We’re back for our (final??) season! After a summer hiatus, we’re finishing up season 6 of The Conners ahead of the show’s final season. (We’ll also have some classic Roseanne analysis in store this season, so please join us!) In this installment, we discuss The Conners season 6 episodes “Campaign U-Turn and a Hard Write” and “Fire and Vice.” First up, we have some shenanigans surrounding Louise’s school board campaign and Jackie’s general mania, and Ben’s jealousy toward Dan, who has an unexpected writing gig for “Hardware Magazine.” We discuss Ben’s complicated emotions toward Dan: namely, he tries to compete with him while also kind of worshipping him? In the next episode, Hardware Magazine (a name we think COULD allow a shift to adult subject matter, if the publisher were so inclined) strikes again as Ben’s substantial insurance windfall from the hardware store fire leads him to one obvious conclusion: he will buy Hardware Magazine! But… hold on, wait… couldn’t they pay off their bills and like, get jobs they actually want? Is the insurance money earmarked for hardware purposes? We’re told this is Ben’s “dream,” but like Darlene, we’re skeptical about its viability. Lastly, on a more serious note, we turn to an emotional plot line about Becky, whose new internship at a rehab clinic is seriously endangering her mental health and her recovery. It’s a relief when, just like in classic Roseanne days, Jackie steps in with a shoulder to cry on and words of support.
Join us for this plus tangents on Evil, Olympic surfing, the new Beavis and Butthead, Meryl Streep and Martin Short, Ancient Aliens and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S6 E7: All the Meals and All the Feels
Jun 06, 2024
In our latest, we start to wrap up season 6 of The Conners, discussing the episodes “Toilet Hacks and the Management Track” and “Manifesting, Marriage Testing, and Cheeseballs.” We have a lot of opinions and feelings about these lively episodes, with questions such as: Why is Darlene staging a decidedly unrealistic takeover of the college cafeteria, and then dumping all the work on poor Harris? (And isn’t it some kind of violation to haul a batch of off-site burgers into the caf?) Why does Dan decide to make extra money through the highly specific scheme of toilet-seat-screwing-on classes? Why are Ben and Darlene always manufacturing drama in their clearly close and loving relationship? (And what are Jay R. Ferguson’s hair secrets?) Oh yeah… and why, exactly, is Louise running for school board? (We still don’t get it.)
We pay special attention to the plot about Harris, who is diagnosed with ADHD and is struggling to manage the onslaught of work that her (thoughtless?) mother has piled upon her. As usual, we love to get riled up about our most vexing Conner, Darlene!
In addition, we discuss the news that season 7 will be The Conners‘ last (tears!), the bummer that is Under the Bridge, Katherine’s soon-to-be-hit song “Lady Cop,” The Most Dangerous Animal of All and the David Fincher film Zodiac (a masterpiece!), To Catch a Thief, and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S6 E6: The Mark Healy Show
May 13, 2024
In our latest, we get reflective thanks to The Conners season 6 episode “Smash and Grab and Happy Death Day,” which touches on the death of Mark Healy, husband to Becky, brother to David, and regular on the original series of Roseanne. The episode reveals Becky’s still-raw grief over losing her husband in a motorcycle accident years earlier, though we find it odd that she tells Beverly Rose he was her “special friend” rather than just level with the kid – you were married, and he was the love of your life, Becky! The frustrating shallowness of this episode’s discussion of Mark’s place in Becky’s life prompted us to go back in time to consider who Mark Healy (played by the late Glenn Quinn) really was. We’ve discussed his and Becky’s relationship and their elopement, but we’ve never really paused to study the man himself. Through a review of original series episodes “Her Boyfriend’s Back” (season 3), “Secrets” (season 4), “Busted,” (season 6), and “Becky Howser, M.D.” (season 8), we learn that Mark was—despite the bad-boy, dim-bulb personas he occasionally inhabited—an earnest, hardworking and sincere person dedicated to building a life with Becky, of whom he thought the world.
Join us for this discussion plus riffs on singing competition shows, Under the Bridge, car wash jigsaw puzzles (??), chatting with strangers, Children of the Corn, and Baby Reindeer. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S6 E5: Mysteries of Crystal, Cringe, and Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
Apr 15, 2024
In our latest, we discuss The Conners, “When Sisters Collide and the Return of the Grifter” and “Hanging in Dorms with Boys and the Secret Life of Men,” the first of which most notably features the triumphant-yet-brief return of our beloved Crystal (Natalie West), friend of Roseanne and Jackie and second wife of Dan’s father, Ed. Crystal appears amid another dispute between Dan and Neville over money, through which they eventually bond over daddy issues. We are interested in Crystal’s negative characterization of her relationship with Ed, and curious about her potentially distant relationship with Jackie. More Crystal, please! We also revisit a common Conners thread: tension between Darlene and Becky, as a fight over who’s smarter leads Darlene down a cringeworthy path to Mark’s favorite college-kid trivia night. Darlene, why are you SO embarrassing?
In the latter episode, the ever-charming Sean Astin returns as Becky’s beau Tyler – and things are getting serious! Darlene wants Ben to make more guy friends, and he and Tyler form an awkward acquaintance-ship that involves hiding out at Neville’s veterinary hospital, petting and singing to sick animals. Also, Harris is hanging around Mark’s dorm room too much and even though the boys love her, it’s WEIRD. Is Harris destined to become as embarrassing as Darlene? Say it ain’t so!
Tune in for discussion of all this as well as Maura’s strange tale of a ghostly pineapple upside-down cake, Katherine’s experience with puppy yoga, Girls 5Eva, Carol and the End of the World,The Summer I Turned Pretty,male strip clubs and what makes for good trivia. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S6 E4: 1 Tearful Adieu and 3 Terrible Ideas
Mar 22, 2024
In our latest, we discuss two somewhat strange Conners episodes, “Moms and Rats” and “Shrinks Don’t Talk and Kids Don’t Sing.” In “Moms and Rats,” we deal with the fallout from Jackie’s dumbass credit card fraud scheme (terrible idea #1). And in light of her tearful trainside goodbye with Bev, we wonder if in fact we are saying goodbye to our favorite nonagenarian for good – say it ain’t so! In the latter episode, Mark is bummed about being a lonely college commuter, but Darlene’s response, and the show’s tenuous-at-best grasp of how college works, are truly vexing. Are there solutions that could have been tried BEFORE Darlene decided to get Mark a job as a student custodian (terrible idea #2), complete with blue jumpsuit? Yes, many. The bottom line is, Darlene is cramping Mark’s growth and independence. Will the show reckon with this, or will she continue ruining Mark’s life unabated? Meanwhile, Louise is teaching music at Beverly Rose’s school and becomes embroiled in a culture war, which leads to Becky cosplaying Say Anything with a cube-shaped boombox, and Louise deciding to run for school board (terrible idea #3). Well Conners, at least you’re not boring!
In addition to mulling these new developments, we revel in the episodes’ offbeat humor, consider Becky’s potentially Old America-inspired taste in decor, and follow digressions on Maura’s suspended Facebook profile, Rosemary’s Baby, the Pittsburgh “butthole window,” Costco, and Mrs. Claus’s hairstyle. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S6 E3 Bev, Bitterness & Beyond
Mar 04, 2024
The Conners season 6 is here, and we’re diving in (albeit a little bit late) with the first two episodes, “The Publisher Cops Show Pilot” and “Valentine’s Day Treats and Credit Card Cheats”! In the first episode, we find the Lunch Box receiving the “Restaurant Rescue” treatment with special guest star Nick Offerman, and though we support anything to keep the restaurant going, we wonder if it’s all a bit abrupt. Does Harris really want to run the place? Will she have what it takes to keep it afloat? We consider emotional weight of the Lunch Box and its meaning in Conner family history, as both a connection to Roseanne and a reminder of a time at which Jackie felt truly successful and stable. We also explore familiar territory with the latest installment of the Emotional Roller Coaster of Darlene Conner, who wears her career choice to be a lunch lady with a very-Roseanne-Conner mix of defiant pride and bitterness.
In the second episode, we get to see our favorite nonagenarian – Bev Harris, played by the great Estelle Parsons! But Jackie’s making poor decisions again, parlaying a round of irresponsible spending from Bev into an extremely ill-conceived fraud scheme. The episode leaves us hanging, and we’re truly concerned – is Jackie going to go to prison? Will she be working on a chain gang before the season is out? Only time will tell.
Join us for all this plus more on our enjoyment of the show’s crude jokes, Dan and Darlene’s VERY embarrassing game of “Kiss, Marry, Kill,” Jon Stewart, Russian Doll, Ortega brand Mexican food products, and The Monkees. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S6 E2: The Case of the Disappearing Baby
Jan 21, 2024
We’re back, listeners – for real this time! Ahead of next month’s premiere of season 6 of The Conners, we’re looking at two episodes from Roseanne‘s later seasons that focus on a plot point that’s been bugging us throughout the run of this podcast: Jackie and Fred’s child, Andy. The Conners has wiped Andy from existence for reasons unknown, but a look at season 7 episode “Nine Is Enough” and season 8 episode “Let Them Eat Junk” demonstrates Jackie’s once all-consuming, unhinged and obsessive love for her now-disappeared baby. In “Nine Is Enough,” a hilarious episode that revolves around the Conners’ overcrowded house (and Dan shaving his armpits and being weird about it), Jackie’s overprotective, controlling attitude surrounding the baby has put a wall between her and Fred that never really seems to come down. In “Let Them Eat Junk,” this same parenting approach causes problems between Jackie and Roseanne, who violates Jackie’s “no junk food” rule, resulting in some soul-searching for Roseanne regarding her relationship to food, as passed down by Bev. We discuss how high-strung Jackie is in these two episodes, and how much more in line this late-Roseanne characterization is with the way she is depicted on The Conners, albeit without the presence of Andy. We also have some fun with Bev and a lively discussion of the differences between Sarah Chalke-Becky and Lecy-Becky.
Join us for all this plus digressions on Willem Dafoe (his charm and small stature). Beef, The Bear, our hatred for Incubus, May December, Loudermilk, the terrifying 1845 children’s book Struwwelpeter, Frog and Toad, and Cher’s Christmas song. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S6 E1: Chicken & Rodbell’s
Oct 24, 2023
Greetings, long-lost listeners – we’re back for season 6! Though the SAG-AFTRA strike continues and The Conners is indefinitely on hold (and we support the striking actors – give them what they deserve, ya greedy bastards!), we’re starting slow this season with some relevant Roseanne reflections. In the spirit of the summer of labor, we take a look at two deeper cuts from the original series that deal with job woes: “Chicken Hearts” (season 2) and “Like, A New Job” (season 3). The first of the two revolves around Roseanne’s employment at a degrading fast-food chicken joint where she has a total American Psycho of a teenage boss; the second, which takes place in our favorite-ever-fake-restaurant Rodbell’s, depicts Roseanne’s struggle to cede control at home to Dan while working long hours. We discuss the theme that dominates these episodes – the struggle of raising a family while working menial jobs that don’t even treat you like a human being – and we also consider Roseanne’s tendency to vilify middle management types as stand-ins for corporate America or government.
Join us for this discussion plus digressions on What We Did On Our Summer Vacation, Becky’s Fabio hair, Darlene’s “big butt” jokes, wooden console TVs, and smoking on TV. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S5 E12: Finale Feelings
Jun 06, 2023
In our latest episode, we finish out season 5 of The Conners, discussing three Mark-related episodes: “What’s So Funny Bout Peas, Love and Understanding,” “Dating, Drinking and Grifter Logic,” and “The Grad Finale.” As Mark graduates from high school, we consider his role in the family as the one expected to achieve a type of conventional success no Conner has: attend a 4-year college and graduate. We’re dubious about Darlene’s decision to work in the college cafeteria in order to get a break on tuition, but it squares with her desire to give Mark the kinds of advantages she never had. We’re excited for Mark, and we DO hope he majors in the humanities (ahem, BEN)! We ruminate on a few other storylines — Dan and Neville’s conflict over money, Sean Astin as Becky’s new beau, Mark’s overbearing suitor James — before coming to perhaps this group of episodes’ most significant plot point: Mark’s non-relationship with his father, David. We air our confusion and frustration over the direction The Conners has taken David’s character — to full deadbeat dad territory — when we have such residual fondness for David Healy, and we discuss Mark’s rollercoaster of emotions when it comes to his dad and his stepdad.
