The Art of Charm

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Dr. Stan Beecham | How to Build Belief Systems that Lead You to Success Aug 10, 2020

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover belief systems with Dr. Stan Beecham. Dr. Beecham is a sport psychologist, the director and founding member of the Leadership Resource Center, and the author of Elite Minds: How Winners Think Differently to Create a Competitive Edge and Maximize Success.

Beliefs define how we think about ourselves and the world around us, so what can you do to examine your own beliefs and understand if they are leading you to a better life or a worse one, and how can you change your beliefs if you realize they’re leading you down the wrong path?

What to Listen For

What questions can you ask yourself to better understand your beliefs and values and how they influence your behavior?
Why is it important to the people around you for you to work on yourself and constantly strive to be better?
Why is happiness the wrong goal to aim for if you want a fulfilling life, and what should you aim for instead?
Why is it important to examine your values and beliefs?
How do your beliefs and values influence your ability to pay attention and how will they prevent you from seeing a reality that will lead you to fail?
How do you rewrite the beliefs that are holding you back so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities to be successful and lead a fulfilling life?
How should we perceive confidence in a way that allows us to be more confident?
What can you do to overcome the urge to compare yourself to others?

What you believe influences how you perceive the world around you and what you get out of life. If you want to live a better life, achieve more success, or become the best version of yourself, it’s critical that you understand what you believe and why you believe what you believe. Going through life without an understanding of your beliefs and values is like wandering through a forest with a compass without understanding what north, south, east, and west are. Sure, you can follow the arrow on the compass because that seems normal, but will that get you to where you want to be? Only by sheer luck.

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Resources from this Episode

Elite Minds by Dr. Beecham

Dr. Beecham on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Charles Duhigg | Why You Need a Quarantine Routine Aug 03, 2020

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover the necessity of routines with Charles Duhigg. Charles is a Pulitzer-prize winning American journalist and non-fiction author, was a reporter for The New York Times, and has authored two books on habits and productivity, titled The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business and Smarter Faster Better.

Routines are more important than we give them credit for, but why, what happens if we don’t establish routines for ourselves, and how can you build a great routine even when your world has been turned upside down?

What to Listen For

Why are routines so important for humans?
What questions can you ask to spark interesting conversations instead of small talk?
How can you consume entertainment in a way that nurtures your creativity and ability to lead interesting conversations?
What can you do to find and identify experts you can trust?
How do you distinguish between someone who is genuinely seeking advice and someone who is just venting?
Why is mindset important when it comes to learning new skills?
What exercise can you start doing today if you are struggling with accepting painful events in your life?
What can you do to develop empathy and why is empathy so important today?

The word “routine” may evoke thoughts of mundaneness, or mindless repetition, but routines are incredibly important to us as humans. Routines allow us to remove the necessity of making difficult decisions by automating them. Going to the gym stops being about dragging yourself out the door and instead becomes the thing you do every morning because it’s your routine. Eating a healthy meal for lunch stops being a choice in suffering and instead becomes the part of your routine that leads to a healthier you and prevents you from giving in to cravings. Routines are important, and positive healthy routines are the key to supporting you on your path to living the life you dream of.

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Resources from this Episode

How To! - a podcast hosted by Charles Duhigg

Charles Duhig’s website

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

Smarter Faster Better by Charles Duhigg

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Alexandra Jamieson’s website

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Bob Gower and Alexandra Jamieson | The Art of Flexible Boundaries Jul 27, 2020

Show notes

In today’s episode, we answer your questions and cover the All In Method with Alexandra Jamieson and Bob Gower. Alexandra is the bestselling author of five books, and co-creator / co-star of the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me, and Bob is a New York-based consultant, writer, and speaker.

All of us have different values and beliefs guiding us through life, and the differences between two people can lead to damaging friction if they are not dealt with directly, so what can you do to get everyone on the same page and working toward a common goal while respecting each other?

What to Listen For

What is the All In Method (AIM) and how can you use it to maintain and strengthen your relationships, especially with those you work with?
What questions can you ask yourself and others to develop more empathy and strengthen relationships with those you care about or work with?
What is the value of boundaries and how do you start a conversation about your boundaries?
Why can being rigid with your boundaries lead to worse outcomes than having no boundaries?
What are the common pitfalls that teams run into when trying to reach alignment?
What can examining our boundaries teach us about ourselves and the relationships we form with others?
What can you do as a parent to help your children break out of their shell so their lack of social skills don’t lead to constant failure and disappointment?
How do you express curiosity in conversations with people you’re not genuinely interested in getting to know?
Should you write down questions before going into an important interview or date or even an appointment?

