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    Kids & Family

    The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children’s mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you’re parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. 

    You can become your child’s expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.

    Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2024 The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

    • Apple Podcasts
    • Google Play
    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    Ep. 151: Loving your OWN Watchdog and Possum Brain (IT'S BOOK RELEASE WEEK!) Sep 19, 2023
    Show notes

    The best way to love your child’s watchdog and possum parts is by loving your own.

    Today, as I move toward wrapping up this writing-and-publishing-a-book chapter in my life, let’s talk a little more about the neuroscience of owls, watchdogs, and possums, why the science matters, and how my work has surprisingly become more about helping the grown-ups love their own owl, watchdog, and possum brains.
    Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors uses metaphor, story, and science to strengthen your owl brain (ventral vagal complex) and increase your window of stress tolerance. It is my hope that in reading this book, you will feel held by my owl brain.
    Thankfully, I have owl wings wrapped around my watchdog and possum brain, too. You can read about those folks in my acknowledgments.
    I have so many owls who have knit themselves into my neurobiology and strengthened my own owl self so that I can offer compassionate gratitude and nonjudgmental presence to you and your child.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • The science of the owl brain through the lens of Interpersonal Neurobiology
    • The science of the owl brain through the lens of polyvagal theory
    • The best way to strengthen YOUR owl brain
    • How strengthening your owl brain is the best way to strengthen your child’s

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.
    Free Resources! - robyngobbel.com/freeresources

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/lovingyourwatchdog

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 150: Why You Can Know What to Do and Still Not Do It?! Sep 12, 2023
    Show notes

    You’ve probably wondered how you can know the neuroscience of behavior and have a toolbox full of tools…and still struggle to actually USE those tools.

    Most parents have the thought “If I know what to do, why aren’t I actually doing it???”

    It’s not because you’re a bad parent.

    It’s because you’re dysregulated, have a sensitized stress response system, and probably have some implicit memories that leave you vulnerable to being triggered.
    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • How very little of our behavior comes from conscious thought
    • Why your sensitized stress response system leaves you vulnerable
    • Why regulated, connected parents who feel safe parent the way they want to

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.
    • When Parenting is Traumatic {EP 95}
    • Beginning of the memory series: Trauma, Memory, & Behavior Part 1 {EP 90}

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/knowwhattodo

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 149: "Fix" Behaviors by Calming the Watchdog & Possum Brain Sep 05, 2023
    Show notes

    Instead of responding or reacting to challenging behaviors, think about it as calming the watchdog or the possum brain. Once you understand how your child’s behaviors correspond to their level of dysregulation and lack of felt safety, you’ll be able to use strategies (for regulation, connection, and felt safety) that really work.

    In this episode we’ll discuss:

    • How challenging behaviors are the result of the stress response system
    • Why some kids have sensitized stress responses that lead to baffling behaviors
    • Strategies to calm the watchdog and possum brain

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.
    Free Resources! - robyngobbel.com/freeresources

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/calmwatchdogpossum

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 148: "Fix" Behaviors by Growing the Owl Brain Aug 29, 2023
    Show notes

    Wondering how to tackle your child's baffling behaviors effectively? Join me as I share insights from my comprehensive framework, as well as practical tools and an understanding of your own nervous system. We'll break down how three elements interweave to address complex behaviors and also discuss the subtitle behind my book, "Brain-body-sensory Strategies That Really Work."

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • Why the approach in Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is an approach that ‘really works’
    • Why Growing the Owl Brain is a more important place to focus than Responding to Watchdog and Possum Brain behavior
    • The three things to address to Grow the Owl Brain

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.
    Scaffolding Is A Form Of Co-regulation {EP 82}
    The Connected Therapist by Marti Smith

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/growtheowlbrain

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 147: What Behavior Really Is Aug 22, 2023
    Show notes

    Understanding what behavior really is helps us:

    • Stop playing behavior whack-a-mole
    • Use strategies and tools that really work
    • Stay more regulated so we can use our thinking brain to make good choices about what to do next

    We’re going back to basics with today’s podcast episode with a short exploration of the neuroscience of behavior- especially the most baffling behavior.
    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Book pre-order/order: robyngobbel.com/book

    Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whatbehaviorreallyis

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 146: Parenting When Your Partner is Not On Board Aug 15, 2023
    Show notes

