The Art of Charm

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351: Jon Levy |The Influencers Dinner Dec 10, 2014

Show notes

Create your own influential network. "Just start something. Test something out, let it fail and let it fail often."-Jon Levy The Cheat Sheet: The statistical impact your friendships have on you. What are the two types of epidemics? The ninja strategy for following up by email. How to invite people from all backgrounds and walks of life. Why people like you even more if you ask them for a favor.. And so much more... What would it be like to have an Olympic athlete, an Oscar-winning actor and a CEO of a billion-dollar company at your dining room table? How could you create an event to bring them together and make them want to share a meal with you? Our guest for episode 351 did just that. Jon Levy runs an event called The Influencers Dinner in his home in New York. On today's episode he shares the origins of his idea, how he executed it to become the successful experience it is and how you can apply the same principles to create a similar event of your own. Join us for all of that and more on episode 351 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Jon Levy is a behavior expert, digital strategist and keynote speaker, but what is probably best known for is dinner. If you're lucky enough to get an invite to one of his exclusive dinners you're bound to have an amazing time with some of the most influential people in the world. He's had members of royal families attend, Nobel Laureates, famous actors, musicians, artists and some of the top leaders in every industry from around the globe. So what's his secret? Did he have an amazing Rolodex and just decided to gather people together at his place? Not at all. About six years ago he attended a seminar with Landmark Education and something the seminar leader said struck a chord within him. The leader said the quality of our lives is largely determined by the people we spend our time with and the conversations we have. These two things are the fundamental elements that impact who we are and where we go with our lives. Jon realized he wanted to connect with the greatest influencers he could, but how? At the time he was 28 and working for a start-up, he wasn't anyone who could get a phone call (much less a dinner) with the heads of state or Olympic medal winners. He spent the next year ruminating over how to create so much value for these people that they would make time in their already hectic schedules. He knew whatever he created needed to be so novel they would say yes. He eventually thought of having people over for dinner. He knew a group activity like cooking together would bond them quickly, and sharing food and conversation would cement that bond. Here's the novel part of the event: no one knows each other and each person is a leader from a different industry. They are not allowed to talk about what they do, they can only use their first names and if they are famous they must assume a different first name. Then over dinner the guests will guess what each of the attendees does for a living, only then can the guest reveal who they are! Since his first dinner Jon has since held 36 more and The Influencers Dinner has grown to be legendary. It's been featured in Forbes, The New York-Times and has been the catalyst behind millions of dollars done in business deals, publicity and press coverage for the attendees, multiple non-profits and even some romantic relationships. But Jon is the first to admit he overcame many hurdles and made plenty of mistakes along the way. He says he has embarrassed himself more times than not, failed countless times and had to learn many lessons the hard way. But it's all been worth it. In his words, "it takes a long time to become an overnight success". If you're in the same position Jon was when he first had the idea, what are some practical steps you can take to get going and create your own variation of The Influencers Dinner? Jon's first suggestion is to create novelty. Find something unique you can offer your guests that no one else does. Do you love games? Then do a game night and spend some time sorting out how to structure the evening so your guests enjoy themselves and you add value to their lives. That's another key point Jon makes: be sure you do something that is true to your core values. Remember this is going to be an event you're hosting for years to come so make it fun, make it enjoyable and make it something you already like doing. If it's not games, then how about a wine tasting or a mixology night? Again put some thought into this and be sure the event and activity you are hosting is true to you. One last suggestion Jon has is to spend a lot of time coming up with the idea. It took him a full year to come up with the dinner party idea! And he cautions about following in his footsteps with the dinner party: they get expensive (he spent $30k on his last year alone) so consider other alternatives before going down that road, unless you're willing to fork out the money. Jon recommends giving your idea a lot of consideration, there are plenty of other viable and equally fun alternatives to a dinner party. Jon also discusses some of the basic etiquette he follows in inviting people and for the event itself, suggestions you'll want to bear in mind as you create your own version of The Influencers Dinner. This is a fascinating topic so be sure to listen in and get all the golden nuggets! Thank you for listening and we'll see you next time. THANKS JON LEVY! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Jon know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Jon on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Jon Levy's web siteThe Forbes article on Jon's dinnersJon Levy on Twitter John Corcoran on The AOCAdam Grant on The AOC You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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350: Steve Sisler | How to Read People Dec 08, 2014

