The Couples Therapist Couch

Latest Episodes:

053: Money Conversations and Couples with Kiné Corder Jul 17, 2018

Show notes

When couples come to us with issues related to money they often feel completely stuck. One partner might want to save for the future and one partner might want to give their children valuable experiences in the present. There is often a multitude of stuff going on beneath the surface that couples are only partially aware of.

In this episode with Kiné Corder we go into detail about how to help couples listen and understand each other's values without compromising their own. We talk about how to help couples not only communicate, but also to make a plan that they can both feel good about and provide them with structure about how to work through difficult money conversations.

Kiné Corder is a best-selling author, international speaker, and psychotherapist specializing in financial therapy. She is the host of the Love and Money Podcast.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

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To learn more check out kinecorder.com

Connect with Kine on Facebook: http://kinecorder.com/facebook

Connect with Kine on Instagram: http://kinecorder.com/instagram

Get the free money course: http://kinecorder.com/free-course

052: Harville Hendrix on Imago Couples Therapy Jul 10, 2018

Show notes

This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times.

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To learn more check out harvilleandhelen.com

and relationshipsfirst.org

051: How to Have an Amazing First Couples Therapy Session with Shane Birkel Jul 03, 2018

Show notes

As Couples Therapists we all know that Couples Therapy is much different that Individual Therapy. It is easy to get off track and wrapped up in content. It is very important that we have the ability to stay still and redirect the couples we work with to stay with the conversations of process.

As we begin to collect data in the first session it is important to have a mental framework in mind for us to think about how we are conceptualizing the case. We must also make sure to get each person's perspective separately. In this episode Shane Birkel goes into detail about how to manage that first session and how to make sure each partner feels heard in the process.

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Check out Shane's practice website at shanebirkel.com

050: Ian Kerner on Treating Sexual Issues in Couples Therapy Jun 26, 2018

Show notes

Some of the most popular episodes on the podcast have been about working with sex in the context of Couples Therapy. There are so many dimensions to explore beyond the physical aspect of what is going on sexually. In this episode Ian Kerner talks about a range of ways to explore sexuality in more depth. Considerations include where clients fall in the life span, cultural, family of origin, medications, psychological issues, internalized beliefs interpersonal and relational issues.

Also during this episode we talk about using a science based approach, the PLISSIT model, low desire, mismatch libido, erotic temperament, sexual function issues, and the willingness window.

Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor who specializes in sex therapy, couples therapy and working with individuals on a range of relational issues. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in various media, with appearances on The Today Show, The Dr. Oz Show, and NPR. He lectures frequently on topics related to sex and relationships.

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Check out Ian's website at iankerner.com

Ian's Books

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

049: Ellyn Bader on The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy Jun 19, 2018

Show notes

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience.

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

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Check out the free gift from Ellyn at couplesinstitute.com/therapist.couch.podcast

Books

In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy

Tell me no Lies: How to Stop Lying to Your Partner - And Yourself - In the 4 Stages of Marriage

048: Kinky Folks and Non-Traditional Couples with Heather Garner Jun 12, 2018

Show notes

As therapists there is a lot we can do to make people feel more comfortable and safe to open up. Doing our own work to challenge biases is an important part of helping other people grow. Part of what is helpful is to be kink aware and come at any sexual conversation with a spirit of openness, understanding, and without judgement.

In this conversation with Heather Garner, she talks about how to get educated as therapists and continue to grow in order to make people feel safe and accepted. Heather is the founder of Garnering Change Psychotherapy, a group practice near Baltimore, MD. She has a passion for working with sexual minorities.

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Check out Heather's practice website at garneringchange.net

Resources

Black Rose: http://br.org/br/

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom: https://www.ncsfreedom.org/ Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon Documentary: BDSM: It's Not What You Think http://www.bdsmdocumentary.com/

047: George Faller on Pursuers and Withdrawers in EFT Jun 05, 2018

Show notes

Many couples fall into a predictable dance that neither one of them want to be in. They end up being stuck in this pattern and can't seem to free themselves. One partner is the pursuer and one partner is that withdrawer. The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws. In order to make progress, both partner must be able to give up their stance in this situation. George Faller has seen this pattern play out time and time again and has helped couples to be understanding of each other and make new moves that enable them to be free of the vicious cycles they get stuck in. George teaches couples that they can understand the pattern and work together. It is all about trusting the other partner and being able to change the dynamic. George Faller is a husband father, therapist, educator, speaker, writer, and global leading in helping people reconnect and strengthen their relationships. He is a certified Supervisor/Trainer/Therapist in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and founder of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, where he serves as president. The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out George's website at georgefaller.com

Find out more about George's book Sacred Stress

046: Millennials and Gen Zs in Love with Shadeen Francis May 29, 2018

Show notes

Expectations for relationships are changing faster than ever. What was considered "normal" for our grandparent's generation is being challenged and evolving all the time.

In this interview with Shadeen Francis, we talk about the ever changing realities of relationship expectations for Millennials and Gen Zs. Much of what we discuss is helpful and important for any relationship.

Shadeen Francis, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist, professor, and author. She has over 7 years of experience training, supporting, and collaborating with non-profit organizations, medical schools, homeless shelters, and university counseling centres. Her work allows people of all backgrounds to improve their relationships and live the lives they desire.

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Check out Shadeen's website at shadeenfrancis.com

045: Multi-Heritage Couples with Melvin Escobar May 22, 2018

Show notes

When we assume that someone is right and someone is wrong, we are already setting ourselves up to be frustrated in the conversation. Instead of proving who is right, it is much more effective to be understanding and compassionate, especially with our partners.

Melvin Escobar beautifully describes the dynamics of power, privilege, internalized oppression, and cultural (in)sensitivity. Melvin has a private practice in Oakland, CA. He is also a registered yoga teacher. Melvin identifies as a queer cisgender man of color and second-generation El Salvadorian.

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Check out Melvin's practice website: melvinescobar.com

Resources

The People's Institute For Survival and Beyond

Beyond the Culture of Separation

Showing Up For Racial Justice

The UNTraining

044: Building an Online Presence through Social Media with Dr. Julie Hanks May 15, 2018

Show notes

Most therapists don't like the idea of being in front of dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of others. We feel right at home with one or two people in our office, but we need to build confidence in showing up and getting our message out to the world.

Some of the best ways to do this is to have a fantastic website, being present on social media and reaching out to the media at large. Dr. Julie Hanks talks all about how to do this and what strategies to focus on as you begin to build your influence in the world.

Dr. Julie Hanks is the author of The Burnout Cure and The Assertiveness Guide for Women. She is a private practice consultant and helps therapists grow their private practices and group practices. She has a website and facebook group called the Private Practice Toolbox. She teaches Rock the Media School for therapists.

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Check out DrJulieHanks.com

Check out Julie's practice website at wasatchfamilytherapy.com

Julie's website for therapists, privatepracticetoolbox.net

and for the Rock the Media School

Click here to join The Private Practice Toolbox Facebook Group

connect @DrJulieHanks on social media

Video of Julie Singing