The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

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**The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant**

Welcome to The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant, a transformational podcast where healing meets awakening, and self-discovery leads to profound transformation.

Michelle Chalfant is a transformational guide, here to help you unlock the path to your true self. In this groundbreaking podcast, she redefines health and wellness—mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual—through powerful conversations and insights.

Michelle’s passion is awakening souls. With her unique blend of wisdom and practical tools, she empowers listeners to align with their higher purpose, live authentically, and thrive in a state of flow. Whether you’re seeking deeper meaning, greater joy, or healing, this podcast is your guide.

Featuring thought leaders, spiritual teachers, healers, and changemakers, each episode delivers actionable steps and inspiring stories to help you awaken to your soul’s purpose and live a life of passion, connection, and fulfillment.

This is more than a podcast—it’s a journey into living fully aligned with your soul, guided by the wisdom of The Adult Chair, the ultimate seat of peace, presence, and authenticity.

If you’re ready to awaken to your potential, step into your power, and live the extraordinary life you were meant for, this is the show for you.

Welcome to The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant. Your journey to transformation starts here.

Latest Episodes:

393: Self-Care To Regulate Your Nervous System with Theresa Steighner Nov 16, 2023

Show notes

What image comes to mind when you think about self-care?

A massage or bubble bath?

A fancy dinner?

Being all zenned out in lotus pose?

Though these things can be wonderful, I also think they can give self-care a bad name by portraying it as something fun, frivolous and even a little selfish.

In reality, true self-care – or what I like to call "therapeutic self-care" – is absolutely essential to our well-being and our ability to show up for those around us.

Therapeutic self-care is about meeting your core needs as a human – mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. It's an inside job first and foremost, and it doesn't have to be time-consuming or expensive to do WONDERS for your nervous system, stress levels and overall balance in life.

As we go into the holidays where schedules are extra packed and stress is high, we need to become even more mindful of our self-care. To send you into this season with empowering self-care practices, I tapped Adult Chair® Master Coach and self-care guru, Theresa Steighner, to share her advice for self-care at the holidays (and year round!) with us.

Theresa shares the four pillars of true self-care, plus five fast and free things you can do daily to keep your nervous system in balance…this is self-care like you've never heard it talked about before!

Listen to discover:

● Why self-care is so important

● What "therapeutic self-care" is

● The four pillars of true self-care

● 5 quick ways to regulate your nervous system

● How to prioritize yourself and your self-care

I promise you, if you do what Theresa recommends in this episode, you'll feel less stress, less overwhelm, more presence and more peace this holiday season. Tidings of comfort and joy, indeed.

"Our self-care is more than the bubble baths, the massages, the getting the pedicures. Self-care is really about taking care of our needs on that physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level." - Theresa Steighner

"A big part of self-care is being able to set those boundaries, but we really have to know who we are first." - Theresa Steighner

"When somebody compliments you, it's a reflection of you back to you." - Theresa Steighner

"Awareness is key. We cannot change what we are not aware of." - Theresa Steighner

"You can't grab what's happening in the moment and raise your self-awareness if you're constantly in the future or the past. Make sure you're slowing down." - Michelle Chalfant

"Women have a really hard time putting ourselves first." - Michelle Chalfant

"Nature regulates our nervous system." - Theresa Steighner

"Yoga helps us to repattern those habitual response patterns and brings awareness so that we can show up in a healthier way, in that healthy adult." - Theresa Steighner

"You've got to make sure you're asking for what you need. You're worth it." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Theresa Steighner Website

https://www.peacefulwellbeing.com/

Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1!

https://theadultchair.com/certification

Green Chef

http://greenchef.com/adult250

Use code ADULT250 to get $250 off

Tanasi

https://tanasi.com/

Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

392: How To Get Unstuck and Change Your Life Nov 09, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever felt stuck in life, like you dislike where you are but think you have no other options?

This is one of my least favorite places to be (and I've been there many times). Being unhappy feels bad enough…but what truly feels terrible is thinking there's no way out.

