Stay ConnectedShawn, Josh and Jeff work tirelessly to bring to life the screenplays that Hollywood tried to keep from you! Movies that were never made, but should have been! Movies that were never made and for good reason! Movies that definitely should NOT have been made, but you kind of wish you could see them anyway!
These brave scriptonauts subject themselves to scripts good and bad (mostly bad), acting them out and editorializing for your entertainment!
Copyright: © Copyright Shawn McBee
The resurrection of evil incarnate! The power of the gods used to hustle at chess and play the MOST TEDIOUS game of baseball in film history! And if you think that Billy’ isn’t going to a “mature” movie on his first day with an adult body, YOU ARE MISTAKEN.
But don’t worry... there are some actual super-heroics. With juggling.
Y’know, writing a synopsis like this really does a great job of illustrating how little thought must have gone into this script.
But, hey, the gang take a brief break from a particularly painful part of the script to discuss how the game of Quiddich could be improved. So there’s that...
It's part 2 of Shazam, so you know what that means! Captain Marvel [not the Brie Larson character -ed.] makes his big debut, allowing William Goldman to explore the sexual desires of a 15 year old girl for a man described as being 25! Ew!
Aside from the super inappropriate sexual tension, Jenny helps Billy get a grip on his new situation as Earth's Mightiest Mortal while elsewhere, we meet the children of Sivana, who have the Rowlingest names you ever heard! The transport their father's remains home in a rather unconventional way.
But don't worry! Before the end of the episode, we get STILL MORE incredibly discomforting sexualization of a 15-year-old girl! Gah!
It's like Lolita, if Nabokov thought her behavior was totally normal.
This is the first episode of the ALL NEW TABLE READS!
With this episode, we welcome back Kelly Leviay as a full-time co-host and introduce Joshua Baker as a second full-time co-host in addition to show creator Shawn McBee, making Table Reads a 3 person podcast!
For the first foray of the new lineup, we’re reading our first script authored by an Academy Award winner: Shazam, by the legendary William Goldman!
Get a listen at what might have been if the new film starring Zachary Levi had been made about 10 years earlier (probably without Zachary Levi).
Guys, it’s pretty weird.
It's the Looney conclusion of Termite Terrace! You'll find out what this has all been building to! Spoiler: think of the most groundbreaking and/or popular and/or revered cartoon character to come out of the Warner Bros animation department... IT'S NOT THAT ONE.
No, this film builds up to... nothing you would expect to be the culmination of the story of the creation of the Looney Tunes. It's like if a Biopic were made about Stephen King, where the big finishing note was a shot of the manuscript for Rose Madder.
Next Week:
Table Reads will return with William Goldman's SHAZAM! -- As well as an all-new Table Reads lineup! It's a new chapter for Table Reads and we think you're gonna love it!
Pete deals with the fallout from taking a movie starlet to bone-town, which involves the conspicuously-introduced Dot to cool to him... but not so much that they don't still get married before this episode is over. And if you feel like that's a spoiler, it's only because you don't understand how little importance this event seems to hold for anyone involved, including the writer.
Far more important seems to be Pete getting his own unit with Landy (who is up to something shady), a labor union forming in Hollywood, and some incremental development of a rabbit character at the studio.
Our young hero Pete gets an opportunity to sneak a peek at a big-time actress for a cartoon, and ends up meeting a dame in the process. Yeah, that’s right, a dame... this IS the 1930s we’re talking about. The cartoon leads to some success and something altogether unexpected (and not completely believable)
Join Shawn and Trevor as they continue to be entirely unimpressed by the professional attempt at telling a story they've found interesting all their lives!
Table Reads co-founder and YouTube's own Looney Tunes Critic is back on Table Reads for the most appropriate script ever: Termite Terrace, the failed Joe Dante project that would have told the interesting tale of the birth of the Looney Tunes in probably the least interesting way imaginable!
In part one, you will meet all the pseudonymous creators of your favorite cartoons--and I do mean ALL, right down to the guy who delivers memos--while also learning IN SUCH DETAIL how an animated cartoon is made! It's like reading the script to an instructional video from the 40s!
It's a good thing Shawn and Trevor are here to put this script in it's place, while also doing a better job than the script at telling the real origins of the Looney Tunes, as animation history is a passion of theirs going back decades.
The stunning FINALE of Kevin Smith's Six Million Dollar Man!
The final confrontation between Klatch and our hero, Steve Austin... and the fate of the world hangs in the balance! Or so we're led to believe. In reality, a script that is MUCH longer than it needs to be, still somehow ends up feeling like the ending was rushed to get it in under a 4 hour run-time.
Remember, if you want to read a 173 page script from 1996 that reboots a property from the 70s by stringing together every cliché on Earth, you can download it at www.TableReadsPodcast.com!
After taking an extended hiatus to completely overhaul our lives, the studio and the show, TABLE READS IS BACK!
We left you hanging in the middle of Kevin Smith's utter masterpiece *cough* The Six Million Dollar Man, so we have picked up right where we left off...
As we re-join our hero, he's setting off on the mission for which he was created: Stopping Klatch!
This episode features a Bond-Villain-Like Mountain base, a Die-Hard-Like ventilation shaft incursion, robot ninjas and enough exposition to choke a blue whale to death! Oh, and guard sharks. Yeah. Really.
Having faced off against the mysterious Klatch, Steve confronts the Old Man and learns the origins of Project Six Million, as well as the limits of his freedom.
Needless to say, there's a lot that doesn't make sense. That's where we come in. Oh, no, we don't make sense of it, we make FUN of it! Is this your first time here?
Enjoy part 5 of Kevin Smith's Six Million Dollar Man (who costs $1.6 Billion).
Anyway, SUBSCRIBE! You won't regret it! (Probably).
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