The Best Life Podcast

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Ep. 535: The Anatomy of Betrayal with Lindsay Haverslew, The Betrayal Trauma Therapist Oct 23, 2024

Show notes

We love talking about relationships on this show, and that interest started with the upheaval we faced when our respective marriages ended due to infidelity. What we never realized was that that experience was a traumatic event for us—the kind of event that permanently alters our mental and emotional states. Dealing with betrayal and infidelity felt so lonely and isolating almost a decade ago as we went through it, but now there are people like Lindsay Haverslew, aka The Betrayal Trauma Therapist, who are normalizing and educating people on the real traumas of betrayal, and helping other people like us rewrite our stories with happy endings. We were so excited to talk with her about all-things infidelity and betrayal, and how people in the thick of their heartbreak can begin a journey towards healing.

Connect with Lindsay: @the.betrayal.trauma.therapist

Betrayal can be a true traumatic event [2:10]

The shame and judgement around staying [5:18]

Give yourself permission to not know [9:06]

What do signs of real change look like? [12:06]

Hyper-vigilance and re-learning to trust again [17:10]

Navigating grief [21:31]

Do you need a formal disclosure of what happened? [25:03]

Action steps toward healing [29:05]

Taking ownership in a constructive way [31:53]

The biggest misconceptions people have about infidelity [38:09]

“Manifesting” people who hurt us [40:16]

A retreat for people who have been betrayed [46:17]

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FOLLOW JILL: @jillfit

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@Danny-J

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Ep. 534: Would You Date An Addict? Oct 18, 2024

Show notes

Would you date someone with a history of addiction? We all have different feelings about addictions, and different histories with addictive substances. We don’t believe that struggling with addiction is a moral failing that makes you a bad person, but we do know that addictions impact relationships in big ways, and should be taken seriously. People who have addictions deserve love just like anyone else, but there are some parts of addiction that need to be taken into account when starting a relationship with someone.

Can you be “too old” to get married? [1:17]

How do you feel about our random banter [6:23]

Would you date a former addict? [11:26]

How long ago was their run-in with addiction? [13:19]

What kind of addiction is it? [16:25]

Are our problems too similar? [18:27]

Privacy vs. secrecy [20:23]

Being mindful of your own traumas [22:02]

We have less taboos and more resources now [23:05]

Understanding circumstances [27:40]

Shame grows in secrecy [28:44]

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@Jill Coleman

@Danny-J

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Ep. 533: Should We Be Dressing Age-Appropriately? Oct 16, 2024

Show notes

We have a love-hate relationships with Threads. It’s a fascinating app with some of the worst rage-bait and hot takes, but we fall for it every time. Recently we saw a post about the idea that women, after a certain age, need to be dressing “age appropriate.” If you know anything about us, you’ll know what comes next: fuck that shit. We’ve always been live-and-let-live kind of people, and especially when it comes to what someone wears, we find ourselves thinking, who even gives a shit? If you don’t want to wear a mini-skirt as an old lady, then don’t! But it’s not your job to judge whether someone is dressed “correctly” for their age.

Plagiarism and clickbait on Threads [1:49]

Women dressing “inappropriately” for their age [4:31]

Why are you policing what anyone wears? [6:20]

Dressing practically [8:22]

You can never win, so might as well be happy [10:58]

Opinions aren’t facts [12:26]

Boldness is inspirational [14:17]

Context of your outfits matter [16:02]

Fashion has no hard, fast rules [17:35]

FOLLOW JILL: @jillfit

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@Jill Coleman

@Danny-J

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Ep. 532: Who Is Qualified To Give Advice? Oct 11, 2024

Show notes

Everyone “knows” the right things to do in life when their own lives are great. What if your life is falling apart—should you still be giving advice then? Or accepting advice from people who don’t live perfect lives? Giving and receiving advice is always a touchy subject, especially when it isn’t asked for. But even someone who has no idea what they’re doing can have some wisdom to impart, even if that wisdom is just “never do what I’m doing.”

It’s easy to be all good when everything is all good [5:24]

Even during the worst times, you’ve still learned something [7:45]

Who do you trust? Who cares about you? [10:08]

Responding to unsolicited advice [13:19]

Offering advice only when it’s asked for [15:27]

Ask open ended questions [19:04]

You don’t need to know everything to help someone [21:11]

We help people on a similar journey to ours [24:08]

You don’t have to be perfect to be an expert [27:17]

FOLLOW JILL: @jillfit

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@Jill Coleman

@Danny-J

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Ep. 531: To Use Ads or Not To Use Ads? Oct 09, 2024

Show notes

Once upon a time we used to think that people who used ads for their businesses or personal brands were somehow “cheating.” Now, we just wish we had started using them earlier. We all know the algorithm is unpredictable now and even when people follow us, we can’t guarantee that they’ll see our content. Not to mention the fact that if we want to scale our businesses in meaningful ways, we need to get in front of new eyes! Ads don’t have to be a get-rich-quick scam—when used the right way, they can get your content in front of the right eyes at the right time. We call that a win-win.