Join us for these discussions plus digressions on Katherine’s recent experience in the Hamptons, Jaclyn Smith for Kmart, sweatpants, cocktails, and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!
S5 E11: Big Rigs, Bodysuits, and the Rock-afire Explosion
May 18, 2023
We’re winding down season 5 of The Conners on our latest episode, discussing “Road Trip and Guilt Trip” and “Text Thread and the Marital Bed.” These two minor episodes don’t have too much to offer, though they do provoke plenty of speculation about topics including exactly how recently Jackie revived her career in the big rigs, whether there is an agreed-upon strategy for married couple finances, if an iPhone 4 would actually even work anymore, and most importantly, whether Chuck E. Cheese left his former ShowBiz Pizza bandmates to become the Foo Fighters to their Nirvana (or the Frasier to their Cheers). We enjoy more of Sara Gilbert’s tomfoolery this season and she cavorts around the living room in a leopard-print bodysuit, and we discuss Katherine’s love of another bodysuit-heavy program, Physical with Rose Byrne.
Join us for this random chatter plus even MORE randomness on the travesty that is the new Fatal Attraction series, our love of bad songs “I Wanna Kiss You All Over” and “She Drives Me Crazy,” Basic Instinct and the fantastic new season of You Must Remember This, Are You There God, It’s Me Margaret? and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S5 E10: Nielsen Family Values
Apr 23, 2023
In our latest, we discuss The Conners season 5 episode “The Contra Hearings and the Midnight Gambler” alongside a classic Roseanne from season 7, “Couch Potatoes.” In particular we compare the plot of the family trying to impress Mark’s music teacher – played by guest star Whoopi Goldberg – with the memorable Roseanne moment when the Conners were selected to be a Nielsen family and have their TV-watching habits monitored. These plots both follow one of the shows’ favorite themes: that the Conner family is, as Roseanne puts its, “white trash and we’re gonna stay white trash until they haul us out to the curb.” We consider Roseanne’s and Darlene’s attempts to fit into a “classier” or more highbrow echelon of society, and how through the generations, the Conners seem to become more and more secure in embracing who they are.
Join us for this discussion plus Becky’s short-lived gambling addiction, Ben and Darlene as Peanuts characters, our love for Sister Act, disturbing novelty t-shirts, the 2019 BBC series Dublin Murders, and much more.
S5 E8: Designated Basket Case: Family Trauma in Roseanne
Mar 03, 2023
In our latest episode, we take a look back at two classic Roseannes that focus on Roseanne and Jackie’s father Al Harris: “This Old House” and “Wait ‘Til Your Father Gets Home.” These are two of the series’ most memorable episodes, as they reveal the physical abuse Roseanne and Jackie suffered as children and chronicle their efforts to heal — a process still ongoing for Jackie and Bev in The Conners. We consider the way trauma from the past seemed to shape Roseanne and Jackie’s lives, as well as how recent revelations on The Conners shape our own understanding of these episodes and all that remains unspoken about the Harris family.
We also discuss Roseanne Barr’s own public revelation, in 1991, that she was sexually abused by her parents — an accusation she partially retracted in the 2010s — and how she seemed to be wrestling with her own past during the years these episodes aired. We also talk about Roseanne’s then-partner Tom Arnold, who was seen at the time as riding Roseanne’s coattails but whose own childhood pain inspired a key part of “Wait ‘Til Your Father Gets Home.”
While this conversation can get a bit heavy, we have our comedic diversions as always, including string cheese, Barbra Streisand’s basement mall, MTV Beach House memories and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!
S5 E7: Caretaking and Memory-Making
Feb 24, 2023
In our latest, we catch up with The Conners episodes “Stuck in the Middle and Stuck in the Past” and “New Pipes and Old Secrets,” both of which address issues of aging, memory, and child-parent dynamics. First of all, we have some fun with Ben, Darlene and Becky’s feud, including imagining David’s dynamic with Ben (should Johnny Galecki EVER return). We also revel in the show’s newfound willingness to refer to Roseanne openly and deal with her absence directly – an issue that comes up both in the plot about Dan’s loneliness and anxiety and Jackie’s efforts to find a caretaker for Bev. Most of all, we’re interested in the issues dredged up by Bev’s plotline – in particular new revelations about her abusive marriage and wounds that have yet to heal. Have we mentioned our love for amazing national treasure Estelle Parsons?
Join us for these discussions, plus enthusiasm for Poker Face and Party Down, the opposite of enthusiasm for berets, and Maura and Katherine’s memories of visiting Wisconsin Dells, midwestern Xanadu, as children. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!
S5 E6: Tales from the Lobo
Feb 03, 2023
In our latest episode, we discuss The Conners “Two More Years and a Stolen Rose,” which takes us all the way back to season 1 Roseanne with a reference to “Dan’s Birthday Bash,” an episode in which Dan’s birthday devolves into two fights — one with a snow-plowing brute named Bobo (Eric Allen Kramer) and the other with an even scarier adversary: Roseanne herself. In “Two More Years,” Dan meets up with a wealthy former classmate (William H. Macy) at the memorial for his beloved high school English teacher and has to face facts about his life — plus another close encounter with the one and only Bobo! While side-eye-ing the somewhat convoluted plot (they are just NOW, at 60-something years old, receiving letters they wrote to themselves in high school??) and previously-unheard-of character Smitty, we cheer the revival of our much-beloved Lobo Lounge, the dive bar that has lived in our hearts all these years. We analyze the connections between these two episodes from over 30 years apart and what they tell us about Dan Conner, his evolution, and the anxieties he seems to return to again and again.
Join us for this rousing discussion plus a bit on Becky and Darlene’s living situation, our disappointment in Wednesday, the throwback trend of “case-of-the-week” TV, and more.
S5 E5: A Merry Merry Conners Omnibus
Dec 20, 2022
Happy holidays from 714 Delaware St! For this last installment of 2022, we’re discussing the year’s final four episodes of The Conners, exploring plots from Darlene’s job woes to Louise at the Lunch Box, from Harris’s hobo boyfriend to Beverly Rose’s new persona (Pancake the dog), and most important of all, Mom stuff: between Louise and Doris (Jane Curtin) and Jackie and Bev (the great and amazingly vivacious Estelle Parsons, age 95!). We’re overjoyed to see Bev back even though it is under difficult circumstances for the character, and we discuss the way Jackie’s relationship with her mother — and her own understanding of that relationship — has been thoughtfully rendered in The Conners. We also get to talk about some more Roseanne callbacks that have come up in season 5 — thank you for this, Conners writing staff! Join us for this epic 2022 wrap-up, plus digressions on Lindsay Lohan in Falling for Christmas, Tia Mowry Lifetime movie A Very Vintage Christmas, our thoughts on couches, baloney, and Christmas shopping, and much more. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S5 E4: The Meaning of Halloween
Dec 11, 2022
Yes, we know it’s almost Christmas — but we need to take a moment to reflect on Halloween. In this episode, we discuss The Conners “A Little Weed and a Bad Seed” and “Book Bans and Guillotine Hands,” this season’s Halloween episode that is tinged with Roseanne nostalgia and a bit of melancholy. We discuss the show’s increasing references to Roseanne, with Darlene and Becky both struggling to set aside a need to please and channel their mother’s more confrontational nature, and Dan trying to keep Halloween traditions alive despite his family’s apathy. We also take another look at Roseanne season two Halloween episode “BOO!”, which shows the beginnings of the Conner family’s Halloween obsession, and the origins of Becky’s understanding of the holiday. Join us for these topics plus digressions on Celebrity Rehab (aka “feel-bad TV”), Wednesday, The Watcher, book banning, recent film recommendations, and the psychedelic 1970s educational characters the Letter People. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!
S5 E3: Is Season 5 The Conners’ Best?
Nov 17, 2022
In this installment of 714 Delaware St., we barrel through this season’s first four Conners episodes in order to catch up with our favorite family. We laugh (a lot), we cry, we cringe, and we ask the question: could season 5 be when The Conners finally hits its stride? We’re loving Darlene and Ben’s chemistry, Jackie and Neville the odd couple, Harris’s personal growth, and the fact that we’re getting more of that classic Roseanne-style “hangout” content and silliness we love. Plus, Mark and Harris are getting drunk to Morrissey and Mary’s got a boyfriend — could it be the show is finally serving up the teen plotlines we all deserve? Will Mark flip the bird in the senior photo? Will Mary write her own “To Whom It Concerns”? It all remains to be seen. We hope you’ll enjoy this easygoing season along with us.
Come for The Conners, stay for talk of Katherine’s new Peleton, Shannen Doherty in the 2010 Hallmark classic Growing the Big One, our thoughts on both Sting and Chicago, the definition of “Rocker energy,” and our conflicted feelings on Morrissey. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S5 E2: Roseanne Road Trip!
Oct 26, 2022
Dear listeners, we are back from our long fights against illness to finally bring you episode 2! We’re putting the Conners on pause for a moment to take a look back at some classic Roseanne — and who doesn’t love a road trip? We’ve selected two special episodes, season 4’s “Kansas City, Here We Come” and season 8’s “The Getaway, Almost,” that both feature Roseanne and Jackie hitting the road for some sisterly bonding, complex emotional and family shit, and Riot Grrrl music. In “Kansas City,” the women find out their father has been having a long-term affair and pile into Jackie’s big-rig to go meet his mistress. We discuss this episode’s incredible writing and performances, and consider how much of the Harris family story comes together in these mere 22 minutes. We also look at how its subtle feminism compares to the much more in-your-face “The Getaway,” which acts as Thelma and Louise reference, Riot Grrrl primer, and mid-1990s pop culture handbook all at once. And: Jenna Elfman as Garland, the least edgy Riot Grrrl with the perfect ’90s shag! Slide on into the passenger seat and ride along with us! Plus digressions on Jeffrey Dahmer-related programming, Halloween faves, Thelma and Louise‘s continued relevance, Amy Sherman-Palladino’s genius for family dynamics, and more!
S5 E1: Multiple Marriages/Maniacs
Sep 29, 2022
Dear listeners: Ready or not, we are back again for a FIFTH season of Conners madness! As usual, we’re playing catch up, recapping the final two episodes of season 4, “Three Ring Circus,” and “A Judge and a Priest Walk into a Living Room…” That’s right – The Conners is celebrating yet another wedding, this time a double (almost triple)! We debate whether the show’s insistence on these kinds of attention-grabbing plots points has it creeping into Roseanne-season-9-territory, and lament the fact that The Conners continually seems to introduce new characters with potential only to quickly throw them away (like Aldo). We also can’t help but do what we do best: harp. Mainly on the fact that Jackie’s previous marriage to Fred (and baby Andy) seems to have been wiped clean from the Roseanne-a-verse. But why, we ask, WHY?! Of course, there are some things to enjoy about these episodes, particularly the hilarious Joe Walsh, the presence of Jerry Gergich from Parks and Rec (Jim O’Heir), Harris as tattoo artist, and some cute sisterly moments between Becky and Darlene.
We also follow some delightful tangents on subjects such as the extremely risqué British dating show Naked Attraction, Netflix’s The Sandman, Catholicism, Casio keyboard demo songs, and the Quantum Leap reboot. Join us!
NOTE: We had some audio and connection issues this episode and we know they are obnoxious to the ear. We apologize for the poor sound quality! The issues will be fixed for episode 2.
