The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Latest Episodes:

When Addiction, Trauma, and Narcissistic Traits Collide: A Candid Talk with Todd Rennebohm Jun 19, 2025

Show notes

Are they a covert narcissist or an alcoholic? What if the alcohol goes away? Does this get better?

In this candid and thought-provoking conversation, I sit down with Todd Rennebohm, host of Bunny Hugs and Mental Health, to explore the complex intersection of addiction, trauma, emotional dysregulation, and misunderstood behaviors. Todd opens up about his lived experience with substance abuse, undiagnosed ADHD, and the journey from survival mode to genuine healing.

Together, we unpack the blurry line between narcissistic traits and trauma responses—especially when addiction or mental health challenges are at play. We talk about emotional regulation, humility, personal growth, and the powerful difference between true narcissism and wounded coping strategies.

Whether you're trying to understand a loved one, your partner, or even yourself… this episode offers clarity, compassion, and hope.

https://bunnyhugspodcast.com/

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The Birthday That Broke You: Why Covert Narcissists Ruin Special Occasions Jun 15, 2025

Show notes

You planned everything perfectly — the dinner, the outfit, the guest list.
But somehow, your birthday still ended in silence. Or tears. Or walking on eggshells.

If you’ve ever felt like your special moments were stolen — you’re not alone.
In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists sabotage holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and even simple family gatherings. We’ll dive into the hidden motives behind their emotional sabotage, including control, envy, and resentment — and how their behavior leaves survivors dreading the very days that were meant to be joyful.

You’ll hear real-life examples, psychological insights, and healing strategies — including a powerful tradition we hold at my annual retreat to reclaim the holidays that were taken from us.

🎉 Plus: how to create your own personal holiday to celebrate your healing, your freedom, and the life you’re building — on your own terms.

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What’s in Your Basement? How Childhood Trauma Sabotages Adult Relationships Jun 12, 2025

Show notes

We all live on the "main floor" of our emotional house—handling relationships, responsibilities, and day-to-day life. But when things break down, the real answers are often hidden in the basement: our childhood. In this episode, I unpack how unresolved childhood trauma silently shapes the way we love, react, and connect as adults. You'll learn why survival responses like people-pleasing, emotional numbing, and fear of closeness aren’t signs of weakness—they’re signs of old wiring that needs your attention. If you've ever wondered why healthy love feels so hard, it's time to take a look downstairs.

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How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids Amidst Covert Narcissistic Abuse Jun 08, 2025

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How do you raise emotionally grounded, self-aware children when you're navigating the chaos and confusion of covert narcissistic abuse — or healing from it yourself?

In this powerful episode, we explore what it means to parent with intention, clarity, and compassion in the aftermath of narcissistic harm. Whether you're co-parenting with a narcissist, raising children who were exposed to emotional manipulation, or trying to unlearn toxic patterns from your own childhood, this episode is for you.

We cover:

Why your awareness is already part of the healing
How to model emotional safety — not perfection
What to do when you see narcissistic behaviors in your child
How to undo the messaging they’ve absorbed from the narcissistic parent
And how your imperfect, intentional presence can shift your child’s relational blueprint

Because you don’t have to be perfect — just present, honest, and willing to grow.

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Nature versus Nurture: Where Did All This Narcissism Come From? Jun 05, 2025

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Are narcissists born or made? In this foundational episode, we unpack the complex roots of narcissism through the lens of both nature and nurture. We explore how temperament, early childhood environment, and relational trauma interact to shape narcissistic behaviors — and why it’s not always a direct path.

You’ll learn:

How biological traits like sensitivity or the need for validation can become liabilities in emotionally unsafe environments
Why narcissism is often a learned survival strategy — and not always from overtly abusive parenting
That not everyone raised in a narcissistic home becomes a narcissist — and some narcissists weren’t raised by narcissists at all
How to understand the difference between narcissistic traits and full-blown personality disorder
Why the origins of someone’s narcissism don’t excuse the harm they cause — and what that means for your healing

Whether you’re still in the relationship or long out, this episode offers clarity, validation, and direction. Because you don’t have to figure this out alone. And understanding the “why” helps you stop taking on the impossible task of fixing it.

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Fix-It Mode and the Trauma Bond: When Love Becomes Survival Jun 01, 2025

Show notes

Why is it so hard to leave — even when you know the relationship is toxic?

