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The Allender Center Podcast — Christianity
The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center Podcast features Dr. Dan Allender and his team engaging topics on healing and restoration through the unique intersection of theology and psychology. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join us to gain refreshing insight into understanding your story, handling relational struggles, recovering from trauma and abuse, and more.

The mission of The Allender Center is to help people tell their stories with awareness and integrity, and to train them to listen to the stories of others with care, artistry, and skill so that they may foster redemption and healing in their lives. The Allender Center is a pioneering organization committed to boldly engaging the impact of trauma and abuse, providing healing and teaching to individuals, couples, and communities, and training professionals to listen and enter into stories in a way that facilitates transformation and hope. For information on all our programs and live events, visit theallendercenter.org

Latest Episodes:

Living Theology Sep 26, 2025

Show notes

For many, theology brings to mind dusty bookshelves, abstract arguments, and rigid dogmas. But what if theology wasn't static? What if it could move, breathe, and shape the way we live, love, and lead in the world?

In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen are joined by Dr. Lauren D. Sawyer to talk about living theology—a way of engaging God and Scripture that doesn't stay confined to the context of books, a classroom, or even church, but instead has "feet" that walk into our everyday lives. Lauren shares about The Seattle School's new Certificate in Living Theology, a one-year online program designed to bring theology into conversation with psychology, culture, story, and community.

Together, they explore why theology is never neutral, how our contexts shape what we believe, and why listening and dialogue are as essential as doctrine. You'll hear how living theology is less about arriving at final answers and more about cultivating a faith that is reflective, embodied, and responsive to the complexities of our time.

If you've ever longed for a way of doing theology that feels deeply connected to life, justice, and relational depth, this conversation is an invitation to consider what it means for theology to truly come alive.

Learn more about the Certificate in Living Theology: theseattleschool.edu/programs/living-theology-certificate

Recovery Week Reflections Sep 19, 2025

Show notes

This episode engages the topic of abuse, particularly sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised.

Dr. Dan Allender and Linda Royster, LCMHC—two of the leaders of our Recovery Week experiences—come together to reflect on the heart and history of this sacred work.

Dan shares about the origins of Recovery Week in 1988, a gathering that began with a bold hope: that healing is possible for those carrying the wounds of childhood sexual abuse. Linda offers her own story of first encountering The Wounded Heart and the ways it opened her to the possibility of transformation.

Together, they invite us into a deeper understanding of what it means to hold both the personal and the collective—acknowledging that no one suffers in isolation, but always within systems and contexts that shape our stories. Linda speaks to the profound intersections of racial trauma and sexual abuse, and the complex layers of shame that can silence and fragment survivors.

Recovery Weeks create a space to move toward those particularities of the harm you've experienced—where you may want to freeze, minimize, or look away—and to take the courageous step of naming what is true. The goal is not to erase or resolve shame, but to walk through it, opening the way for transformation.

This conversation is an honoring of the decades of work poured into Recovery Weeks, and a heartfelt invitation: to those who come, your presence is already a profound act of courage. Our hope is that you might encounter a deeper healing that makes way for new life.

The Cost and Gift of Creativity in Relationships with John and Sue Cunningham Sep 12, 2025

Show notes

We are made in the image of a wildly creative God—and that means creativity lives in each of us. Yet, while it flows freely in childhood, many of us lose touch with it as adults, buried under busyness and productivity. What would it look like to recover creativity—not just for ourselves, but within our closest relationships?

This week, Dan and Becky Allender sit down with longtime friends John and Sue Cunningham, who are both creative in their own right. John is a potter, Sue is a poet, and together they've discovered both the beauty and the challenges of nurturing creativity in their marriage.

Their conversation explores:

The vulnerable (and sometimes costly) work of encouraging creativity in one another
How creativity can be both communal and connecting, and also deeply individual and isolating
The patience, generosity, and curiosity that can support your partner's creative passions
Practical ways to offer meaningful feedback and engagement without shutting each other down

Whether you write, paint, play music, garden, or simply long to bring more beauty into your life, this episode will encourage you to see creativity not only as a personal practice—but as a vital part of your relationship.

Bickering, Kindness, and the Deep Roots of Love Sep 05, 2025

Show notes

Marriage isn't only shaped by the big events and ruptures—it's also shaped by the little things. The small arguments that seem to surface again and again, the shifts in family roles as children grow up and move out, and even the physical changes that come with aging can quietly wear away at a relationship if left unspoken.