S4 E13: When a Ghost House Isn’t Good Enough (and Other Stories)
Jun 05, 2022
In our latest episode, we start to wind down season 4 of The Conners with a close look at “Big Negotiations and Broken Expectations” and “The Best Laid Plans, a Contrabassoon, and a Sinking Feeling.” First we confront a new frontier in Dan and Louise’s relationship, as they have their first serious fight as a married couple. (We have to say, we’re mostly on Team Louise, even if she did foolishly suggest that Dan renovate a house). We also continue to follow Darlene’s funeral-home-renovating adventure, which leads her to request a raise and say some not-very-Marxist things about the line workers at Wellman. This causes us to once again ask: Really, Darlene? But one thing we actually AREN’T judgmental about is Darlene and Ben’s reconciliation, which was a long time coming. They both have their issues, but we’re rooting for these two kids — and we hope they get their his-and-hers sinks! We’re also rooting for Mark, who has a notion in his head that he must learn the contrabassoon, and he must learn it from Bev’s friend Doc Brown, a.k.a. Christopher Lloyd, who is a snob and a half. To which we say: DON’T TEASE US WITH BEV, Conners writers, unless Estelle Parsons is going to appear before our very eyes!
Tune in for all this plus our discussions of the logistics of Ben’s beard trimming, Katherine’s hatred of Ketchup, and our deep and undying love for Heartstopper, Kit Connor, Olivia Coleman, and…everything else about Heartstopper. Did we mention we love Heartstopper? Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify!
S4 E12: Come back to the Lunch Box, Jackie Dean
May 09, 2022
In our latest episode, we dive into The Conners season 4 episode 16, “Gas Pump, House Dump, and a Stew Volcano.” While we must first mull over Darlene and Becky’s very strange decision not to move right into the beautiful Victorian funeral home Patton Oswalt has basically handed them (young Darlene would love to live in a funeral home!), we focus mostly on the episode’s story involving Jackie and her crisis over the Lunch Box. Feeling overwhelmed by the work of managing the restaurant and simultaneously concerned by the lack of customers, Jackie enlists Ben’s help in making a perfectly bonkers commercial. This prompted us to look back at a couple of Roseanne original series episodes, season 5’s “Pretty in Black” and “Looking for Loans in All the Wrong Places,” which chronicle the beginning’s of Roseanne, Jackie, Nancy (and ultimately Bev) opening the restaurant. We analyze the meaning of The Lunch Box in Jackie’s life and consider how it’s perhaps her greatest success — her own original idea, come to fruition not once but twice.
Join us for these Lunch Box memories plus our thoughts on gas station TVs, Cap’n Crunch, sentimental sitcom music, George W. Bush’s art, and how much we love Patton Oswalt. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts or Spotify!
S4 E11: A Very Special Conners Catch-Up
Apr 22, 2022
We’re back, baby! 714 Delaware St. was on a brief hiatus but now we’re catching up with trifecta of Conners episodes: “Sex, Lies, and House Hunting,” “Triggered,” and one with a long title that starts with “Miscommunication.” First, we delve into the lives and loves of Becky and Darlene, pleased to see Becky kicking the loser Professor Glen-Glen to the curb, and excited at the prospect of the Conner girls moving out of the family home (but you KNOW there will be drama). Meanwhile Ben keeps coming around like an obvious blob-vious, and it seems likely he and Darlene will reconcile. We’re also happy to see old favorite Chuck (James Pickens Jr.), who is unfortunately dealing with his wife’s illness, and we celebrate the Return of Louise.
But one of these episodes is not like the others, so we must spend some time mulling the Very Special Episode “Triggered,” which handles the issue of gun violence somewhat effectively, if not subtly. We debate whether the episode is an accurate reflection of the working-class family we know and love, and whether it feels jarring dropped between two serial stories.
Join us for this in-depth discussion plus our thoughts on Benedetta, Lindsay Lohan, Criminal Minds, Kid 90, active shooter drills, and the wilds of Waffle House. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S4 E10: A Legacy of Snooping
Mar 10, 2022
In our latest installment, we discuss The Conners episode “Hot for Teacher and Writing a Wrong,” in which Becky falls for her psychology professor (Matt Walsh) and Darlene accuses Mark of selling drugs — when he’s actually selling college admissions essays. We cringe as Becky’s interest in education gives way to questionable “feelings for” a professor she barely knows, and hope this doesn’t jeopardize her studies. We also consider Darlene’s Roseanne-esque tendency to snoop behind Mark’s back, and compare her plot line with the Roseanne season two episode “No Talking,” in which Roseanne searches Becky’s room and is tempted to read her diary. We ponder whether Darlene is a more permissive parent than Roseanne and analyze the generational differences between Becky and Mark’s 14-year-old drama: Becky’s “leave me alone, I hate you” approach vs. Mark’s the tell-the-truth and offer a rational explanation approach.
Join us for all this plus Maura’s detailed thoughts on Olympic figure skating and discussions of teacher-student relationships, diaries, and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!
S4 E9: Darlene’s Dilemma
Feb 14, 2022
In our latest episode, we discuss The Conners S4 E11, “Patriarch’s and Goddesses,” a great hangout episode which features the one and only JOE WALSH of The Eagles (as Aldo’s dad). We revel in this old-school storyline that features Walsh’s character drinking beer with Dan, mooching, rambling, and ultimately jamming (with John Goodman on harmonica) over the closing credits. Just like the old days! (Spoiler alert: Katherine admits she likes the f-ckin’ Eagles.) We also enjoy this episode’s thoughtful Darlene storyline, in which she’s unable to handle Ben’s new lady-friend and must grapple with her difficulties in making the relationship work. This caused us to look back to a Darlene-centric episode from the original series, “Daughters and Other Strangers,” in which Darlene once again puts up a tough front to hide the fact that she’s scared to go to art school without David.
Join us for this Darlene deep-dive plus our thoughts on the following: natural deodorant, patchouli, and memories; what makes a good ’80s night; why Pat Benetar is always on the radio constantly all the time; the white wine age-cheapness continuum; and why Ghost World is our fave. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts!
S4 E8: Don’t Go Chasin’ Waterbeds
Jan 20, 2022
In our new episode, we discuss The Conners “Three Exes, Role Playing and A Waterbed” and “Spills, Pills and The Midnight Lasagna” — but first, we have to get down to business re: our sadness over the recent passing of so many icons of television, music and film, particularly Betty White and Ronnie Spector (little-known fact: Ronnie sang the theme song to Roseanne Barr’s short-lived cartoon show Little Rosey!). We also dig into all the great stuff we’ve been watching over the holidays, namely Yellowjackets and The Beatles: Get Back. We’re head over heels for these shows and we’ll shout it from the rooftops!
But we’re also enjoying The Conners, especially these two zippy episodes that seem, frankly, inspired by our podcast, from the waterbed storyline and very familiar comforter (The Conners, WHY ARE YOU STEALING OUR MEMORIES) to Darlene’s decision to call it quits with the man we have taken to calling Fake Fred Savage. As usual, we enjoy dissecting Darlene’s relationship woes, praising Jay R. Ferguson’s hair, and sinking our teeth into some excellent storylines involving Jackie and Neville and Mark’s Saved by the Bell-esque obsession with pills (he’s so excited…he’s so…scared!). Flop down on your Big Sur waterbed and sail away with us! Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts.
S4 E7: Holiday Tidings & Heavy Furniture
Dec 17, 2021
We’re dropping one final episode before the holidays! Join us for a discussion of The Conners episode “Yard Sale, Phone Fail, And a College Betrayal” in which Dan finds it hard to part with his and Roseanne’s old bedroom set from Montgomery Ward. We saw fit to pair this with a hidden gem from Roseanne season 1, “Canoga Time,” a fun and cozy episode in which Dan and Roseanne try to part with some of their beloved old kitsch in service of a rummage sale. We consider the connections between these two episodes and the meaning that kitsch objects and furniture seem to hold in both Roseanne and The Conners, and we also have fun diving into these episodes’ b-plots — from Jackie and Booker (George Clooney!) to Darlene and her new beau who, according to Katherine, has the personality of “a styrofoam cup.”
As usual, we can’t help to branch out to other topics, and begin with an in-depth discussion of the Hallmark/Lifetime/Netflix holiday movie-making machine, including takes on new films Love Hard and Single All the Way as well as favorites Snowglobe with Christina Milian (2007), TheChristmas Setup with Fran Drescher (2020), and the elusive Shannen Doherty pumpkin fable Growing the Big One (2010). Happy holidays to our listeners!
S4 E6: Mothers and Daughters and Birth Control Pills
Dec 09, 2021
In our latest, we discuss The Conners episode “Let’s All Push Our Hands Together for the Stew Train and The Conners’ Furniture” (ugh, that title!) in tandem with one of Roseanne‘s most memorable Very Special Episodes, “A Bitter Pill to Swallow,” in which Becky asks Roseanne to help her get birth control pills. We take a close look at Darlene and Harris’s fraught relationship and how they might be able to mend it after years of choosing control and defiance over mutual understanding and compassion. We compare Darlene’s parenting with Roseanne and Dan’s strategies (with Jackie’s help) in navigating Becky’s choice to have a sexual relationship with Mark and, above all, take responsibility for her life and health. We also can’t help but tie the conversation around birth control and women’s choices in these episodes to the threats currently facing abortion rights in this country. Join us as we dig deep into these mother-daughter dynamics and issues of women’s agency, plus discussion of Designing Women, Murder, She Wrote, and our dislike of fake Fred Savages.
S4 E5: A Vest, A Young Guest, and Darlene is a Pest
Nov 21, 2021
In this episode, we discuss two very different recent episodes of The Conners. The first is “Peter Pan, The Backup Plan, Adventures in Babysitting, and a River Runs Through It,” a sort of non-Halloween episode that attempts to catch us up on storylines from Darlene’s spiritual quest (Darlene, you’re still doing it wrong) to Becky’s new life as a college student, Emilio’s new girlfriend, Harris’s romance with Aldo (whose children are portrayed as nerd-serial-killer hybrids), and Dan’s somewhat odd obsession with virtual reality. The second and our favorite, “Young Love, Old Love, and Take This Job and Shove It,” introduces one of the first in-depth storylines focusing on the now-teenage Mark, who develops a reciprocated crush on a young, Moonstruck-quoting goth lad named Logan. Join us as we plunge into these storylines as well as such compelling topics as vests and the women who love them (us), Kieran Culkin, The Babysitters’ Club, Saved by the Bell, and Katherine’s obsession with Cher’s aerobics phase.
S4 E4: Lanford Bridal
Nov 02, 2021
It’s the big day for Dan and Louise — the first official wedding on The Conners in the episode “The Wedding of Dan and Louise”! We analyze this episode’s frenzied path to the altar and discuss its relationship with the two most momentous Roseanne original series wedding episodes, “Altar Egos” (Jackie + Fred’s) and “The Wedding” (David + Darlene). As usual, there’s a whole lot happening on the The Conners — Louise is getting cold feet, Darlene and Ben are sniping at each other, Becky and Mikey are doing it in the bathroom, Brian Austin Green is being a charming idiot, and Harris is dating a man we’re pretty sure is Kato Kaelin. We wish for a little more time for reflection for Dan and Louise, whose vows are interrupted by the slowest-moving tornado in history, and for some more Louise-centric scenes, while appreciating some consistent character dynamics and relationship reverberations from the original series through the present-day Conners. Meander with us through all this and additional discussion of Halloween, The L Word: Generation Q, the new Child’s Play series, and the homoerotic camp masterpiece Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!
