Successful Women Think Differently

Latest Episodes:

The 4 D's: A Simple, Successful Formula for Overcoming Overwhelm Aug 09, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed you don't know what to do next? Most of us have been there: it all feels too much, we feel the pressure of a deadline, and we try to do it all ourselves.

Today, Valorie has a simple formula – The 4 Ds – which can help us all with that feeling of overwhelm.

This formula comes from Valorie's book, Brave Enough To Succeed, and if you can apply these tools when you're feeling overwhelmed, you will be able to STOP, take control, and prioritize what it is that you need to do next.

Sometimes in your life, you do need to push on through, but sometimes pushing through is not the best idea. And this is when you need to give yourself permission to take a break.

If you, like Valorie, are something of a 'time optimist' and put more and more on your plate until you bump up against a deadline and then perhaps scream silently to yourself, 'Help!', then this is the help you need.

From figuring out what you must Do and what you can Delay, what to Delete (and the joy of just saying NO), and what to Delegate, help is at hand to overcome your overwhelm today! If your overwhelm is becoming a repetitive pattern, then it's time to apply the 4 Ds! Please join us.

"There's a lot of power in being able to delay things when you're delaying them intentionally. Because you come to realize that a lot of your deadlines are just arbitrary." ~ Valorie Burton

In This Episode:

- Putting the things on your 'to-do' list into a healthy perspective

- How even just saying 'this is hard' can reduce your stress

- Exercising self-compassion

- Understanding 'false urgency'

- Distinguishing between what you Must Do and what you Can Delay

- The importance of learning How To Delegate

- Is your overwhelm becoming a repetitive pattern?

And so much more!

- Coaching Challenge:

Please put each item on your 'To Do’ list into one of these four categories:

Do / Delay / Delegate / Delete

... and watch how your feelings of overwhelm diminish!

Resources:

- Brave Enough To Succeed (the book where Valorie writes more in-depth about The 4 Ds) - Brave Enough to Succeed: 40 Strategies for Getting Unstuck: Burton, Valorie: 9780736970969: Amazon.com

Connect with Valorie Burton:

- Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

- Website - https://valorieburton.com/

- Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

- LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

- YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton

5 Commitments You Can Make to Build a More Resilient You Aug 02, 2023

Show notes

What does it take to be better - and not bitter - after a setback? Today on Successful Women Think Differently, host Valorie Burton is talking about the 5 Commitments to Resilience we can all make that can help us deal with adversity in healthier ways.

Successful people navigate challenges and bounce back from disappointment every single time using these 5 key commitments. It's often what defines them.

Learning how to put things into perspective when you feel that life has sideswiped you into a ditch is something that Valorie has learned to do over time. These 5 Commitments to Resilience are an offering for you to learn and apply these tools yourself. And who knows, perhaps you won't end up in that ditch after all.

Resilience isn't just naturally engrained into humans. Life kicks us down, some more than others, and how we handle those situations can ultimately define our success beyond those adversities.

We had a tiny hiccup ourselves recently, actually. In this episode, in fact. You're going to notice a video glitch at minute 16:40 but don't be alarmed; we made sure the audio still works great, and we didn't want you to miss out on the insight -- so we push through with resilience!

If something rocks your world – from a life-threatening diagnosis to losing a loved one – it's possible to grow through these unintentional, unwanted challenges if you are intentional. That's the first pearl of wisdom Valorie is offering us.

Learn why throwing yourself a pity party won't work, and choosing to dwell on the thoughts you can control is a better way to be intentional in overcoming your adversity. Resilience is a skill we can all learn in this engaging and relatable episode. You can decide to be courageous today. Please join us.

"When you get humbled in your life, it changes you. And if you're intentional, it can change you for the better." ~ Valorie Burton

In This Episode:

- Becoming intentional about dealing with life's adversities

- Understanding post-traumatic growth

- Learning to say: I will not feel sorry for myself

- Asking yourself: what is it I can control?

- Learning not to stare at the closed door

- Making a decision to be courageous

- How to choose the thoughts that you dwell on

- Looking for the good things that can come from bad circumstances

- Appreciating that resilience is a skill that can be learned

And so much more!