The more time we spend with other people, the more likely it is that differences in personalities, values, and beliefs will lead to conflict. If that friction is not taken care of, it can destroy relationships professionally and personally. It is best to be proactive about potential problems rather than reactive, as being reactive can often mean being too late to solve a problem. And being proactive means being willing to have conversations that aren’t always easy or comfortable.

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Resources from this Episode

Radical Alignment by Alexandra Jamieson and Bob Gower

Bob Gower’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Steve Herz | Why Critical Feedback is Important and How to Ask for It Jul 20, 2020

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover critical feedback and how to ask for it with Steve Herz. Steve is President of The Montag Group, a sports and entertainment talent and marketing consultancy, and a career advisor to CEOs, lawyers, entrepreneurs, and young professionals.

Critical feedback is important for our growth, but asking for it and receiving it can be challenging because people who care about us are generally hesitant to tell us anything negative about ourselves, so what can we do to get the feedback we need to improve?

What to Listen For

Why is critical feedback important to our growth and success, and how can we get better at receiving it?
What can you do to get the feedback you need to grow in a culture where people seem to coddle each other out of fear of how you might respond to critical feedback?
How do you ask for feedback in such a way that allows people to feel comfortable offering critical feedback rather than just saying something to make you feel good?
How much of your success is determined by your proficiency versus your ability to connect with others?
What steps can you take today to improve your ability to effectively communicate and connect with others so you don’t get passed up on job opportunities and promotions?
What is the 360 review and how can it save you from ending up in terrible situations?
Why is warmth important in building relationships and why can your aversion to it lead to failure in life?
What can you do to work on your humility?
How do energy and warmth work together when you are interacting with others, and what can you do to improve both while staying true to who you are?

Critical feedback is important because you only have your perspective on what you are doing. So if you are always doing something incorrect while you believe it to be correct, how are you going to correct what you’re doing wrong if no one tells you. Unfortunately, the people who know us best will likely be hesitant to tell us when we’re doing something wrong out of fear of confrontation, or hurting our feelings, or just wanting to avoid a potentially awkward situation. This means we must make it easy and comfortable for the people who care about us to give us the feedback we need to be our best selves.

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Resources from this Episode

Don’t Take Yes for an Answer by Steve Herz

Steve Herz’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Dr. Gervais | The Art of Self-Mastery and Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be Jul 13, 2020

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover what it means to achieve mastery of a subject or skill with Dr. Michael Gervais, a high performance psychologist working in the trenches of high-stakes environments with some of the best in the world, training the mindset skills and practices essential to pursuing and revealing one’s potential

Mastering anything takes some talent, but it also takes consistent practice and a persistent mindset, so what can you do to cultivate the mindset required for mastery, what do you need to push through the pain along the way, and how can comparing your journey to others stop you from achieving your potential?

What to Listen For

What does it mean to achieve mastery of a skill or subject, and why can comparing our progress to others hinder our ability to achieve mastery?
Why is it important for your mental and physical well being to live in the present moment?
What steps can you take today to make sure you are focused on the present so you don’t get depressed about the past or anxious about the future?
How important is your mindset if you already have talent and skill?
How can you use self-talk to build your confidence so you feel comfortable taking on new challenges?
What can you do to eliminate the self doubt that comes from comparing yourself to others?
What question can you ask yourself to make sure you’re trying to get better rather than comparing your progress to others?
How do you sort through conflicting advice on your way to mastering something?
What can we do to let go of who we are now in order to become who we’re meant to be?

Everyone is born with varying levels of aptitude in different areas, but just because you don’t have the genetics to be the best in the world at something, it doesn’t mean you can’t strive to master it. Mastery of a skill takes time, and if you didn’t win the genetic lottery, it’s going to take years of hard work. In order to push through the pain and suffering along the way, your mindset is as critical as your purpose, because if you don’t have a purpose guiding your mindset through the pain, the pain will win.

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Resources from this Episode

Compete to Create

Finding Mastery - a podcast hosted by Dr. Gervais

Dr. Gervais on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Keith Ferrazzi | The Art of Strength and Vulnerability in Leadership Jul 06, 2020

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover with Keith Ferrazzi what it means to lead without authority. Keith is an American entrepreneur, recognized global thought leader in the relational and collaborative sciences, and NYT best selling author of Leading Without Authority and Never Eat Alone.

