The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Latest Episodes:

If I Weren’t Talking About Covert Narcissism… I’d Be Starting Fires in the Woods May 15, 2025

Show notes

In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we take a much-needed breath of fresh air—literally and emotionally.

If I weren’t talking about covert narcissism every week, I’d be out in the woods learning survival skills: building fires, navigating with moss, and figuring out which berries won’t kill me. Why? Because sometimes, healing from covert narcissistic abuse means taking a step back to reconnect with who you are outside the trauma.

This episode is your invitation to pause the obsessive thoughts about the covert narcissist, stop decoding emotional abuse for just a moment, and remember what it feels like to simply be you.

We’ll explore:

Why it’s essential to take breaks during narcissistic abuse recovery
How constantly thinking about narcissism can keep you stuck
What stepping back does for your nervous system, your identity, and your healing
A fun peek into what I’d be doing if I weren’t talking about emotional abuse every week

Whether you’re deep in recovery or just beginning to recognize the signs of covert narcissism, this episode is a gentle reminder: you’re allowed to breathe, laugh, explore, and live.

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When Guilt Is a Lie: How Covert Control Feels Like Your Fault May 11, 2025

Show notes

What if the guilt you’ve been carrying… isn’t guilt at all? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we peel back the layers of false guilt—those heavy, painful feelings that whisper “you’re the problem” anytime someone else is upset. Renee walks through a real-life example of emotional coercion in a relationship with a covert narcissist, showing how guilt is often a disguise for fear, shame, and manipulated responsibility.
You'll learn how to recognize the difference between true guilt and emotional control, how to reframe the heartbreak we mistakenly label as wrongdoing, and why survivors of covert abuse so often confuse love with self-erasure.
If you’ve ever canceled your joy, dimmed your light, or questioned your own goodness just to avoid someone’s disapproval—this episode is for you.

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Sexual Coercion and Assault Within Marriage May 08, 2025

Show notes

What if you said yes — but didn’t feel free to say no?

In this powerful and necessary episode, we’re confronting the hidden reality of sexual coercion and assault within marriage, especially when the partner is a covert narcissist. From guilt-laced manipulation to emotional punishment and silent withdrawal, we explore how control can show up quietly — and why consent isn’t real if it’s not freely given.

You’ll hear real-life examples, common tactics used to override your “no,” and clear steps to help you name the abuse and reclaim your voice. Whether sex was forced, guilted, or withheld to hurt you — your experience matters. Your “no” still matters.

If you’ve ever asked, “Was that really assault?” — this episode is for you.

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More Truths from My Therapist That Rewired My Trauma Brain, Part Two May 04, 2025

Show notes

Welcome to Part Two of Things My Therapist Said That Deserve to Be on T-Shirts. We’re continuing the conversation with five more transformative truths that cut through confusion, emotional manipulation, and internalized blame—especially for anyone navigating covert narcissistic abuse.

These one-liners don’t just help you name what’s been happening—they help you stop second-guessing yourself and start reclaiming your peace. Whether you're living with a covert narcissist, healing after a painful breakup, or just trying to trust your gut again, this episode is packed with insight, validation, and practical trauma recovery tools.

In this episode, we’ll unpack:

“If they only treat you well when you’re useful, it’s not kindness. It’s convenience.” — identifying narcissistic behavior masked as affection
“Of course you're exhausted. You're carrying emotional loads that aren’t yours.” — the invisible weight of narcissistic abuse
“Peace isn’t boring. You’re just addicted to chaos.” — learning to tolerate emotional safety again
“Gaslighting isn’t an argument. It’s a control tactic.” — naming the real dynamic of covert narcissistic manipulation
“Your gut knew before your brain was ready.” — reconnecting with your intuition after emotional abuse

Each segment is a reminder that you’re not overreacting—you’re responding to a situation that was never safe to begin with. Your gut instinct was right. Your feelings are valid. And your healing doesn’t need their permission.

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10 Things My Therapist Said That Deserve to Be on T-Shirts, Part One May 01, 2025

Show notes

Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs in healing from covert narcissistic abuse come from just one sentence—something so simple, so true, it rewires your entire nervous system. In this part one episode, I’m sharing five powerful one-liners my therapist said that helped me finally recognize the emotional abuse I had been living through—and start the real work of healing.

We talk about what it means to stop apologizing for your emotions, how guilt isn't a moral compass, and why setting boundaries with a covert narcissist often feels like you're doing something wrong (spoiler: you’re not). If you’ve been walking on eggshells, second-guessing your every move, or struggling to trust yourself, this episode will speak directly to your experience.

Inside Part One, we’ll explore:

“You’re not crazy. You’re just traumatized.” — how gaslighting in relationships makes you doubt your reality
“It’s not your job to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” — the trap of self-abandonment in toxic relationships
“Feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.” — how manipulated guilt keeps you stuck
“You can love someone and still walk away.” — choosing emotional freedom over fantasy
“The apology you're waiting for probably isn’t coming. Heal anyway.” — reclaiming closure on your own terms

These are more than just quotes. They’re turning points. Because sometimes, all it takes is one honest phrase to start unraveling years of confusion and pain. Subscribe so you don't miss part two!

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Brain vs. Gut: The Ultimate Showdown Inside Covert Narcissistic Abuse Apr 27, 2025

Show notes

Covert narcissism sends you spinning into cognitive dissonance circles! But your brain and your gut were never supposed to be enemies. They're both trying to protect you—just in different ways. Healing begins when they stop arguing and start working together, guiding you out of the confusion and back into clarity.

Key Takeaways:

Covert abuse hijacks your logic and intuition.
Your gut has always known the truth—you just needed your brain to stop making excuses.
Healing starts when you trust yourself enough to stop gaslighting your own feelings.

