The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

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**The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}**

Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children’s mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you’re parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work.

You can become your child’s expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.

Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

Latest Episodes:

EP 226: The Power of Delight in Parenting Kids with BBBs Jun 17, 2025

Show notes

I know- sometimes it feels impossible to feel delight toward your child. I get it!

BUT! If you can find even micro-moments of delight, it can be very powerful for both you and your child.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How is delight related to secure attachment
The science behind why it’s sometimes very hard to find delight in kids with vulnerable nervous systems
How to intentionally look for and pause in moments of delight
Why delight doesn’t just help your child, but your nervous system too

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Titrating Connection- Oppositional Series Part 4 {EP 159}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/delight

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

EP 225: How to Stay Curious When Behavior Makes No Sense Jun 10, 2025

Show notes

When your child’s behavior leaves you feeling confused, frustrated, or even hopeless, staying curious might be the last thing on your mind.

But curiosity is actually SO COOL! It’s both a parenting strategy AND a nervous system state.

In this episode, we’ll explore how to access curiosity, even when behavior makes no sense, and how that curiosity helps us find the path forward.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why curiosity is a sign your owl brain is online, and how to use curiosity to invite your owl brain back when it’s not
A powerful question to shift your lens from “what’s wrong?” to “what’s needed?”
How baffling behavior can reveal clues about what regulation, safety, or connection your child is missing?

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Not flipping your lid...when your kid flips theirs {EP 10}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/staycurious

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 224: Is Behavior Change the Goal? Jun 03, 2025

Show notes

When you're dealing with whining, hitting, defiance, back talk…well, of course you want it to stop. But what if behavior change isn’t actually the place to start? Not for long-term behavior change, at least.

In this episode, I explore why behavior change does matter, but why it’s not the first goal, especially for kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

HEADS UP! I’m not necessarily asking YOU- the one facing these out of control behaviors- to change your goal of behavior change. But…what if the people who are helping you could stay focused on that truth?!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why all behavior makes sense—even the baffling kind
What happens when we shift from changing behavior to addressing the nervous system
How holding two truths at once helps you feel more regulated, even in hard moments

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/BehaviorChange

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 223: What a Trigger REALLY Is May 27, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever freaked out at your child and then later thought, “Where did that come from?” Yup, that’s being triggered!

In this episode, we’ll unpack the neuroscience behind why we get triggered, what memory processing has to do with it, and how to find your way back to presence and connection.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

The anatomy of a trigger
What’s actually happening in your brain when the past takes over the present
What to do next- how to help your owl brain come back and parent in the here-and-now

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/trigger

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep. 222: Lying, Stealing, Regression & Baby Talk May 20, 2025

Show notes

Why do kids sometimes - or a lot of the time! - suddenly act much younger…or sneakier?! In this episode, we use Dr. Bruce Perry’s concept of state-dependent functioning to reframe some of the baffling behaviors as signs of stress, not signs of defiance.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic, join us over in The Club. In June 2025, we’re having a masterclass all about behaviors and state dependent functioning- complete with a brand-new illustrated resource. If you’re hearing this episode in the future, the masterclass is stored in our on-demand video library and can still be accessed!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why regression and baby talk are symptoms of a nervous system in distress
How lying and stealing are driven by survival states
What it means when your child’s sense of time collapses and they can’t think about future consequences

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/babytalk

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep. 221: A Brain-Based Way to Understand Baffling Behavior May 13, 2025

Show notes

Could you use a short refresher about what I mean when I say your child’s "owl brain flew away"? Or do yoRu know someone who is willing to listen to a short explanation of how you’re approaching your child’s baffling behaviors?

In this episode, I revisit - briefly- what behavior really is and the owl, watchdog, and possum brain metaphor. I explain why it's such a helpful way to understand your child's baffling behaviors. I also talk about what actually helps those protective brains calm down so the owl can return.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

What the owl, watchdog, and possum brains really represent in your child’s behavior.
How to recognize which brain state is in charge.
Why our goal isn’t to fix the behavior but to offer regulation, connection, and safety.

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/brainbasedunderstanding

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 220: Mini Pep-Talk for When You Feel Like You’re Failing May 06, 2025

Show notes

If you’ve clicked on this episode because you’re feeling like you're failing—at parenting, at keeping it together, at helping your child—I'm really glad you’re here.

Because first, I want you to know this: you’re not failing. You’re doing something incredibly hard. Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system, whether your child has been impacted by trauma, or has sensory differences, or just has a brain wired a little differently, is extremely intensive parenting.

I created this episode so you can:

Easily return to it when you need a ‘mini pep talk’
Listen in a short period of time- I know I’m usually a little long-winded
Be reminded as often as you need: this isn’t your fault. You’re not failing

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/peptalk

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep 219: 20 Non-Therapy Therapeutic Interventions Apr 29, 2025

Show notes

If your kid refuses therapy, what other options are there?

Or maybe they don’t refuse therapy, but you’d still like to increase the therapeutic support for your child and family.

Here are 20 different non-therapy therapeutic supports based on Dr. Perry’s work of ‘moments of healing’ and experiences that are rhythmic, repetitive, relational, and somatosensory

Over on my website, you can download a handout that lists them all out (and was generated with the help of AI) so you don’t have to take notes!

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/therapeuticinterventions

Follow Me On:

Facebook

Instagram

Over on my website you can find:

Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep 218: Questions to ask a Potential Therapist Apr 22, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever wondered what types of questions you should ask a new therapist to assess how well they understand behaviors through the lens of the nervous system?

No need to take notes during this episode, I created downloadable handouts you can access with just one click. Listen to the episode then head over to my website!

PLEASE NOTE. These are suggestions. Please vet your professionals thoroughly. I’m certain there are many important questions left off of this list. I’m also certain there are many excellent trainings that I did not include in the list of potential trainings. Also, even if a therapist meets all the criteria, that doesn’t mean they are the right therapist for your family. Even someone trained with me isn’t necessarily the therapist or professional that is right for you.

In this episode, you’ll learn

Questions you can ask a therapist to get a feel for how well they conceptualize behaviors through the lens of the nervous system
Red flags to pay attention to
Trainings on a therapist’s resume that suggest they conceptualize behavior through the lens of ‘all behavior makes sense.’

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Questions to Ask a Potential New Therapist. Download by CLICKING HERE
Trainings a therapist may have that suggest they conceptualize behavior through the lens of the nervous system. Download by CLICKING HERE
When Your Child Doesn't Participate In Therapy {EP 86} (also has an infographic many therapists use to describe therapy to parents)

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/questionsfortherapist

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep. 217: Co-Regulating? Or Masking? Apr 15, 2025

Show notes

Kids with vulnerable nervous systems need more co-regulation than other kids their age and yes it’s exhausting.

Did you know it’s possible to be GOOD exhausted and not just BAD exhausted?!?!

It’s you’re chronically exhausted, you’re probably not doing as much co-regulation as you are masking how dysregulated you are.

And hey- no judgment here! This is very explicitly a no-judgment episode. I don’t want you to feel bad or even try to do anything different.

In this episode, you’ll learn

The difference between co-regulating and masking
How doing something really hard (like co-regulating a child with a vulnerable nervous system day in and day out) means that YOU need more connection and co-regulation, too!
That you don’t need to try to do anything different right now, it’s too much work to do anything different. In this episode, I’ll just ask you to notice- without judgment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Stress Response System {EP 94}

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/coregulatingormasking

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

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