Show notes

Steve Sisler (@stevesisler) explains how to adjust your style to connect. "We don't see people as they are, we see people as we are."-Steve Sisler The Cheat Sheet: The three reasons people listen. How much of communication is verbal, how much body language? What behavioral profile do nurses most often fit? Why meek does not equal weak. The secret to saying anything to anyone, Steve reveals. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/steve-sisler-read-people-episode-350/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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349: John Lee Dumas | Entrepreneur on Fire Dec 05, 2014

Show notes

Sometimes, it takes courage to quit. "If you want to be you have to do."-John Lee Dumas The Cheat Sheet: What was his first real train wreck in his life? Why quitting isn't just for quitters. Is luck part of the success equation according to John? How much of a runway did he give himself when he started his podcast? The impostor syndrome: what it is and how it almost crushed John. And so much more... Do you think it takes courage to quit something, or do you believe quitting is never justified? One of the most successful podcasters in the world had to quit time after time after time in order to achieve the level of success he has today. John Lee Dumas, the mastermind behind Entrepreneur on Fire and Podcaster's Paradise, joins us to talk about how he found the courage to quit throughout his 20s and the success that brought him in his 30s. Listen in for all of that and so much more on episode 349 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: We live in a culture that glorifies 18-hour workdays, even if you're in a job or running a business you hate. There is no room at the top for quitters, that's long been the motto held by many. But is any of that really true or is it ok for you to quit until you find your thing? Turning the "quitting is only for quitters" paradigm on its head is our guest for episode 349, Mr. John Lee Dumas. If this is the only podcast you listen to then you may not have heard of him. But if you know anything about the podcasting world you know this guy is a phenom. He's the ringleader of Entrepreneur on Fire (or EOFire for short), a daily podcast getting millions of downloads and today earning him a seven-figure income. But just a few short years ago, John was struggling...really struggling. He had given up on law school after one semester, quit the corporate finance world after a few short years, and ended a brief run in commercial real estate. And John did not come from a family of quitters, he was not raised to quit anything. He was raised to give it his all and to know he'd succeed. All of the "quitting" began after John spent four years in the Army. He went to college on an Army ROTC scholarship, part of which required him to serve for four years after. When he originally signed on the dotted line in the late 90s we were a country at peace. And then 9/11 happened. The day the US was attacked was the beginning of John's senior year of college. He was concerned, of course everyone was at the time, but it wasn't until January of the following year that he understood he'd be going into a full conflict combat zone in Iraq. He was an Army tank leader and lead 16 men on a tour there through some of the bloodiest battles in that war. Losing four of his men really shifted John's perspective. He promised himself his life would make a difference and he would fulfill on promises these men would never have the chance to. He vowed to never settle for less than what he thought he was capable of. That vow and that promise were the reasons John explored and quit so many avenues after finishing in the armed forces. He left law school after one semester, even though he knew on his first day that it wasn't for him. He tried several other career paths, but nothing was "it" and he knew it. But one day while driving to work he ran out of podcasts to listen to. At the time he was in commercial real estate and was traveling a lot so while in his car he listened to inspirational and educational podcasts. And then it hit him: he would create and produce a daily podcast! No one else was so why not him? Feeling like he had found "it", John went full speed ahead into podcasting creation mode. From there EOFire was born. That's not to say it was all sunshine and roses, not even close. Because he had no college debt, John lived prudently and had saved over $100k. He used that money as his runway, and he needed it. EOFire didn't make any money for the first nine months. But he stuck it out, he honed his craft and continued (and still continues) to learn along the way. As he got better his numbers got bigger and his reach grew. With that advertisers came calling and opportunities presented themselves, like his mastermind group Podcaster's Paradise. Today he runs a thriving podcast that garners millions of downloads and is set to earn him well into the seven figure mark in 2015. And his lesson from all of this? Quit until you make it! We talk about so much on this episode, including how to know when to quit, how to know if your side project can be a full-on business and how to find a great mentor and mastermind group. John wanted to thank all of you for listening so he's given you the gift of his Podcast Launch book, for free right here. You don't even have to give your email address, it's completely free. John and I both thank you for being here, and we'll see you next time. THANKS JOHN LEE DUMAS! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let John know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank John on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Entrepreneur on FireJohn Lee Dumas on TwitterPodcast Launch, John Lee Dumas' book - free for you! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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348: Mike Michalowicz | Profit First Dec 03, 2014