If you've ever felt torn between what your brain tells you and what your gut knows deep down, this episode is for you.

💬 Your story matters, and you deserve to be heard without judgment.
If you’re ready to take the next step toward healing, check out my coaching services at [your website]. And don’t forget to subscribe for more episodes where we mix truth, healing, and just a little bit of sarcasm—because sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine.

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Breaking Free from Guilt in Narcissistic Relationships with Jerry Wise, Part Two Apr 24, 2025

Show notes

In this part two conversation, Renee Swanson and Jerry Wise delve into the complexities of covert narcissism, exploring the impact of guilt in relationships with narcissistic individuals. They discuss the importance of self-focus and reframing one's internal environment to foster healing and personal growth. The dialogue emphasizes that it is never too late to reclaim oneself and that closure comes from within, not from external validation.

Takeaways

Guilt often stems from family dynamics, especially with narcissistic parents.
It's crucial to distinguish between true guilt and family guilt.
Reclaiming oneself is possible at any age.
The closure we seek comes from within, not from others.
Self-focus is essential for healing from narcissistic relationships.
Understanding the systems dynamics can help in recognizing unhealthy patterns.
It's important to accept where you are in your healing journey.
You don't need the approval of dysfunctional family members to change.
Reframing our thoughts can create a healthier internal environment.
Humor can be a coping mechanism for dealing with narcissistic abuse.

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You Are Not Your Programming: Healing the Narcissistic Wound with Jerry Wise, Part One Apr 20, 2025

Show notes

In this part one of two conversation, Renee Swanson and Jerry Wise delve into the complexities of narcissism and the concept of self-differentiation. Jerry shares his extensive experience in family systems therapy and explains how self-differentiation allows individuals to grow into their true selves without absorbing the toxicity of others. They discuss the loss of self often experienced by those raised in narcissistic families, the internal messages that keep individuals stuck, and the distinctions between healthy and unhealthy guilt and shame. The conversation emphasizes the importance of personal growth and healing in overcoming the effects of narcissism.

Takeaways

Self-differentiation is crucial for personal growth.
Narcissistic families often hinder the development of a true self.
Healing involves getting rid of family programming. Shame and guilt can be healthy or unhealthy.
It's important to separate true feelings from system feelings.
You can maintain relationships with narcissistic individuals by understanding your own identity.
Self-love is essential for healing.
Many feelings of unworthiness stem from family dysfunction.
Understanding the difference between guilt types is vital for emotional health.
You are not responsible for the programming you received from your family.

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From Falling Apart to Fighting Back: A Raw Divorce Story with Andrea from How Not to Suck at Divorce Apr 17, 2025

Show notes

What happens when the fairy tale was never a fairy tale to begin with?

In this powerful episode, Renee Swanson is joined by Andrea, the candid and courageous voice behind the hit podcast How Not to Suck at Divorce. Andrea doesn’t just share her story—she lays it all out. The red flags she ignored. The justifications she clung to. The slow unraveling of her identity. The physical collapse that finally forced her to confront the truth.

Together, Renee and Andrea dive deep into:

The invisible trauma of covert emotional abuse
How your childhood shapes the dysfunction you tolerate
The cost of trying to “make it work” while losing yourself
Why the hardest part isn’t leaving—it’s everything that comes after
The importance of creating a plan... and what happens when it all falls apart

Andrea’s brutal honesty, dark humor, and heartfelt wisdom remind us that healing starts with bravery—and that no matter how broken you feel, there is a way through.

💬 “Your life will never get better unless you get brave.” — Andrea

This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling stuck, scared, or unsure about whether change is even possible. You’re not alone. And your future can look nothing like your past.

👉 Listen now—and get ready to feel seen.
👉 Then hop over to How Not to Suck at Divorce for even more practical tools and fierce support.

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Conversations I Wish I Had with My Covert Narcissist Apr 13, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, we’re diving into the conversations I wish I could have had with the covert narcissist in my life. The words I rehearsed but never said. The truths I buried for the sake of “keeping the peace.” The sarcasm I bit back. The boundaries I swallowed. All of it. Because sometimes, the only way to make sense of the madness that is covert narcissistic abuse is to talk it out—even if it’s only in your own head.

We’re pulling back the curtain on:

The emotional minefield of everyday life with a covert narcissist
The way gaslighting turns simple moments into emotional warfare
The mental gymnastics of the “circular conversation”
The rage that gets disguised as “just a rough day”
The slow erosion of your voice when you’re always managing their emotions

You’ll hear my real thoughts—the ones I kept silent because saying them out loud would’ve meant inviting more chaos, more blame, more confusion. But here? We say them. We say them all.

This isn’t just about venting. It’s about reclaiming the space to name what happened, to validate the version of reality you know you experienced, and to remind you that you’re not crazy. You’re not too sensitive. You’re not imagining it. You’re waking up.

So grab your tea, your journal, or just a quiet moment in your car, and let’s process together. Because your voice matters. Even if it’s shaking. Even if it’s only just starting to come back.

✨ Leave this episode knowing:
You don’t have to keep tapdancing around someone else’s dysfunction to be worthy of love, safety, or peace.
You get to stop shrinking.
You get to stop rehearsing.
You get to heal.

—

🔗 Want support on your healing journey?
Your story matters, and you deserve to be heard without judgment. If you’re ready to take the next step toward healing, check out my coaching services at www.covertnarcissism.com. And don’t forget to subscribe for more empowering episodes like this one.

#covertnarcissism #gaslighting #emotionalabuse #covertnarcissist #healingjourney #narcissisticabuserecovery #reclaimyourvoice #podcastforsurvivors

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