The 5 Commitments

- I Will Not Feel Sorry For Myself

- I Will Not Stare At The Closed Door

- I Will Dig Deep To Unearth All The Courage I Need

- I Will Direct My Thoughts (MY Thoughts Will Not Direct Me)

- I Choose To Believe All Things Work Together For Good

Coaching Questions:

- Which of these five commitments resonates the most for you right now?

- What would shift for you if you embraced that commitment wholeheartedly?

Connect with Valorie Burton:

- Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

- Website - https://valorieburton.com/

- Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

- LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

- YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton

A 3-Step Process to Increase Your Confidence Right Now Jul 26, 2023

Show notes

Why is it that women will only apply for a job when they meet ALL of the requirements, whereas men will apply for jobs when they often only meet half? There is a lot of research on how women underestimate their abilities and speak with less confidence about their accomplishments.

So, what can you do as a Successful Woman who Thinks Differently to start building confidence today? Valorie starts with an appraisal of the areas of our life where a lack of confidence might have prevented us from doing more. Maybe it’s a job you never applied for, or maybe it’s a relationship you didn’t believe you were good enough to be in.

Upon reflection, you may see a pattern of inaction that played a part in your not seizing the moment. How we turn our thoughts into action is the antidote – and indeed a veritable definition of confidence – that Valorie is asking us to embrace.

It’s about taking a small action NOW and trusting our talent and ability. Seeing confidence as part of a cycle that leads to action, which brings success, and with it, more confidence is the smart approach that will inspire you as a Successful Woman not just to Think Differently but to TAKE ACTION too. And remember, that action starts with one small achievable step. Please join us.

The definition I love most of confidence is that confidence is the stuff that turns our thoughts into action.” ~ Valorie Burton

In This Episode:

- How a lack of confidence can negatively impact your opportunities in life

- The difference between living on purpose and living by accident

- Learning to overcome a ‘Then I will…’ mindset

- Understanding the cycle of confidence, action, and success

- What does self-efficacy mean to you?

- Valorie’s podcasting journey as it pertains to confidence

- How a personal trainer helped Valorie’s consistency (which builds confidence)

- Starting with the small wins - and building consistently from there

Coaching Questions:

- Where are you when it comes to your confidence?

- What is a goal that you have that you’ve been putting off?

- What is a doable step or action you can take toward achieving that goal right now?

- When could you take that step?

Connect with Valorie Burton:

- Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

- Website - https://valorieburton.com/

- Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

- LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

- YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton

3 Proven Strategies to Reign in Your Perfectionism Jul 19, 2023

Show notes

Do you ever find it difficult to complete any project because you’re still putting the finishing touches on it? Do you keep putting off goals because the timing isn’t right? In other words, is your perfectionism getting in the way of you living a successful life?

Perfectionism is a problem. Sometimes we talk about it as a humble brag when we say things like, "Oh, I’m such a perfectionist!” But the truth of the matter is that sometimes perfectionism can keep you from realizing your dreams!

Valorie is impressing upon us an important lesson in today’s episode of Successful Women Think Differently. And that is that excellence and perfectionism are not one and the same. Excellence is a process that accepts that you might make mistakes along the way, whereas perfectionism is, in fact, rooted in fear.

Learn how to play out your fears of what will happen if things don’t work out quite as perfectly as you hope or plan. Don’t get stuck in the ‘what if’ of it all!

Valorie’s three strategies to help you reign in your perfectionism and start galloping towards your dreams with a mindset of excellence are the secret sauce in this week’s episode of Successful Women Think Differently. Please join us!

“Perfectionism is rooted in that fear that perhaps you’re never going to be good enough.” ~ Valorie Burton

In This Episode:

- Understanding the difference between excellence and perfectionism

- Appreciating how perfectionism may be holding you back

- Valorie shares how her aunt’s perfectionism prevented her from seeing her published masterpiece

- What do you fear will happen if things don’t work out exactly as you have planned?

- Asking yourself ‘What if?’ when roleplaying a scenario where your perfectionism doesn’t materialize

- Focusing on progress and not perfection

- Setting your minimum standard (what does good enough look like?)