Show notes

Be a boss and automate your savings. "Money amplifies our true self."-Mike Michalowicz The Cheat Sheet: What is Parkinson's Theory? ____ makes us lazy, Mike fills in the blank. Money has now become a mechanism for what? What is The Wedge and how do you apply it for a better life? How to and why to start saving money, no matter how much or how little you make. And so much more... Do you always tell yourself you'll save more when you make more money? Or maybe you did say that in the past but now you actually make more and still don't feel like you have enough to start saving. Here with solutions to both situations is the author of several books including Profit First, Mr. Mike Michalowicz. Mike has written extensively about profits, making money and entrepreneurship. But even if you don't have a business or you don't consider yourself an entrepreneur, this show is for you. Today we talk about putting profit first and expenses second, whatever your financial situation. Listen in for all of that and so much more on episode 348 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: By the time he was 35 Mike Michalowicz was a millionaire. He had sold his second business for mucho dinero and he was awfully proud of himself. Too proud in fact, something he readily admits caused his next missteps. After finding himself with boatloads of cash he decided to be an angel investor. He thought that's what everyone does after they make a million - they invest in other businesses, show those businesses how to make millions and then earn billions as a result of their investment. That was his plan, and it completely backfired. He didn't use common sense regarding the companies he chose and he paid the price for it. He paid the FULL price for it. Between his bad investments and his need to flash his money around with expensive cars, toys, etc, he lost all of his earnings. So after a "Come to Jesus" moment, he went back to the drawing board of entrepreneurship with a different mindset. Instead of asking how he could make money and how much, he asked himself what was the right thing to do? His answer was to write The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur. Today it is a cult classic in the entrepreneurial and business worlds. From there he went on to write The Pumpkin Plan, another insta-classic and then his latest best-seller Profit First. His most recent book is what we spend a great deal of the show talking about today. He gives us a quick overview of what the book is about and how to incorporate the topic into our own finances. The nitty-gritty of Profit First is this: businesses who set aside a portion of their cashflow first as profits will be more profitable and lucrative in the long run than those who wait and see if there's anything left at the end of the fiscal year. It's all based around an idea called Parkinson's Theory, which (highly simplified) says you'll use up whatever is there no matter how great or small the amount. Whether it's toothpaste, toilet paper or money, you're going to use whatever amount you give yourself and make available to be consumed. So Mike's contention is that businesses and people alike should be taking a portion of funds out first (ie putting profit first) and dispensing them into accounts they cannot touch. If you are an entrepreneur, when you get paid set up your account to automatically withdraw a percentage and put it into a retirement fund. If you're employed talk to your employer about your 401(k); get it set up so it automatically deducts money before you even see your paycheck. Based on Parkinson's Theory you'll learn to live off the amount that's leftover. But if you don't automate this you won't do it, you'll end up spending all the money that's available to you. Even if it seems like you can't afford to set aside any money right now Mike says to start with 1% of your paycheck. If you make $1k a week, then have 1% taken out. It's only $10, you won't even notice. But over time that money will start to add up in your retirement fund and soon you'll have far more wealth than you thought you could accrue. This is a fairly watered-down version of Mike's teachings so tune in to hear the full details straight from the source! And after you do, thank Mike for being here and gracing us with his priceless knowledge. And thank yourselves for being here (I do) and we'll see you next time. THANKS MIKE MICHALOWICZ! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Mike know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Mike on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Mike Michalowicz's web siteMike Michalowicz on TwitterProfit First, Mike Michalowicz' latest bookThe Toilet Paper Entrepreneur, Mike Michalowicz' first book The Pumpkin Plan, Mike Michalowicz' second book You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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347: Oren Klaff | Pitch Anything Dec 01, 2014