And when we believe there's no way out, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

That's because it's not our circumstances that keep us stuck, but our thoughts and beliefs. Stuck thoughts lead to stuck energy, which paralyzes us.

To get unstuck, we have to interrupt this thought pattern and shift our energy so we can move forward!

In this episode, I'm giving you six of my favorite ways to do that. These are the tools I turn to when I'm feeling stuck…and if you know me, you know I like things that I can start applying right away. So, if you're ready to get unstuck and start seeing transformation TODAY, this is the show for you!

Listen to discover:

6 practical tools to get unstuck
The power of acceptance
How to manifest your future reality today
Why complaining keeps us stuck
How to practice gratitude for true transformation
Why journaling is such a powerful tool for moving energy
The #1 way to change your life

I've realized over the years that the way we change our lives is through the small choices we make every day.

These small steps – things like gratitude, watching our thoughts, being honest with ourselves – done with consistency transform us over time.

If you're feeling stuck and discouraged, I've been there, and I get it.

But I KNOW you can change your life, because I've changed mine using the tools in this episode…and if I can do it, you can too!

Which of these tools will you choose today to start moving toward the life you want?

"You've got to own what's in your life." - Michelle Chalfant

"Acceptance starts to move our energy out of a stuck place." - Michelle Chalfant

"In order to really get unstuck and create change, you've got to get really, really clear about what you want instead." - Michelle Chalfant

"We can manifest anything – anything at all. But you've got to use your mind…to get out of the place that you are in." - Michelle Chalfant

"Your thoughts are very powerful, but the spoken word is even more powerful. When you speak about your limitations, you're anchoring into your current reality your limitations." - Michelle Chalfant

"Think about how much energy you're giving the thing that you don't want anymore…We want to talk about what's coming." - Michelle Chalfant

"Many studies have even shown that journaling can be similar or feel similar to going to a therapist or coach. Because what happens is, when we're journaling, we're purging." - Michelle Chalfant

"Life, my friends, is a choice. What are you going to choose for yourself? Are you going to choose to go into that victim seat or are you going to choose to feel more empowered?" - Michelle Chalfant

"The way we change our lives is to be intentional with all of our choices." - Michelle Chalfant

"You're the only one that can transform your life. You just have to take time and choose to put yourself first and get unstuck and change your life. You can do this." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Share the Love - Review The Adult Chair® Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634

Join The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Waitlist - Doors Open December 1!

https://theadultchair.com/certification

Tanasi

https://tanasi.com/

Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

391: 5 Ways To Live From Your True Self Nov 02, 2023

Show notes

We all have a "true self" – the essence of who we were before the world told us who to be.

We're born with this essence, but over time, we start reacting to the world around us and create a false self out of our wounds, our experiences and our attempts to get our needs met.

The false self isn't bad, but it isn't who we really are – and a lot of the challenges we experience in life, like anxiety and depression, come from living out of alignment with our true self.

Any sort of healing work must begin with cracking open the false self and discovering who we really are.

This all might sound very philosophical, but the good news is that accessing our true selves is shockingly practical.

By using simple tools that we all have access to, we can begin to reconnect with who we really are and live with the peace, balance, happiness and fulfillment that comes from showing up authentically in the world.

In this episode, I'm giving you five simple ways to start living more from your true self. These are all tools that are totally free and available right now, wherever you are!

Listen to discover:

What we mean when we talk about the "true self"
Why we develop a "false self"
5 ways to connect with and live from your true self
How to feel your emotions
Practical self-care ideas
How journaling can help you tap into a deeper part of self

This is a process, but make sure you're taking time to notice even the little wins. As you experiment with these tools, really sit with that wonderful feeling of rediscovering a tiny piece of yourself. Start paying attention and validating yourself for who you really are.

Over time, I think you're going to be really surprised (in a lovely way) when you begin to not only rediscover aspects of your true self, but also start claiming those aspects and living from that place more each day.

