Swinger Diaries

Latest Episodes:

SD 77 How can a bisexual man approach his wife about bringing a guy into their bedroom? Sep 01, 2019

Show notes

We're back from the biggest swingers convention in the world, Naughty in New Orleans, and every year it seems to grow more massive and more exciting. One of the highlights of this year’s trip was a special recording made by the “Ladies of the Lifestyle” (LOL), a group of podcasting women who all got together, with no men in the room, to talk about the topics that affect women in the swinging lifestyle. You’ll be able to hear all three parts of that recoding by tuning into the special bonus episodes soon to be released on the Two or More to Tango Podcast for part one, then right here on Swinger Diaries for the second segment, and then the wrap up of the conversation on the Average Swingers Podcast. We think you’ll enjoy the casual but insightful banter of these sexy ladies.

After a fantastic house party last month, for this episode’s The Best of the Lifestyle segment, we were inspired to discuss the characteristics and attributes of the best swinger house parties. We also answer a listener’s question about how to broach the topic of swinging with your spouse in a way that doesn’t cause indignance and insult. However, the most engaging question of this show, as evidenced by the deluge of emails we received, was the topic of bisexual men in the lifestyle and why they are still so closeted in the general swinging population. Our listeners had some pretty powerful replies.

We do love to travel and have been to most of the biggest lifestyle venues in North America. This episode’s diary story is about an encounter we had at Temptation Resort in Cancun. Unlike Desire, in this wild party atmosphere where the crowd isn’t always made up of the classic heteronormative male-female couples, Penn came face to face with an obvious and open invitation to explore some play with men and… well, lets just say that the night did end in a pile of same-sex bodies.

SD 76 When you play in separate rooms, do you give blowjobs without condoms? Aug 01, 2019

Show notes

We are so lucky. We live an amazing life. Sometimes we have to pinch ourselves to believe it's real. Almost every weekend this past month we have traveled all over the country to visit amazing sexy venues, parties and friends. Even though this podcast is entertainment and information for our listeners, it's also our diary and so in this episode we indulge ourselves with a few minutes of memories as we recount our recent adventures.

Because we visit so many great events, in The Best or the Lifestyle we discuss the best themes that party planners can use to get the maximum participation by their guests. We then ask a question of our listeners for our own benefit because we don’t know the answer and we get a little lesson about the benefits of separate room play. Our listen’s question is a great one too. It's all about the inconsistency of condom use for oral and vaginal sex in the swinging lifestyle.

We don’t play separate, not really as rule but more as a preference, but this month’s diary story is the memory of an encounter where we pushed that boundary. The experience was interesting but it definitely cemented our feeling that, for us, we will always have and always will prefer to be together when it come to playtime.

SD 75 Should you tell your kids about your boyfriend and girlfriend? Jul 01, 2019

Show notes

Podcasts are such a powerful medium. Not only because they share so much unfiltered, valuable information, but because the create a very real and intense one-sided friendship between hosts and listeners. We know. We are both hosts and listeners of so many shows. In the spirit of wanting to complete the open circle of friendship with our listeners, we have some fantastic events coming up this year and we would love to have you join us. From meet and greets, to NIN, to our annual Desire trip, to the epic Podcast-a-Palooza, we would love to meet you in person. Come travel and party with us!

Some topics really touch a raw nerve with listeners and solicit a deluge of responses. This is one of those shows. In the Best one the Lifestyle segment, we talk about the best websites to use to buy your sexy swinging outfits and accessories. Then we discus our question (which we shamelessly stole from themonogamishmarriage.com) about whether or not we SHOULD be telling our kids about the lifestyle. Finally, listeners write in amazingly insightful answers to a request for advice about how to handle a couple that wants an exclusive relationship.

Our diary story is a cautionary tale about our friendship with a couple that crossed the line from casual sexy play to deep and real emotional connection. Some people prefer the casual hook ups, some want a long and deep relationship and some are searching for polyamory. The awkward, painful, frustrating friction happens when not everybody is on the same page.

SD 74 How do you flirt with a threesome on your favorite online dating site? Jun 01, 2019

Show notes

As we decompress and recover from our week in Desire’s lap of sexy luxury last month, we begin to look forward to new adventures. Our next exciting event is this summer’s NIN convention. It should be epic, as it is every year.