Thinking that ads count as cheating [2:49]

Ads aren’t a cheat code [5:03]

Looking for a specific audience [9:08]

Find someone who knows how ads work [13:41]

When is the right time to star using ads? [14:49]

Put money behind what already works [18:06]

Are affiliates a good fit? [19:48]

Don’t run ads without a strategy [24:03]

FOLLOW JILL: @jillfit

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@Jill Coleman

@Danny-J

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Ep. 530: Even The Most Confident People Can Have Insecurities Oct 04, 2024

Show notes

We’ve done a lot of work to face our own insecurities, and for the most part, we’re very comfortable and confident with ourselves. Despite our best efforts, we still feel the sting of insecurity sometimes. Bodies, brains, businesses… it’s easy to compare. But insecurities aren’t objective truth, and when you own your own shit, there’s no space left to feel threatened. That’s the Best Life.

(This episode is a re-run from 2022)

Even the most confident people have insecurities [2:33]

Insecurities aren’t objective [6:51]

Looking for connection rather than competition [8:51]

Everyone has their own insecurities [12:18]

Own who you are [13:15]

Why are we threatened rather than inspired? [13:47]

Your feelings of intimidation are on you [16:22]

Your projections can hurt people [17:58]

We compare up, rather than compare down [20:43]

FOLLOW JILL: @jillfit

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@Jill Coleman

@Danny-J

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Ep. 529: Finding Abundance When Money is Scarce Oct 02, 2024

Show notes

We are officially in a recession and it costs an arm and a leg each day, just to be alive. The idea of a recession alone can get people closing their wallets and preparing for the worst… but it doesn’t have to be that way. Abundance is possible no matter what the economy is looking like, and it all begins with our mindsets and choosing to invest in ourselves. There’s a lot of uncertainty in the world, but there’s one thing you can always rely on: yourself.

Scarcity begets scarcity [1:34]

Knowing when it’s time to spend money [4:24]

Be more mindful of the small things [9:18]

Investing in yourself has infinite ROI [11:30]

What can you do to create abundance? [15:04]

We second guess ourselves more than our material goods [19:09]

Be the best at what you do [21:25]

Now is the best time to invest in yourself [24:14]

FOLLOW JILL: @jillfit

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@Jill Coleman

@Danny-J

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Ep. 528: The Secret to Making Hard Decisions Sep 27, 2024

Show notes

There are times in our lives when we have difficult decisions to make, but we’re unsure of the way forward. How can we know what the right thing to do is? What if we choose wrong and everything is ruined? The thing is, there’s no such thing as the “wrong” decision. The answers are rarely clear, and you may feel evenly split among your choices, but that doesn’t make any choice “right” or “wrong.” You just make a choice, trust yourself to handle the outcome, and come what may. Your future self always has your current self’s back.

Being scared of making difficult decisions [1:26]

The big decisions are rarely clear [6:27]

Finding ownership in your decisions [9:37]

There’s no such thing as a wrong decision [12:26]

Trust that you can handle any outcome [13:58]

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FOLLOW JILL: @jillfit

FOLLOW DANNY J: @dannyjdotcom

You can also follow us on Facebook

@Jill Coleman

@Danny-J

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Ep. 527: Is There A Right Time to Get Pushy on Sales Calls? Sep 25, 2024

Show notes

Does selling have to be sleazy? Danny and Jill are big proponents of marketing and selling with integrity, and that includes not pushing someone to buy when it’s clearly not the right choice for them. But after some recent sales conversations, Danny has been left wondering if there’s a right time to push someone, especially when you know that you have the solution they’re looking for.

Starting to do some sales calls [0:59]

The balance between understanding and pushing [4:13]

Pushing your clients to a solution they need [8:44]

Sales with integrity [11:10]

Understanding the real objections [16:13]

If you have the solution, it’s your job to help people [18:40]

Get a personalized playlist for all your fav podcast topics!

thebestlifepodcast.com/playlist

FOLLOW JILL: @jillfit

FOLLOW DANNY J: @dannyjdotcom

You can also follow us on Facebook

@Jill Coleman

@Danny-J

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Ep. 526: The Science (and Art) of Functional Medicine with Erin Holt, aka The Funk'tional Nutritionist Sep 20, 2024

Show notes

You may have heard of “functional” nutrition and medicine, but what the hell does that even mean, and why should you care? As Erin Holt, aka The Funk’tional Nutritionist, tells us, function medicine is about focusing on the root causes of illness, rather than simply treating symptoms. For so long, traditional medicine has been gate-keeping our health, so Erin has built a business helping us become active participants in our own health journeys, while also training other nutrition providers the importance and impact of functional nutrition. But Erin didn’t come here just to talk about nutrition, she’s also a bad-ass entrepreneur and shares her insights on navigating visibility, criticism, and the emotional aspects of entrepreneurship, emphasizing the need for mentorship and personal growth in the journey. She’s our favorite kind of person.

Looking to school to help heal from disordered eating [4:48]

The root causes of our health struggles [8:10]

Who needs functional medicine? [12:41]

Should we be gatekeeping health? [17:56]

You need to be getting your clients real results [21:20]

The Funk’tional Nutrition Academy [25:11]

If your certs aren’t helping, you need business advice [29:49]

Can anyone be an entrepreneur? [33:36]

Expanding her business [40:14]

Learning to empower others to do more [46:39]

The biggest hurdles to starting an online business [49:50]

You can’t control how people see you [57:52]