S4 E3: Simple Pastor Energy
Oct 23, 2021
In this episode, we catch up on The Conners season 4 episodes “Education, Corruption, and Damnation” and “Sober Sex, Plastic Silverware, and Losing My Religion” – and boy, are these some episodes! We’re reeling from Darlene’s pinball-style emotions, and we’re skeptical of her sudden interest in seeking counsel from a pastor, played by Jason Alexander with a soft southern accent and strong, presumably accidental whiff of untrustworthiness. (In short: he’s not giving Simple Pastor Energy, but rather George Costanza Energy.) We also cringe our way through Becky’s awkward tryst with her friend Mikey, and wonder how exactly this is going to help her on her sobriety journey. Join us as we ride the roller coaster of Conner family emotions and deal with our own complicated (mostly negative) feelings about pastors and other clergy. And stick around for tangents on the camp classic Sal Mineo film Who Killed Teddy Bear?, the new Brittany Murphy documentary, Nine Perfect Strangers, Scream 2 and more. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!
S4 E2: Thank You for Being a Conner!
Oct 04, 2021
In this episode, we kick off The Conners fourth season with a recap of the gimmicky live episode “Trucking Live in Front of a Fully Vaccinated Studio Audience.” We ask the important questions, like, Why are the Conners obsessed with the word “trucking,” and does it have to do with Jackie’s big-rig experience? Why is Ben such a threatening hipster werewolf? Why is Brian Austin Green so charming? Does Louise REALLY want a fancy wedding cake? Why does Darlene care about the opinion of a psychic — and has the world gone mad? Needless to say, we’re not too thrilled about Darlene’s sudden interest in religion and spirituality, prompted by nothing more than the fact that Ben is an asshole and a psychic told her she had no “light.” We consider the Conners’ history with religion, and where the show might be going with this storyline. Join us for these debates plus forays into topics such as David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, Netflix’s Fear Street series, minor league baseball, and dim-witted assistant managers. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcasts!
S4 E1: “Rosey” Knows Best
Sep 22, 2021
We’re back! We’ve missed you, dear listeners, and we’re excited to embark on the FOURTH season of 714 Delaware St.! On this first episode, we take a deep dive into some Roseanne episodes from the series’ later run, when the show was somewhat preoccupied with referencing the “golden age” television sitcoms that Roseanne Barr and her contemporaries grew up on, like Father Knows Best, Leave it to Beaver, and Gilligan’s Island. We were inspired in part by the new dark comedy Kevin Can F*ck Himself, which similarly engages with the traditional family sitcom, and the biases and retrograde perspective baked into its formula. Throughout its run, Roseanne made a point of reveling in its own deviations from this formula while at the same time emphasizing its place in family sitcom history. This is especially evident in the episodes “All About Rosey: The Clip Show,” in which Roseanne meets a group of sitcom moms from the past; “Sherwood Schwartz: A Loving Tribute,” which revolves around a funny-but-bizarre Gilligan’s Island spoof; and The Fifties Show, which reimagines Roseanne as a Father Knows Best-style wholesome sitcom, with black-and-white format, cigarette commercials and all. We hope you’ll enjoy this academic and nostalgic trip into some truly weird Roseanne before we move on to the new season of The Conners – listen & subscribe!
S3 E13: You Don’t Have to Live in a Hardware Store (and other lessons)
Jun 16, 2021
It’s the last episode of our third season, and we’re wrapping up The Conners season 3 as well, discussing “Jeopardé, Sobrieté, and Infidelité” and “Two Proposals, a Homecoming, and a Bear.” Big things are happening for the Conners, including one engagement, one thwarted proposal, a successful rehab stint, a return from Afghanistan, a Jeopardy loss turned into a gain, a budding tattoo career, and a whole lot of complaining from a certain hirsute someone about how he HAS TO LIVE IN A HARDWARE STORE. You’ve unrolled your own sleeping bag, Ben, and now you have to lie in it. (Except you don’t, though – get an apartment and stop your bitching!) We contemplate lessons learned (or not learned, ahem Darlene) by our favorite characters this season, and look ahead to what’s coming in season 4.
We share our joy about Dan moving on with Louise, though it does bring up some capital-F Feelings – mainly regarding how we miss Roseanne Conner and the warm center she brought to the family. We contemplate how The Conners has evolved without a matriarch while still remaining close to the strong POV of the original series, which was rooted in Roseanne Barr’s comedy.
Join us for this season 3 wrap up before our summer hiatus. And don’t worry, dear listeners – we’ll be back and better than ever for season 4! Thank you for watching with us!
S3 Ep 12: Blue Blockers
Jun 02, 2021
We’re talking here about the 17th and 18th episodes of season 3 of the Conners (“Regrets, Rehabs, and Realtors” and “Cheating, Revelations, and a Box of Doll Heads,” respectively). We are struck by the serious, emotional moments in these episodes. Becky’s struggle with alcoholism and her trip to Jewish rehab (an infinitely awkward plot point), in particular, brings us to reckon with the elder Mark’s death, Dan’s anger, and Becky’s regrets about her life choices. This also brings up powerful memories for Jackie, who reminds Becky about the family legacy of alcoholism, connecting with the original series storyline about Roseanne and Jackie reckoning with their father’s violence and alcoholism.
We very much take sides with Darlene about her desire to use the Hawaii tickets, rather than sell them. Brian Austin Green, on a field trip out of Beverly Hills, also agrees. Ben is such a stick in the mud, and his mother, Barb (welcome back, Candace Bergen) is a presumptuous maniac, as she confronts Dan about getting help with the mortgage from his kids, effectively keeping her son from happiness. We note the middle-class moral framework embedded in Barb’s perception of familial mutual aid as exploitation. All of this leads Darlene to question whether she and Ben really want the same things.
All the while, Mark looks amazing in his Peter Bogdanovich-style blue blockers. Sadly, these specs reflect Darlene’s clumsy effort to help Mark cheat on a Zoom exam in a bit of added political commentary about class privilege and education. Of course, we spiral about Operation Varsity Blues, scholarships for surprising college sports (sailing?!), and motivational posters.
We top the discussion with a reflection on the reconciliation of JLo and Ben Affleck, aka Bennifer 2.0. Our viewing roundup explores the joy of entering the time capsule of 1970s and 80s New York in the Sons of Sam docuseries, as well as Designing Women alumna Jean Smart’s re-entrance into TV consciousness in the new show Hacks.
S3 E11: Good Golly, Miss Molly
May 11, 2021
Join us for our latest installment, in which we discuss two recent episodes of The Conners, “An Old Dog, New Tricks and a Ticket to Ride,” and “A Fast Car, a Sudden Loss and a Slow Decline.” These episodes serve up a major dose of nostalgia in the form of Molly Tilden (played by Danielle Harris, she of the coveted ’90s mall bangs and child-star ubiquity who grew up to become “the Natalie Portman of horror,” according to an unverified Wikipedia quote). We follow these episodes’ two main storylines — one involving Darlene and Molly, the other Becky’s struggle with alcohol — dipping into some classic season 5 Roseanne memories along the way. We lament narrative inconsistencies (where is CHARLOTTE), Molly’s quick exit, and Ben’s lack of compassion while reveling in the chemistry between Molly and Darlene as they forge an unlikely friendship fueled by a night at the biergarten. Throw back a few Warsteiners with us as we chat about all of these FEELINGS plus Superstore, our love of Kids in the Hall and what makes movies about incest so damned compelling. Listen & subscribe on Apple podcasts!
S3 E10: Bad Omens and Baywatch Nights
Apr 28, 2021
Herein we talk about the Conners as though they are real people once again. We return to Lanford to discover that Louise has COVID! As the family put together a Covid care package for her, we get a chuckle out of their collection of late Blockbuster DVDs. Darlene’s confession about visiting the indoor hotel pool to relax throws us for a loop. We doubt that such a humid mildew party would be very relaxing. Jackie confronts a bad Yelp reviewer at a beer garden, and Neville gets stern about her domineering behavior. We question Conner family counsel, as Jackie and Darlene advise Becky to lie to an old friend. We laugh at well-placed Henry David Thoreau jokes, complain about unrealistic plot points, such as the notion that the Conners would have a can of tuna on the verge of expiring. That’s not a thing! Oh, but Dan’s new camper is so cute– did he inherit it from Arnie? Did Arnie die? Can we know what’s up with Arnie? There’s more bad Conner-munication, as Dan demands to be Ben’s partner at the hardware store, and the two men with Daddy Issues square off over their pride.
S3 E9: The Anxiety Years
Apr 04, 2021
In our latest episode, we do our best to catch up with The Conners by discussing “Panic Attacks, Hardware Store and Big Mouth Billy Bass” and “A Stomach Ache, A Heartbreak and a Grave Mistake.” We delve into the show’s realistic depiction of Darlene’s anxiety (featuring Dr. Fred Savage to the rescue!) as well as our own anxiety (Zoom-related and not), imposter syndrome and its relationship to class and gender. We also analyze Ben’s frustrating white-dude hubris, his relationship with Dan, and Jay R. Ferguson’s talent (he DID graduate from Evening Shade University). We also revel in the second episode’s Roseanne-centric plotline, featuring our beloved Patton Oswalt and a fun subplot involving Becky, Harris, Fatal Attraction, and coffee-table books. Join us for all this plus some extra nonsense about massages, furniture-store props, and fake maple syrup.
S3 E8: A Marvelous Night for a Moondance
Feb 22, 2021
In our latest episode, we catch up on The Conners with recaps of “Promotions, Podcasts and Magic Tea” and “Who Are Bosses, Boats and Eckhart Tolle?” We’re happy Darlene’s got a promotion (though a bit confounded by her managerial style) and even happier that the increasingly hairy Ben is following in our podcasting footsteps. But did he really have to “quit” Instacart? Plus, Jackie and Neville trip on “tea,” Jackie preps for Jeopardy! and Dan’s boat envy threatens to ruin his relationship with his longtime friend and business partner, Chuck. We ask the important questions, like, when did Wellman’s get a union? Why isn’t Dan straight-up stoked about cruising Lake Michigan with his BFF (and beer)? Did Dwight and Jackie have a tryst? What exactly IS “herbal tea”? Is this the sink, are we shrinking?!
Join us for all things Conners plus a discussion of our fondest hair removal memories, Van Morrison’s reactionary ways, Meet Joe Black, the most boring episode of The X-Files and our love for Bills Pullman and Hader.
S3 E7: A Heavy Coat with No Closet to Hang It
Feb 07, 2021
Capital insurrections, inaugurations, a pandemic, and another impeachment, and yet The Conners keeps rolling along. We are catching up with what’s happened in Lanford lately in our latest episode, and it’s a lot! First, in The Conners’ “A Cold Mom, a Brother Daddy and a Prison Baby,” Ben’s mom, who doesn’t have a name and looks a LOT like Murphy Brown, has some intense news about Ben’s father. The inimitable Candice Bergen appears as Ben’s mother, whose elegance masks a peculiar likeness to the dowager Harris, Bev. Meanwhile, Becky rejects Emilio’s limp handshake of a come-on, and we have mixed feelings about it. We also discuss “Young Love, Old Lions and Middle-Aged Hyenas,” in which Ben tries to help by building a closet for Becky, and makes Dan unduly angry, albeit correct. And we think Harris’s new boyfriend Josh is cute and stupid, and a jarringly convincing portrayal of an interloper in political activism, centering himself in causes that don’t directly affect him. As always, we talk about what we’ve been doing and watching – there’s a little Night Stalker talk, and a tangent about an unaired British series featuring Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson. Katherine gets a little bit imperious about teaching on Zoom.