In this episode’s The Best of the Lifestyle segment, we discuss an often-asked question which is frequently posed by newbies about what, in our opinion, is the best swingers’ dating website and what makes some sites better than others. Once your are on a site, it probably won’t take you very long to get an unsolicited, generic greeting from a stranger. Some sites call it a poke, some a flirt, some call it blowing kisses, but what are you supposed to do with that compliment and vague invitation, answer back or ignore? What’s the proper etiquette? Lastly, as always, we attempt to reply to a request for advice from listeners. This question is about how to approach a couple without intimidating them by the fact that you are a threesome. Thankfully, our listeners, gave some sage advice.

Our diary story this month is about a much anticipated get-together with a couple we met online. Prior to the big date, we scoured their profile for every detail. They seemed perfect but, unfortunately they neglected to correctly report one very important detail on their profile and the revelation of some unexpected information changed the trajectory of the evening.

SD 73 How do you make the transition to playtime with a couple who are your kids' ages? May 01, 2019

Show notes

We anticipated it for a whole year but it was worth the wait! This episode was recorded LIVE in the disco at Desire RM where a flatteringly huge audience of people took time away from the week-long naked party to join us and help answer questions. It was another epic week for us and this recording gives you just a taste of the kind of sexy, provocative and fascinating conversations that were had in the jacuzzi every afternoon.

In the Best of the Lifestyle segment our live audience discussed a breakdown of the differences and similarities between Desire RM and Desire Pearl. Then we shifted gears to discuss the best way to make an invitation to another couple for play. Finally, we all struggled with the question of age in the LS. How young is too young and can you ever get over the weirdness of playing with people who are your kids’ ages?

Our Diary Story in this show was a very fresh memory. It actually happened at Desire the very night before we recorded. Although we are Desire veterans and experienced swingers, even we struggle with “sealing the deal”. This situation reminded us of the importance of being clear and bold in making the invitation to play, even when it's with great friends, or you just might miss out on some fantastic experiences.

SD 72 Does it turn you on to flirt with a single guy in a vanilla bar? Apr 01, 2019

Show notes

After an unusual week when we found ourselves in two different Midwest lifestyle clubs in two different states in only 48 hours, we got to thinking about clubs and what makes some better or worse to us for our particular party preferences. So, in this episode’s, The Best of the Lifestyle segment, we review Midwest clubs. Because we live in the Midwest, we’ve been to quite a few but not nearly all of them so we’d love to hear listeners’ opinions about their experiences too.

Our question for this episode is about whether swingers like the “shock factor” of being able to confuse and titilate observers and eavesdroppers when they are in vanilla settings. To us it seems like the answer comes down to a personal enjoyment or aversion to being an exhibitionist at heart. Our listener’s question comes from a single guy who plays separately with a hall pass and he asks if it's really necessary or even fair that so many couples seem to require verification from his wife before they play. After all, we are all consenting adults aren’t we? But on the other hand, nobody wants to be a home-wrecker either.

While most of our diary stories are of our memories of fun sexy play experiences with other people, what’s rarely said on our podcast is that at the end of a fun night of clubbing, we often end up just wanting to play together. Sometimes, like in this episode’s story, just the flirting and watching and sexy atmosphere is all the entertainment we need and the show that naturally exists at a great lifestyle club leads to a hot encounter for just the two of us.

SD 71 How often does she use the veto power when she's not attracted to the other man? Mar 01, 2019

Show notes

As we begin Book 3 of Swinger Diaries, we recall the milestones we’ve passed on our podcasting journey and then introduce our new format which involves answering one question of our’s, one directly from a listener, and our new segment, The Best of the Lifestyle, where we review the largest swinger’s convention in Canada. It’s a huge hotel takeover that happens every year in the beginning of February and its called Valentines in Niagra.

As we will in all Book 3 episodes, we discuss one philosophical question of ours. This time it’s about the veto power and who uses it more often, him or her. Then we we have a conversation about a related question that was asked by a listener about how to handle an unequal attraction to another couple.