"Some of us have a much thicker layer of the false self, and some of us have a thinner layer of the false self. The good news is [that] anyone can learn how to penetrate that false self and rediscover and live from their true self." - Michelle Chalfant

"Getting in touch with our emotions is such a magical thing." - Michelle Chalfant

"We have a lot more emotions than happy, sad, mad, ashamed and glad." - Michelle Chalfant

"When we put ourselves first and practice what we need as far as taking care of ourselves, it's really, really healthy." - Michelle Chalfant

"Self-care is tuning in and asking, 'What do I need right now in order to make myself feel more comfortable, safe, relaxed and de-stressed?'" - Michelle Chalfant

"Self-care activities will promote and help with self-love and self-worth." - Michelle Chalfant

"Breathwork takes you deeper into yourself. It can truly crack you open and help you to get in touch with some emotions that have been trapped or stuck." - Michelle Chalfant

"Journaling takes you on a journey to the depths of your soul." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Join the 30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days

Share the Love - Review The Adult Chair® Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

390: Understanding Psychedelics with Matt Zemon Oct 26, 2023

Show notes

Everyone seems to have an opinion about psychedelics these days.

Doctors and therapists see them as potential treatments for things like anxiety, depression and PTSD. Spiritual communities believe they open us up to the divine. Politicians debate whether they should be legal or illegal.

I have to admit that when I first heard people talking about them, I was scared.

I'm not a big fan of substance use of any kind, and the idea of a "drug" becoming mainstream concerned me.

But when some respected psychologists and colleagues of mine started talking about the healing power of psychedelics — people who were far from the 1960s "Summer of Love" stereotype — I knew the topic at least deserved my honest research.

As I dug deeper into the science behind psychedelics and understood how they worked in the mind, I began to realize they weren't about escaping but about going deeper into oneself by quieting the ego and opening the door to new parts of our consciousness.

But, I wanted to make sure my opinion was backed up by accurate, science-based, factual research. And there are few people who I've found better informed on this topic than Matt Zemon.

Matt was once a fellow skeptic like me who also became convinced through research and experience that psychedelics can play a positive role in therapeutic and medical settings.

He is one of the most grounded, scientific voices I've heard on this topic — perfect for anyone who simply wants to learn more and see what you think for yourself — and I am thrilled to have him share his wealth of knowledge in this episode.

Listen to discover:

Matt's story of opening his mind to psychedelics – and how they changed his life
Safety considerations for psychedelic use
Whether or not psychedelics are addictive (and how they can help treat addiction)
The different types of psychedelics and how they work in the mind
How and why psychedelics can help us change our thought patterns
The importance of therapeutic integration after a psychedelic experience
Resources for doing your own research and safe psychedelic use

The choice to have a psychedelic experience is very personal, and I would never tell someone they should or should not try a powerful substance like these.

But I do think we should all do our due diligence to research new breakthroughs in healing with an open mind — which I hope this episode helps you do.

Because whether you get there through a psychedelic or not, allowing yourself to see new perspectives and change your mind is how you grow as a human…and that's always a path worth pursuing.

"In that first six- or seven-hour [psychedelic] journey, the entire way I look and interact with the world shifted." - Matt Zemon

"Physically, these substances are relatively safe." - Matt Zemon

"Not all psychedelics are the same, and you don't want to be on certain medications and taking a psychedelic." - Matt Zemon

"The psychedelic process can help us remember a way that we used to think, maybe before we had adopted those behaviors...and from that rememberance, we can then start to take the steps to change our life." - Matt Zemon

"It's not so much that [psychedelics are] a cure...they're really catalysts for change." - Matt Zemon

"It's not a magic pill. None of them are a magic pill." - Michelle Chalfant

"I felt like I was sitting with God each and every time. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever done." - Michelle Chalfant

"The most important thing was the integration. What do you do after you've had this experience and then how do you integrate that into your life?" - Michelle Chalfant