S3 E6: The Conner Family Money-Making Death Machine
Jan 11, 2021
In our sixth installment of the season, we recap The Conners, “Drug Test, Protest, and One Leaves the Nest,” in which Harris joins an Occupy Wall Street-style protest while somehow managing to remain ignorant of pretty much everything about economic inequality in America, capitalism, solidarity and how to take a principled stand for something you believe in. We analyze it in tandem with a related episode from the original series, classic season 5 episode “Lanford Daze,” in which Darlene herself launches a memorable protest against the “meat-industrial complex” — in this case represented by her family’s own Lanford Lunch Box. We consider Darlene’s youthful shenanigans in tandem with Harris’s, noting the differences in their approach, understanding of issues and cultural context. We also parse the Conners episode’s second plot line relating to drug testing at Wellman and Robin’s (Alexandra Billings) revelation that she is trans, which leads to a discussion of anti-trans sentiment in popular culture (especially in the 1990s). Join us for these observations, plus more on Loretta Lynn, bad fashion of the early oughts, and what we’ve been watching, including the new film Ammonite and the mid-2010s BBC teen show My Mad Fat Diary. Hoooo doggies, we love these sandwiches!
S3 E5: Becky & Mark 4 Ever
Dec 30, 2020
Well, we hope you’ve all been enjoying safe and happy holidays. We’ve been on a bit of a break ourselves, though we will be back with more commentary on The Conners and more of the old show soon! In this episode, we revisit the elopement of Becky and Mark Healy (RIP Mark and beautiful Glenn Quinn), which is portrayed in the back-to-back Season 5 episodes “Terms of Estrangement,” parts 1 and 2. We find Becky to be egregiously hard on Dan as the bike shop goes under, and we spend quite a lot of time on the ways the financial situation the Conners find themselves in here connects to their current situation on The Conners. We celebrate the writers of the original series for their one-liners, non-sequiturs, and inclusion of the ever-vain Nancy and her newly liposuctioned butt. In all, we remember how young our Becky was, but how much she loved Mark (and he loved her, too!). As per usual, we digress into realms of pop culture only somewhat related to the topic at hand. Thanks again to Brenda for suggesting we take some time to cover these two kids in love.
S3 E4: We’re in Mask Hell (and Other Complaints)
Dec 02, 2020
Join us for a little Andy Rooney-style, “get off my lawn” crankiness as we catch up on the recent Conners episodes “Birthdays, Babies and Emotional Support Chickens” and “Friends in High Places and Horse Surgery.” First of all, we love the Conners, we really do — but we’ve got to talk about their appalling pandemic etiquette, from their chin-masking to their indoor-gathering to their ball-pit-renting. We also critique the often overstuffed, rushed nature of The Conners, parsing numerous fast-tracked plot elements, including a spontaneous baptism and Darlene’s sudden interest in middle management. What happened to the days when an entire Roseanne episode could revolve around a simple fart? Or a teenaged boss? Or a decision to become a trucker?
But look, it’s not all complaining — there’s some good vibes here, too, we promise! We’ve got praise for guest actress Alexandra Billings and adorable Emilio, plus lively tangential discussions of Hulu’s new Christmas rom-com (that is not very rom, actually) Happiest Season and Maura’s fond memories of seeing Ricky Martin on Broadway. Listen and subscribe on iTunes!
S3 E3: Take It In the Shorts? What Does That Mean?
Nov 23, 2020
In this episode, we catch up on The Conners’ Covid Halloween and Darlene’s tough adjustment to her new job at Wellman’s—episodes 2 & 3 of The Conners Season 3. Like a lot of folks, we have more to say about The Vow versus Seduced, the appeal of The Queen’s Gambit, and the divinity of the pristine grocery store in Supermarket Sweep. We talk about the way the family deals with a cancelled trick or treat night in Lanford in “Halloween and The Election vs. The Pandemic,” and the emotional pendulum of the Halloween theme with the family crisis about Mary’s status as a latchkey kid (in 2020!). We also examine Darlene’s characterization as an elitist, and the odd juxtaposition of the mean-girlesque, juvenile social dynamics of the women at Wellman accusing Darlene of snobbery while calling her names and rendering their “high-brow” Marie Antoinette joke. We end on some final thoughts about the contrast between the first season episode, “Let’s Call it Quits” which we discussed in our last episode, and the anti-union-ish rhetoric of the conversation between Darlene and her co-worker Nicole in “Plastics, Trash Talk, and Darlene Antoinette.” Join us!
S3 E2: Wellman Revisited
Nov 08, 2020
After a slight delay, we’re back in action with episode 2 of our third season! In “Wellman Revisited,” we discuss The Conners Season 3, Episode 1, “Keep on Truckin’ Six Feet Apart,” which checks in on our favorite family as they deal with the pandemic, resulting financial distress, and being served an eviction notice by Danny Trejo. When they hear Wellman Plastics — local factory and former workplace of Roseanne and Jackie — is reopening, Becky and Darlene decide to apply. This prompts us to examine themes of economic hardship, labor and the American dream in both classic Roseanne and The Conners. We look back on one of the most memorable Roseanne episodes of all time, “Let’s Call it Quits,” in which Roseanne leads a walkout at Wellman in response to a new and especially terrible boss. Are Darlene and Becky right back where their parents started in 1989, and will they get back on their feet? Please join us for all this plus digressions on the HBO docuseries The Vow, Katherine’s brush with cult membership, George Clooney, and more!
S3 E1: Roll on Down: A Bonnie Appreciation Episode
Oct 13, 2020
Welcome to season 3 of 714 Delaware St.! Before the premiere of the new Conners season, we invite you to look back with us on one of our favorite unsung characters of classic Roseanne: Bonnie Watkins, portrayed with down-to-earth charm by Bonnie Bramlett, a well-known rock singer who performed throughout the ’60s and ’70s as half of the duo Delaney & Bonnie. Bramlett, who befriended Roseanne Barr in 1990 and was cast on the show during a break in her singing career, served as Roseanne’s work pal and confidant during seasons 3 and 4. We dive into Bonnie Bramlett’s impressive biography and look back on some of her character’s finest moments, including her rendition of “You’ve Really Got a Hold on Me” in the episode “Scenes from a Barbecue,” “The Bowling Show” in which we meet her husband Duke (played by none other than David Crosby), and other Rodbell’s adventures. We consider the robust world of friends and acquaintances that Roseanne had created by its fourth season and how characters like Bonnie made Lanford feel more real through their small but potent contributions.
As usual, we also discuss what we’ve been watching during our hiatus (The Vow! Schitt’s Creek!) and explore some nostalgic trains of thought such as all things Alicia Silverstone and Roseanne’s short-lived 1990 cartoon Little Rosie. Thanks for sticking with us!
Special Summer Episode: Mall Madness
Aug 03, 2020
Greetings, friends! We hope you’ll enjoy our special summer episode “Mall Madness,” in which we discuss the classic Roseanne season 1 episode “Mall Story.” The Conners, Jackie and Crystal are heading to the mall for a big sale—Dan needs shoes, Becky needs a dress, Crystal needs “taaaahhhhls,” and Jackie needs to admire the pecs on some storefront fitness guru. Laugh along with us at this silly episode’s absurd dialogue, and remember the days when you could not only leave your house and be near other humans, but you could spend hours wandering around one of America’s suburban retail meccas in your coolest jean jacket! Join us as we grab an Orange Julius, try on some synthetic party clothes at DEB, pick up some cassingles at Sam Goody, and check out the dirty novelties in the back of Spencer’s Gifts. Yep, we’re here to talk malls, malls, and nothing but malls, including other mall episodes of such programs as Designing Women, The Nanny, Stranger Things, and Daria, and our own favorite mall memories.
S2: E20 – The Kiss, Part 2
Jul 08, 2020
Hello all! This is the second half of our talk about “White Men Can’t Kiss,” Roseanne‘s episode about implicit racism and its effects. Here, we continue to deal with what we found especially effective about this episode, as compared to “very special” episodes about race on other TV series – 90210, for example. Starting with Dan’s awkward conversation with Chuck during the guys’ poker game through to the final scene in which Roseanne encounters Gina’s father (and her own racist assumptions), we unpack the successes and failures of the racial politics of this episode. While we do talk about the present, and the racism of our subject’s titular source, we spend our time primarily on this single episode. We hope you’ll listen and tell us your thoughts.
S2: E19 – The Kiss, Part 1
Jun 24, 2020
We’ve been wanting to do this one for a while, and the moment seemed right. This is the first half of our discussion of the classic Roseanne episode, “White Men Can’t Kiss,” in which DJ is supposed to kiss a girl (his future wife, Gina) in the school play, and doesn’t want to, because she is Black. DJ’s racist response creates conflict and concern between Dan and Roseanne, who both newly recognize and reveal some of the racist attitudes that they both unconsciously hold. In our conversation, we talk about what the episode does that feels very progressive, even now, and we try to unpack ways that this episode and the two series have missed opportunities to do and say even more about anti-Black racism. We are pretty academic and serious here, but we also accidentally talk for too long about Shia LeBouf and the movie Cocktail, as well as our mutual love of hand-me-down, mismatched bedsheets. We’ll post the second half in the very near future, so stay tuned!
S2 E18: The House at 714 Delaware Street
Jun 04, 2020
Join us as we wrap up our discussion of season 2 of the Conners! In this episode, we discuss The Conners season 2 finale, “Bridge over Troubled Conners,” in which the Conner home is at risk of foreclosure, meaning hard times for Dan and tough decisions for Darlene and Ben. We explore our own love for the Conner house, the memories we hold there and the lived-in feel of the set, as well as our memories of our own family homes. Other topics include Becky and Emilio’s storyline and this episode’s excellent guest stars—David Pasquesi (aka “Stew the Meat Man” from Strangers with Candy) and Joel Murray (aka sad-sack Freddy Rumsen from Mad Men). We evaluate season 2 as a whole and express our wishes for season 3, as well as carry on far too long on such issues as laughter on TV shows, Sebastian Bach’s compelling turn on Gilmore Girls, David Healy’s potential future as a crazy cat lady, and our desire to spend more time among birds.
We hope you’ll tune in…and stay tuned as we look back to classic Roseanne for our summer episodes!
S2 E17: Ziggy and The Conners from Mars
May 23, 2020
Darlene, why are you being such a Karen? I mean…she confesses to harassing a cop and living to tell the tale – and in fact, didn’t she JUST defy a cop and go to jail a few weeks ago? Oh, man. At any rate, this episode begins with our discussion of “CPAPs, Hickey’s, and Biscuits.” We talk a bit about Darlene and Ben’s relationship progression, and how, like, they aren’t really doing things in the normal order, but that’s cool. More than this, we coo a bit over Dan and Louise sealing the deal (they DO IT), and how maybe this CPAP storyline is an allegory for the importance of wearing your dang mask when you go out! Louise is SO COOL, and like Dan says, she even looks hot in her bedtime bonnet and eye mask strips.
We pair this with a fine old episode of the original series called “Born to be Wild,” in which the Conners are visited by an old friend and his Harley. Ziggy reminds Dan and Roseanne about their younger days, feeling the wind in their hair… and he agrees to help Dan fix up his old bike that has been lying dead and rusting in the garage. Leather jackets are worn by all, and somehow we end up with a lengthy appreciation of Bob Seger. Please enjoy our latest installment, and stay tuned as we finish out season 2 of The Conners!
S2 E16: Sister Stories
May 04, 2020
Hi folks! In our latest episode, “Sister Stories,” we discuss The Conners episode “Pilot Lights and Sister Fights,” which focuses on the romantic reunion of Dan and Louise and a flare-up of tension between Darlene and Becky, who has been bonding lately with Darlene’s BF Ben (Jay R. Ferguson). Darlene’s stress over trying to have a baby seems to trigger her old feelings of insecurity related to her sister, who has always been considered the more “popular” and personable of the two Conner girls. We analyze this new conflict in relationship to classic Roseanne season 7 episode “Rear Window,” in which Becky and David start to become close while he and Darlene are broken up. Oh, and this episode also features a hilarious A-plot of Roseanne and Dan peeping at their new, VERY elderly nudist neighbors who don’t seem to catch onto Roseanne’s witticisms about “crack” and “Uranus.” Join us as we dive into these episodes and other pertinent issues like the classic stoner film 9 to 5; Maura’s illustrious childhood turn in The Velveteen Rabbit; the mysterious, sartorially-challenged nature of keyboardists; Arby’s, and more!