In this powerful episode, we expose the hidden truth behind trauma bonding with a covert narcissist. It’s not just emotional confusion — it’s chemical addiction. You’re not addicted to the person; you’re addicted to the highs, the relief, the dopamine rush that follows emotional chaos. And while you're chasing connection, they’re chasing something else entirely: your Fix-It Mode.

We’ll break down the neuroscience of trauma bonding, explore why your empathy is being exploited, and uncover why the narcissist needs to keep collapsing — just to keep you engaged. This isn’t love. It’s survival mode.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in the cycle of emotional whiplash — adored one moment, blamed the next — this episode will help you see the pattern for what it is… and finally begin to break free.

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Trying Too Hard to Fix It: When Enough Finally Becomes Enough May 29, 2025

Show notes

If you’ve been bending over backwards trying to fix a relationship that keeps breaking you… this episode is for you.

Today, I’m sharing a personal story about the moment I was asked a question that stopped me in my tracks: “Can you honestly say you’ve done everything you know to do?” That one question made me face the truth — not about the relationship, but about how much of myself I had been pouring into something that couldn’t be repaired by effort alone.

In this episode, we explore:

Why survivors of covert narcissistic abuse try so hard to fix what isn’t fixable
How over-functioning keeps us stuck in one-sided emotional labor
What “giving it your all” really means — and what it doesn’t
The illusion of the “one right book, podcast, or article” that will finally make them change
The moment you realize you’ve done enough — even if they never did
How to stop proving your pain and start honoring your healing

You don’t have to wait until you’re completely broken to say, “That’s enough.”
You’re allowed to stop trying when your trying is costing you your peace, your clarity, and your self-worth.

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Dreading the Weekend: The Backwards Reality of Covert Narcissistic Abuse May 25, 2025

Show notes

If you find yourself dreading the weekend and breathing easier on Monday mornings, you might be living in the upside-down world of covert narcissistic abuse.

In this powerful episode, we explore what it’s like to live with a covert narcissist whose presence turns weekends into emotional minefields. While others relax and recharge, you're managing moods, walking on eggshells, and just trying to make it through.

We’ll walk through the emotional rhythm of the week — from the sweet relief of Monday morning to the quiet panic of Friday afternoons — and explain why this backwards cycle is not only real, but a key sign of emotional abuse.

You'll also learn a simple but transformative mindset tool I teach my clients called “popcorn moments” — a way to regain your sanity by observing the chaos instead of getting pulled into it.

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Are They a Covert Narcissist or Just a Jerk? How to Tell the Difference May 22, 2025

Show notes

Are they a covert narcissist—or are they just being a jerk?
That’s one of the most common (and most confusing) questions I hear from clients and listeners. In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, we break down real-life examples of those cutting, guilt-laced, or backhanded comments that leave you wondering: Was that emotional abuse, passive-aggressive manipulation, or just a bad moment?

From relationship red flags like “Must be nice to have that kind of freedom”, to parental guilt trips like “After all I’ve done for you…”, we’ll look at how to spot the signs of covert narcissism versus everyday jerk behavior.

You’ll learn how to recognize emotional invalidation, gaslighting, guilt trips, and passive-aggressive abuse—and how to tell when it’s a manipulative pattern instead of a one-off mistake.
If you’ve been left second-guessing your reality, feeling invisible or emotionally punished, this episode will help you find clarity.

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Circular Conversations from Hell: Trapped in the Loop with a Covert Narcissist May 18, 2025

Show notes

Ever walk away from a conversation feeling more confused than when you started—like somehow, even though you were calm, kind, and clear, you’re the one apologizing again?

Welcome to the maddening world of circular conversations with a covert narcissist.

In this episode, we dive into the logic-defying, soul-draining dynamics that keep you stuck in emotional loops—where nothing gets resolved, the goalposts always move, and your reality is constantly twisted. Before you even had the words “covert narcissism,” you probably felt it: the confusion, the guilt, the slow erasure of your clarity and confidence.

You’ll hear a dramatized conversation that shows how these patterns unfold, how covert narcissists derail resolution, and what gaslighting really sounds like behind closed doors. More importantly, we’ll explore how to step out of the spiral—with grounded examples, boundary-setting phrases, and reminders that you’re not crazy. You’re being manipulated.

If you’re tired of talking in circles and ready to reclaim your peace, this one’s for you.

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