"In the psychedelic experience, a few things are going to happen. Your default mode network...is going to quiet down...Neurons fire together that haven't fired together in a long time...In this process, it's common that you will then feel connected to all things and all people. You'll feel loved. You'll feel enough. And that is, in my opinion, the reclaiming of your true self." - Matt Zemon

"When you know you're enough and you know you're loved, you're starting to take away the masks you've put on and have been put on you." - Matt Zemon

LINKS & RESOURCES

Join the 30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days

Tanasi

https://tanasi.com/

Use code ADULT to get 25% off your first order

Matt Zemon Website

https://mattzemon.com/

"Psychedelics for Everyone" (Matt Zemon Book)

https://www.amazon.com/Psychedelics-Everyone-Beginners-Depression-Consciousness/dp/B0BCS7NM9H

Matt Zemon Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/matt.zemon/

"How to Change Your Mind" Book

https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-Mind-Consciousness-Transcendence/dp/0735224153

Spirit Pharmacist Psychedelic Consultations/Education

https://www.spiritpharmacist.com/

"A Really Good Day" Book

https://www.amazon.com/Really-Good-Day-Microdosing-Difference-ebook/dp/B01FPH0IUO/

Safe Drug Testing

https://drugsdata.org/

https://dancesafe.org/

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

389: Steps for Working Through a Trigger with Angela Johnson Oct 19, 2023

Show notes

Triggers are a gift.

Yes, you heard that right (and if you've been here for a while, you've heard me say it before) – I LOVE being triggered!

That's not to say it's fun being triggered, but working with triggers has led to some of the most transformational moments of my life.

See, triggers reveal unknown, unconscious beliefs we hold about ourselves – limiting beliefs that cause us pain and hold back in life.

When these beliefs rise to the surface in the form of a trigger, we get the beautiful opportunity to work with them and transform them…not only healing the trigger but helping us get unstuck and change our lives.

One of my Adult Chair® Coaches, Angela, recently had an experience working with a trigger that was so transformational that even she has jumped on the "triggers are a gift" bandwagon.

A tiff with her husband led to a HUGE moment of self-discovery and deeper connection in their relationship, thanks to the trigger tools Angela learned through The Adult Chair®.

I was so proud of the work she did that I invited her to come on the show and share exactly how she took ownership of the trigger (instead of blaming her husband) and then worked with the trigger to discover and heal the surprising belief underneath it — one she would have never recognized without the trigger

Listen to discover:

How Angela used The Adult Chair (TAC) to work through a trigger and repair a relationship
The surprising root of Angela's trigger that she was able to uncover
How TAC has completely changed the way Angela responds when triggered
Why triggers are the gateway to freedom
How triggers work through the lens of the Child, Adolescent and Adult Chairs
Steps for working through a trigger
Why doing our work and healing can make us less vulnerable to triggers

When we work on our triggers, it is true freedom.

We not only heal the limiting beliefs that hold us back but also find that we get triggered less with time.

This is one of my favorite conversations because it shows this work in action and breaks it down for you in a powerful way. You will discover exactly how triggers work through the lens of The Adult Chair, how to stay regulated and grounded next time you're triggered and steps to work through and heal your triggers for good.

"When we work with ourselves and work on our own healing of our old wounds…it affects so many people around us." - Michelle Chalfant

"Like you said, triggers are a gift. You say it. I don't want it to be true. But I'm learning that it is." - Angela Johnson

"[Triggers] are a gift...You will learn something about a part of you that's been buried for a very long time. And it is an opportunity to look at that and actually transform and bring that part into the light, and then it doesn't trigger you anymore." - Michelle Chalfant

"What we don't understand about this work sometimes, because it feels scary, is that on the other side of it is freedom." - Angela Johnson

"I've lived in that space of letting [triggers] disrupt my life and relationships for long enough that I just don't want to live that way anymore." - Angela Johnson

"When we're in our Adult Chair...we remember that life is a choice, and everything in life is a choice. And we get to choose, "Do I want to stay in victim seat?" or, "Do I want to reach over and be in my empowerment seat?'" - Michelle Chalfant

