The Art of Charm

Latest Episodes:

Master Elite Human Dynamics: Lessons from Green Beret Nick Lavery Oct 23, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover what it takes to be a Green Beret with Nick Lavery. Nick is an active duty member of the United States Army Special Forces. On his 2nd combat rotation to Afghanistan 10 years ago, he and his detachment fell victim to an insider attack that led to Nick losing his leg. Refusing a military medical retirement, Nick set his sights on returning to operational status. Nick is considered the 1st special forces operator to return to combat as an above-the-knee amputee. Lastly, he's the author of the book Objective Secure: The Battle-Tested Guide to Goal Achievement.

The Green Berets are the elite special forces of the U.S. Army, but what separates the elite from the rest, why is relationship building critical to the Green Beret’s mission success, and what does it take to rapidly build trust and camaraderie with people across different cultures and language barriers?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why did Nick Lavery enlist in the Army Special Forces?

Most people never enlist this way – 11:30
What separates the Green Berets from other special operations forces in the military?
How do elite special forces learn to rapidly develop trust with people across different cultures and language barriers?

The military secret to building unbreakable teams – 23:26
What do elite special forces do to forge bonds among teams to ensure mission success in life or death situations?

The only Green Beret to return to active duty without a leg – 27:27
How did Nick Lavery lose a leg and return to active duty as the only Green Beret with an above-knee amputation?

The moment he rejoined his band of brothers – 46:15
What was it like for Nick to finally rejoin his team of Green Berets?
The 3 reasons soldiers crave the chaos of war when they’re away from the battlefield

The key to building relationships that most people overlook – 1:01:30
What do most people not do when they’re trying to build new relationships?
How do you crush self-doubt like the elite special forces?

Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth.

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Secret to Being Memorable and Finding Your Passion | Toolbox Oct 16, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover the value of pursuing your passions with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.

You’ve heard people tell you to follow your passions, but how do you define a passion, how do you combine your passions to create a unique skill set that sets you apart in your industry, and how do you share your passions with people to strengthen your network and friendships?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the most relevant definition of passion?
What is the opposite Dunning-Kruger effect and how do you overcome it?

Inspire people with your passion – 11:55
How do you bring your passions and interests into conversation to deepen your connections even when the people you’re talking to don’t share your passions and interests?
What’s the secret to mastering any skill?

Forge the unique passion skillset no one else has – 20:20
How do you combine your interests and passions to set yourself apart from 90% of people in your industry?

Leverage your passions to squeeze the most out of life – 32:27
How do you use your passions to define your purpose and craft goals that sling shot you toward your dreams?

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Elite Relationship Building Strategies to Grow Your Social Capital | Toolbox Oct 09, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover building relationships with Geoffrey Cohen, Dr Carole Robin, Colin Coggins and Garrett Brown, David Siegel, and Susan McPherson. Geoffrey Cohen is a professor and the author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. Dr Carole Robin teaches a legendary course called Interpersonal Dynamics at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Colin Coggins and Garrett Brown are the authors of The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell. David Siegel is the CEO of MeetUp. Susan McPherson is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Business Relationships.

Relationships are one of the most important factors in your happiness, fulfillment, and success, but how do you build exceptional relationships that actually last, what is the real problem with building relationships and how do you overcome it, and what is the secret to turning acquaintances into real friends?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What is the secret to building lifelong friendships and relationships?
How do you come across as authentic when meeting new people so they don’t think you’re manipulative or deceptive?

The mindset you need to be successful in relationships – 13:37
What mindset shift do you need in order to be successful in relationships?
How do you develop resilience so the inevitable road bumps in life don’t crush you?
How do you reframe rejection so you embrace it rather than avoid it?

The ultimate strategy for making friends with like-minded people – 24:26
Where is the best place to meet people you want to build lasting friendships with?
How do you build an epic social circle from scratch no matter where you live?

The 3-step networking strategy 90% of people will never implement – 36:33
What simple pattern can you implement in any networking event to make connections with anyone you want?