In this episode of the Allender Center Podcast, Dr. Dan and Becky Allender are joined by Dr. Steve and Lisa Call to revisit the topic of marriage following the release earlier this year of their book, The Deep-Rooted Marriage.

Together, they name the everyday tensions—like bickering over household tasks or navigating the emotional weight of an empty nest—that can strain a relationship.

More importantly, they share how couples can stay "buoyed together" through kindness, curiosity, and honest conversation. From asking simple questions like "What's going on for you?" to practicing story work that helps us understand the deeper histories beneath our conflicts, this conversation offers hope and guidance for cultivating resilience and intimacy in marriage.

Whether you're facing small resentments, major life transitions, or simply longing for more connection, this episode invites you to consider how kindness, curiosity, and story work can deepen your relationship.

Please Note: This episode contains some mature language; listener discretion is advised.

"Enneagram and Marriage" with Christa Hardin Aug 29, 2025

Show notes

What does it take to thrive in our relationships—not just survive—and how can the Enneagram help us along the way?

In this episode of The Allender Center Podcast, Rachael Clinton Chen sits down with Christa Hardin, founder of Enneagram + Marriage and author of "The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing." Christa brings years of wisdom from her own relationship, plus her expertise as a marriage coach and therapist, to offer a hopeful, honest perspective on why personality awareness matters—but why it's never the whole story.

Together, Rachael and Christa explore:

✔ Why joyful feelings (and even celebration) can feel harder than conflict—and what that reveals about us.

✔ Christa's concept of the Glow Stages in relationships—what they are, why we can't live on the mountaintop forever, and how to navigate the necessary valleys with grace.

✔ How the Enneagram helps us honor our gifts, name our shadows, and stay curious about ourselves and each other—whether in marriage, parenting, dating, or our spiritual lives.

✔ Why love, when nurtured well, not only transforms a marriage but becomes a force for calling, courage, and blessing in the world.

Whether you're single, newly married, in the trenches of parenting, or decades into a partnership, you'll find wisdom here for becoming more wholehearted—and more deeply connected. We invite you to listen to discover how your story, your marriage, and your love can grow through every stage.

Get the completely FREE extra chapter of "The Enneagram and Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing" here: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/hiddenchapter

Moving from Broken to Beloved with Brian Lee Aug 22, 2025

Show notes

Spiritual abuse can shatter trust—not only in people and institutions, but sometimes even in God. It can leave survivors wondering if healing or belonging is possible on the other side of betrayal.

In this conversation, Rachael Clinton Chen is joined by Brian Lee, founder of Broken to Beloved. Brian shares his story of growing up as a pastor's kid, becoming a pastor himself, and eventually facing the reality of spiritual abuse in his own life. Out of that painful journey, he has learned the daily work of reminding himself—and others—that no matter what has been taken, we are still beloved.

This work doesn't happen in isolation. Brian and Rachael name the importance of the wider movement—survivors, advocates, pastors, and therapists—who are rising up to expose abuse and create spaces of honesty, care, and repair. Together they remind us that while spiritual abuse is devastating, it does not have the final word.

You can learn more about Broken to Beloved at brokentobeloved.org.

Plus, this fall, we hope you'll join Brian, Rachael, and a host of other speakers at the Broken to Beloved Gathering in Richmond, VA, this October 10-11, 2025. Tickets are available at: https://www.brokentobeloved.org/gatheringinterest

Being a Faithful Witness in Harrowing Times with Rev. Marcos Canales & Rev. Dr. Robert Chao Romero Aug 15, 2025

Show notes

What does it look like to stand with a community through fire—both literal and systemic?

In this conversation, Rev. Marcos Canales and Rev. Dr. Robert Chao Romero join Rachael Clinton Chen to share their experiences leading and loving the Latino community in the Los Angeles area, especially during recent times of crisis. From homes lost and families displaced by devastating wildfires this year to the crushing weight of recent unjust immigration policies that threaten daily survival, these realities are urgent and relentless.