"Our perspective when we're triggered shrinks way down...what we want to do is broaden your perspective, and then you have all these different choices and options." - Michelle Chalfant

"In the Adult, we live in the moment. We don't drag things from the past into the moment." - Michelle Chalfant

"Freedom is not a quick little pill. It does take a little bit of work. But it's long lasting. This is not a band-aid approach." - Michelle Chalfant

"You don't get activated the same way after you do that work. That's the miracle." - Angela Johnson

LINKS & RESOURCES

Angela Johnson Website

https://openhandscoaching.com/

Use code TRIGGER for $25 off a session

Find an Adult Chair® Coach

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/

Join the 30-Day Journaling Challenge

https://theadultchair.com/30days

Tanasi

https://tanasi.com/

Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

388: Human Design with Emma Dunwoody Oct 12, 2023

Show notes

Do you ever wonder why you do what you do…and if it's just you who does it?

Your gifts, your life's mission, how much energy you have, what you need in relationships, how you view money – these are all unique to you.

And according to Human Design, you are the way you are for a special reason.

Unlike personality typing systems based on mental or behavioral patterns, Human Design is a system based on energy and what was going on in the universe when you were born. Though there are five main "types" within Human Design, it's a very dynamic system that will help you understand what makes you you and what you need to thrive.

I've been hearing tons of buzz about Human Design recently, and in this episode, I talk with Human Design coach (and overall delightful human), Emma Dunwoody, about what Human Design is and how it can help us better embrace our true selves.

Not only does Emma answer all my questions about Human Design, but she also helped me decode my chart, and let me tell you – I felt so seen, validated and free to be myself once I understood I'm exactly who I'm meant to be (and you are too!).

Listen to discover:

What Human Design is
The difference between Human Design and other personality systems
How Human Design can change your life
How to decode your own Human Design chart
The five Human Design types
What "functional burnout" is
How Human Design can help us in dating and relationships
What Human Design teaches us about money

As you know from The Adult Chair®, we are all a kaleidoscope of parts, talents and experiences.

Human Design is a fun, insightful tool to help us understand a little bit more about who we are — not to put us in a box but to give us permission to embrace and be our true selves.

Because all those things that only you do? They make you uniquely lovable YOU, and the world wouldn't be the same without you.

"With Human Design, we don't go via the mind. We actually go via the energy…It gives us this energetic blueprint. I love to think of it as a treasure map to our authenticity." - Emma Dunwoody

"You don't go into future with this at all. It really is just about who I am today." - Michelle Chalfant

"So many people spend all this time trying to change themselves...With Human Design, it ultimately gives you a permission slip to be you." - Emma Dunwoody

"We think we need to become who other people tell us that we should become...but with Human Design, you really help people to touch their true self." - Michelle Chalfant

"Human Design teaches us that there are actually two different types of burnout...but what we don't talk about is this 'functional burnout.'" - Emma Dunwoody

"There's so many ways that Human Design can really amplify and improve relationships." - Emma Dunwoody

"Actually, what money is all about is being in alignment to your authenticity…When we are free to be ourselves, then we can't help but make money." - Emma Dunwoody

"Our profile really helps us understand how we do life, what people want from us, how we learn." - Emma Dunwoody

"Human Design is basically the science of being unique." - Emma Dunwoody

LINKS & RESOURCES

Emma Dunwoody Website (Get a Free Human Design Chart)

https://www.emmadunwoody.com/

"The Human Design Podcast" (Emma Dunwoody Podcast)

https://www.emmadunwoody.com/the-human-design-podcast

Emma Dunwoody Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/the_human_design_coach/

Tanasi

https://tanasi.com/

Code ADULT to get 25% off your first order

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

387: How To Build Trust in Your Relationship Oct 05, 2023

Show notes

When we think of trust in a relationship, most of us think of broken trust and big betrayals – things like infidelity, addiction and secrets.

But true trust is about the small actions that we take every day. Trust isn't something we have by default unless it's broken; it's something we have to build.

