Tell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating

Aunties on the Bench: Advice from Chumps to the Newly Betrayed Feb 18, 2025

What advice would you give a new chump knowning what you know now? We heard from many listeners who had hard-won advice for the newly betrayed. How to choose who you tell, to focusing on self-protecting over reconciliation, and deep regrets about pick-me dancing. Who better to tell you than the people who lived it?

The idea for the episode was taken from the mental health nonprofit Friendship Bench. It's an organization that started in Zimbabwe to help people who were struggling with depression. They trained a league of older women to sit on public park benches and let strangers tell them their troubles. The support from these older women resulted in better health outcomes for depression than conventional therapy. A movement began.

Tell Me How You're Mighty is your friendship bench. Sit down and let us give you some advice. Save yourself some pain.

75. Cheater Non-Apology Apologies Feb 11, 2025

"I'm sorry, but you didn't like octopus," is among the more ridiculous apologies a cheater has given for being unfaithful. In this episode, Tracy and Sarah react to your submissions for lamest non-apology apologies you received. The sad sausages for whom this hurts them too, more really. Those whose only crime was wanting happiness, and how can you fault happiness? To the clueless ones who didn't realize cheating would hurt you. That wasn't their intention! So sorry (not sorry)!

74. How to Be a Supportive Friend to Someone Who Was Cheated On Feb 04, 2025

Sarah and Tracy answer a letter from a listener wondering how she can be a supportive friend to someone who is in an abusive marriage with a cheater. When should you worry about your own personal safety, or call child services? Is there anything you can do beyond standing by and listening?

73. Coercive Controllers -- An Interview with Dr. Emma Katz Jan 28, 2025

Tracy talks with domestic violence researcher Dr. Emma Katz about her book, "Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers' Lives." Many recognize violent behavior as transgressive, but more common abuse tactics fall under coercive control -- intimidatation, humiliation, isolation. The abuser's goal is to preserve their entitlement by breaking down their victim/partner's emotional state to greater depths of vulnerability and dependence.

Dr. Katz's book, published by Oxford University Press, is the first child-centric exploration of this topic. She discusses not only the damange abuser's can do, but also – most importantly – how people have broken free and their mighty stories of resistance.

72. She's 7 Months Pregnant and Caught Her Husband Sexting Jan 21, 2025

Sarah and Tracy respond to a letter from a woman who discovered her husband is sexting and on dating site while she is 7 months pregnant. She thinks he has an addiction to the validation, but still loves her. It's just that he starts cheating and gets checked out. Should she move in with her parents? She wants to know how she can be mighty now, when she feels very vulnerable.

71. Why Can't I Leave Him? Jan 02, 2025

Tracy responds to a woman, Beth, who writes in to say she can't seem to leave her partner even though she's deeply unhappy. She has shady, circumstantial evidence of cheating, but hasn't caught him. But meanwhile he's inappropriate with other women and has a porn addiction. She's not financially dependent on him, so what exactly is keeping her stuck?

70. Holiday Traditions You Don't Miss Dec 31, 2024

Sarah and Tracy learn what holiday traditions you don't miss from your cheating exes. From obnoxious mother-in-law gifted decor, to the ex who threw a fully lit Christmas tree in a fit of rage. What are you thrilled to no longer live with and what new traditions did you replace the old ones with?

69. Stupid Things People Say When You've Been Cheated On Dec 24, 2024

People say the most insensitive things when they learn you've been cheated on. Everything from the cliched "It takes two to tango" or "No one knows what goes on in a marriage" to the straight-up victim blaming of "you didn't give him enough sex." Or the self-congratulation of "I'm glad my husband would never cheat on me." Tracy and Sarah react to your gobsmacking submissions.

68. Holiday Cheater Stories Dec 17, 2024

It's time again for your holiday cheater stories. The terrible gifts, the discoveries, the yuletide double lives... Tracy and Sarah react to your FW tales. Go into the new year knowing -- you are so much better off without these freaks in your life.