- Perfecting your top priority

And so much more!

Coaching Questions:

- What are you afraid will happen if you do it imperfectly?

- What if that happens? What would you do?

- What does “good enough” look like? Define it.

Connect with Valorie Burton:

- Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

- Website - https://valorieburton.com/

- Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

- LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

- YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton

Real Life Coaching Session: Pushing Through Fear to Bring Your Real Dream to Life Jul 12, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever talked yourself out of your dream? You know what you are capable of; start down the path, and then doubt or fear starts creeping in.

In today's episode, Valorie coaches Tia. She's a retired colonel who transitioned into the private sector and feels stuck. Tia is second-guessing herself as she enters unfamiliar territory in a new career where, for the first time, the next steps aren't laid out for her, and she has to forge her own path.

If you've ever made a significant transition, veering off the beaten path, you know the fear and self-doubt that can creep up. But here's the thing—we all experience it. The key is to find that extra dose of courage and take the leap into the unknown.

Get ready to eavesdrop on Valorie and Tia's inspiring coaching conversation. They'll help you uncover some hidden wisdom buried deep within you. Yes, you've already got the answers within you. Sometimes, it just takes a moment of reflection and the right questions to bring your vision to life.

Remember, your growth determines how far you'll go on this fantastic journey. So, buckle up and join us as we unravel the secrets of courage and self-discovery. It's time to tap into your true potential and embark on a transformational adventure.

Ready to embark on this excellent coaching session? Tune in now and let the journey begin. Who knows what remarkable things await once you summon the courage to take that first step? Let's do this!

"I don’t believe in fearlessness. We all feel fear. What we need in the face of our fear is to get the kind of clarity that helps us to be more courageous so that we can keep taking those steps forward towards the vision that we have for ourselves." ~ Valorie Burton

In This Episode:

- Fearlessness doesn’t exist.

- What would it look like to be courageous?

- What price are you willing to pay to have the thing you want the most?

- Security and safety as high values

- Putting money away to finance your passion

- The if-then planning method

- What if your fear becomes a reality?

- The distinction between doing something and wanting to do it

- What are your next steps?

- Using the skills you already have for your next steps

And so much more!

Coaching Question:

- What are your next steps, and when are you going to take them?

Connect with Valorie Burton:

- Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

- Website - https://valorieburton.com/

- Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

- LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

- YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton

Flip the Script: How Doing the Opposite of What’s Expected Can Create a Breakthrough Jul 05, 2023

Show notes

Have you heard of a concept called Complementarity? It’s a powerful communication tool that turns even the most challenging people and situations completely around.

If you've ever had someone throw you for a loop with their negativity, causing you to act as badly as them, then this episode of Successful Women Think Differently will help you to interrupt that pattern and shift the dynamics of a potentially toxic interaction.

It's time to 'flip the script' of how we meet toxic energy with negativity.

Kindness, curiosity, help, and silence are all unexpected reactions that you can use to prevent emotions from escalating and a situation from spiraling out of control.

As Valorie teaches us, if it can work in hostage situations to defuse tension, then doing the unexpected can work in our lives too.

By breaking the pattern of negativity with a non-complementary, positive action of our own, we are more likely to be met (in kind) with kindness. This is because, as humans, we practice what we call mirroring behavior.

Learn how to choose words that take you closer to your goal, and keep focused on your vision. Let's not allow our emotions to make our decisions for us as we respond rather than react. Please join us.

"If your eye is on the vision, you'll understand that empathy and compassion keep you from getting bogged down in someone else's issues." ~ Valorie Burton

In This Episode:

- Understanding how to turn 'flipping the script' into a habit

- How a traumatic dinner party with guests at gunpoint turned into a miracle turnaround

- Unpacking how to ‘break the pattern’ when emotions escalate

- Learning not to give a negative reaction when someone pushes your button

- How can you use complementarity as an effective communication tool?

- Keeping your goal in mind when you are communicating with someone who is angry

And so much more!

Coaching Questions:

- In what situation do I tend to get stuck in negative complementary behavior?

- What is the bigger picture of where I want to go?

- Is my reaction moving me closer to my goal - or is it moving me further away?