With every interaction, we're either building or whittling away trust – and sometimes the things that break trust are so subtle, we don't even know we're doing them!

In this episode, I'm giving you six ways to build trust so you can grow your relationship with your partner. These are small, simple actions, but they require awareness, intention and being in your Adult Chair to do consistently.

If you want a long-lasting, deeper connection with your partner, this episode is a must listen!

Listen to discover:

What trust in a relationship is and why it's so important
How trust deepens the bond in a committed relationship
6 steps to build trust today
The importance of being true to your word
How to own and apologize for mistakes and move forward
How to show up with presence and prioritize your relationship

Without trust, we can't have healthy, connected relationships. Trust is an energetic bond that creates safety and allows us to open up, be vulnerable and grow together.

The good news is that it's not about perfection. All of us – including myself – don't get these right all the time.

What's important is what we do when we mess up.

Honesty, presence and the ability to own our mistakes are the ways we as imperfect humans create deep bonds with other imperfect humans and the key to getting the love you want – not the perfect fairy tale, but a beautiful journey of learning and growing together.

"Trust is one of the essential components to a healthy, committed relationship." - Michelle Chalfant

"If we're going to speak something and promise something to our partner, we want to make sure that we are able to line up behind what we're saying." - Michelle Chalfant

"If you are going to speak something into existence, you have to speak it with your full energy and with you behind it…Your actions need to match your words." - Michelle Chalfant

"Owning it does not mean that you're a bad person. You're a human person, and mistakes are gonna happen." - Michelle Chalfant

"If you want to build trust and you're in a committed relationship, apologizing is powerful. It helps to build a connection." - Michelle Chalfant

"When we have important people in our lives, we need to put the phone down, not look at the television, not get distracted by the dog or the cat or the animal in your house. We want to make sure that we're prioritizing our person and giving them our full attention." - Michelle Chalfant

"We need to give our person eye contact when we're listening. Because then they're going to feel seen and they're gonna feel heard, they feel important." - Michelle Chalfant

"You can't put the relationship on the back burner and your person on the back burner and expect [the relationship] to grow and flourish." - Michelle Chalfant

"If you've got friends that are...acting in a way that's disrespectful to your partner, it's your job to defend your partner." - Michelle Chalfant

"Even if the truth hurts, it's better than lying." - Michelle Chalfant

"It feels so good to know that your person has you and you've got them. That's that bond of trust. Trust is like this energetic bond that we form with our partner." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

DOORS OPEN: "The Relationship Reset" Course

https://resources.michellechalfant.com/relationships/

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

386: How To Clear Generational Trauma with Emily Blefeld Sep 28, 2023

Show notes

For millennia, cultures around the globe have known that there's more to us than meets the eye and that our family trees really are a map to ourselves — an energetic portrait of our lives.

Today, epigenetics has proven that what our ancestors experienced can imprint on our genes and impact our lives today in unexpected ways.

That depression, anxiety, stress or limiting belief? It might be from long ago.

And the field of psychology is finally catching up with this.

A new methodology I just discovered (and got the chance to try as a client) is called Family Constellation work.

In this method, we find unconscious experiences and beliefs that we're carrying from our ancestors — including those who we never knew — and work to transform them through awareness and compassion.

On the podcast this week, I talked with my Family Constellation practitioner, Emily Blefeld, about what Family Constellation work is, how our family history affects our lives today and how we can clear blocks and dismantle generational cycles by being bold and brave enough to look at what happened before we were even here.

It's not that different from what we do with parts work in The Adult Chair®, except instead of working with parts of ourselves we're working with parts of our family tree! It's SO freaking cool!

Listen to discover:

How our family history impacts our present reality
The way our ancestors' patterns create patterns for us today
What Family Constellation work is and how it works
How to heal trauma and clear blocks through Family Constellation work
Using Family Constellation work for business, non-biological relatives and more

The cool thing about epigenetics is that it describes a tendency, not a fate. These experiences don't change our DNA; they change the way our genes express themselves.