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Create the OUTCOME You Want | A Conversation with Shane Parrish | Art of Charm Oct 02, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover the art of decision making with Shane Parrish. Shane is an expert on mental models and frameworks for effective decision-making, a former intelligence officer, founder of Farnam Street (the world’s most read blog on clear thinking), and the author of Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results.

Every day is filled with countless decisions you don’t think twice about, but those little decisions have a larger impact than the “life-changing” decisions you spend days, weeks, or months contemplating, so what is the secret to ensure those everyday decisions you make are not pulling you away from the life you want, what 4 psychological traps must you avoid to make the best decisions, and what rituals can you put into place to propel you toward the life you want?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How to use the small everyday decisions to get ahead of everyone worrying about the big “life-changing” decisions?
What is more important than doing your best?

Rules for success that 90% of people never follow – 15:05
How do you ensure you only make the best decisions in stressful or high pressure situations?

How to love doing something you hate – 27:47
What systematic routine can you implement to turn any task into one you look forward to and excel at?
What mental trick can you use to achieve any goal you set for yourself?

Are you chasing the right goals? – 39:51
How can you know if you’re chasing the goals YOU want for yourself or if you’re chasing the goals OTHERs want for you that you have internalized as your goals that you will later regret wasting your life in pursuit of?
What proven template can you use to learn from every mistake you make and have made?

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Making Friends As a Lone Wolf | Toolbox | Art of Charm Sep 25, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover how to make friends with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.

It is an unfortunate statistic that we lose friends as we get older, but why does that happen, what can you do to make and maintain friendships that last a lifetime, what are the 3 traits you need to be the friend everyone wants, and proven system can you implement tomorrow to attract dynamic high value people into your life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Why do you have fewer friends today than you did 10 or 20 years ago and what can you do to rebuild friendships you’ve lost?

Make dynamic high value friends that turbocharge your life – 10:05
What can you do to find and build friendships with high value people who share your values and interests?

3 steps to be the rock star of your social circle – 20:38
What 3 traits do you need to master to be the guy (or girl) everyone wants to be around?
How do you pinpoint the valuable social capital you bring to friendships so you can leverage it to accelerate the building of future friendships?

Build rock solid friendships effectively and efficiently – 38:46
How many hours does it take to build friendships that last a lifetime?
What is the most effective AND efficient strategy to funnel the best prospects for friendship into your life so you don’t waste time getting to know people who don’t meet your standards?

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Breakthrough Mediocrity To Greatness With These 4 Strategies | Adam Alter Sep 18, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover getting unstuck with Adam Alter. Adam is a renowned academic and speaker known for his work in marketing and psychology, the New York Times bestselling author of Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked and Drunk Tank Pink: And Other Unexpected Forces That Shape How We Think, Feel, and Behave. His newest book is Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most.

It can feel crippling to get stuck in life and not know how to move forward, so what psychological traps keep you stuck and how do you avoid them, how do you manage your emotions so you don’t waste time staying stuck longer than necessary, and what can you do to create a hot streak every time you get unstuck?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
How can you recognize when you get stuck so you don’t waste your life away?
What is the secret Lionel Messi uses to overcome his performance anxiety?

Your mind is tricking you into staying stuck – 16:42
What are the psychological traps that keep you stuck in life and how do you avoid them or get out of them?

Managing your emotions to get unstuck – 27:10
How do your emotions help you or hinder you when it comes to feeling stuck in life and how do you deal with them?

Fishy life lessons – 39:25
What can we learn from specific fish about the value of patience and always trying to be first?
How do you use failure to get unstuck?

Creating your own hot streak – 44:16
What can you do to create a hot streak of success in your career regardless of where you are in life?

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art & Science Of Getting Happier | Arthur C Brooks Sep 11, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover the 4 pillars of happiness with Arthur C Brooks. Arthur is the best selling author of 12 books on topics ranging from economic opportunity to human happiness, and his newest book Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier that he co-wrote with Oprah Winfrey.