Show notes

Be in charge, no matter what. "Tension is what holds people's attention."-Oren Klaff The Cheat Sheet: Why repoire-building doesn't work. The power of scarcity in any scenario. What do you need to convince people? How long is the average human attention span? What's the power frame and why does it matter? And so much more... Have you ever wondered how someone shifts the power of a situation into their own hands? Do you find yourself feeling like you're the low man on the totem pole in any (or maybe every) area of your life? Even if you answered no to both of those questions, you'll want to hear this episode with Oren Klaff author of Pitch Anything. Oren helps people sell companies for a living. And not just any company, we're talking deals in $200 million range. Think that's not relevant to you? It is. High stakes, pressure-filled situations like the ones he's in magnify the buying behaviors in all of us. Whether you're asking a girl out, requesting a raise or pitching for funding for your latest business, you'll want to know what he knows. Listen in for all of that and so much more on episode 347 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: On this episode with Oren Klaff he dispels a few myths about the buyer behavioral process. For example, do you think you need to build rapport with the person you're selling to? Nope, a waste of time and energy according to Oren. If you position yourself as the expert and authority on your service or product, and create a scarcity mentality in the buyer's mind you're well on your way. Let's look at how to raise your position to being a leader and an expert. Now bear in mind as we do this it'll be in a sales-type example, but if that doesn't apply to your job then reframe it to fit an area of your life where you do want better results (ie your relationships, your dating life). First off don't go into lengthy introductions at the beginning of your presentation. Your audience doesn't need to know about that mega-deal you did last year, they need to know your name and what you do currently. Keep the introductions brief, then get everyone's agreement to go full throttle into the presentation and discussion. When you do that, you're holding their attention. During your presentation keep it to 20 minutes or shorter, that is the absolute longest human beings can pay attention to anything in this type of setting. A person's attention span will not go longer than 20 minutes if you don't have their full buy in, such as in a sales setting. During those twenty minutes you'll be able to frame what you have to offer them, you'll be showing them why what you have is the best and why you are the expert. This is your chance to elevate your status with them and also make them feel comfortable in the buying process. As the clock winds down you will raise the stakes and create scarcity in their minds about working with you and your product or service. Oren gives specific wording on how to do this. At the heart of creating scarcity is this idea: what you have and what you provide expertise in is SO great that if your buyer doesn't get it, they will be diminished in some way. You must know that, believe it and feel it internally before you can create scarcity and tension during your pitch. On the topic of tension, Oren says this isn't something to avoid the way many of us do. Tension is what lets people know the stakes are high in this scenario. If you're talking to someone and there's no tension, they obviously don't value the topic you're talking about. If you're pitching something to them, they don't see the value in what you're pitching and they don't care if they get it or not. Without tension, the situation has no value. Naturally the amount of tension should be higher or lower depending on the scenario! Oren and I go into greater detail on how to pitch anything and each of the above-mentioned topics on today's show. Even if you aren't in sales in your job or your business you're going to want to hear what he has to say, it's all pretty darn valuable. Let's thank Oren for joining us and thank you for being here. We'll see you next time. THANKS OREN KLAFF! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Oren know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Oren on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Oren Klaff's web siteOren Klaff on TwitterPitch Anything, Oren Klaff's latest book You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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345: AoC Toolbox | Single Dads Nov 26, 2014

