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    Comedy

    Terrible Person

    Unfiltered conversations unfold between “Gary” and “Selena” as everyday observations slide into cultural commentary, media obsession, relationship dynamics, and moments that probably should have stayed private. Nothing is structured and very little is filtered.

    Topics drift from movies, celebrities, and internet culture into arguments, confessions, and reactions that feel slightly too honest. Some exchanges are funny, some are uncomfortable, and some cross into territory that is occasionally highly inappropriate. 

    “Gary” and “Selena” revisit disagreements, contradict themselves, escalate minor annoyances, and follow curiosity wherever it goes, without smoothing anything over. If you like sharp observations, messy honesty, and the feeling of being a fly on the wall during conversations you were never meant to hear, this is exactly that.

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    Latest Episodes:
    I Thought It Was A Baby Pt 1 (w/ Jenna From Work) Dec 06, 2024
    Show notes

    Selena is out, so Gary brings in Jenna from work for a first time fill in that immediately turns into a chaotic audition for a potential new podcast. They open with awkward introductions, Squish lore, dental confessions, and the kind of nervous energy that makes everything funnier and more unhinged. From there, they bounce through the UnitedHealthcare CEO shooting discourse, Drew Barrymore being too much, streaming shows that try way too hard, and why modern TV feels obsessed with explicit scenes.
    Jenna recaps a wedding into party bus night that ends at Hot Chick, and Gary spirals into tangents about true crime, the JonBenét Ramsey case, and why the media always finds a way to make things worse. The second half gets oddly real with adult friendship guilt, work exhaustion, and the pressure to be a good friend when life is repetitive and your brain is loud. Gary shares a couple of personal stories about overpromising while drunk and disappearing when it mattered, and they tee up a much darker story for Premium that Gary insists he will tell next.


    CyberTRUNK Guillotine Pt 2 Nov 22, 2024
    Show notes

    Selena and Gary kick off Premium by roasting the absolute emptiness of celebrity real estate “news,” then immediately derail into accents, Thunder Down Under logistics, and the important question: are dudes in Vegas shows waxing their buttholes or not? From there it’s a full ADHD pinball machine: “deportion vs deportation,” people changing accents after head injuries, why awards are fake (and why Terrible Person should collect 500 of them anyway), and Caitlin’s presentation victory lap.
    Then Gary goes full doomsday corner: 15-minute cities, billionaire “smart city” conspiracies near an Air Force base, and the “next pandemic rollout” doom spiral. They wrap with quick hits on movies that leave you buzzing, awkward theater memories, and a surprisingly wholesome pivot into dog rescue TV (with some deeply uncomfortable adopters) and why Cobra Kai is still delivering absurdly hard.


    CyberTRUNK Guillotine Pt 1 Nov 22, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena kick things off with an illegally recorded (allegedly) domestic incident: a late-night Cane’s walk, a fanny pack, and Selena’s wallet trapped inside Gary’s purse… right when she’s on fumes with a massive work presentation. To make it worse, the chaos bleeds into the Johnjay & Rich podcast mid-recording, so everyone gets to hear the panic in real time.
    From there it’s a classic Terrible Person spiral: Apple Pay vs adulthood, divorce jokes, dead-body beer coolers (funeral home lore), Liam Payne funeral timing, Netflix’s Logan Paul / Mike Tyson “fight” and why influencer careers are basically a countdown clock. Then they slide into the real dystopian stuff: Gen Z not driving, electric-car “range prison,” 15-minute city paranoia, Tesla death stats, and the CyberTRUNK—aka the rolling stainless-steel guillotine that might (in theory) claim a penis someday. They close by roasting Green Day, dunking on Florida insanity, and reminiscing about Key West Speedo-era Sugar Ray cosplay… before shoving you toward Premium where the episode actually gets unhinged.


    Tit Tats Pt 2 Nov 16, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena spiral immediately into theories about backwards hats, running form, and the invisible rules people swear determine who looks cool and who absolutely does not. That turns into social media cringe, including EXP Realty’s viral “not like us” stage performance and why corporate hype energy feels worse when everyone involved thinks they’re killing it. From there, they bounce through MLM-style real estate structures, why conferences feel cult-adjacent, and how internet fame ages people fast. Wrestling stories sneak in with locker room foot smells, calf hair mysteries, and why live events hit differently when you are close enough to feel the impact.
    The second half veers into celebrity hotness debates that refuse to land anywhere clean. John Krasinski, Ryan Reynolds, Timothy Chalamet, Harry Styles, wrestlers, actors, and musicians all get ranked, rejected, reconsidered, and roasted while Gary and Selena argue whether attraction is about looks, vibes, or just timing. They close with chaotic headlines including Kanye West lawsuit details, InfoWars being sold to The Onion, Wicked press tour emotions, and why some celebrity stories feel fake even when they are absolutely real.