Happiness is a feeling anyone can cultivate but one that is increasingly difficult in a tech-centric world, so what is the best way to manage your emotions to achieve happiness and success, why are extroverts happier than introverts and what can you do to decrease your unhappiness as an introvert, and what is the difference between pleasure and enjoyment that most people don’t know even though it makes the difference between fulfillment and loneliness?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
When is intolerance and hatred necessary?
Why do humans crave social interaction with family and friends?

The secret to happiness – 14:08
What is the key to increasing your happiness no matter what is going on in your life?
How do you manage envy so it doesn’t prevent you from being happy?

Why you need to feel unhappy – 24:08
Why is unhappiness just as important as happiness when it comes to managing your mood from day to day?
What are the 4 pillars of happiness?
What is the most important thing loners need to understand if they want to be happy in their solitude?

Real Friends vs Deal Friends – 37:00
What are the two types of friends we all have and which group contributes to your loneliness?
What are the 5 challenges we face in building strong and healthy relationships?

The right choices to build relationships – 50:36
What two things should you be focusing on to build lifelong relationships with friends, family, and your significant other?
What is the neurochemical difference between pleasure and enjoyment and why does one make you feel empty and lonely?

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Truth About Your Happiness and How To Boost It Sep 04, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with 4 of the world’s leading experts on the topic: Arthur C. Brooks, Dr. Robert Waldinger, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, and Christoph Schnedlitz.

Happiness and purpose make a life worth living, but what factors contribute to and take away from your ability to be happy, what role do relationships play in your happiness, and how do you build happiness that doesn’t depend on what’s happening in your life?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
Who are the world’s leading experts on happiness?

Building Happiness – 3:50
What simple question can you ask yourself to build life-changing happiness?

Success Addiction – 12:00
How do you get addicted to success and what can you do to break the addiction?

Harvard Happiness Study – 14:24
What is the Harvard Happiness Study and what can you learn from the results to foster happiness in your life?

Social Media and Happiness – 24:25
How does social media affect global happiness and what can you do to protect yourself from its effects?

Relationships and Happiness – 29:02
How much do your relationships influence your lifetime happiness?
What can you do to maintain the relationships in your life that bring you happiness?
What are the biggest happiness myths?

The 3 Happiness Skills – 40:35
What skills should you work on to build resilient happiness?
Why is boredom an important component of happiness?

Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else.

Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Avoid These 3 Conversation Pitfalls For Masterful Communication | Toolbox Aug 28, 2023

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover the 3 pillars of powerful communication with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.

Humans are social creatures and history has taught us that powerful communication can help anyone achieve any goal we have in life, but what are the 3 pillars of powerful communication, how can you strengthen each one, and what are you risking by never becoming a powerful communicator?

What to Listen For

First pillar of powerful communication – 0:00
What is the difference between hearing what someone is telling you vs actively listening to someone?
What are the 3 layers of listening you need to understand so the people around you feel like they are important to you?
What is the crucial skill you are missing to get ahead professionally, personally, and romantically?

Second pillar of powerful communication – 22:17
What is the biggest pitfall you make in conversation that can kill a connection and make people not want to talk to you?
How do you give people value in a conversation so they want to know more about you and spend more time with you?

Third pillar of powerful communication – 35:53
What is the one thing you should pay attention to if you don’t want your friendships, relationships, or even your marriage to fail?
What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize each of the 9 types in conversation so you can build long lasting connections with anyone you meet?

A Word From Our Sponsors

Curious about your influence level?

Get your Influence Index Score today!

Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you?

That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone?

Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Questions To Work With “Almost” Anyone | Michael Bungay Stanier Aug 21, 2023

Show notes

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.

Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.

Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.

Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.

Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.

In today’s episode, we cover relationship building and repairing with Michael Bungay Stanier. Michael is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company, and the author of several books including his bestseller The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever and his newest title How to Work with (Almost) Anyone: Five Questions for Building the Best Possible Relationships.

Relationships are not easy to maintain and the best relationships take work, so how do you build the best relationships, what can you do to repair broken relationships, and how do you know you should just walk away?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the negative impacts of not having psychological safety in the workplace?
Why is it important to seek relationships that go beyond safety?
What questions can you ask so you can work with almost anyone?