Show notes

How to have it all as a single dad. "You can be vulnerable, while still being confident."-Dave, single dad The Cheat Sheet: How to be confident AND vulnerable with everyone. Put an end to "Nice Guy Syndrome" once and for all. How to talk with your kids about anything. Reframing: how to apply it to everything from traffic to dating: How soon do you tell your date about your kids? And so much more… One of the most frequent questions I get asked comes from single dads, they want to know how to date now that they're fathers. So here to answer that question and to talk about the differences the live training Art of Charm programs have made in their lives are two single dads, Dave and Tom. Even if you aren't a dad this episode is beneficial for you; you'll hear from two graduates about what their lives were like before doing an AOC training and what their lives were like after. They talk candidly and frankly about themselves, fatherhood and the AOC programs. Join us for all of that and more on the 345th episode of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: As a listener of this show you most likely know we offer training programs, and if you haven't taken one yet you may be wondering if they're worth your time and effort. Rather than talking your ear off ourselves, we've brought in two alumni to share what their personal experiences were. Tom and Dave are both single dads who have taken some of our programs and they both faced similar difficulties before coming in: they weren't fully present with their kids, they had major difficulties in even talking with women, let alone dating and they generally were looking for better quality relationships than the ones they had. So despite the significant challenges they both signed up and participated in our live programs. On today's episode Dave shares first about his before and after. He says he was incredibly negative and angry all the time, especially with his ex-wife. He allowed her to "walk all over him" with their custodial arrangement of their daughter; she would be late when picking their daughter up after his visits, with no regard to the impact it was having on Dave. But Dave never said anything, he just reacted in a passive-aggressive manner which kept him in a negative, ticked off state around the clock. But after taking a course with the Art of Charm, Dave realized he needed to set and maintain better boundaries. And not just with ex, with every area of his life including work and his personal relationships. By doing small, simple things over a period of time he grew his confidence so he could set and maintain his boundaries. And he found the courage to have a vulnerable conversation with the mother of his child about how her actions were impacting his life. By being vulnerable with her, and doing it in a courageous way, they were able to calmly work out a better solution for everyone (especially their daughter). But that wasn't the only relationship that was positively impacted by Dave's newfound confidence. His relationship with his daughter changed for the better. He feels much more present when he's with her, he's able to give her his undivided attention and to be a strong, positive role model in her life. In response she has blossomed. She's become outgoing and now makes friends on her own, something she never did before. Tom has had a similar impact in his own life. As the single dad of a now-teenage boy, Tom was initially floored by his ex-wife's request for a divorce. Once he got over his shock and dismay they were able to have a healthy relationship and able to easily share custody of their boy. But Tom wasn't at all prepared to be a single dad. Before working with The AOC, Tom was consistently worried he wasn't being a good enough father for his son. He was concerned he wasn't living up to his full potential and wasn't being a good example for his boy. And he didn't feel like he could really talk, connect and bond with his son to the extent he wanted to. For Tom having a deeper relationship with his son was so important because it was something he never had with his dad, Tom wanted to break the cycle and really be there for his young son. Since participating in The AOC programs Tom is happy to report he and his son take many adventures together, and talk about everything even vulnerable and delicate subjects. Tom is more confident with his son and he's more confident in public, something his boy has noticed and even commented on. One thing they both agree on is they are now able to ask for what they want. They no longer act in passive-aggressive ways, they are clear in their communication with everyone from business partners and colleagues to the women they date. On the topic of dating they both feel far more confident in connecting and dating then they ever have before. Dave says before the program he had gotten 2 women's numbers in 4 years and now he could get 2 numbers just walking the down the street! And Tom had no clue about how to date after his divorce, but today he's learned how to chat with a woman and find out if she's someone he'd want to have a relationship with. Tom and Dave also discuss the impact these programs have had on their friendships and their general quality of life, have a listen to get the full download! This is a terrific episode for any of you who are single dads, might become fathers or have been thinking about signing up for one of our live training programs. Enjoy, thank you for listening and we'll see you next time. THANKS AOC! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let us know by clicking on the link below and sending a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank The AOC on Twitter! Resources from this episode: AOC live training programsThe AOC on Twitter Dr. Robert Glover on the No More Mr. Nice Guy episode of The AOC You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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BONUS: Tom Corley | Rich Kids Nov 25, 2014