S2 E15: Bev!
Apr 26, 2020
In this podcast episode, we focus in on the dowager Harris, Bev. The world’s nitpicking-est mom, the devotion-seeking grandmother, the ever-youthful-and-probably-a-vampire Bev, so perfectly portrayed by also likely-to-be immortal Estelle Parsons. We begin by talking about recent The Conners episode, “The Ice Woman Cometh,” which finds Bev returned to Lanford with money in hand for precious Mark’s summer camp for smartypants. Darlene pursues equal money for Harris, betraying the deserving Mark in cold fashion. We question Harris’s inexplicable new career aspiration – to go to tattoo school (Listen. That’s really not a thing.) And Dan’s heart breaks over Louise, but at least we get to see Katey Segal rock with a full band. Next, we discuss the similar original series episode from Season 5, entitled “Mommy Nearest,” wherein Bev gives Jackie and Roseanne $10,000 each from her divorce settlement, with the caveat that she’s moving to Lanford. You can imagine how Jackie and Dan react. There’s a LOT of horse talk in this episode, as well as a detailed description of a totally problematic Jackie sweater, and a rant connecting Breaking Bad and Tiger King. Please join us!
S2 E14: Down & Out Darlene vs. the Mean Teen
Apr 05, 2020
In our latest installment of 714 Delaware St., we discuss the two most recent episodes of The Conners, “Beards, Thrupples and Robots” and “Tats and Tias.” We express our sadness at the dashing of Jackie’s relationship hopes with Ron and Janelle (who are not what they seem), lament the show’s overly simplistic and ungenerous plot involving Becky and Emilio’s hostile aunts, and provide a thorough analysis of the central storyline involving Darlene and Harris. With Darlene and Ben’s new magazine still ramping up, Darlene turns to Harris for a job at Price Warehouse. Suddenly she’s the one acting like a bratty, entitled teen, and we take a closer look at Darlene and Harris’s fraught relationship, Harris’s flippant attitude, and Darlene’s inability to be assertive and set rules for her children. We also explore the usual tangents on issues such as the deeply troubling Tiger King, Crossroads and our national need to protect Britney, Maura’s love for ’90s Britpop assholes Oasis, and Katherine’s fascination with Honey Boo Boo. Tune in!
S2 E13: The Salads of My Youth
Mar 19, 2020
Hey everyone, we’ve got a nice one here for you—another trip to Season 3 of the original series, to visit the episode entitled “Home Ec.” This one finds Roseanne giving a lesson in feeding a family to Darlene’s Home Economics class. Here, we digress an awful lot, mostly about the presence of a teeny Leo DiCaprio in the background of Darlene’s classroom, and about our own junior high school Home Ec nightmares. Mostly, we talk about salad dressing. Catalina? What the *&% is that?
S2 E12: Loving Throuples, Missing Crystal
Mar 08, 2020
In our latest episode, we recap the Conners season 2, episode 14, “Bad Dads and Grads,” in which Darlene and Ben ponder having a baby (or he forces her to ponder, depending on your perspective), Jackie ponders joining guest stars Jennifer Grey and Clark Gregg in a throuple, and Dan works through his anger toward his late father and reconnects with Ed Jr. (“little Ed”), his father’s son with Crystal. We express skepticism about Darlene and Ben’s baby-making haste and complete enthusiasm for Jackie’s potential new lease on love, but focus mainly on Dan, looking back at the two-part classic episode from Roseanne season 3, “The Courtship of Eddie, Dan’s Father”/”The Wedding,” which tells the story of Ed Sr.’s marriage to Crystal and her pregnancy. We parse inconsistencies in the storyline from then to now, and wonder why Crystal (our beloved Natalie West) can’t come back and clear up this mess. As always, we also indulge in some tangential discussions — of our favorite Leap Day TV episodes, the creepy genius of Flowers in the Attic, and our love of sweaters (plus, you won’t want to miss Katherine’s rendition of John Denver’s “Rocky Mountain High”). Join us!
S2 E11: If I Were Dwight
Feb 28, 2020
Hey listeners! After a short delay, we present to you our most recent discussion of two recent episodes of The Conners, which we’re calling, “If I were Dwight.” In this, we take on “Live from Lanford,” the live episode written around the New Hampshire primaries – a fun and successful effort in live broadcasting, we think. We do feel sad about Dan and Louise’s breakup, but we also think it’s a little weird that everyone acts like her 3-month tour is such a lengthy time away. Like, why can’t she go on tour AND stick it out with Dan, you know? Harris is still an a-hole, but Mark is a cutie pie. The main thing, though, is that our friend Dwight is such a PAL to Louise and to Dan, and he’s really delivering the goods in terms of Lanford’s Steel Magnolias spinoff. We also discuss the episode following, “Brothers, Babies, and Breakdowns,” in which Ben gets really intense about wanting a baby all of the sudden. While we think he’s a Hot Dad, we think he’s putting way too much pressure on Darlene to do something she doesn’t want to do. Dwight, again, is perfect as he shows up, breaks down, and pulls through (in that order) for the Lunch Box as Lanford’s next big stew chef. Thank goodness! Lastly, we freak out about the appearance of Little Ed, Dan’s brother and Crystal’s son, who calls on Dan to help him deal with the aftermath of Big Ed’s death. HOLY CRAP. But, wait, what? Where IS Crystal? We hope you listen and enjoy as you catch up with The Conners along with us!
S2 E10: Girlfriends, College Costs, and the Artist Formerly Known as Jackie
Feb 09, 2020
We’re back with another installment chatting about season two of The Conners! Join us as we discuss the latest episode, “Mud Turtles, a Good Steak, and One Man in a Tub” (a lengthy title which we’ve matched with one of our own), in which a storyline about Harris’s college prospects and the daunting cost of tuition brings us back to Roseanne’s roots in its mostly sharp commentary on socioeconomic issues. Plus, we celebrate Jackie’s new friendship with Cheryl Hines as Dawn (who starts out seeming like a “gal-pal” but ends up a mere girlfriend), and her unexpected artistic talent, which reveals itself in a “wine and painting” class. Finally, we mull over Louise’s ultimatum to Dan, and consider how nice it would be if her band would just play on the show with David Crosby, already. Stick around too for our tangents on Black Mirror, Quantum Leap, student loan debt, and Katherine’s (amazing) bigfoot-related artwork.
S2 E9: Why Won’t Wyatt Eat Mayonnaise?
Jan 29, 2020
Thanks for meeting us back here in 2020, friends. We kick off the year by discussing the most recent Conners episode, “Throwing a Christian to a Bear”—kind of a “bear” of a title, if you ask us. It makes sense, though, since we are presented with a nearly Biblical parable about what happens when a midwestern Christian guy in Green Bay gear presumes the right to judge a group of Chicago Bears devotees. Where does this guy get off? He’s the worst. And he has a weird hatred of mayonnaise, considering he’s a WHITE CHRISTIAN GUY FROM THE MIDWEST. We do some “whatcha been watchin’?” catching up at the beginning, and naturally, we go in pop culture circles as we pick apart the episode. We wonder about this “Lanford Cannibal” Ben tells us about, after his and Darlene’s strange Sunday visit to the bank, and we wonder about what critique of the show the writers might be responding to when they write Dan’s speech about the need for some form of joy at the end of a soul-grinding workweek. Wyatt certainly deserves the riot act, since he gives Dan (DAN!) a “lift yourself up by your bootstraps” lecture about what a waste of time sports are (again, while wearing full Packers gear). We pair this episode, as always, with an original Roseanne episode, this time, “Becky, Beds, and Boys,” wherein we first meet the disrespectful little shit who would become Becky’s darling husband, Mark. It’s too fun! Join in!
S2 E8: Have Yourself a Moldy, Jobless Christmas
Dec 16, 2019
On our latest episode, we recap 2019’s final installments of the Conners, “Lanford, Toilet of Sin” and “Smoking Penguins and Santa-on-Santa Action,” analyzing Jackie’s inner struggle over the fate of the Lunchbox, Darlene’s job and daughter woes, the triumphant return (sort of) of the sexily tousled Jay R. Ferguson as Ben, and the family’s strange new tradition of wearing Santa suits to the mall. We delight in appearances from Paul Reubens (aka Sandy Buttinsky aka Pee-Wee) and “zombie Bev”, shake our canes at that ungrateful whipper-snapper Harris, and share our thoughts on subjects ranging from Gumby to mice to dumpster-diving to what exactly they put inside an Orange Julius. Tune in – and happy holidays!
S2 E7: Slap That Turkey!
Nov 28, 2019
Thanksgiving is upon us, with an OPEN HAND. In this episode, we cover the dramatic holiday episode of The Conners, “Slappy Holidays,” wherein voices are raised not in mirth and merriment, but in anger and probable tequila drunkenness. Jackie, Darlene, and Harris are all at their worst, while the rest of the family copes with the mayhem. In the episode, a delayed dinner and too much booze leads to a MAJOR blowout, culminating in a SLAP, that brings us back to the history of abuse in the Harris family. It’s painful, emotional, upsetting, and therefore utterly true to the holiday, and to the original series. We also revisit classic Roseanne Thanksgiving episodes and the history of delightful melee among the Conners and Harrises. Highlights include turtleneck philosophies, tales of Maura’s talent show exploits, and Conner memories in garage stories. Please enjoy!
S2 E6: Stew of a Kind
Nov 19, 2019
In the sixth episode of our second season, “Stew of a Kind,” we discuss the latest Conners episode, “Tempest in a Stew Pot,” which finds Becky and Jackie plotting to open a new restaurant in the old Lanford Lunchbox — one that, improbably, serves only stew. Darlene, who holds the keys to their dreams in the form of power of attorney, rejects their idea, leading to a rift that sends Becky packing and on her way to Jackie’s house. We look deeper into Jackie and Becky’s close relationship over the years, analyzing a season 3 Roseanne classic, “Becky Doesn’t Live Here Anymore,” in which Becky goes to stay with the single-and-swingin’ Jackie while fighting with her parents over Mark. We explore Darlene’s evolution from a mature child to the Conners matriarch, who in some ways has taken Roseanne’s place — at Jackie’s expense. Come for the analysis and stay for our tangents, from the story of Katherine’s first tattoo (it involves a toilet, an ex-con and a guitar string), Maura’s brush with Elton John, restaurants that are too specific and why no one under 40 listens to Pearl Jam. Join us!
S2 E5: Let Your Dreams Come True!
Nov 09, 2019
In this episode, we discuss the semi-Halloweeny “Nightmare on Lunchbox Street” episode of The Conners Season 2. The revelation that Bev is still the owner of the building the old Lunchbox was in and that Darlene now has power of attorney over Bev gives us pause. We delight in Jackie’s justified rage at the audacity of Bev! Can you imagine—having that nest egg this whole time and STILL forcing Jackie to take care of her? Though there are some costumes, this episode doesn’t go all out on the holiday spookiness, and maybe that’s a good thing. Nevertheless, Laurie Metcalf and Lecy Goranson pull out all the stops on Jackie and Becky as detectives on the case of the lying grandma, and Estelle Parsons is probably a vampire, since she seriously does NOT AGE! Notably, we both wish the “DJ and Mary Thing” were its own episode, but we are excited to find out if the Lunchbox returns. To add to the fun, Maura has some fun Lunchbox and loose meat trivia! Thanks for listening!
S2 E4: Darlene & David & Ben, Oh My!