    Are you struggling to find common ground with your partner when it comes to parenting? This episode will shed light on this common dilemma as we discuss understanding behavior, creating a support plan, and cultivating authenticity and honesty within the family. We'll explore the reasons behind resistance to paradigm shifts and dive into the intricacies of the owl, watchdog, and possum metaphor. You'll learn how curiosity and connection can bridge differences with your parenting partner, even when they seem insurmountable.
    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • The importance of addressing underlying issues and supporting your partner with parenting struggles
    • How having different parenting styles or philosophies doesn’t mean you can’t be a successful partnership
    • About tools needed to navigate these challenges and strengthen the relationship with your parenting partner


    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    • Has Trauma Informed Become A Behavior Modification Technique? {Ep 54}
    • What if Trauma Informed…Isn’t? {Ep 134}
    • But- What About A Consequence?!?! {Ep 56}
    • When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}
    • Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}
    • Q&A! What Do I Do When My Kid Gets Stuck And Ends Up Flipping Her Lid? {Ep 74}
    • Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84} (Podcast)

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 145: Calm the Chaos- a Transformative Framework for Parenting Aug 08, 2023
    Show notes

    Ever found yourself struggling to understand and support a child who simply doesn’t fit the mold? Dayna Abraham's way to Calm the Chaos might be just what you're looking for. Dayna's journey from being a sibling to a challenging brother, to teaching dysregulated kids, and then parenting a unique child herself, offers a wealth of wisdom and practical strategies. Dayna has taken everything she's learned from supporting her son and now helps struggling families all around the world.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • How Dayna’s personal experiences have led her to develop her Calm the Chaos framework for parents
    • The importance of seeing kids uniqueness as something to be celebrated, not changed
    • Why parents deserve exactly what our kids deserve- safety and connection and understanding

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Lemon Lime Adventures
    Calm the Chaos Book
    Calm the Chaos Podcast

    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/CalmtheChaos

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 144: Enabling vs Low-Demand Parenting Aug 01, 2023
    Show notes

    Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.
    In this episode you'll learn:

    • The importance of being self-attuned to whats hard vs. too hard
    • How to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your child
    • The difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulation

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Connection or Protection??? {7}
    What to do after We Mess up {80}
    Stress Response System {94}

    Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/Enabling

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 143: Building Safe Spaces: The Crucial Role of Adults in Children's Recovery from Trauma Jul 25, 2023
    Show notes

    Ever wondered how to build resilience in children who have suffered trauma? Our guest for today's episode, Ginger, Program Director for the Attachment and Trauma Network, gives a fresh perspective on it. Ginger's personal journey is inspiring, and her experience as a former child abuse investigator, an adoptive parent, and a survivor of postpartum and postadoption depression has shaped her approach to helping others. She shares her road to recovery, and how she found her calling in assisting families and children dealing with trauma and attachment issues.
    In this episode you'll learn:

    • Transitioning from traditional behavior plans to focusing on the child's nervous system
    • The importance of an adult's role in creating safe spaces
    • Practical co-regulation strategies for educators and parents

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:

    Regulation and Co-Regulation: Accessible Neuroscience that Brings Calm into the Classroom

    The Attachment & Trauma Network


    Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/BuildingSafeSpaces

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


    Ep. 142: Exploring Low Demand Parenting: Shifting Power Dynamics and Nurturing Trust Jul 18, 2023
    Show notes

    What if I told you that there's a revolutionary approach to parenting that's shifting the traditional power dynamics and nurturing stronger relationships of trust and understanding? My latest conversation with Amanda Diekman, author of the groundbreaking book "Low Demand Parenting", explores this very concept. Together, we tread into the challenging terrain of parenting children with highly sensitive nervous systems, sharing insightful strategies and breakthrough research work of Ross Green, Mona Delahooke, and Stuart Shanker.

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    • What is low-demand parenting
    • How to create a post-meltdown plan for parents

    Resources mentioned in this podcast:
    Low Demand Parenting- Released July 21, 2023
    https://us.jkp.com/products/lowdemand-parenting?_pos=1&_sid=b80ccd227&_ss=r
    ***For 20% off and free shipping, use code: BafflingBehaviors20

    Find Amanda on Instagram: @LowDemandAmanda
    Find Amanda online: https://www.amandadiekman.com
    Post Meltdown Plan for Parents on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/Ctgv-B1OjtE/
    Read a the full transcript at: https://RobynGobbel.com/lowdemand

    Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal

    Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording

    We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!

    RobynGobbel.com/immersion for every detail about the program you could be curious about!

    Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

    Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

    Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

    Follow Me On:
    Facebook
    Instagram

    Over on my website you can find:
    Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
    eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
    LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
    Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
    Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)


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