Show notes

Author and financial advice favorite Tom Corley stops by to discuss his new book, "Rich Kids" and tell us how to teach our kids habits that will prepare them for success later in life. HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. Ways to subscribe to The Art of Charm Click here to subscribe via iTunes Click here to subscribe via RSS You can also subscribe via Stitcher FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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344: Shawn Achor | The Happiness Advantage Nov 24, 2014

Show notes

Happiness does make a difference. "Happiness is an incredible competitive advantage."-Shawn Achor The Cheat Sheet: Shawn gave a talk about happiness at the Pentagon: true or false? The science behind the contagiousness of happiness. The importance of mirror neurons explained. What is the 10-5 Way and how can it improve your life? At what point in her career was Oprah most depressed, and why should you care? And so much more... Is happiness a choice? And which comes first: happiness or success? Here to answer these questions is Shawn Achor, Ted Talk speaker, Harvard professor, positive psychology expert and author of The Happiness Advantage. Not only does he answer these questions (and more), he also provides the science to back up those answers. On this episode we'll discuss why happiness is such an advantage in every area of life, as well as some simple happiness hacks you can practice right now. Listen in for all of that and so much more on episode 344 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: Shawn Achor is the leading expert on positive psychology; he won over a dozen awards for his teaching at Harvard on this topic (his class was the most popular at the university), he's also written several best-selling books including The Happiness Advantage, has been featured in The Harvard Business Review and even had a two-hour interview with Oprah. But today's episode isn't about what he's done, it's about what his research has discovered about the happiness advantage, and why happiness matters. The first thing to address is his definition of happiness. It's not mere pleasure like the enjoyment of a good dessert or the like. Happiness is the joy you feel as you are growing into your full potential. With a definition like that, it's much easier to be an optimist. A study done with Metlife sales personnel as the subjects reflects the power of a positive attitude. They took two groups of people: in one group they hired optimists who scored low on the industry standard tests and in the other group they hired pessimists who scored high on the same tests. Within a year, the optimists had done 19% more in sales. Within 2 years they had done 57% more in sales! It's not just sales that are impacted by attitude and outlook, optimists are consistently found to be more attractive, more trustworthy, better liked and are more likely to receive promotions at work. And the people around the optimists are found to be happier as well. The link between optimists and those around them being happier could lie in the science of mirror neurons, a subject we've talked about on the show before. Put simply mirror neurons are those neurons in our brain that influence our bodies to respond as a reflection to what's happening around us. Shawn gives us another study to explain the mirror neuron phenomenon. At its core the research showed that if you are near someone who is anxious, you will start to feel anxious. If that person is tired, you'll feel tired. The same is true of happiness. Shawn also shares the brain functions that explain why happiness begets success, NOT the other way around. Achieving goals doesn't make us happier, because when we achieve those goals our brain automatically creates another goal or definition of success. Now that you've gotten that big promotion, your brain automatically redefines success as the next promotion, the next "get". So instead of focusing on achieving something to make you happy, embrace the definition of happiness Shawn gives and success will naturally follow. In fact, Shawn's research has shown that if you find ways of raising your optimism and happiness, EVERY area of your life will be more successful and your happiness will continually increase through your life making you happier and healthier. But if you pin your happiness to a specific goal or set of goals, your happiness levels will flatline. We got into greater detail on all of this and more in this episode of the show, and we wrap with 5 happiness hacks you can incorporate right now to bump up your optimism levels. Shawn says you don't have to do all five, just choosing one will make an impact. All five are simple, they vary from journaling to emailing to meditating, and only take a few minutes a day. To hear the five and the rest of our fascinating discussion, listen in to the full show. After you do please join me in thanking Shawn for sharing his positive outlook, his vast scientific knowledge and the practical application of that knowledge. Thank you for listening, I appreciate each and every one of you! We'll see you next time. THANKS SHAWN ACHOR! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Shawn know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Shawn on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Shawn Achor's web siteShawn Achor on TwitterThe Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor's latest book You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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342: Scott Dinsmore | Live Your Legend Nov 19, 2014

