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The Allender Center Podcast — Christianity
The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center Podcast features Dr. Dan Allender and his team engaging topics on healing and restoration through the unique intersection of theology and psychology. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join us to gain refreshing insight into understanding your story, handling relational struggles, recovering from trauma and abuse, and more.

The mission of The Allender Center is to help people tell their stories with awareness and integrity, and to train them to listen to the stories of others with care, artistry, and skill so that they may foster redemption and healing in their lives. The Allender Center is a pioneering organization committed to boldly engaging the impact of trauma and abuse, providing healing and teaching to individuals, couples, and communities, and training professionals to listen and enter into stories in a way that facilitates transformation and hope. For information on all our programs and live events, visit theallendercenter.org

Latest Episodes:

Exposing the Schemes of Evil Apr 01, 2023

Show notes

How do you know that someone in your life is setting you up for harm? While we don't want to promote paranoia, it's important to be aware of some of the common strategies of those who perpetrate harm against you, whether that is spiritual, sexual, relational, financial, or emotional harm.

Dan begins this episode by saying, "We are meant to expose the schemes of evil, and we can't expose them if we're not aware of them. But to become aware, we're dabbling in some degree of darkness, of the violation of human dignity."

So dear listeners, please be aware that this episode covers the sensitive topic of abuse, and we advise you to exercise self-awareness and self-care should you choose to listen.

As Rachael says, "Our hope is to help loosen the binds, not create more burdens. We'll try to move tenderly and gently with wisdom, but also boldness."

Connecting Dots: Making Sense of Our Stories Mar 25, 2023

Show notes

We are not just a collection of stories - we are a story. So how do we begin to make sense of a collection of seemingly random and unrelated stories to find a theme of who we are and what our purpose is?

Dan and Rachael talk about uncovering the lies in our stories, finding the connective threads in the themes of our lives, and discovering the ways in which our stories reveal something unique about the character of God.

To learn more about telling your story in a deeper and more transformative way, we invite you to participate in one of our Story Workshops. You can find out more about upcoming workshops at theallendercenter.org/events

Healing to Lead, Part 2 Mar 18, 2023

Show notes

If you're familiar with the work of the Allender Center, you've probably heard us say: ""You cannot take anyone further than you have gone." Whether you're in a leadership position at work, at church, or within your family, if you hope to lead and help others along their journey, you have to also embark on your own healing journey. This is not something you can observe from the sidelines and coach someone through without doing the work yourself. So what's involved in that healing process for leaders? What stops us from healing? And are we ever "done" healing?

Join Dan Allender, Rachael Clinton Chen, and Linda Royster as they continue their conversation around the need to heal to lead.

Healing to Lead, Part 1 Mar 11, 2023

Show notes

"Every person is a leader in some form. Every person is influencing others to some degree - whether you're a pastor or whether you're managing your children's soccer team, you are in the middle of something complex and difficult," says Dr. Dan Allender, as he kicks off the conversation with Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster.

In this week's podcast episode, we consider the paradox of leadership that Moses experienced leading the Israelites. Being in a leadership position is an honor and a calling, but it often comes with significant challenges and complexities. How does a reluctant leader grapple with the lament they feel while being compelled by their calling and purpose? "We can't escape the call to lead because… there is hope for more. There's hope for goodness. There is a call and a burden for people to experience freedom. That's in part what makes it bearable for me… You move forward because hope abides and comfort does come," shares Linda.

Next week, we'll return to talk about the the importance of leaders first experiencing their own healing in order to engage those they serve with kindness, goodness, and hope.

Welcome Back, Rachael! Mar 04, 2023

Show notes

We are thrilled to welcome back podcast co-host Rachael Clinton Chen, who is returning to us from maternity leave! In this conversation with Dan, Rachael catches us up on life as a new mother, her experiences with labor and the first few months, and her observations on the incredible burdens that women bear. If you are a parent or caregiver, we think this episode will be especially relatable, but we hope that all who listen will walk away with a renewed sense of the awe, terror, and joy of the responsibility of caring for those who are most vulnerable in our lives. Congratulations Rachael, Michael, and family on your precious blessing, and welcome Evelyn Grace!

Memory and Story Feb 25, 2023

Show notes

"Our memories are our stories and there's no story that we tell that isn't from our vantage point," says our guest this week, Cathy Loerzel, MA.

As we engage our stories and try to recall past events, some of our memories may feel unclear, incomplete, or even untrustworthy.

Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel unpack how the brain fragments or scatters painful memories as a trauma response, and how we can work to shed light on those parts of our stories from the past in order to help us live into our present stories with greater freedom.

Betrayal in Marriage Feb 18, 2023

Show notes

We all have experienced betrayal in our relationships. We typically think of betrayal as an affair or deception, and some of us may be quick to say, "That doesn't apply to my relationship."

But what today's conversation points out is that betrayal is actually anything that disconnects us from our partner and places something else above that person we love most. These moments of betrayal can lead to hurt, disappointment, shame, and a loss of trust.

How do we navigate those moments of betrayal when we feel so wounded? And, whether you're the one who has perpetrated the harm or you're the one who has been on the receiving end of that harm, how do we bravely enter into the spaces of shame to name the harm that's been done and grow together as a couple?

Join Dan and Becky Allender of the Allender Center and Steve and Lisa Call of the Reconnect Institute as they talk about re-engaging with your spouse in those moments of betrayal to cultivate a new sense of trust and hope in your marriage.

Attachment Stories in Marriage Feb 11, 2023

Show notes

Attachment is an emotional bond we feel with another person who responds to our needs. This begins as an infant as we attach (or fail to attach) to our caregivers then extends into our adult life, often showing up in the ways we relate to others. In today's episode, Dan and Becky Allender are joined by Steve and Lisa Call from Reconnect Institute to examine how our attachment styles emerge within the context of marriage, how to identify and name those attachments, and how to learn and heal in our most intimate relationships.

Family of Origin with Dr. Dan Allender and Adam Young Feb 04, 2023

Show notes

So much of our beauty and brokenness — so much of what makes us who we are today — is tied to our family of origin.

The ways in which we act, react, and interact with others are directly tied to our childhood origin stories and the hurt that we all inevitably experienced – no matter how perfect (or imperfect) our families were.

Why should we spend time going back to name the hurt we experienced growing up? Is it worth it to stir up those memories, talk about painful experiences, and potentially upset our loved ones?

Dr. Dan Allender and Adam Young, LCSW, MDiv, candidly share their own personal experiences of courageously engaging their parents in conversations and, over time, discovering more grace, understanding, and freedom in the process.

We hope this conversation sparks courage within you to engage some of the difficult truths of the past in order to discover a new hope for your life right now.

If you'd like to hear more, we invite you to join Dan and Adam on February 23 for "Family of Origin," a new online seminar from the Allender Center. Registration is now open at theallendercenter.org/events

Parenting the Parent Jan 28, 2023

Show notes

Annie Allender Robbins and Amanda Christian join their dad, Dan Allender, for a personal and profound dialogue about how they were raised, how that shaped them, and the work that they have done as adults to discover a new width of freedom to be who they really are. Dan also reflects on healing he has found as a parent, and now a grandparent, through his relationship with his children.

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