67. The Unknowing Other Woman and Her Child Dec 10, 2024

A listener calls in to discuss being an unknowing Other Woman. Her cheater had three other families, as it turns out, including her child. She asks for understanding for those in complicated family situations. Children of cheaters are victims too.

66. Gender Bias in Family Court: An Interview with Dr. Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko Dec 03, 2024

In this interview with therapist Dr. Christine Cocchiola and investigative journalist Amy Polacko we discuss gender bias in family court. Both women have experienced domestic violence and in their book Framed, they shared the stories of women whose abusers weaponized the legal system against them in divorce and custody fights. Cocchiola and Polacko give pointers on what to look for before you get involved with these characters and how you can protect yourself.

65. The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards: An Interview with Jessica Waite Nov 26, 2024

After Jessica Waite's husband suddenly died of a heart attack, she discovered the extent of his double life -- long-term affairs, prostitutes, debt and drug use. In her memoir, "The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards" she describes how she survived this devastating betrayal, came to terms with her late husband's memory, raised their son alone, and rebuilt her life. She discusses with Tracy how she decided to not keep his secrets and voiced her own truth instead.

64. 10 Ways to Cope When Jerks Win Nov 19, 2024

Tracy, as Chump Lady, has made quite a study of overcoming oppressive jerks. In this recorded pep talk, she expands on a recent blog post she wrote on how to eat the shit sandwich of injustice and keep on going.

63. What Did You Replace Your Cheater With? Nov 12, 2024

A woman writes to say she swapped her cheating husband for a Roomba. Her new appliance vacuums, never gaslights her, and comes back to its home port every night. We asked: What did you replace your cheater with? We've got upgrades of every kind. And cats. A lot of cats.

62. How Did You Discover the Cheating? Oct 29, 2024

Listeners discuss how they discovered their partners were cheating. From putting spy apps on a phone, to the idiot who forgot the Ring camera was recording, to the cheater who inadvertently alerted the private investigator to what car his Schmoopie drives. Sarah and Tracy react to the cheater hijinks and how cheaters underestimate their chumps.

61. 'Cheating Is Abuse,' An Interview with Nell Hudson Oct 22, 2024

Tracy talks with writer and actress Nell Hudson about her eight-year relationship with a man who had a double life -- which she discovered on their anniversary. What he excused as another woman's infatuation with him, turned out to be an entire history of serial cheating with multiple partners. Tracy and Nell discuss the cultural narratives around infidelity, why we don't call it abuse, and what it means to be a feminist and a chump.

60. What If You Can't Escape the Affair Partner? Oct 15, 2024

In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to a letter from a woman who lives in the same small town as her ex and the affair partner -- her former friend. Worse, she has to interact with this person at her job. What's the answer? Move away or learn how to coexist? We also hear from two listeners, one with a red flag story on lying, and a mighty single dad who's crushing the sane parenting gig.

59. Red Flags of Cheating Oct 08, 2024

The furtive bathroom visits with the cell phone, strange moods, and bizzare accusations that you're cheating -- in this episode we look at all the red flags that you're with a cheater. Hindsight is 20/20, but when you look back, what were the signs?

58. Did Anyone Get Pregnant During the Affair? Oct 01, 2024

In this episode, we discuss the intersection of pregnancy and infidelity. The mistresses who got pregnant. The chumps who got cheated on while pregnant, or going through fertility treatments. The guy chumps who had to paternity test their kids. The "OMG I think I'm pregnant" Hail Mary play by mistresses to win the pick me dance. How children of affairs navigate the complicated stories of their parents. DNA surprises, half-siblings. We get into all the messiness of FWs who reproduce.

57. Who Else Did You Lose in the Divorce/Breakup? Sep 24, 2024

When you lost a cheater, who else did you lose in the breakup? People often think infidelity is just a private matter between a couple, and not a larger conspiracy, as it often turns out to be. In the end, you may lose “friends” who were affair partners, those who knew and didn’t tell you, and the Switzerland folks who don’t want to take sides. Listeners share their stories of who they lost, who they culled, and who they don't miss.