    Tit Tats Pt 1 Nov 15, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena recap a chaotic week that includes a Mesa “Love Pup” fest gig, surprise edibles from a listener, and the timeless debate of “soundcheck time” versus “leave the house time.” Post-show, they do the responsible thing: Dairy Queen—twice in two nights—then panic when the cashier recognizes them like they’re regulars at an ice cream bar.
    The episode turns into a full fitness showdown with an on-mic push-up competition (complete with accusations of double-counting and “I could’ve done 400 more” excuses). From there it’s stomach issues, food intolerances, and the eternal question: is dairy trying to kill them? They close by roasting the current state of Sister Wives, inventing a questionable “Post Malone half-brother” bit that absolutely needs a beep, and calling Gary’s mom mid-episode for a rapid-fire tattoo inventory and a truly unhinged sleep cocktail that sends the conversation straight off the rails.


    Tickle My Belly Button Nov 08, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena spiral through a late night premium episode that starts with election exhaustion and immediately derails into wordplay, absurd ideas, and off the cuff riffs that go way too far. They jump from invented movie franchises to rap conspiracies, haunted house logic, and why bathtubs feel inherently suspicious the longer you sit in them.
    As the night goes on, Gary and Selena unpack helicopter rides, local chaos, true crime obsessions, celebrity implosions, and the strange comfort of watching extreme stories when real life feels loud. The conversation drifts through Halloween weirdness, pop culture fatigue, dark hypotheticals, and the kind of thoughts you only say out loud when it is past midnight and nothing feels real anymore. By the end, Gary and Selena are openly tired, slightly unhinged, and fully committed to following every tangent wherever it leads, even when it lands somewhere uncomfortable, inappropriate, or impossible to explain later.


    Demon Drop Pt 2 Nov 02, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena wake up in the middle of nowhere after a horror movie night and immediately spiral into paranoia, bad decisions, and survival logic that only makes sense at three in the morning. From unlocked doors and strangers in the dark to bathroom anxiety, bodily chaos, and the weird social rules no one admits out loud, the conversation drifts between fear, absurdity, and uncomfortable honesty. What starts as a discussion about horror movie mistakes turns into a raw stream of thoughts about vulnerability, safety, embarrassment, and the strange ways the brain fills silence when something feels off. Gary and Selena unpack everyday dread, intrusive humor, and the thin line between being alert and completely losing it.


    Demon Drop Pt 1 Nov 02, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena unpack a glamping trip that slowly devolves into frustration, paranoia, and spiraling conversations about public bathrooms, crowded tourist towns, and social tension while traveling. What starts as a recap of an Arizona getaway turns into a series of uneasy stories about horror movies, home invasions, elevator accidents, amusement park rides, and the specific fear that comes from situations that feel slightly out of control.
    As the episode unfolds, Gary and Selena drift through topics like true crime, survival instincts, celebrity news, and why certain everyday experiences trigger irrational dread. The discussion feels raw, chaotic, and unfiltered, like overhearing a long late night conversation where nothing is off limits and every thought is said out loud.


    Pssp, Pssp, Pssp Pt 2 Oct 18, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena break down the chaotic Tell Me Lies season finale and spiral into a wide ranging late night conversation about messy relationships, betrayal, and impulsive decisions. From dissecting toxic ex behavior and college hookups to debating hygiene, douching myths, and why people make the worst choices at the worst moments, the episode moves quickly into personal stories about pets, injuries, sleepless nights, weed mishaps, gas station adventures, hangovers, and near public embarrassment. The discussion expands into celebrity culture, childhood fame, conspiracy thinking, addiction memories, and the uncomfortable realization that nothing ever really feels safe. Loose, raw, and unfiltered, this episode feels like being stuck in a living room conversation that keeps getting stranger the longer it goes.


    Pssp, Pssp, Pssp Pt 1 Oct 18, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena react in real time to the sudden death of Liam Payne and question the strange details surrounding hotel incidents, celebrity behavior, and public narratives. The conversation spirals into paranoia, historical conspiracies, government coverups, and why certain deaths never seem to add up.
    From MK Ultra experiments and whistleblowers to fear around modern warfare, population control, and global power shifts, Gary and Selena bounce between dark speculation and uneasy curiosity. The episode also dives into anonymity, masks, public identity, grocery store chaos, social etiquette breakdowns, and a chaotic cheese aisle incident that turns into an accidental moral dilemma. Loose, suspicious, and increasingly unhinged, the discussion reflects how quickly everyday conversations slide from normal life into existential dread.


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