That means we get a choice in how these generational traumas will manifest in our lives.

We don't have to agree with the beliefs and experiences of our ancestors. We can look them in the face and decide they stop with us.

And there's no transformation more powerful than that – for ourselves and generations to come.

"We are victim to our lineage." - Michelle Chalfant

"What's unconscious will continue to permeate our lives until it's made conscious." - Emily Blefeld

"We actually carry the victims and the perpetrators in our inherited lineage." - Emily Blefeld

"[Family Constellation work] is predominantly a therapy that looks at the system that we walk around with." - Emily Blefeld

"Constellation work is less interested in what is causing the symptom, and they're more interested in who is the symptom." - Emily Blefeld

"I like to think of it as a family soul on some level." - Emily Blefeld

"There's so much more to us than meets the eye." - Michelle Chalfant

"There are so many different ways to clear our blocks. There's so many different ways to relieve anxiety, depression, feeling not good enough, our inner fraud, all of those things." - Michelle Chalfant

"You'll feel the generations behind heal and the generations following." - Emily Blefeld

"What an awesome thing to hear as a parent, your child thanking you for doing your work. Because it can stop with you." - Emily Blefeld

LINKS & RESOURCES

Emily Blefeld Website

https://seeingwithyourheart.com/

FREE MASTERCLASS: How To Heal Your Relationship To Get the Love You Want

https://theadultchair.com/healing

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

385: Changing Your Relationships Through Your Primal Question with Mike Foster Sep 21, 2023

Show notes

What if everything you do in your life is actually driven by one question – a question that is unconscious to you but acts as the command center for how you show up in the world?

That question is what Mike Foster calls your "primal question," and let me tell you, when I discovered mine, it was like my whole life made sense.

Mike developed The Seven Primal Questions system based on his research and work as a coach.

The idea is that we all have a question – like, "Am I safe?" or, "Am I loved?" – that we didn't get answered in childhood and that we continue to ask as adults.

When the answer to this question is "yes," we feel good and become our best selves.

When it's "no," we start scrambling. Our emotional reactions, compulsions, unhelpful behaviors and survival strategies (things like perfectionism and people pleasing) are all attempts to get this question answered in the way we want.

The cool thing? When we understand our primal question and the question of our loved ones, we can change everything about our relationships by healing our wounds, connecting to our gifts and intentionally answering each others' question with a "yes!"

I LOVE this system, and I'm thrilled to have Mike on this show giving us a crash course in it as he breaks down the seven questions, their corresponding "primal truths" and "primal gifts" and how these questions can show up in our lives in different ways.

Listen to discover:

The Seven Primal Questions and what they mean for your life
How to replace your primal question with a primal truth
Why the flipside of your primal question is your superpower
How you can stop letting your child self run your life and live from your healthy adult self
How to apply your primal question in business and relationships

I have a feeling you'll have some lightbulb moments during this show. I also have a link below to help you find your primal question if you're having trouble figuring it out.

This tool is a GAME CHANGER for more consciously relating to ourselves and others, and I'm thrilled to share it with you! It gets down to the core of what makes us tick and shows us how to love ourselves and the people in our life better…and who doesn't want that?

"In our early childhood, we get imprinted with a primal question…The primal question just represents our highest...emotional need." - Mike Foster

"'Am I safe?' is really about survival…where security is really about, 'Am I resourced appropriately to be able to protect myself and sustain myself?'" - Mike Foster

"[That's] what children do, we perceive the world we're in and then we make conclusions about it." - Mike Foster

"The other side of the question is what I call your primal gift, and it's this superpower that every question has." - Mike Foster

"[During the first six years of life] we don't have discernment...we take it on as, 'It's my fault. I did something wrong.'" - Michelle Chalfant

"When we start attuning to our team members' primal question, we can really become a very effective leader with them." - Mike Foster

"What we need the most is what we want to give away to others." - Mike Foster

"Under every behavior is an emotional or feeling driving that behavior. But under every emotion and feeling is an unmet need driving that emotion or feeling." - Mike Foster