56. Should You Confront an Affair Partner? Sep 17, 2024

A woman writes in to Tracy and Sarah after suspecting that her best friend has been cheating with her now ex-husband. This friend has been cagey, unsupportive, and just admitted that she's been a cheater before. The letter writer wants to confront her friend about her behavior, but should she? Would it be better to ghost her instead? Or let it blow over?

55. Cheating Tropes and How to Defang Them Sep 10, 2024

With the recent buzz about Chump Nation in the New Yorker and the Cut, Tracy takes on the haters. Consider it a teaching opportunity. Here's three common infidelity tropes and how to defang them: Bothsiderism (What did you do to make them cheat?); Infidelity is complex (You're a black and white thinker); and Quit Playing the Victim (You're too bitter and emotional).

54. The Walls In Your House Will Sing Sep 03, 2024

Tracy talks with her 83-year old Aunt Joy about what it was like to divorce a cheater in the 1970s. A time when women couldn't get credit without their husbands' signatures, had no workplace protections, and being a single mother was considered a personal failure. Aunt Joy is famous on the Chump Lady blog for the expression "the walls in your house will sing" -- that feeling of freedom and relief when you get a toxic person out of your life. Aunt Joy shares how she rebuilt, married a fellow chump, raised a blended family, became a caregiver for 14 years after her husband suffered dementia, survived widowhood... and went ziplining for her 81st birthday.

53. Those Who Didn't 'Stay Together for the Children' Aug 27, 2024

We hear from listeners who didn't stay together for the children (or weren't able to, because one parent abandoned ship), and who raised children on their own. Despite the single parent doom and gloom warnings, the kids turned out great and homelife is peaceful. If you're in the trenches of single parenting, this episode is for you. Take it from two single moms -- (Tracy formerly, Sarah presently) -- you've got this.

52. D-Day Two Months After the Wedding Aug 20, 2024

She got married two months ago, only to discover her new husband has been cheating with his colleague -- her friend. He wants to go to Italy with the Other Woman to "explore his feelings" and wants her to wait for him. Instead, she moved out and remains heartbroken. "How can someone you love treat you this way?" Tracy and Sarah react to this guy's mindfuckery and entitlement. And the treachery of the OW.

51. Stupid Things Cheaters Say, Part 2 Aug 13, 2024

So many stupid things cheaters say, it warranted a second podcast of your submissions. The Other Woman who is "rooting" for the chump's marriage. The introspective cheater who sighs, "I just don't know how to love..." The minimization of "Hey, I'm not an axe murderer." All the stupid right here. Again.

50. Stupid Things Cheaters Say Aug 06, 2024

Cheaters say the darndest things. In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to your Stupid Sh*t Cheaters Say submissions. The suggestion that you would like the affair partner if you only knew them. The sad sausage bleatings. The cruelty of your consequences. How could you?!

49. How Did You Pick Me Dance to Win a Cheater? Jul 23, 2024

How pretty did you pick me dance to win a cheater? Did you lose weight? Up your sex game? Spend less time with the children? Were you aware you were in a life or death pick me spiral with Schmoopie, or did you sense it? In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to your pick me dance stories shared on voicemail and social media. (We picked you!)

48. Fesshole Cheater Confessions: An Interview with Rob Manuel Jul 11, 2024

Rob Manuel is the creator of the social media phenomenon FessHole, where people anonymously share their darkest, most mortifying secrets. In this episode, Rob's curated his best cheater (and wannabe cheater) confessions. The dead bedroom cheaters. The woman who wants someone to come clean her house. The guy who wants his partner to cheat on him because he's too gutless to dump his girlfriend honestly. Sarah and Tracy weigh in. Need more secrets? Check out Fesshole The Podcast.

47. A Cheater Asks for Advice Jul 09, 2024

A self-professed cheater leaves Sarah and Tracy a voicemail asking how he can make amends for being unfaithful. He doesn't wish to reconcile -- they're going to divorce. But how can he rehabilitate his image going forward as co-parents. Tracy offers some thoughts on how to kick the entitlement habit and Sarah provides the sobering, yet friendly, cynicism that this advice probably will not be followed.