- What is the complementary behavior that I would like to create?

- What can I say or do to create that?

Connect with Valorie Burton:

- Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

- Website - https://valorieburton.com/

- Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

- LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

- YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton

How to Make Peace With Lost Time Jun 28, 2023

Show notes

Do you ever feel that time is slipping away and you have missed your opportunity to achieve your big dream?

If you feel like you're in the wrong career, or that you should have saved and invested more by now, or started that business you've always wanted to do, it can be easy to beat yourself up and become riddled with fear when you hear the clock ticking.

So, what does it look like to make peace with lost time? Today Valorie Burton is sharing her tips on how to come to terms with that feeling that life is passing you by, as well as some insight into how you can also create a future for yourself that is something to get excited about.

For Valorie, she turned her story of divorce and no kids at 30 into a story of triumph. In this poignant episode, she encourages us to face forward and embrace our time now with three simple steps.

Feel the sting of lost time and then grow from that pain. What choices do you want to make with the time you still have now? It's time to reimagine your vision. Please join us.

"A lot of times when we step out on faith with a goal, we have an idea of how long it's going to take. And typically, often, it is so much longer. Have you been there?" ~ Valorie Burton

In This Episode:

- Appreciating that our deepest desires often take the longest time

- Valorie's childhood dreams of being a successful career mom

- How do you plan for love, marriage, and kids?

- Dealing with the sting of lost time

- How to embrace the time you have NOW

- What three things can you start doing now?

And so much more!

Coaching Question:

- Looking back ten years from now, what would you wish you had done?

Connect with Valorie Burton:

- Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

- Website - https://valorieburton.com/

- Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

- LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

- YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton

Let Go of the Guilt: How to Stop Beating Yourself up and Take Back Your Joy Jun 21, 2023

Show notes

Do you beat yourself up when you don’t do things perfectly? Do you struggle with that nagging feeling that you've never quite done enough? Perhaps, for example, you have felt guilty about motherhood when you're achieving success in your career.

If so, you are not alone. The same character trait that drives you to succeed as a successful woman may also be weighing you down with a feeling of guilt that you should be doing more.

So how do we learn to let go of these feelings of guilt so that we can live a life that is unencumbered by the unnecessary weight of expectation we place on ourselves (or others place on us)?

Valorie Burton teaches us how to do just that and take back our joy in today's inspiring episode of Successful Women Think Differently.

First, we start with an understanding of why women are more prone to guilt and an examination of what guilt looks like in our everyday lives. From saying yes when we mean to say no, to letting others cross our boundaries, there are myriad ways we allow ourselves to feel guilty (without even knowing it) – and then make poor decisions.

Recognizing that guilt is just a message and so an opportunity for change is a positive approach to take. Learning the difference between authentic and false guilt is the start of our journey to take back our joy. So don't go on that guilt trip if you don't need to – it will only leave you in debt! Please join us.

"Most of the guilt that we're feeling, it's not authentic. It's not that we have caused harm or that we have done something wrong. It's that we are telling ourselves that we've caused harm or we've done something wrong." ~ Valorie Burton

In This Episode:

- Are women more prone to guilt?

- What does guilt look like?

- How guilt can lead us to make bad decisions

- The difference between authentic and false guilt

- Understanding how we perceive guilt as a debt

- Why vague or outdated expectations can lead to feeling that we haven't done enough

- Why guilt can lead to enabling behavior

- How have you been beating yourself up?

- What expectations are serving you well?

And so much more!

Coaching Question:

- Is this authentic guilt or false guilt that you are experiencing?

Connect with Valorie Burton:

- Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

- Website - https://valorieburton.com/

- Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

- LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

- Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

- YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton

Get Out of Time Debt: How to Eliminate Overwhelm and Build Time Wealth Jun 14, 2023

Show notes

There's a type of debt that far too many people are drowning in – and it's not financial debt. This kind of debt is stressful too. It can steal your dreams and your relationships and leave you with that nasty feeling of regret.

Valorie Burton is talking about Time Debt on today's episode of Successful Women Think Differently.

