Show notes
Trigger warning: This episode discusses sexual assault, trauma, and survivor experiences. Please take care of yourself and skip this one if you need to.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the Cornell 7 case recently, and how, a decade after the #MeToo movement, we’re still seeing the same backlash, criticism, victim-blaming, and lack of understanding about what actually happens to so many people during and after a traumatic experience.
So today, in hopes of creating more compassion and understanding in how we respond to victims who experience trauma, we’re unpacking the psychology of trauma responses — and why the ways people react to fear and coercion are so often misunderstood.
We hear a lot about the fight-or-flight response, but what happens when your body freezes, shuts down, or tries to appease the threat? In this episode, we explore the two lesser-understood survival responses: freeze and fawn. Fawning is when someone tries to stay safe by placating, appeasing, or complying with a threat. Freezing is a mental or physical shutdown that can involve immobility, silence, numbness, or dissociation.
These trauma responses are not conscious choices. When someone freezes instead of fights, that isn’t evidence of consent. These are involuntary responses to perceived danger, shaped by our nervous system, past experiences, and the circumstances we find ourselves in.
Whether you’re trying to make sense of your own experience, support someone you love, or better understand the psychology of trauma responses, I hope this offers some clarity and compassion.
Tune in to learn about:
- How trauma responses actually work
- Why survivors of a traumatic experience may freeze, shut down, dissociate, or be unable to fight back
- What fawning is, why we appease or comply when we feel threatened, and how people-pleasing can become a survival response
- The shame, guilt, and self-blame that often accompanies freezing or fawning
- How social conditioning around politeness and people-pleasing can shape women's responses to threatening situations
- Why processing and reporting sexual assault is so difficult
- How to respond with more compassion and understanding when someone shares a traumatic experience
If you’re struggling with a traumatic experience, please talk to someone you love and trust, or visit a resource like RAINN.org for support.
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