46. Liars: An Interview with Sarah Manguso Jul 02, 2024

Sarah Manguso has written the ultimate chump novel: Liars. Jane is a woman who endures marriage to, and divorce from, a textbook fuckwit. It dramatizes marital betrayal, narcissistic abuse, and coercive control in a way we all know deep in our bones. Manguso says, "It’s a novel, so of course it’s all fiction—except for the parts that are true."

During the pandemic, Manguso's cheating husband abandoned her and their son. It became fodder for Liars.

She the author of nine books, most recently the novel Very Cold People. Liars, is forthcoming on July 23 from Hogarth Books in the US and August 22 from Picador in the UK. Her other books include a story collection, two poetry collections, and four acclaimed works of nonfiction: 300 Arguments, Ongoingness, The Guardians, and The Two Kinds of Decay. Her work has been recognized by a Guggenheim Fellowship and the Rome Prize, and her writing has been translated into twelve languages. She grew up in Massachusetts and now lives in Los Angeles.

45. I Should've Left When... Jun 25, 2024

Was there a moment in your relationship, before you knew about the cheating, in which you look back and regret not leaving then? In this episode, listeners answer that question. The casual cruelities. The weird absences. The disconnect from family life. And the double lives that are later revealed that make sense of it all.

44. "It's Not the Sex, It's the Deception" - The Untold Stories of the Ashley Madison Documentary Jun 18, 2024

Jake and Christine saw an announcement on the Chump Lady site for people who were impacted by the Ashely Madison hack scandal. The were both filmed for the Netflix documentary, but their stories of leaving cheaters and overcoming betrayal were not included. Jake's wife had multiple affairs on the site, and he found out when one of the affair partners contacted him. Christine discovered her boyfriend's double life and then catfished him on the dating site. These are their stories. The ones that don't end in reconciliation.

43. Sarah's Take on the Ashley Madison Netflix Documentary Jun 11, 2024

Following up from last week's episode, Sarah weighs in on her observations (and revulsions) on the Ashley Madison Neflix series. Is it possible this many serial cheaters exist? Does that guy in the pink flamingo shirt sunning himself by the poolside have any conscience? Is Noel Biderman's wife a chump or an accomplice? It's a deep vein of snark and commentary.

42. What the Ashley Madison Netflix Document Gets Wrong Jun 04, 2024

The new Netflix docuseries on the Ashley Madison hack purports to look at the complexities around infidelity. Instead, it's the same old message about reconciliaton and not judging cheaters for their sexuality. Deception -- as experienced by chumps, not Noel Biderman -- is left out of the discussion. Tracy Schorn, aka Chump Lady, riffs on the characters and missed opportunities to have a fuller conversation.

41. What Did They Do For the Affair Partner That They Didn't Do for You? May 28, 2024

In this episode we discuss how cheaters devalue their partners while simulataneously love bombing their affair partners. Listeners share stories of what their cheaters did for Schmoopies, but not them or their children. From little gestures like cooking dinner or holding hands, to outrageous injustices like stiffing your kids thousands in back child support while paying for private school for the new family -- it's an exercise in trust that they suck.

40. Worst Cheater Gifts May 14, 2024

A discounted chocolate Easter egg for a 13-year-old's birthday... weeks past Easter. American-flag themed polar fleece. The same gift the Other Woman got, only in the wrong size. In this episode Tracy and Sarah lampoon the Worst Cheater Gifts. Narcissists aren't known for their gift giving, as demonstrated by listeners' submissions of the most thoughtless and tasteless presents ever. The thought did not count.

39. Cheated On and Stranded Overseas: The Expat Chump Experience May 07, 2024

Comedian Kat moved to the UK for love over 20 years ago. Then her husband left her for his old girlfriend -- who she thought was a family friend. The kids all go to school together. Now she's divorced and stuck in her adopted home country and can't leave because of the divorce and co-parenting arrangement. And she sees the Other Woman every time she does school pickups. How do you find the humor in that?

