Show notes
What does your child with ADHD wish you understood about what it feels like to be them?
In this episode of The ADHD Kids Can Thrive Podcast, Kate Brownfield talks with Dr. Sharon Saline, clinical psychologist and author of What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew, about ADHD, executive functioning, anxiety, motivation, and what children and teens with ADHD need most from the adults raising them.
ADHD can be confusing for parents because a child may be capable of doing something one day and unable to follow through the next. Dr. Saline explains why this inconsistency is part of ADHD and why interest, motivation, executive-function skills, overwhelm, and emotional regulation all play a role.
Together, Kate and Dr. Saline discuss:
• Why ADHD is closely tied to executive-function challenges
• Why ADHD kids can be highly motivated by some things and struggle enormously with others
• How inconsistent performance can create anxiety for both children and parents
• Why bright children may compensate for ADHD challenges until school demands become greater
• How overwhelm can show up as withdrawal, frustration, dropping grades, or conflict at home
• Why parents need to manage their own emotions before trying to help an overwhelmed child
• How to meet your child where they are instead of where you think they “should” be
• Why collaboration works better than constantly telling ADHD kids what to do
• How predictability, routines, visual reminders, and external supports can reduce daily friction
• Why recognizing effort matters just as much as celebrating outcomes
• How parenting needs to evolve as ADHD teens move toward young adulthood and independence
Dr. Saline also shares her Five C’s of ADHD parenting:
Self-Control: Manage your own emotions first so you can respond effectively.
Compassion: Understand your child’s experience and meet them where they are.
Collaboration: Include your child in creating solutions instead of imposing every solution.
Consistency: Provide predictable structure and support without expecting perfection.
Celebration: Notice effort, progress, and what your child is doing well, not only what still needs fixing.
As children with ADHD become older teens and young adults, the parenting role changes again. Dr. Saline encourages parents to become more of a sounding board, sometimes offering advice, but sometimes simply listening.
A helpful question she suggests asking is:
“Would you like support, or would you like advice?”
The goal is not complete independence overnight. It is what Dr. Saline describes as connected independence, allowing young people to make more decisions for themselves while still having appropriate support available as they develop.
For parents who sometimes wonder, “Am I helping too much? Am I pushing too hard? What does my child actually need from me?” this episode offers a compassionate, practical framework for raising an ADHD child from childhood through the emerging-adult years.
Learn more about ADHD parent coaching and resources:
https://adhdkidscanthrive.com
Get the free ADHD Parent Reset:
https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/sl/IUVgRZz
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