Oct 23, 2019
In our 4th season 2 episode, we discuss the latest installment of The Conners, “Lanford…Lanford,” in which Darlene’s precarious love triangle with our beloved David Healy (Johnny Galecki) and sexy, hirsute newcomer Ben…something (Jay R. Ferguson) finally falls apart. In this emotional and well-paced episode of The Conners, Darlene and David finally share some real talk about their relationship (and David confirms he can’t change a tire without Siri’s help). This leads us to look back at D & D’s relationship throughout the classic Roseanne series, in particular the season 5 episode “Playing with Matches” in which interference by perky Conners neighbor Molly Tilden prompts the couple’s first breakup. Laugh and (nearly) cry along with us as we cling desperately to Darlene and David’s long-term prospects and look to what the future holds for Darlene. As usual, we take the listener on a string of proper tangents related to Halloween, made-for-TV Movies of the Week, Sister Hazel and other dentist-office music, and more.
S2 E3: A Not-So-Bizarre Love Triangle and a Not-So-Ugly Baby
Oct 15, 2019
Hey listeners! You may have noticed that we missed last week. We both had weddings to attend! But we haven’t abandoned ship – BY NO MEANS! Here, we catch up on The Conners second and third Season 2 episodes, “A Kiss is Just a Kiss” and “The Preemie Monologues.” We agree that these two episodes feel more natural and organic, and the pace feels right. Both episodes involve Becky’s struggles as a mom, both physical and financial, and deal with class and women’s issues in a way that is true to the original. Likewise, we see Darlene and David stand up for little Mark in a way that does justice to some of Roseanne Conner’s shining parental moments. Darlene’s LOVE TRIANGLE gets more cumbersome as, once again, she attempts to hide the presence of our dear David, and irresistible Ben begins to worry that Darlene needs some professional help. Dan is back to his sweet, not-so aggro self, and this time, we feel good about Katey Segal’s Louise stepping in. As usual, we get off track discussing hairstyles, Medicare for All, global warming, and whether or not Sinbad played a genie in a movie (he did not, you are thinking of the one with Shaq). And Dan Aykroyd is there for some reason! Join us!
S2 E2: Delivery Room Déjà Vu
Sep 29, 2019
In our second season 2 episode, we discuss the premiere season 2 episode of The Conners, “Preemies, Weed & Infidelity,” as well as its sister episode (pun intended) of the original Roseanne series, “The Miracle.” We analyze Becky’s pregnancy/labor storyline and its parallels with Darlene’s experience giving birth to Harris, as well as the side plots of Darlene’s love triangle (involving a certain sensitive, curly-haired Trader Joe’s employee!) and Harris’s latest transgression. As usual, we ask the important questions, such as how does Estelle Parsons never age? Could DJ’s hair BE any fuller and more lustrous? Why did they cast the baby from Eraserhead? And WHAT THE F%CK happened to Jackie’s son? (We’re going to keep asking until somebody tells us.) Join us!
S2 E1: Becky is a Real Gas!
Sep 13, 2019
Welcome back to 714 Delaware St. We are launching Season 2 in time for the upcoming second season of The Connors, our most beloved TV family.
Our inaugural episode, however, returns to another
throwback: one of the most explosive episodes of Roseanne, entitled “Inherit
the Wind.” You may remember this classic episode as the one in which Becky…Cuts…The…(ahem…if
you don’t already know, you probably better listen).
We do a lot of digressing for fun chats about Romy and
Michelle, Blade, Q Anon, high school mascots, and more. But(t), it all keeps
coming back to what may be the most iconic performances of Lecy Goranson and
Sarah Gilbert’s time on Roseanne, and probably the most perfectly
delivered line of all time.
Thank you for listening!
S1 E25: Just Me & My Ganja
Jul 23, 2019
Join us for our last episode of the summer as we discuss a *Very Special Episode* of the highest order: Season 6 episode “A Stash from the Past,” in which Roseanne, Dan & Jackie find some old weed in a drawer…and hijinks, sadness, paranoia, and pudding-pop-eating ensue. Not only is this a start-to-finish hilarious episode about aging and responsibility (named one of the best-ever episodes of television by TV Guide, an infallible publication), but it gives us an excuse to discuss marijuana moms, our favorite Drug-Free America commercials, Katherine’s amazing teenage drug experiences, Greg Brady’s weed habit, and memorable drug-related episodes of Diff’rent Strokes, Freaks and Geeks, Strangers with Candy, and Beverly Hills, 90210. As Jackie so succinctly puts it: “There’s a reason they call it ‘dope.'”
S1 E24: We Love to Mull over Martin (a Leon Carp Tribute)
Jun 18, 2019
In our latest episode, we pay homage to another of our favorites of the original series. We agree that Roseanne really meets her match when she meets the uptight, all-bark-and-no-bite Leon Carp, played by Martin Mull, when he comes to manage the diner at our beloved Rodbell’s. From Season 3 to Season 9 of the original series, we learn a lot about the world according to Carp. We talk about several of the best Leon episodes and moments, and Martin Mull’s amazing television career, including Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Arrested Development(AHHHHHHHH! GENE!!), as well as a number of classic 1980s commercials in which he appeared— for some surprising products. We find so much to love and be irritated by in the world’s best shitty boss and probably television’s first regular gay republican character. Where does Leon come from? Why is he the way he is? Why is Martin Mull’s mustache so majestic? We spend extra time discussing the Season 8 episode, “December Bride,” in which Leon ties the knot with his boyfriend Scott, played by the great Fred Willard (WHO ELSE?). What a bizarre, important TV moment! We hope you enjoy eavesdropping on our chat!
S1 E23: Caught Playing with Our Instruments in Band!
May 29, 2019
Poor DJ. He’s got it pretty rough, being perpetually eclipsed by the personalities of his two older sisters. Here and there, though, he gets a chance to really express himself. In this episode, we discuss DJ’s most creative outburst—when he got “caught playing with his instrument in band,” as Darlene put it. We think you know what we’re talking about. In the original series episode, “Homeward Bound,” DJ made an explosive discovery about his own body! Okay, okay, we’re talking about DJ’s discovery of self-pleasure. We talk about how few TV shows have grappled with masturbation, and why what might be. While Seinfeld may have acknowledged that we all like to spend quality time getting to know ourselves, and Roseanne assured us that all we really need is a lock on the door and some Montgomery Wards catalogs, neither seems to have greased the wheels for a renaissance of sitcom episodes about, you know…THAT. Later, in “The Parenting Trap,” puberty strikes again when DJ’s instrument plays itself in math class. Erections, masturbation, and periods are what this episode is ALL about! Thanks for coming; we came, too!
S1 E22: Girls Kissing Girls
May 09, 2019
We were going to title this episode “The Lesbian Kiss Episode,” but that struck us as a bit too formal. In fact, “Lesbian Kiss Episode,” is a TV term for a phenomenon that hit its stride in the ’90s: it’s that very special episode that airs during sweeps, featuring a guest star that comes along to lock lady lips with a series frontrunner, just to disappear back into the ether. THERE IS A WIKIPEDIA PAGE, okayyyy? Too many shows have done it for us to cover ALL of them, but one did it in a somewhat unique way. Guess which! Yes, it WAS Roseanne. Here, we talk about about the time Rosie gets a smooch from Nancy’s girlfriend (or “gal pal,” in ’90s speak), the inimitable gay-for-pay Mariel Hemingway. This original series episode is titled “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and though it has nothing to do with gays in the military, it did air very shortly after President Clinton signed the policy disaster of the same name. We touch on a few other highlights of this TV phenomenon, from Picket Fences to Star Trek Deep Space Nine. Slap on a fresh layer of chapstick and lean in closer, won’t you?
S1 E21: Feel the Bernhard!
Apr 25, 2019
On the latest 714 Delaware St., we’re talking about one of our favorite Roseanne supporting players: the one and only Sandra Bernhard! We gush over Ms. Bernhard’s unconventional career and incomparable mien, from her turn as the desperate-and-deluded Masha in Martin Scorsese’s The King of Comedy (1983) to her one-woman show Without You I’m Nothing (1990) to her regular appearances on Letterman. Katherine reports on seeing Sandra live twice (plus meeting her for a photo op), and we dig deep into her Roseanne character, the charmingly self-centered Nancy Bartlett. We discuss the season 4 “Vegas” episodes, in which she impulsively marries Arnie (Tom Arnold), as well as season 5’s “Ladies Choice,” in which they’re already broken up and she announces she’s dating Marla (Morgan Fairchild), whom she met at Rodbell’s makeup counter. Join us as we celebrate this hilarious—and to us, frankly inspirational—actress and comedian, without whom we can’t imagine Roseanne in its later seasons.
S1 E20: Taxin’ and Chillaxin’ in the Sweet Sounds of Spring
Apr 15, 2019
In this episode, we lament the ghastly unfair process of filing taxes while poor, by way of one of our favorite Roseanne original series episodes, entitled “April Fool’s Day.” We discuss who is most likely to be audited, and how fun it is to live vicariously through TV characters who really give the meanies at the IRS what-for. From Roseanne Conner’s Norma Rae moments, Dick’s tax meltdown on 3rd Rock from the Sun, and the Golden Girls’ unfortunate encounters with auditors and homophobic writers, we work through the hardest day of the economic year with a few giggles and a lot of angst. You’ll notice a third commentator in the background for several minutes—that’s Katherine’s dog, Orlando, celebrating the onset of spring. We beg your pardon for the extra noise, but we love this conversation too much to toss it out!
S1 E19: “To Whom it Concerns”
Mar 26, 2019
In the latest installment of 714 Delaware St., we deep-dive into the straight-up CLASSIC season 2 Roseanne episode “Brain-Dead Poets Society,” penned by a young Joss Whedon, in which Darlene Conner writes a poem that she must present at her school “Culture Night.” This episode marks a pivotal moment for the character of Darlene, revealing hidden depths and impacting her relationship with Roseanne. Additionally, we take a look at memorable poetry scenes in other television and film, namely My So-Called Life, The Simpsons,Seinfeld and 10 Things I Hate About You.
We also make time to share our thoughts on other subjects, from abortion plot lines on television to Candace Cameron Bure’s 1996 TV movie Freshman Fall (She Cried No) to Don Henley’s 1984 masterpiece “The Boys of Summer.” Join us!
S1 E18: Hopes, Dreams, and Shampoo, the Softer Sides of Roseanne Conner
Mar 12, 2019
In this episode of 714 Delaware St., we take some time to reflect on someone we’ve somewhat neglected thus far on our podcast: Roseanne Conner! In the wake of mourning Roseanne Conner’s death and Roseanne Barr’s depressing political shift far-rightward, we have wanted to talk about the nuanced characterization of the Conners’ brazen matriarch. We’ve chosen two Season 2 episodes that capture Rosie’s tenderness and vulnerability. In “Hair,” Rosie is hesitant at first to take a “demeaning” job as an assistant in a hair salon, until the women there spoil her cynicism by treating her with respect and appreciation. In “Happy Birthday,” Roseanne’s birthday wish is for more time—in particular, she wishes for time to write stories like she did when she was younger. This passion underlies much of the dynamic between Roseanne and Darlene, and this episode is the referent for the totally outrageous Season 9 finale. Both of these episodes forefront a sweetness and depth to Roseanne Conner that is ever-present, but is often obscured by the brash hardness her life as a working-class mother of three (then four) requires.
S1 E17: Paper Hearts & Teddies
Feb 19, 2019
In this belated Valentine’s episode, Maura & Katherine explain the unexpected personal crises that kept them away from the podcast for a few weeks, and celebrate the fact that we’re back to discussing classic TV! We look at Roseanne’s only Valentine’s Day episode from season 3, in which Darlene has a crush on a boy improbably named “Barry” and Dan has a fear of full-figured lingerie. We also discuss other Valentine’s favorites from ’90s shows The Wonder Years, The Adventures of Pete & Pete, and Frasier, and our own feelings of childhood anxiety and adult apathy toward the holiday. Bonus discussions include our wholehearted love of Leon (played by Martin Mull), our confusion about a certain type of lingerie (it may or may not be THE TEDDY), and the indisputable fact that Tobey Maguire shares a face with K.D. Lang. We hope you’ll join us for a little candy-heart-themed nostalgia-fest!