38. One Moms Battle Divorcing a Narcissist: An Interview with Tina Swithin Apr 30, 2024

In this episode we talk with blogger/activist Tina Swithin of One Mom's Battle. Tina acted as her own attorney in a high-conflict custody battle that turned her family’s life upside down for over a decade. While divorces are never easy, Tina quickly learned that a divorce involving a narcissist takes the term, “high-conflict” to a level that few can comprehend.

37. What If You Forgive a Cheater and They Do It Again? Apr 23, 2024

Tracy and Sarah discuss the common, if depressing, problem of forgiveness and multiple D-Days. What does forgiveness mean? Is it essential to get over betrayal? Or can you move on quite fine without it? And how do you fend off forgiveness trolls -- the sorts who insist on forgiveness before you've even processed the offense?

36. Schmoopie Karma Stories Apr 16, 2024

What happens when cheater true love goes splat? In this episode, we feature your Schmoopie stories of comeuppance and karmic reckonings. Like the tree that fell on the BMW. A biblical flood. A clever dragnet and the mistress laws of Thailand. If you're moving on from infidelity, the goal is indifference toward your ex, but sometimes you want to shoot that sweet schadenfreude straight into your veins. This is that episode.

35. Co-Parenting with the Other Woman Mar 26, 2024

Sarah and Tracy react to an article chiding mothers to get along with former affair partners, now wives, for the sake of the children. It goes beyond coparenting, and encourages friendship and socializing with your ex. Much skepticism ensues. Especially from Sarah who has lived experience of this particular dilemma.

34. Ask Chump Lady Anything Mar 19, 2024

Ever wonder about the life of an infidelity advice columnist? This episode is an Ask Chump Lady Anything where Tracy Schorn takes your questions. How often do mistresses contact you? How soon do you tell someone you're dating you were once cheated on? Is too much chemistry a red flag?

33. The Infidelity Professor and His SHICRET Nonsense Mar 12, 2024

Tracy and Sarah snark at the self-declared "Infidelity Professor" Albert Arnaiz, who wrote the book SHICRET: How to Be Unfaithful Without Getting Caught. What can a man who looks like a human dildo in a salmon sports coat tell us about cheating? We have so many questions.

32. Kayden's Law: An Interview with Kathy Sherlock Mar 05, 2024

Kathy Sherlock had a protection from abuse order against her daughter Kayden's father Jeff Manusco, who had a history of violence and mental instability. The judge allowed him unsupervised visitation. In October 2018, he murdered Kayden and hung himself. This case became the catalyst for Kayden's Law, which is pending in the Pennsylvania state legislature, to reform family law statutes where there are credible allegations of abuse. Sarah and Tracy talk with Kathy about how she fought to change the court system in her daughter's honor.

Trigger warning: This episode discusses domestic violence and the murder of a child.

31. The Nonsense of Cheating Makes Marriages Stronger Feb 27, 2024

Tracy and Sarah take apart a recent People magazine "love" story entitled Cheating Saved Our Marriage! It's a common reconciliation trope that surviving infidelity makes marriages stronger. A claim Chump Lady likens to shooting off your kneecaps improving your tennis game. Enduring is one thing, improving is quite another.

30. Kyle Walker's Baby Mama Drama Feb 20, 2024

Sarah and Tracy discuss the UK cheating scandal of footballer Kyle Walker and his -- oops! -- second child with his mistress Lauryn Goodman. Betrayed wife Annie Kilner, who is pregnant with their fourth child, took Walker back after the first oops child with Goodman. But a second? Hey, he has no idea how this has happened!

29. Cheater Valentines, Bad Carnations, and Cheap Chocolate Feb 13, 2024

Welcome to a special Valentine's Day edition of Tell Me How You're Mighty! Sarah and Tracy discuss our worst Valentine's Days, smug coupledom, and a shared hatred of carnations. We read submissions from the Infidelity Valentine's poetry contest, where cheaters are immortalized in verse. (One submission is even a punk rock song.)

