The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

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Kids & Family
**The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}**

Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children’s mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you’re parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work.

You can become your child’s expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.

Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

Latest Episodes:

Ep. 216: "On Purpose" Behavior Apr 08, 2025

Show notes

Have you ever wondered how those behaviors that feel 'on purpose' fit into this nervous system approach?

They feel so intentional! Like there is so much Owl-brain thought involved.

But they certainly aren't behaviors of connection!!!

This episode will:

Demystify 'on purpose' behaviors
Remind you to always consider regulation, connection, and felt safety...then strategize how to respond to those 'on purpose' behaviors accordingly

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Ep. 215: The #1 Ingredient of Self Regulation Apr 01, 2025

Show notes

Monitoring and modifying are the two essential elements of regulation. ~ Dr. Dan Siegel

When we really understand what makes up the skill of self-regulation, we can be more intentional about helping our kids develop those skills.

We can also be more understanding and compassionate when they aren't able to use those skills!

This episode explores the skills of monitoring (noticing) and modifying (changing) our level of arousal and activation as the main ingredients of self-regulation.

Remember that self-regulation can only develop with enough co-regulation. But once there is a strong foundation of co-regulation, we can encourage our kids to develop the skills to notice and change (when appropriate or needed!) their level of arousal.

In this episode, you’ll learn

The main ingredients of self-regulation- monitor & modify
How to scaffold up to teaching kids to monitor and modify
How to have appropriate expectations about your child’s ability to monitor and modify, even after they have learned the skills

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

The Whole-Brain Child - Dr. Dan Siegel
No-Drama Discipline - Dr. Dan Siegel

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/ingredient

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

EP 214: Helping Kids with Medical Trauma with Rose LaPiere Mar 25, 2025

Show notes

Medical trauma can feel confusing because in many circumstances, we are seeking out the very medical interventions that our kids experience as traumatic.

Trauma is in the eye of the beholder. Some kids experience trauma due to their time in the NICU. Some kids experience trauma at the dentist. Some kids experience trauma due to an emergency or accident.

Much of the time, parents feel helpless or even guilty for ‘causing’ the trauma.

In this episode, you’ll learn

How medical treatment can have a traumatic impact
How to help kids make sense of confusing medical treatment
A couple of ideas for how to help kids prepare for medical treatment

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/medicaltrauma

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep. 213: Resentment & Parenting Mar 18, 2025

Show notes

Resentment. We’ve all felt it.

Very little about this parenting journey has gone according to plan.

We’ve done the hard work- the never-ending work actually - of rewiring everything we thought we knew about behavior, what it means to be human, how to parent, and how to have a family.

Some days we do it without a second thought.

Some days are full of resentment and anger.

You aren’t a bad person. But resentment feels bad!

In this episode, you’ll learn

The very important job that resentment does for you
A message that resentment might be trying to tell you
The importance of staying curious - and not shaming - about the feeling of resentment

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/resentment

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep. 212: Are We Just Rewarding Bad Behavior? Mar 11, 2025

Show notes

One of the harder things to navigate when shifting to a nervous system lens on behavior is the feeling that a lot of the strategies seem like they are rewarding bad behavior.

Strategies that invite regulation, connection, and felt safety are usually strategies that feel good.

If our kids feel good after bad behavior, will they have MORE bad behavior??

In this episode, you’ll learn

What it might be signaling if you’re wondering if you’re rewarding bad behavior
How to avoid unintentionally increasing the likelihood of dysregulation in the future
Why it’s reallllllly important to offer connection, co-regulation and felt safety strategies when you are in connection mode

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {EP 144}
Is It Time to Raise the Bar? {EP 207}
Amanda Diekman - @lowdemandamanda

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/rewardbadbehavior

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep. 211: Hard? Too Hard? For PARENTS!!! Mar 04, 2025

Show notes

We talk a lot about hard very too hard for your kids (thanks Amanda Diekman for that hard vs. too hard language!).

But have you considered applying that concept to yourself?

This is intensive parenting! Far beyond when parenting is supposed to get less intensive, you’re still giving super-hero level scaffolding, supervision and co-regulation - and it’s a LOT!

In this episode, you’ll learn

How to assess for when it’s just TOO hard- for YOU!
The importance of making an owl-brain decision about things being too hard (or not)
Ways to increase support at the same time as you lower demands for yourself

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Enabling vs. Low-Demand podcast
Amanda Diekman - Low Demand Parenting on Instagram

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/toohard

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

{BONUS} Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior- webinar replay Feb 28, 2025

Show notes

This BONUS episode is the audio from my FREE webinar, Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior.

This webinar aired lived on 02/04/2025.

You can watch the video webinar for free over at https://RobynGobbel.com/webinar

You can also download the free, accompanying resources, including: eBook, fridge sheets about the Owl, Watchdog, and Possum, all the slides as handouts, and some additional accompanying infographics.

:::

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep 210: Sabotage and Being Set Up Feb 25, 2025

Show notes

It’s very common to feel like our kids are either intentionally sabotaging good things or that they are purposefully setting us up to be mad or disappointed or to have to say no.

You aren’t imagining this phenomenon!

All humans do it, but our kids with vulnerable nervous system and big, baffling behaviors may seem like they do it more often.

In this episode, you’ll learn

The neuroscience behind WHY our kids sabotage situations or set us up to be dysregulated
What they are really doing (and it’s actually full of hope)
How we might respond differently that could actually change their brai

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Rupture Repair podcast episode
Match the Energy not the Dysregulation podcast episode
Regulated, not Calm podcast episode
Brilliant of Attachment podcast series & eBook,which goes deeper into the concept of hope vs. expectation

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/setup

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep. 209: No One is Coming to Save Us Feb 18, 2025

Show notes

It took me a looooooong time to really truly believe and understand that- no one is coming to save me.

I had to do the hard work to take responsibility for my own triggers, my own nervous system, my own change. This only happened after oodles and oodles of safety, connection, and co-regulation.

Maybe you, like me, have held onto the hope that someone else will fix this. Your child will change, you’ll get the services you need, something will happen and everything will get better.

Maybe this journey through some of the intimate moments of my own healing journey can assist you on your’s.

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/saveus

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Ep. 208: Bravely Being With Grief with Rose LaPiere Feb 11, 2025

Show notes

Rose LaPiere LPC, RPT-S, and ACS invites into a space of safety and connection so we can make room for grief. Rose brings her own experiences of grief to her work as a play therapist (and co-leader in Robyn’s immersive training program for parenting professionals, Being With) so she can bravely welcome in, and be with, her client’s big, at times overwhelming, feelings.

In this episode, you’ll learn

The importance of authenticity, naming, and acknowledge even really really hard feelings
The role of playfulness is processing grief
The importance of self-compassion for the grown-ups and therapists supporting kids and families in their grief

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Rose's Website! - RoseLaPiere.com

Read the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/griefinfamilies/

Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

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