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or contact the appropriate crisis resources in your area.

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Covert Narcissism in Disney: Beast vs. Tangled Jul 19, 2026

Show notes

Covert narcissism doesn't always look like rage — sometimes it looks like a warm smile and a locked tower door. In this episode, we break down two Disney stories that map almost perfectly onto real narcissistic abuse patterns: Beauty and the Beast, and Tangled.

The Beast shows the overt side — imprisonment, an explosive temper, a rescue that resets everything, and the exact mechanics of trauma bonding when the source of fear and the source of safety are the same person. Mother Gothel shows the covert side — guilt instead of rage, conditional warmth instead of yelling, isolation dressed up as protection. No raised voice, no locked door by force, and yet a young woman spends her life believing a cage was love.

Together, these stories map the full spectrum of narcissistic abuse, and why covert patterns are often the hardest to name — there's no single dramatic moment to point to and say, "there, that's when it went wrong." If you've ever loved someone who scared you sometimes and soothed you other times, or felt loved and small around the same person at once, this episode will help you name what you lived through — and start your narcissistic abuse recovery with clarity instead of self-blame.

If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, check out my coaching services at www.covertnarcissism.com. I am here and ready to help.

And don't forget to subscribe for more empowering episodes like this one.

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When Your Children Start to See Covert Narcissism, Part 1 Jul 16, 2026

Show notes

In this two-part CNG Community Chat, four moms sit down to talk about one of the hardest parts of covert narcissistic abuse recovery: watching your children start to see it for themselves. In part one, they share the specific moments — some sudden, some slow-dawning — when their kids realized what was really happening at home, and what daily life looks like now as their relationships with the other parent shift. If you've ever wondered how much your kids really see, or carried guilt about what they've lived through, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

If this resonates, my coaching program can help you work through it one-on-one — learn more here: www.covertnarcissism.com

Want conversations like this one delivered straight to you? Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode.

If you'd like to be part of a future CNG Community Chat, you can sign up here: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/community-chats

The stories shared in this episode reflect the personal experiences and perspectives of community members and are shared for the purpose of support, connection, and healing — not as therapy, diagnosis, or legal advice. Every family situation is different, and if you're navigating covert narcissistic abuse, custody concerns, or your children's wellbeing, please consult a licensed therapist or attorney who can speak to your specific circumstances.

This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Covert Narcissism & Kids: Helping Them Trust Their Nervous System Jul 12, 2026

Show notes

When one parent shows up as the "nice, generous" one — buying gifts instead of ever offering real repair, gaslighting instead of listening — kids learn to distrust the very signals that are supposed to keep them safe. In this episode, Renee walks through practical, age-specific tools to help kids and teens of a covert narcissist reconnect with their own nervous system: how to recognize an emotional signal before it becomes a full-blown meltdown, how to separate a parent's gaslighting from their own gut-check, and how to teach a child that their feelings don't need anyone's permission to be real. Whether you're newly separated, co-parenting with a covert narcissist, or supporting kids through narcissistic abuse recovery, this episode gives you language and tools you can use today.

If you're ready for more support on your own healing journey, I invite you to check out my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com.

If this episode spoke to you, please subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Covert Narcissism Recovery: Going No Contact and Finding Yourself Again Jul 09, 2026

Show notes

In part two of this community chat, the conversation goes even deeper. We pick back up right where we left off — with Denise sharing what it actually took to go no contact after twenty-seven years of covert narcissistic abuse, including the post-separation hoovering, manipulation, and false self-awareness that so often follows a breakup or divorce with a covert narcissist. She also opens up about hitting a devastating low point before finally realizing that no contact was the only way forward — a moment that changes everything for her.

We talk about triangulation, and how a narcissistic parent can quietly turn children against the healthier parent — often without either parent realizing what's happening until years later, and what it's like to uncover that damage after the fact. We talk about grief, and how leaving a narcissistic relationship means grieving not just the relationship, but the person you thought you were with, and the future you thought you'd have. We talk about trauma bonding, gaslighting, and why it can take so long to see clearly, even after you've physically left — especially when years of walking on eggshells have taught you to doubt your own perception.

This episode also gets into the real, physical cost of narcissistic abuse — chronic health conditions, PTSD, emotional dysregulation, and the mental exhaustion that comes from years of narcissistic abuse recovery work. And we talk about what it actually looks like to start finding yourself again after covert narcissism: rebuilding your identity, reclaiming your self-advocacy, discovering strengths you didn't know you had, and learning to trust your own instincts after a covert narcissist spent years teaching you not to.

This isn't a tidy, wrapped-up healing story — it's honest, and it's real. If you're navigating your own narcissistic abuse recovery, whether you've just gone no contact or you're years down the road, this conversation is for you.

To work with Renee, visit her website at www.covertnarcissism.com

Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Covert Narcissist's Mask: What's Really Underneath Jul 05, 2026

Show notes

If you've ever felt like something was missing in a relationship with a covert narcissist — a flatness, a lack of depth, a sense that you're never quite reaching the real person — this episode is for you.

In this episode, Renee breaks down the mask covert narcissists wear using a new framework: not a costume hiding a "true self," but a crown covering an exposed nerve that never developed protection. This reframe explains why the mask never fully comes off, and why even gentle honesty can trigger a reaction that feels wildly out of proportion.

You'll learn why DARVO, stonewalling, disproportionate rage, and hollow apologies aren't calculated manipulation so much as reflexive alarm responses. You'll also understand why walking on eggshells around someone never actually works — because real intimacy means eventually touching the nerve, no matter how careful you are.

This episode reframes narcissistic abuse recovery around a compassionate but clear-eyed truth: the emptiness you sensed was real, and it was never your failure to look hard enough.

If this episode resonates and you're ready for support in moving forward, I invite you to learn more about my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com. You don't have to untangle this alone.

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Covert Narcissism Recovery: Do I Stay or Do I Go? A Community Chat Jul 02, 2026

Show notes

Some of the hardest questions in a narcissistic relationship don't have easy answers — and "do I stay, or do I go" is one of them. In this episode, I'm joined by three women from our CNG community for a raw, honest community chat about life inside a covert narcissistic relationship, and the impossible in-between of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what to do about it.

These ladies each share their own version of the fog — the gradual awakening to covert narcissism, the years spent believing this was just normal marital struggle, and the moment they finally had language for what they were living. We talk about what it's like to be married to someone who is charming and beloved by everyone else, while walking on eggshells at home — a form of gaslighting that leaves you questioning your own reality. We talk about the isolation of COVID and how it forced so many people to finally recognize the narcissistic abuse they were living with day in and day out. We talk about the fear of opening up to someone for the first time, and what it costs to carry something invisible, completely alone.

We also get into the real reasons so many of us stay in these relationships — financial fear, trauma bonding, health struggles, kids, guilt, the belief that if we just tried harder or understood more, things would change. And we start to unpack how deeply narcissistic abuse impacts the body, not just the mind — the emotional dysregulation, the mental exhaustion, the physical toll of walking on eggshells for years.

Whether you're still in the fog yourself, actively trying to make sense of your relationship, or years removed and just now connecting the dots, this conversation on narcissistic abuse recovery will meet you where you are. This is part one of a two-part conversation — part two goes even deeper into what it took for these women to finally leave, and what healing actually looked like on the other side.

For more help specific to your journey, visit www.covertnarcissism.com

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