28. Do You Need a Private Detective? An Interview with Kenneth D'Angelo of Target Investigations Feb 06, 2024

Worried someone might be cheating on you? Got a controlling partner and the feeling that you're under survelliance? Going through a messy divorce? You may want to consider hiring a private detective. In this episode Tracy and Sarah talk with Kenneth D'Angelo, a private investigator with 31 years experience. We discuss double lives, money trails, debugging, and how to catch a cheater.

27. Spiritual Abuse and Infidelity: An Interview with David Derksen, the Divorce Minister Jan 30, 2024

It's hard to be cheated on. It's even harder when your faith community blames you for it or thinks divorce is a bigger sin than the cheating. In this episode, Sarah and Tracy talk with Rev. David Derksen, a prison chaplain, Yale Divinity school graduate, and creator of the DivorceMinister.com blog that helps victims of infidelity navigate spiritual abuse.

26. 10 Questions to Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse or Partner Jan 23, 2024

Sarah and Tracy respond to a recent Chump Lady post "10 Questions to Ask Your Unfaitfhul Spouse." Unlike a reconciliation article, these are actual questions you should ask, but will probably not get an honest answer to. "Do you buy sex?" "Did you use protection?" and "Did anyone get pregnant?" are a few we cover. We also celebrate a story of mightiness this week from a chump who went into business for herself.

25. 'A Wedding Ring Is Not a Diploma': An Interview with Shani Silver of a Single Revolution Jan 16, 2024

Shani Silver, TikToker, author of a Single Revolution, and the podcast A Single Serving, is a unique voice of support, shedding the societal shame around singlehood. With Sarah and Tracy, she gives a snarky take down of dating culture, the misogyny of "He's Just Not That Into You," and the cringiest thing anyone has ever said to her about being single. She also reacts to the FW of the Week -- an ex-boyfriend who demanded last year's Christmas present back.

24. Holiday FW Special Edition Dec 25, 2023

Happy holidays! Sarah and Tracy take your recordings of the Worst Holidays Ever spent with fuckwits. A hooker named "Holly," passive-aggressive presents, and appalling behavior -- cheaters make for terrible partners, but great gallows humor material. If you're feeling blue this holiday season, warm yourself by this fireside of dysfunction.

23. Cheaters with Dark Triad Personality Disorders: An Interview with Sandra Brown Dec 19, 2023

Sandra Brown is a pioneering therapist in narcissistic abuse recovery and the author of 12 books related to pathological love relationships. She talks to Sarah and Tracy about how to recognize dark triad personalities and why such people make dangerous partners. Her advice: it's a fool's errand to do therapy with abusers -- they don't change. But you can.

22. She Left a Cheater and Fought Off an Attacker Dec 12, 2023

Imagine going through infidelity, rebuilding your life, only to have your home invaded. Sarah and Tracy talk with Darlene, a mighty woman who has done many mighty things -- raised four successful kids, left a Jesus cheater, and fought back when a thief tried to rob her house. Darlene reacts with advice for FW of the Week -- a woman who was caregiving her mother-in-law while her husband was cheating.

21. Abandoned Wives and Runaway Husbands: An Interview with Therapist Vikki Stark Dec 05, 2023

After 21 years of marriage, one day therapist Vikki Stark's husband walked out on her. Unbeknownst to her, he'd been having an affair for six years. She thought they were happily married. The experience changed her life and her therapy practice. "He inadvertently gave me a gift. When I scraped myself up off the floor, I knew I had to help other women pick up the pieces and rebuild a better life and that has been my mission ever since!"

Sarah and Tracy ask Vikki about recovering from abandonment, her book, Runaway Husbands, and Vikki weighs in on the FW of the Week.

20. How to Prepare for a High-Conflict Divorce: An Interview with Regina DeMeo Nov 28, 2023

How do you know if you can mediate a divorce, or if you're dealing with a high-conflict individual and it's going to court? Tracy talks with family law attorney Regina DeMeo about all things messy divorce: custody, litigation abuse, and infidelity. This is an earlier recording, broadcast for a special edition of Tell Me How You're Mighty.