S1 E16.2 – More Truckin’ Through The Conners
Feb 03, 2019
Here’s part two of our conversation about The Conners Season 1 finale, “We Continue to Truck.” We talk about our beefs with some of the conservative politics of the show in the wake of both the original series and Roseanne Season 10, as well as our pleasures from this new series. We are hoping for good things to come from our beloved Conners as the series grows into its own. But MAN ALIVE, WHAT IS WITH PETER?! We’ll return in short shrift with more discussions and laughing about original Roseanne episodes and other TV treasures.
S1 E16.1- Truckin’ Through The Conners
Jan 29, 2019
Gosh! The Conners first season is over, and we have things to say. This is Part One of our discussion of the season finale, “We Continue to Truck,” and our thoughts on the season overall. In this installment, we are 100% wigged out about Peter’s (Matthew Broderick) transformation into the world’s biggest creep and monster boyfriend! Maura says she thought he was acting like a serial killer. We also lament the depiction of Emilio, the undocumented father of Becky’s baby, although we appreciate his willingness to try tuna casserole with potato chips. We consider the ways a shorter season impacts the capacity of TV writers to tell a full and complex story with broad social implications; these issues include the cognitive dissonance of Trump voters (supposing Dan is one?) in the face of the deportation of a real life person in their community, and the process of deportation after an ICE raid. Significantly, we discuss Jackie’s drunken scene at the former Lunch Box and how her emotional breakdown brings the season full circle for viewers who also grieve the loss of Roseanne Conner. In Part 2 (COMING SOON), we talk about David’s return and Darlene’s decision, and assess the show so far, in relation to both the original series of Roseanne and Roseanne Season 10.
S1 E15: The Asshole Chronicles
Jan 20, 2019
In 714 Delware St.’s 15th episode, we ask the question: Why are so many characters on The Conners are turning into assholes? In episode 10, “Don’t Shoot the Piano Teacher,” Ben (Jay R. Ferguson) tries out his “mean dad” persona; a crusty, conservative Dan pushes Emilio (the father of Becky’s baby) into an uncomfortable position; and Dan and Jackie attempt to coerce Becky into a relationship with Emilio – despite the fact that she’s a 40-year-old woman who can make her own damn decisions. What happened to these characters, we ask? What kind of message is The Conners trying to send about masculinity and women’s agency? AND WTF HAPPENED TO JACKIE’S SON? (We won’t stop asking.)
We also revisit two classic Roseanne episodes from season 6, “Be My Baby” and “Don’t Make Room for Daddy,” which remind us that Jackie was once in the exact same position as Becky, pregnant by Fred and wishing to raise the baby alone. We look at how she deals with Roseanne and Dan’s meddling and compare the way both shows approached this storyline.
Plus, there are some good ol’ fashioned tangents on Donahue, Murphy Brown, “nice guys,” the short-lived television series Dinosaurs, and more.
S1 E14: Health Care is All the Rage!
Jan 15, 2019
Hey, it’s our first episode of 2019! In this episode, we talk about the most recent episode of The Conners (natch!), “Rage Against the Machine,” in which Dan is injured by a vending machine that falls on him covering DJ’s shift at work. We have some questions about how it all works: How is it that Dan can take a shift at a company he doesn’t work for? Why does Dan believe he can reason with management? Why does Darlene of all people hire a personal injury lawyer from an ad at the gas pump? How come Peter Gallagher is so great? We also discuss the slut-shaming of Becky by the bosses at La Casita Bonita, who force her to take a sexual harassment training to stop her from flirting all the time. WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?! Jackie at work as a life coach is a true delight, but we wonder why we haven’t met her rival yet. Maura guesses it will be Valerie Bertinelli; that would be something ELSE!
Finally, we note the strong similarities between this episode and the Season 2 episode of the original series, “Fender Bender,” in which Roseanne suffers pretty severe whiplash after being rear-ended by her former factory boss and hair salon client, the insufferably thoughtless Meg Wellman. Universal health care, we ultimately determine, is one answer to the conundrum these episodes present.
S1 E13: Christmas in Lanford
Dec 21, 2018
In our final episode of 2018, we recap the most recent episode of The Conners, “Oh Sister, Where Art Thou?” which focuses on a rift between Becky and Darlene. We also discuss our favorite classic Roseanne Christmas episodes, season four’s “White Trash Christmas” and season six’s “Santa Claus” (the one in which Roseanne portrays Jolly Old Saint Nick himself at Rodbell’s!). Other topics include our favorite television Christmas specials and tacky Christmas decorations, teenage rebellion, the California Raisins, “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer,” and more! Cheer to our listeners – may you have a merry holiday break filled with couch potato-ing.
S1 E12: Will Peter Be Sweeter?
Dec 18, 2018
Hey! Thanks for your patience with us as we catch up on The Conners and, like, life and stuff. This episode of 714 Delaware St. covers episode seven, entitled “Hold the Salt,” as well as three original series episodes: Season 4 Episode 3, “Why Jackie Becomes a Trucker,” in which Jackie has a very regrettable one-night-stand, and Season 5 Episodes 13 and 14, “Crime and Punishment,” and “War and Peace,” in which Roseanne and Dan rescue Jackie from her physically abusive boyfriend Fisher. We ruminate over these past mistakes and heartbreaks, and go to the root of Dan’s protective suspicion of Jackie’s new beau, Peter, played by a mirthful and bookish Matthew Broderick. We talk more about coffee shops, hosting etiquette, and somehow, Lassie. Enjoy, and stay tuned for some serious holiday reminiscing next week as well!
S1 E11: Being Becky
Dec 04, 2018
This special double episode is all about our now-favorite Conner: Becky!
Maura and Katherine take a closer look at the last two episodes of The Conners, “Miracles” and “One Flew over the Conners’ Nest,” as well as classic Becky episode “One for the Road” from season two of the original series. We discuss Becky’s surprise pregnancy, her alcohol issues, and her relationships with her family as she navigates some complex emotions. We’re also psyched about Becky’s friendship with a lesbian power couple, Darlene’s sexy new love interest (Mad Men‘s Jay R. Ferguson), and we demand to know WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO JACKIE’S CHILD?
Finally, it wouldn’t be 714 Delaware St. without tangents, and we explore plenty—Creed, Gérard Depardieu, Transparent, Justine Bateman, youthful jobs in the service industry, a cocktail called the “puke sandwich,” and that one ER episode in which Ewan McGregor robs a convenience store.
As always, thank you for joining us in Lanford!
S1 E10: Grief, God, and Free Appliances
Nov 21, 2018
Happy Thanksgiving! This is our TENTH episode! In this installment, we discuss episode 4 of The Conners, titled “The Separation of Church and Dan.” We express hopefulness about the continued development of Gena and Mary, DJ’s wife and daughter, a little confusion about who is and isn’t grieving, and uncover the peculiar dearth of men’s names in Lanford. We also ask hard-hitting questions like “Where do DJ and Gena live?” and “Why doesn’t DJ do Mary’s hair? He’s her father!” We also connect this episode back to an amazing episode of Roseanne’s 6th season, entitled “I Pray the Lord My Stove to Keep,” in which Darlene discovers that DJ has been going to church in secret, David gets a nose ring he doesn’t want, and Roseanne and Jackie make a profit when the company they purchase a new stove from delivers a second by accident. We wind down by talking about our own brushes with church as youths. Thank you for listening!
S1 E9: “The PC Crap”
Nov 11, 2018
In this installment of 714 Delaware St., Katherine and Maura discuss The Conners’ disappointing third episode “There Won’t Be Blood,” from its confused message about “PC culture” and problematic handling of Gina and Mary to bright spots like Becky’s “Sharknado Conner” costume and Matthew Broderick as Jackie’s know-it-all BF. We’re slightly frustrated but simply brimming with ideas for future storylines – Conners writers take note!
In honor of the election, we also take a brief look at classic season 4 episode “Aliens,” which offers some of the original series’ most incisive political commentary. And on a more serious note, we ruminate on the tragic shooting at the Tree of Life synagogue in our beloved city of Pittsburgh.
S1 E8: Tangled Up in…David!
Oct 30, 2018
In this edition of our podcast, we talk about the second EVER episode of The Conners, in which we meet David’s new girlfriend Blue, played by Juliette Lewis. Harris lost her virginity and the scenario is weirdsville! Mostly, we get a little caught up in our nostalgia for the early days of Darlene and David, and we’re skeptical but open-minded about the new romantic ventures that seem to be in store for the two of them. We remember Glenn Quinn (Mark) and wonder what the future holds for all of the Conner family.
S1 E7: Roseanne Halloween Classics!
Oct 26, 2018
WELCOME…TO THE TUNNEL OF TERROR! As any fan of the original series of Roseanne knows, Halloween is the happiest time of year for the Conner family. Join us as we look back at 8 seasons of classic Halloween nights in Lanford. Prince is here, and the Three Stooges, and Marie Antoinette, and — wait, did Roseanne just kill Dan in the kitchen? And what’s that coming out of Darlene’s stomach?
S1 E6: The Conners, “Keep On Truckin'”
Oct 21, 2018
On the sixth episode of 714 Delaware St., we discuss the premiere episode of The Conners, the new ABC reboot of Roseanne without the show’s eponymous matriarch, who was ousted from the cast following a racist tweet. “Keep On Truckin'” was one heavy episode of television, and we’re reeling! Join us as we discuss the show’s handling of Roseanne’s departure and our complex feelings about her absence, plus the usual digressions on topics ranging from Sherwood Schwartz to Strangers with Candy to Bronson Pinchot.
S1 E5: The Conners are Coming!!
Oct 15, 2018
We were going to wait until after The Conners premier, but we couldn’t help ourselves! In this short episode, we talk about the rumors and speculations about the new series, sans Roseanne. We talk at length about Roseanne’s infamous racist tweet and her various tenuous apologies. We also discuss the cast’s family dynamic, and our own deep emotions about the Conner family. Lastly, we really hope John Goodman doesn’t fall down any more stairs!
S1 E4: “Lover’s Lane”
Oct 11, 2018
On episode 4 of 714 Delaware St., Maura and Katherine discuss the season 1 episode “Lover’s Lane,” in which everybody bowls, Jackie and Booker flirt hard, and Becky crushes on a guy from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (unfortunately, it’s not Rick Moranis). Featuring the usual Roseanne insight plus delightful tangents about bowling in sitcoms, patriarchal bullshit, and the complete and utter awfulness of Pepe Le Pew.
S1 E3: “We’re in the Money”
Oct 05, 2018
On episode three of 714 Delaware Street, Maura and Katherine discuss “We’re in the Money,” the second episode of the original series of Roseanne, in which the Conners face decisions about money management as a working-class family. The REAL DJ is here, there are guinea pigs in the garage, and Becky’s modeling mom jeans. Join us!
S1 E2: The Pilot
Sep 26, 2018
In the second episode of 714 Delaware St., Maura and Katherine discuss the 1988 pilot episode of Roseanne, entitled “Life and Stuff.” The chemistry between Dan and Roseanne, the wonder of Jackie and Crystal, the stability of Becky and Darlene’s characters, and life at Wellman Plastics are all on the table. Strange iterations of class tensions between Darlene’s teacher and Roseanne come up, and WAIT! That’s not DJ!!
714 Delaware St.: Episode One
Sep 16, 2018
In the first episode of 714 Delaware St., TV studies scholars Maura McAndrew and Katherine Kidd discuss their mutual love for the original series of Roseanne, its role in TV history, and its stars and writers. We also begin our ongoing discussion of Roseanne Barr’s history as a stand-up, sitcom star, as well as her present-day condition as a troubled public figure with shockingly bad politics and social beliefs.