Show notes

Create real friendships with people you admire. "If you want to stand out just do what you say you will and kick ass at it." -Scott Dinsmore The Cheat Sheet: Why not to go to a networking event, and what to do instead. One awesome way to add value: Scott shares. The Ben Franklin Effect: what is it and how can you use it? Why to never accept the first salary offer you receive. The 3-second Rule that applies to every area of your life. And so much more... You've probably heard the idea that you become the sum of your five closest friends, it's something we've talked about on the show before. So what do you do if you want to change those five closest friends and you want to create new friends to become the sum of? Scott Dinsmore of Live Your Legend is here to answer those questions and more. Today we talk about how to reach out and connect with the greatest influencers in your life, and how to set the stage for potential friendships and real connection. Join us for the 342nd edition of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: As the founder of Live Your Legend (LYL) and Ted Talk presenter, Scott knows a few things about helping people find and express who they really are in the world. One of the keys to doing that, he's found, is connecting with the right people and surrounding yourself with your greatest allies. Originally LYL started out as career/business tools-type company but as Scott says in this episode, all the best tools in the world aren't going to do a thing for you if your friends are telling you're an idiot for using those tools. So he shifted gears and changed the focus of his organization. On today's show he shares the best practices for connecting and creating friendships with people you admire and people who are going to bring out the best in you. If you don't have those kinds of people in your life right now and you want to expand your social circle, Scott has advice for you. His first suggestion may seem counterintuitive, he says to not go to a networking event. Instead, take a look at the people in your life right now and see who you admire and inspires you, and then find someone who brings you down. This next week choice to trade out time with the energy vampire for the person you admire. If that person you admire is someone you know personally invite them to get together. Find some way to add value to them, obviously it's easier if they are already your friend you can simply ask them. But if you don't know them yet, do your research and find out what they may need help with right now. Always remember you do have something to offer to other people, even those who seem to have everything, you simply may have to find a creative way to help. It may be as simple as sharing with them what you're good at and then asking how you can apply your talents to help them. If you feel nervous about talking with them or initiating contact simply imagine they are your best friend, and you just haven't chatted yet. Scott gives us a great example of how he did this when a well-known blogger moved to his area. The blogger invited about 50 people to meet up and chat when he settled in. Scott knew he'd only have a minute or two to chat with the blogger, who had been very influential for him, so he wanted to make it count. Scott knew the blogger and his wife were vegans and he also knew the blogger was an avid runner. So he compiled a list of vegan restaurants in the area and a list of the best local running trails. He chatted with the blogger, thanked the man for being such an influence in his life and then handed him the suggestions he'd gathered. The blogger was so touched he invited Scott out for a run, that run led to the two becoming friends and running an ultra-marathon together. Whether or not you meet your new BFF this way, you can still apply the same principles. Find someone you admire and want to connect with, find out a need they have and find a way to fill it. They'll remember you, and will be very willing to interact with you in the future. Naturally there's plenty more in this episode with Scott so check it out to get the full scoop! Then join me in thanking him for being here and sharing his tremendous knowledge. He was an awesome guest and you're awesome for listening. Thanks and we'll see you next time! THANKS SCOTT DINSMORE! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Scott know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank Scott on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Live Your Legend's special gifts for AOC listenersScott Dinsmore's Ted TalkScott Dinsmore on Twitter Try Squarespace (for free) and support our supporters! You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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341: David Nihill | Comedy Habits to Become a Funnier Speaker Nov 17, 2014