Our diary story is one of the hardest we've ever re-told. We have avoided recounting it many times in past episodes because, even years later, the memory is still so painful for Paige. It’s an emotional story for us but it reminds us that sometimes, in the sensitive world of the lifestyle, tact and sensitivity are as important as honesty. While growth may come from the discomfort of challenging yourself, for us, first and foremost, this lifestyle adventure is about our fun as a couple and so we consciously choose to pursue only the encounters that we both enjoy.

SD 70 In a group of people that aren't physically your preference, how do you play defense? Feb 01, 2019

Show notes

In this, our final episode of Book 2, we take a few minutes to look back, look around, and look forward to the future of Swinger Diaries. We never imagined that this podcast would become so well-received as it has or that we would make so many contacts with amazing people through it, but as we contemplate the potential of Book 3, we can't help but ask ourselves if we are nearing the end of our show. We think not.

The final three questions for Book 2 are as challenging as usual. In this episode we ask our listeners for their opinions on the topic of whether or not its acceptable to prefer play with a person based solely on his or her ethnicity or race. Then we discuss the best tactics for playing “defense”. Lastly, we give our opinions and hear from listeners about whether it’s better to go on swinging vacations with a group or just the two of you.

As huge Desire fans, we knew where we wanted to go for our 25th wedding anniversary, but we didn’t know that we would be sharing the celebration with a couple from the other side of the world. While everybody believes they are selective, sometimes, in just the right mood, with the just right attitude, on just the right night, sexy encounters can find you when you aren’t expecting them. This night, the source of our pleasure came in the form of an exotic accent that was so charming that it was irresistible to Paige.

SD 69 Do you fear single men who's names you don't know? Jan 01, 2019

Show notes

We’re back from another amazing swinger cruise and we’ve got some fantastic memories and stories to tell. On this sexy trip we spent a week floating around the Caribbean with stops in Key West, Nassau and Havana. It was an epic adventure for sure. The ports were fascinating and the action on the cruise ship was hot and steamy. We had so much to reminisce about that this show ran few minutes longer than usual.

One great thing about being on a boat with hundreds of experienced swingers is that it gave Penn the chance to ask this episode’s three questions to tons of people… and did he ever! From our newest friends on the ship, we heard answers to questions about their biggest fears when they first got involved in swinging; about whether or not, at clubs and events, it’s fair and wise to charge singles a different rate than couples; and about if they have ever had full swap sex with a person who’s name they didn’t know. The responses from our shipmates were as insightful and interesting as the ones written in by our listeners.

We do enjoy the occasional encounter with a charming, sexy, single man. The problem is that good ones are very tough to find. That’s not because men are pigs but because most guys around the swinging scene are just too inexperienced to know the rules, and etiquette required for making a good impression on real couples. In this episode’s diary story, we remember an experience with a single guy who was still learning the ropes and finding his way as he entered into the swinging lifestyle.

SD 68 If the newbie couple you met online doesn’t use condoms, does that add to your performance pressure? Dec 01, 2018

Show notes

If you listen to shows like ours, its easy to think that all swingers live this constant, wild, sex-crazed life, but in reality thats not true. 99% of our life is made up of typical, common, routine, vanilla joys and responsibilities, just like yours. As swingers our interest in the lifestyle actually ebbs and flows and, to be quite honest, lately we’ve been in a rut. Luckily, we have an exciting swingers cruise coming up in just a few days that will surly break us out of our funk. As always, we should have some amazing stories to tell when we return.

This episode’s questions were again inspired by listeners. They wanted our audience’s collective opinions on questions like, who mages your online communications, him or her? They also wanted to know, is it ok to play with a couple if you know they don't always use condoms? Lastly, they asked, who has more pressure in a first play situation, newbies or vets? All are interesting and easily debatable questions. We tapped into our listeners’ advice and did our best to give our own opinions too.

For this show’s diary story we went back and listened to a very early recording from our past to refresh our memories about what is was like to be brand new. The encounter we heard and retell in this episode is one where we relied on the careful and kind direction of an extremely responsible, experienced couple. Don't misunderstand, enthusiastic consent is sexy, but there is also such a thing as too much coddling in a first play situation, even for scared timing inexperienced newbies.

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