19. Being the Sane Parent: An Interview with Sue Atkins Nov 21, 2023

How to have hard conversations with kids about divorce and separation -- Sarah and Tracy talk with parenting expert Sue Atkins on being age appropriate and resisting the urge to "slag off" the offending ex. Sue tackles hard questions about explaining abandonment to a three year old; a teenager who won't speak to her father; and the frustrations of working with Disney parents. Bonus: She takes on the FW of the Week -- a man with an obnoxious tattoo.

18. Open Marriage, an Esther Perel 'Gift', and GPS Tracking a Cheater Nov 14, 2023

Sarah and Tracy react to three FW of the Week submissions -- a woman whose husband suggested a "quad" with his current affair partner; an unwanted gifted Esther Perel book; and a Texan who GPSed her husband's car and broadcast the discoveries.

17. Bankruptcy, Foreclosure, and Solo Parenting: 'I Survived and So Can You' -- An Interview with Jenny Ball Nov 06, 2023

Our guest Jenny Ball had four kids under 10 when her husband walked out for his affair partner and then later quit his job. At one point, she was owed $40K in back support. Jenny sold stuff on eBay to survive, had her house foreclosed upon, filed for bankruptcy and needed food banks to feed her children -- experiences that inspired her to create a support community for other single moms -- The Happy HausFrau Porch.

16. 'I Lived Through Two Divorces and a Car Jacking': An Interview with Dave Jackson: Oct 31, 2023

People know Dave Jackson as the founder of the School of Podcasting, an author, and member of the Academy of Podcasters Hall of Fame. But he's also a regular guy who's been through some hard stuff and come out the other side a compassionate person with a killer sense of humor. Sarah and Tracy talk with Dave about being chumped, divorced, and the final indignity -- getting car jacked. Bonus: Dave weighs in on the FW of the Week -- a man who disappeared while his wife was in labor.

15. Debunking the 180 and Other Bad Relationship Advice Oct 23, 2023

Sarah and Tracy take on the established save-your-marriage advice of the 180, a term coined by therapist Michelle Weiner-Davis of "Divorce Busters" fame. Gutted by betrayal? Be cheerful and attractive! Never ask questions! Don't be angry! Pretzel yourself into pleasing shapes to win a cheater. Contrary, inauthentic, and just weirdly misogynistic, we wonder is the prize worth it?

14. An Interview with Dr. Omar Minwalla: 'The Secret Sexual Basement' Oct 17, 2023

We talk with Dr. Omar Minwalla, who is unique among therapists for calling cheating a "deceptive sexuality" problem. Dr. Minwalla is a psychologist and founder of The Institute for Sexual Health and the author of the "Secret Sexual Basement." We talk about trauma and the conventional victim-blaming discourse around infidelity. And what lurks in those subterranean hideyholes.

13. Infidelity, Divorce, and Cancer: The Suck Trifecta Oct 10, 2023

Tracy and Sarah speak with Martina, a woman who divorced her cheating husband, gained a life -- only to receive a terminal cancer diagnosis a few months later. She's still here. Solo parenting her teenagers, riding horses, having adventures, and crossing many things off her bucket list. It's an emotional conversation about abandonment -- and getting your life back -- however long that is.

12. Angry, 'Codependent' Women: An Interview with Trauma Specialist, Diane Strickland Oct 03, 2023

Diane Strickland started the website YourStoryIsSafeHere.com to help wives and partners traumatized by men called sex addicts. She challenges the notion that such women are "codependent," but rather abused. Diane is a trained Canadian trauma specialist, critical incident responder, ordained pastor and was also once chumped in her former marriage. She took the skills she learned as a counselor to help others deal with their double life discoveries. Diane talks with Sarah and Tracy about codependency, productive anger, tone policing, and the sex addiction therapy industry.