Amid these challenges, they share how they create space for lament, fierce hope, and necessary rest in their lives as leaders. They show what it means to bear witness with empathy, stand in true solidarity, and nurture resilience when the world feels like it's falling apart. Beyond politics, agendas, and policies, their witness points to a deeper hope in Jesus—one that sustains, heals, and empowers communities to keep moving forward.

We invite you to listen, learn, and be moved by their wisdom—shaped by personal and communal healing.

You can learn more about La Fuente Ministries and how you can support their work: https://www.lfmpasadena.org/

"Raising Securely Attached Kids" with Eli Harwood Aug 08, 2025

Show notes

What if the secret to more connected parenting isn't about getting everything right — but about showing up enough to make things right when you don't?

In this week's episode, Rachael Clinton Chen talks with Eli Harwood, aka @attachmentnerd — licensed therapist, award-winning author, and one of Instagram's most trusted voices on attachment and parenting.

They dive into how our own attachment stories shape the way we relate to our kids, why being "good enough" really is enough, and how creating space for repair and consistency beats striving for perfection every time.

With a blend of science, personal stories, and down-to-earth advice, Eli reminds us that secure attachment isn't about flawless parenting — it's about presence, patience, and showing up again and again.

Whether you're navigating the younger years, parenting teens, or unpacking your own childhood experiences, this conversation offers hope, grounding, and a fresh perspective.

Visit her at AttachmentNerd.com where you can listen into her podcast, join the Nerd Herd, or even book an attachment coach. You can also follow her on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook @attachmentnerd. And don't forget to check out her books: Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns into Loving, Lasting Romantic Relationships and Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy & Resilience.

Trauma, Grief, and Disrupting Death-Dealing Systems with Dr. Jamie Eaddy Aug 01, 2025

Show notes

If you've ever struggled to make space for your own grief—or wondered why so many people around you seem to push through pain without tending to it—this episode offers a compelling and liberating invitation.

Host Rachael Clinton Chen and guest co-host Wendell Moss sit down with Dr. Jamie Eaddy. Dr. Jamie is a thanatologist, which is a professional who studies and provides support related to death, dying, bereavement, and grief. She is also a grief and death doula, a healer, and the founder of The Ratchet Grief Project®. Jamie's work centers especially on the Black community and other marginalized groups whose grief is often overlooked or dismissed. She invites us to see grief not as a private burden or spiritual failing, but as a sacred, communal, and even political process.

Together, they name the systems that make it hard for us to grieve—particularly in communities shaped by Christian triumphalism, generational survival strategies, systemic racism, and the pressure to "keep going" at all costs.

Dr. Jamie challenges death-dealing theologies that shame us for being human and normalize suffering as something deserved or redemptive. Instead, she offers a vision of a God who grows with us, who is expansive, and who longs for us to be fully alive.

This episode is a call to reclaim grief as part of what it means to be human—and to reimagine our faith, our communities, and our systems to reflect that truth. If you're longing for permission to pause, to feel, and to be held in the midst of loss, we hope this conversation will meet you right where you are.

A Sabbath Summer, Part 3: Reflecting and Savoring Jul 25, 2025

Show notes

In this final episode of the Sabbath Summer series, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen guide us into the often-overlooked final movement of Sabbath: reflection.

We began with anticipation—the courageous act of imagining rest. Then moved into participation—embracing play even in the midst of reality's messiness. And now, we arrive at reflection—savoring what has been.

But reflection doesn't always come easily. In a culture that pushes us toward constant motion, pausing to ponder our day, our summer, or even a moment of joy can feel… unnatural. Or even risky. As Rachael shares, sometimes the goodness we taste is hard to hold. It intensifies longing. It reminds us of what's still broken. And yet—it strengthens hope.

Dan offers a glimpse into his own end-of-day rhythm with Becky. He reminds us that reflection is not about correction, but recollection—a gathering of the day's moments to see what God is forming in us.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, to savor, and to see: -What has this summer meant for you so far? -What might God be showing you through it? -And how might reflection become not just a one-time practice, but a way of holding eternity—right here, in the ordinary?

Thank you for joining us for this three-part Sabbath Summer series. We're grateful you chose to pause, reflect, and journey with us through anticipation, participation, and reflection.

Our hope is that these conversations invited you into deeper rest—not just in your schedule, but in your spirit. May you carry what you've imagined, created, and savored into the days ahead, with openness to the delight and presence of God along the way.

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