There is more to leadership than telling other people what to do, so what does it mean to lead without authority, what can you do today to become a better leader, and how can you inspire vulnerability and empathy in the people around you?

What to Listen For

What can you do as a leader to create a great space for people to be vulnerable, therefore allowing stronger bonds to form?
Why are intimacy and empathy crucial to forming strong bonds with the people around you and what can you do to foster such an environment?
How much vulnerability is too much when you’re in a position of leadership?
What does co-elevation mean and why is it important to have co-elevating relationships with the people around us?
How do you set boundaries for your generosity so you don’t get taken advantage of?
What is the Blue Flame in all of us and why is it important to see it in others and nurture it so it can bloom?

Being a leader doesn’t mean you tell other people what to do. It means you inspire those around you who then choose to follow you. When you are a leader, people should trust you to provide guidance for them and make the best decisions given the circumstances. You do not need to have authority over other humans in order to do any of that - but you do need trust and respect. Work on building strong relationships with the people around you and you will become a better leader.

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Resources from this Episode

Leading Without Authority by Keith Ferrazzi

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

Keith Ferrazzi’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Pivot & Go: The 29-Day Blueprint to Redefine and Achieve YOUR Success

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David Nurse | 7 Steps to Unshakable Confidence Jun 29, 2020

Show notes

In today’s episode, we cover the 7 steps to unshakable confidence with David Nurse. David is an NBA life and optimization coach, future bestselling author, and worldwide motivational speaker.

Confidence can be developed with consistent practice like any other skill, but what concrete steps can you take everyday to achieve the confidence you’ve always wanted?

What to Listen For

What is the common denominator of professional athletes that lead to success?
Can you compare yourself to others in a healthy and positive way?
How do you get people to be good teammates if they’re more concerned about themselves or their ego?
What are the 7 steps you can take to achieve unshakable confidence?
What does it mean to vote for yourself and why should you start voting for yourself now?
What can you do to remind yourself of your potential to keep you from wasting time and falling into stagnation?
What tips can you use to make your mornings and evenings effective parts of your day?
How do you rewire your brain for the behavior you want, so your behavior doesn’t sabotage your relationships, your work, and your life?

Confidence is not something we are born with, but a skill we develop over time. That means no matter your circumstances, you have a certain level of confidence and you can apply consistent practice over time to increase it. In fact, you can take small steps every day, and after enough small steps, you’ll have made leaps in progress. But you must be consistent and keep reminding yourself that no matter how confident you are, there is always room for improvement, so arrogance is never acceptable, as arrogance implies you already know everything you need to know.

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Resources from this Episode

David Nurse’s website

David Nurse on Twitter

David Nurse on Instagram

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Patrick McGinnis’s website

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Patrick McGinnis | The Art of Overcoming FOMO Jun 22, 2020

Show notes

In today’s episode, we answer your questions and cover FOMO with the person who coined the term, Patrick McGinnis. Patrick is a venture capitalist, writer, and speaker who coined the term FOMO, which was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2013.

FOMO is nothing new but it seems worse now that we have endless options at our fingertips via the internet and social media, so how can we minimize the negative impacts of it and even turn it around and use it to help us make better decisions?

What to Listen For

What is FOMO and how does it challenge you when it comes to making small and big decisions?
Does FOMO subside as we age?
How has the COVID pandemic impacted our FOMO and will it be better or worse after pandemic passes?
What does FOBO mean and how is it different from FOMO?
Why is FOMO good for us and how do you prevent it from ruining your ability to enjoy life?
When faced with a big decision and heavy FOMO, what can you do to make the best decision for your future without regretting the other options?
What can you do to make time for self-development if you feel your days are consumed by other responsibilities and obligations?
What is FOGO and why is it so relevant right now?

The fear of missing out is nothing new, but with the evolution of the internet and social media, it can be crippling to many people who don’t live an intentional life inline with their values. If you’re always on the lookout for “THE BEST THING” then your life will be a constant cycle of dipping your toes in the water without committing to jumping in, and while dipping your toes in water can be refreshing, you are missing out on actually being in the water, getting better at swimming, making long lasting friendships, so on and so forth. The key is to figure out what you stand for and what you want out of life, so you can make simple and complex decisions without stressing too much over whether or not it’s “THE BEST” decision.

A Word From Our Sponsors

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Resources from this Episode

Fomosapiens - podcast hosted by Patrick McGinnis

The 10% Entrepreneur - by Patrick McGinnis

Fear of Missing Out - by Patrick McGinnis

Check in with AJ and Johnny!