11. An Interview with Dr. George Simon: How to Deal with Manipulative People Sep 21, 2023

Dr. George Simon is a psychologist and best-selling author who's been decoding manipulation for over 30 years. Tracy and Sarah ask him about his work on "character disturbance" and Dr. Simon answers a listener's question about being estranged from her family after they sided with her abusive, cheating ex-husband.

10. Getting the Hell Out of Dodge Sep 19, 2023

Sarah and Tracy talk with Nancy, a woman who pulled up stakes for a new town, a new career and a new identity after her divorce -- moving to the other end of the country to take a job as a resident "dorm mom" at a boarding school. With food and housing covered, she pocketed her paycheck, traveled on the weekends, and rebuilt her life. Her mantra: "Eat my sparkle dust!"

9. Don't Get Mad, Build an Organization Aug 25, 2023

After Christina Pavlina went through her own divorce, she helped create a nonprofit to make it easier for women to navigate the process. Pavlina is the cofounder and the executive director of Jane Does Well, a national outreach organization. Beyond social meet-ups, single mom support groups, yoga, and divorce education workshops, Jane Does Well also advocates for legislation and changes to make the family courts more accessible and fair to women. Mighty!

8. Nice or Nasty? Or How Could I Have Been So Wrong About This Person? Aug 22, 2023

A woman calls in whose husband of 30 years walked out on her before Xmas -- after his mistress gave him an ultimatum. She wants to know -- was he a nice person who turned nasty? Or was he a terrible person all the time and she was completely mistaken about a man she spent three decades with? Tracy and Sarah untangle the skein of abandonment.

7. Telling People Your Chump Story Aug 01, 2023

Sarah and Tracy discuss being public with their chump stories. Guest Paul Doncaster takes mightiness to a new level when he tells his D-Day story "The Stranger" at Moth Radio storytelling contest in front of a live audience. And his ex turns up with her boyfriend!

6. She Left Her Cheating Husband While Pregnant with Twins Jul 21, 2023

It takes a special kind of resilience to leave a cheater when you're four months pregnant with twins -- but that's exactly what our guest Alyson did. At the time, she had two other small kids at home and was the family breadwinner. She's now a mighty single mother of four and a "boss lady" at a fortune 500 firm where she leads a large team. We discuss the challenges of solo parenting and the particular horror and vulnerability of suffering a D-Day while pregnant. But also the rewards of being the sane, show-up parent.

5. Ordinary People with Extraordinary Mightiness Jul 18, 2023

Sarah and Tracy discuss the ordinary people they've met who've impressed them with their extraordinary resilience. Teasers for mighty stories to come!

4. An Interview with Andrew G. Marshall -- Is Reconciliation Possible After Infidelity? Jul 07, 2023

Sarah and Tracy interview popular British therapist Andrew G. Marshall on his views about whether a marriage can recover after infidelity. Is "affair proofing" actually a thing? We find some common ground -- and some very diverging opinions -- on what's possible when you're dealing with a deceptive partner.

3. D-Days -- Discovering Cheating, How It All Falls Apart Jun 30, 2023

D-Days -- What you do wish you'd done differently when you discovered your partner was cheating? Many of us had gut instincts to leave immediately, but got tripped up with second-guessing and cheater manipulation. Sarah and Tracy tell their surreal D-Day stories, the good advice they got, and the lousy. One listener wishes she'd catfished her ex on a date.

2. What to Do (or Not Do) When You Suspect Cheating Jun 27, 2023

Imagining the unimaginable -- what to do when you suspect cheating. Tracy tells the story how she woke up with another woman's thong stuck to her. And Sarah shares her near miss moving to Devon to "rebuild the marriage." A listener asks if it's possible to gaslight oneself by believing a cheater's lies.

1. An Introduction to "Tell Me How You're Mighty" -- The Podcast About Surviving Infidelity Jun 20, 2023

In this first episode, hosts Sarah Gorrell -- a BBC radio presenter -- and Tracy Schorn -- the writer known as Chump Lady -- discuss how they met, their chump stories, and why the world needs a different infidelity narrative. (Hint: More mightiness, less reconciliation with cheaters.)

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