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    Comedy

    Terrible Person

    Unfiltered conversations unfold between “Gary” and “Selena” as everyday observations slide into cultural commentary, media obsession, relationship dynamics, and moments that probably should have stayed private. Nothing is structured and very little is filtered.

    Topics drift from movies, celebrities, and internet culture into arguments, confessions, and reactions that feel slightly too honest. Some exchanges are funny, some are uncomfortable, and some cross into territory that is occasionally highly inappropriate. 

    “Gary” and “Selena” revisit disagreements, contradict themselves, escalate minor annoyances, and follow curiosity wherever it goes, without smoothing anything over. If you like sharp observations, messy honesty, and the feeling of being a fly on the wall during conversations you were never meant to hear, this is exactly that.

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    Latest Episodes:
    Understanding & Empathy Pt 1 (w/ Joey Bradfisch) Aug 30, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary hosts solo while Selena is “on assignment” (aka getting her nails done), and Joey Bradfisch drops in for a loose, chaotic hang that starts with empathy advice from ChatGPT and spirals into Amish life, Covid-era weirdness, delivery driver beef, Zyn conspiracies, horror movies, celebrity cringe, tragedies-as-true-crime fascinations, wrestling rabbit holes, and why everyone’s exhausted by sequels and culture wars.


    Parfait Gate Pt 2 Aug 23, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena unpack a late night argument that starts with an abandoned lunchbox and turns into Parfait Gate. What should have been a simple yogurt mishap spirals into fridge notes, sleep deprivation, couch exile, and a deep dive into how small domestic mistakes turn into emotional chaos. Along the way they drift into sensory hatred of restaurant misters, relationship tension fueled by exhaustion, and the strange logic of arguing at three in the morning. The conversation keeps widening into celebrity gossip, internet callouts, neighborhood noise rage, and the slow burnout of true crime obsession. Gary and Selena circle back to attraction trends, social media aesthetics, public scandals, and why being chronically overstimulated makes everything feel bigger than it is.


    Parfait Gate Pt 1 Aug 23, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena kick off Parfait Gate with late night chaos, celebrity obsession, and arguments that escalate faster than expected. The episode moves through naked weigh ins, road rage fantasies, and the strange confidence required to be publicly embarrassing without shame.
    From Cobra Kai admiration and actor crushes to true crime fixation, documentary fatigue, and internet sleuth behavior, the conversation keeps swerving between humor and irritation. Gary and Selena also dig into social media bios, influencer identity, smoking aesthetics, alcohol nostalgia, and the way minor annoyances turn into full blown arguments when everyone is tired. It plays out like an overheard conversation that keeps drifting, circling back, and refusing to stay on one topic for long.


    Redacted Summer 2024 Pt 2 Aug 16, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena drift through late summer burnout, pop culture fatigue, and the small arguments that surface when everyone is tired, hungry, and overstimulated. The episode moves from music industry drama and celebrity behavior into health scares, sickness rivalry, and how people compete over who handled being ill better.
    They detour into coming of age memories, first period panic, medical embarrassment, and the strange ways childhood anxiety sticks around. From movie theater frustrations and bad customer service to influencer marketing, pyramid schemes, and the discomfort of being sold to by people you like, the conversation keeps spiraling. Gary and Selena also unpack movie expectations, nostalgia bait, concert culture, and the exhaustion of modern entertainment, all while circling back to food debates, dinner indecision, and unresolved tension that never quite lands.


    Redacted Summer 2024 Pt 1 Aug 16, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena open a tense, abbreviated episode shaped by censorship, second guessing, and the fallout from saying too much the week before. The conversation moves through public backlash, self editing, and the strange pressure of trying to stay honest while knowing everything is being watched.
    From Olympic wrap ups and heavy metal moments to everyday clumsiness, funny bone injuries, and low level physical pain, the episode keeps bouncing between humor and discomfort. Gary and Selena also touch on true crime curiosity, documentary overload, cultural outrage cycles, and the feeling of constantly having to pull back mid thought. It feels like a clipped, nervous check in where everything is half said, interrupted, or redirected before it goes too far.


    Big Winners Pt 2 Aug 09, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena react to neighborhood chaos after a casual walk turns into a police scene, forcing them to question how much danger they miss while distracted. The conversation drifts into adult collecting habits, nostalgia clutter, and what hobbies feel embarrassing once people hit a certain age. From sleep schedules, energy drink crashes, and exhaustion resentment to passive aggressive mornings, accidental naps, and who actually controls the apartment routine, the episode stays locked in domestic tension. Gary and Selena also spiral through Olympic coverage, conspiracy jokes, celebrity behavior, reality television fights, cultural outrage, and why modern trends feel increasingly ridiculous. The episode plays out as a long argument disguised as observations, with paranoia, humor, and irritation constantly colliding.


    Big Winners Pt 1 Aug 09, 2024
    Show notes

    Gareth and Selena kick off with Olympics chaos and immediately derail into synchronized swimming confusion, BMX wipeouts, and the most uncomfortable athletic wardrobe choices on television. They celebrate a rare real life win after fighting their apartment complex over a rent increase and a pet fee hike, then slide into a disgusting cat puke incident that ruins dinner in real time.
    A Target run turns into an accidental character study when they spot a fully committed toy collector, hunt him through the aisles, and watch him speed run straight to the action figures like it is a sacred mission. From Jack the Ripper tourism and Unsolved Mysteries to the Betrayal documentary and a painfully light sentence that makes everyone furious, the episode bounces between true crime, cultural irritations, and relationship bickering. They close out with cocaine sharks, scam vibes, iCloud storage paranoia, and the realization that even their clean episodes still end up weird.


    I Want To Be Turtle Pt 2 Jul 26, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena take over and immediately spiral into unhinged curiosity, bad science memories, and the desire to become rich, strange, and completely unrelatable. They bounce through childhood dissections, bloodletting barbers, frog myths, microwaves that betray you, and why modern life feels disposable compared to the past. The conversation veers into zoo trauma, animal behavior that nobody asked to witness, and an extended obsession with turtles that somehow becomes anatomical and existential at the same time.
    Gary and Selena argue about intelligence, fashion, creativity, conspiracy thinking, and whether knowing too much useless information is a gift or a curse. The episode drifts through documentaries, cultural paranoia, summer brain fog, hunger based exhaustion, and the quiet realization that even the loosest conversations reveal exactly who they are.


    I Want To Be Turtle Pt 1 Jul 26, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena drift through a loose, overheated conversation that jumps from turtles and animal behavior into pop culture fatigue, aging bodies, and the strange economics of modern life. They talk about shaved ice regret, bad pizza science, celebrity transformations, nostalgia driven television, and the way everything feels more expensive and more disposable at the same time.
    The episode moves through horror shows, vampire movies, reality television burnout, music releases that feel engineered instead of inspired, and the creeping sense that nothing is allowed to just exist quietly anymore. Gary and Selena keep circling back to curiosity, discomfort, and the small observations that turn into long spirals when you follow them far enough.


    What's This Thing on My Head?! Pt 2 Jul 20, 2024
    Show notes

    Gary and Selena spiral through a late night premium conversation that starts with a mysterious bump on Gary’s head and turns into stories from death calls, serial killers, celebrity obsession, and the strange intimacy of gross curiosity. They move from popping pimples and medical anxiety into plane crashes, bus accidents, true crime figures, horror movies, and the uncomfortable fascination people have with violence and bodies. Along the way Gary and Selena talk about cannibal movies, bad luck, paranoia, internet spectacle, and how easily everyday conversations slide into morbid territory when nothing is off limits.


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