How can we overcome our time poverty and time debt and get on the road to building time freedom and time wealth? For starters, we have more choices than we give ourselves credit for, and so getting out of time debt begins with a mindset shift that is swiftly followed by changing your habits.

Valorie is sharing her insights into the personal epiphany she experienced when she realized that her 'time optimism' (believing anything was possible and that time wasn't really an obstacle) had led her to feel overwhelmed, less productive, and in serious 'time debt.'

Buying back your time so that you can spend that time more wisely and create time wealth for yourself becomes a pleasure when you realize that the power to change is in your hands.

Don't let the tick-tock of Father Time stop you as a successful woman from thinking differently about how you reschedule your priorities in alignment with a 'time vision' for your life that will lead you to ever greater joy and success. Please join us.

"I didn't use to be so intentional about my time. And I came to realize that I had started a business because I wanted more time, and yet I was operating as though someone else was in control of that time." ~ Valorie Burton

In This Episode:

- Understanding how time debt impacts our productivity

- Valorie's experiment of a summer hiatus

- Getting serious about how you spend your time – and where it goes

- Adjusting your work schedule to fit your child's schedule

- Who's controlling your time?

- Clearing some things off your schedule and asking for help

- Tackling the more difficult things first

- When can you start building time wealth – and what will that look like for you?

And so much more!

Coaching Questions:

- How much time debt are you in?

- What will it take for you to climb out?

- What do you want your normal to look like when it comes to time?

Connect with Valorie Burton:

Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

Website - https://valorieburton.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton

Daring to Dream Big: Learning to Persevere and Trust Your Intuition With Emmy-Nominated Screenwriter Kristin Tucker Jun 07, 2023

Show notes

Hey there! Before we dive into this incredible episode, we wanted to give you a heads-up. We experienced a slight hiccup with our audio during the interview, but rest assured, the content is absolutely phenomenal. So please excuse any audio glitches you hear during this episode.

Do you ever feel like your dream is too big? That your life plan requires so much money, time, and resources that you just don't have access to? Perhaps you're even some ways along in your journey and those moments of doubting your vision lead to feelings of overwhelm. You need to hear three words of inspiration: stay the course!

Today's topic on Successful Women Think Differently is all about persevering when your vision takes longer than you thought. And today's guest is the multi-talented screenwriter Kristin Tucker, who is talking about having that singularity of focus you need to achieve your goals.

Kristin is an Emmy-nominated screenwriter for the pioneering Max show, 'A Black Lady Sketch Show', the first sketch-comedy series written and directed by (and starring!) black women. Kristin also wrote for season two of the acclaimed series The Flight Attendant on Max.

Her most recent writing project is a Netflix drama called Redd Zone, based on the true story of a single California mother who helps her son and his high school football teammates deal with the murder of their friend.

And while she wouldn't say that she and Patience are 'besties,' she has learned not to compromise on who you are as a person by taking a job that isn't aligned with your vision. Abundance can be accessed in other ways too.

Please join us on this heartfelt interview that is as much about thinking differently as it is intuiting differently, and learning to trust in your path differently, too.

"Maybe I had to go the long route, but at least I went the route that felt good to me as a person. And where I felt treated as I should have been treated." ~ Kristin Tucker

In This Episode:

- Finding the right balance between gratitude and ambition

- Creating opportunities for young Black women to succeed

- Kristin shares her journey to becoming a screenwriter

- The value in making time as a writer to tune into what is already waiting to be expressed

- Trusting in your ability and overcoming Imposter Syndrome

- Learning to listen to your soul's voice – and practice patience

- Accessing abundance in different ways

- Unpacking the current Writer's Strike

And so much more!

Coaching Questions:

- What’s your big dream?

- What are you telling yourself when you face disappointment on the road to your dream? Is that thought helping you persevere or encouraging you to give up? What empowering thought could you respond with when you get discouraged?

- What does your intuition tell you about your dream?

- What is the vision for where you want to be that excites you so much you’ll keep going no matter what?

- What’s your biggest Takeaway from this episode?

Connect with Valorie Burton:

Check out all of Valorie's books here- https://valorieburton.com/books/

Website - https://valorieburton.com/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/valorieburton/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/valorieburton/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/valorieburton/

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@valorieburton