Show notes

Humor connects you and your audience. "There's nobody more judged than a stand-up comedian."-Jerry Seinfeld The Cheat Sheet: How to have people talking about your speech after it ends, in a good way. 22 hours of work go into 1 minute of a 60-minute stand up comedy set: true or false? Are keynotes dead? The rule of 3 ('tree'): what is it and how to use it. What is rehearsed spontaneity? And so much more... Have you ever been in the audience for a speech so boring everyone around you stopped listening and starting doing other things? Is it your worst fear that someday YOU will be speaking and will be that dull? David Nihill is here to help us all be better public speakers through comedy. David is a comedian and public speaker who was once terrified of being in front of an audience! Hear how he went from a terrified public speaker to a stand up comedian killing it on stage, and all the applicable comedy habits he learned along the way. Join us for all of that and more on episode 341 of The Art of Charm. More About This Show: For many of us public speaking is our top fear, even greater than our fear dying. As the joke goes "We'd rather be IN the casket than giving the eulogy at a funeral." But if you're wanting to face that, or are in a position where you must face that fear, today's chat with David Nihill will give you some tools you can use to overcome your fear and give a great presentation. Not long ago David was rubbish at public speaking, he dropped far too many F bombs and was generally a nervous, sweaty mess. When one of his friends suffered a severe spinal cord injury David wanted to help raise funds. He suggested organizing a comedy show with top comedians as a fundraiser and the idea took off. The only glitch? David's friend insisted he give the opening speech, and David was petrified. Instead of backing down from the challenge, David emulated one of his mentors Tim Ferriss and rose to the occasion. He took a very Tim-like approach to the subjects of comedy and public speaking. He wanted to break down the best speeches and comedic routines to figure out how he could follow in their footsteps. Were there common processes for both? Did the two overlap and if they did, how could he fuse them together to make his opening speech funny and well-received at his friend's fundraiser? David went through a laborious and intensive study, and it paid off. His opening for the fundraiser was well-received, so much so that he was invited to open for a group of comedians at The Punch Line in San Francisco. And that opened a new door for him. Today he has performed comedy routines at some of the top comedy clubs in California, he held the first Funny Bizz conference in 2014 and has just published his first book 7 Comedy Habits to Be a Funnier Speaker. On today's show David explains a few of the many lessons he's learned about public speaking and comedy. The first topic we touch on is how to use humor in your presentations and speeches. Humor is the easiest way for others to relate to you, so use it early on in your speech to connect with your audience. If you're coming to their town learn something about the city you're in and use it humorously to show your audience you care about where they live and what their lives are like there. Humor also makes your speech or presentation memorable;it accomplishes this by breaking down barriers between you and them. If you can break down those barriers and make people laugh, they will remember you and will be talking about you long after you've finished speaking. All of that is well and good but how do you make people laugh? Is there a formula or a process we can take from comedy and apply to public speaking? There are several and we go into each of them on this episode; the one we'll discuss here is evaluating your performance. The best public speakers and the best comedians all evaluate themselves. Yes it's awkward, uncomfortable and unpleasant, but it is how anyone improves anything they do (especially public speaking and stand up comedy). So record yourself and dissect what you do, how you do it. Look at what worked, what didn't work, trim out everything you can and hone in on the good stuff. Get a coach to help you if you can. David dishes out other ways we can make our speeches and presentations funny and memorable including using the art of the callback and the rule of 3. So tune in to hear all of that and more, then join me in thanking him for the laughs and the learning. He was an awesome guest and you're awesome for listening. Thanks and we'll see you next time! THANKS DAVID NIHILL! If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let David know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter: Click here to thank David on Twitter! Resources from this episode: Funny BizzDavid Nihill's web site7 Comedy Habits to Become a Funnier SpeakerRobin Williams crashes TED BBC ConferenceDavid Nihill on Twitter You'll also like: -The Art of Charm Toolbox -Best of The Art of Charm Podcast Wanna leave a comment? Too bad! Email me instead (we read everything)! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dug this episode, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from all the fluff out there. FEEDBACK + PROMOTION Hit us up with your comments and guest suggestions. We read EVERYTHING. Download the FREE AoC app for iPhone Email jordan@theartofcharm.com Give us a call at 888.413.7177 Stay Charming!

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