"A question being imprinted by trauma is just gonna carry a lot more weight to it than a question just imprinted through confusion." - Mike Foster

"I just see this as such an empowering tool that can help any relationship." - Michelle Chalfant

"I need to be really aware of how my question is showing up in my life." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Mike Foster Website

https://www.mikefoster.tv/

Seven Primal Questions Assessment

https://mikefostercoaching.outgrow.us/mikefostercoaching-2

"The Seven Primal Questions" (Mike Foster Book)

https://shop.mikefoster.tv/products/seven-primal-questions-book

Mike Foster Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/mikefoster2000/

FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Healthy Relationship Myths

https://theadultchair.com/myths

Green Chef

https://www.greenchef.com/60adult

Use code 60ADULT for 60% off + free shipping

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Join the 2024 Waitlist!

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

384: Grieving Gracefully with Kris Carr Sep 14, 2023

Show notes

Grief is a messy, complicated emotion, and very few of us know what to do with it.

We don't want to (or know how to) feel it, and when we're around others who are grieving, most of us freeze.

We feel uncomfortable, so we say nothing or say the wrong thing or stay away, all of which just adds to the pain.

That was me in my 20s and 30s. But when I lost my father, I could no longer avoid grief. He taught me how to grieve…and I found that grief, as painful as it was, connected me to the deeper parts of my soul and made me a more whole-hearted person.

In this episode, I was fortunate to connect with a new soul sister, Kris Carr, about her own journey with grief following the loss of her father.

She experienced a lot of loss — including 20 years of living with Stage 4 cancer — but like me, she had spent her life shoving grief down until her dad passed away.

As she walked with him from diagnosis until his death, she experienced heartbreaking moments, precious moments, joyful moments and spiritual moments that taught her more about being human and opened her up to life.

We talk about how grief can show up in many different ways (not just death), what happens in our bodies when we don't process it, how to support each other through this universal human experience and how to find joy even in a world where pain is part of our reality.

Listen to discover:

Kris's story of learning to live with both grief and hope
What to say and not say to someone who is grieving
What happens when we don't process grief
Healthy ways to process grief
Taking a "joy inventory" of your life

This conversation is raw, real and beautiful — it's wisdom earned by being in the trenches, and I hope it helps you get a little more comfortable with the discomfort of grief.

There is no formula for grief. It's something we simply have to be there with.

And when we learn to be there with each other and hold space for it, it can become a sacred moment of deeper connection to ourselves and to each other.

"Grief is such a touchy topic, and sometimes it can be hard to even approach the idea of learning more about it." - Kris Carr

"In many ways, grief is a master healer." - Kris Carr

"I couldn't hold [grief] in any longer and expect to be whole." - Kris Carr

"We don't want to feel [grief]. We don't want to go into the negative emotion zone. If emotions are on that spectrum of love to fear, we don't want to go on that side of the spectrum at all. And grief is sitting right there glaring at all of us." - Michelle Chalfant

"None of us are going to get out this life scratch free and stain resistant." - Kris Carr

"I want to welcome all the parts of me and all the emotions to the table." - Kris Carr

"I don't think the [stages of grief] were ever intended to be linear." - Kris Carr

"There's nothing you can do to make my pain go away. So, it's not your responsibility to fix it. It's your responsibility to be present." - Kris Carr

"There's nothing anybody can say or do to make the grief go away...but showing up with presence is one the best things we can do...As a human being, to feel witnessed is such a healing experience for us." - Michelle Chalfant

"Not only are [our emotions] information, but they're energy. [Crying] is just letting that energy out." - Kris Carr

"While you have the chance to be alive, how can you live as fully as possible, even though you've experienced enormous heartache?" - Kris Carr

LINKS & RESOURCES

Kris Carr Website

https://kriscarr.com/

"I'm Not a Mourning Person" (Kris Carr Book)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401970060

FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Healthy Relationship Myths

https://theadultchair.com/myths

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com