Stronger Marriage Connection

Dr. Liz Hale:

The Three Phases To Rebuild Trust After Infidelity | Bill Bumberry | 186 Jun 22, 2026

Show notes

Discovering infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences a couple faces. In this episode, Dr. Bill Bumberry shares practical guidance and hope for couples navigating betrayal trauma and rebuilding trust. Drawing on decades of clinical experience and the Gottman Method, Bill explains the three key phases of healing after infidelity—atonement, attunement, and attachment—and offers actionable strategies for restoring safety, connection, and commitment. Whether you're recovering from betrayal or looking to strengthen your relationship against future threats, this conversation provides valuable insight and encouragement.

• defining infidelity as betraying an agreement plus secrecy
• why social media and dating apps make hiding easier
• how friendships drift into emotional and physical affairs
• common trauma responses for the hurt partner, including hypervigilance and dysregulation
• why remorse has to become active compassion to restore safety
• using the Gottman phases of atonement, attunement, and attachment
• deciding which details help and which details harm early on
• how avoidance and negative sentiment override set the stage for disconnection
• what to consider when talking with kids at different ages
• daily connection rituals that matter most, including the first two minutes together
• loyalty as an active practice, especially when your partner is not present

Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.

Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store

Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

Dr. Liz Hale:

Why Conflict Is A Cry For Safety And How To Respond | Kirsten Davidson | 185 Jun 15, 2026

Show notes

We sit down with psychotherapist Kirsten Davidson to unpack why couples drift into disconnection and how Internal Family Systems therapy can help us lead ourselves with more clarity, compassion, and courage. We challenge the stories we tell ourselves in conflict, practice speaking from “parts” instead of blame, and lay out simple shifts that rebuild real connection.
• assumptions driving communication breakdowns and unnecessary hurt
• avoiding hard talks out of fear of the truth and discomfort
• using IFS “parts” language to create space and reduce shame
• defining self-energy and what “self-led” looks like at home
• turning fights into dialogue instead of debate
• choosing radical honesty about our limits and patterns
• why couples counseling works better when we go earlier
• tips for newlyweds and engaged couples to benchmark what works
• resources to learn IFS, including Richard Schwartz’s No Bad Parts
• how we build hope when couples feel exhausted and stuck

Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.

Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store

Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

Dr. Liz Hale:

Why Trying To Be Perfect Can Ruin Your Relationship | Andrea Dindinger | 184 Jun 08, 2026

Show notes

We sit down with marriage and family therapist Andrea Dindinger to name the repeat fight loops that hijack connection and to practice simple ways to interrupt them before they turn mean. We walk away with concrete tools for calmer conflict, deeper intimacy, and more intentional partnership that ripples into the next generation.

• naming the “loop” as the problem, not each other
• spotting triggers and the deeper needs underneath them
• using “bookmark” to pause conflict and return at a specific time
• building trust by always coming back to the bookmarked talk
• leading the moment by listening without taking it personally
• using a firm “stop” paired with reassurance and safety
• choosing curiosity before defensiveness as a relationship superpower
• rethinking intimacy through “sexy logistics” and mental load
• trying a 21-day experiment of small daily connection practices
• letting go of perfection and focusing on repair and accountability
• creating a shared vision and doing an annual relationship review

Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.

Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store

Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

Dr. Liz Hale:

Why Embracing Vulnerability Is Key To Rebuilding Trust | Josh Otani | 183 Jun 01, 2026

Show notes

We sit down with therapist Josh O’Tani to talk about pornography use as a couples issue and why secrecy can wound a relationship as deeply as infidelity. We map the shame and anger cycle that keeps partners stuck, then share practical ways to rebuild trust through curiosity, empathy, and consistent repair.
• Reframing pornography use as relational and systemic, not just individual behavior
• Pornography as a coping strategy for difficult emotions and how avoidance spills into marriage
• The negative interaction cycle after betrayal, including shame, fixing, withdrawal, anger, and distrust
• Why empty promises fail and how trust rebuilds through time and consistency
• Why secrecy matters more than the content for many couples
• Confessing early versus being discovered and the impact on safety and vulnerability
• Betrayal trauma responses, including volatility and PTSD-like symptoms
• Simple language shifts that validate pain without defensiveness
• Clarifying values and agreeing on goals, abstinence versus negotiated boundaries
• Tools from emotionally focused therapy, enactments, and impact versus intent
• The mindset shift that you don’t have to heal alone, and why professional help accelerates progress
• Where to find Josh and his resources at Big Valley Therapy

Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.

Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store

Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

Dr. Liz Hale:

The Secret of Erotic Blueprints To Revive Your Marriage | Keeley Rankin | #182 May 25, 2026

Show notes

Sexual intimacy changes over the arc of a long-term relationship, and treating every lull like a crisis often adds pressure that makes things worse. We talk with sex and relationship coach Keeley Rankin about how to rebuild closeness through curiosity, kinder communication, and a better understanding of what each partner actually desires.
• Defining what “sexless marriage” can mean and why the couple’s definition matters most
• Moving beyond frequency to sexual satisfaction and quality of connection
• Common reasons couples drift including stress, life transitions, and emotional safety
• Starting the conversation outside the bedroom and making it ongoing
• Avoiding blame, guilt, and pressure that shut down desire
• Using Erotic Blueprints to talk about turn-ons and touch styles
• Why many couples become touchless before becoming sexless
• What healthy long-term sexuality often looks like including playfulness and openness
• Keeping the spark alive with kindness, respect, and curiosity
• Where to find Keely’s courses and support

Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.

Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store

Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

Dr. Liz Hale:

A Strong Relationship Can Outlive Death | C. Ryan Dunn | #181 May 18, 2026

Show notes

We talk honestly about grief, loss, and why love can keep shaping us even after someone is gone. We share research and real stories that reframe mourning as both painful and meaningful, then land on practical ways to build a relationship that strengthens you now and later.
• why grief is complex across mind and body
• what predicts higher grief levels in young widowhood
• loss-oriented versus restoration-oriented coping
• how relationship length and intimacy relate to grief impact
• continuing bonds and why remembering can help
• why comparing losses creates a harmful grief hierarchy
• how divorce and other losses fit the same grief principles
• why grief can feel like physical pain in the brain
• emotional estate planning through a relational piggy bank
• three daily practices: time, talk, togetherness

Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.

Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store

Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

Dr. Liz Hale:

Rebuilding Intimacy In Marriage | Nick and Amy McKinlay | #180 May 11, 2026

Show notes

We talk with Nick and Amy about how their marriage nearly ended, and how rebuilding emotional safety brought back real connection and passionate sexual intimacy. They share the simple habits and tools that helped them stop drifting, communicate about hard topics, and create the Ultimate Intimacy app to help other couples do the same.

• their turning point after financial stress and burnout
• why sex can stay frequent yet still feel disconnected
• emotional safety as listening plus caring plus follow-through
• date night as a weekly nonnegotiable that rebuilds closeness
• kindness, respect, and loyalty as the base for sexual intimacy
• the intimacy gap pattern and why couples get stuck
• how app prompts make taboo conversations easier to start
• phone boundaries, mental load talks, and acting like teammates
• one daily question that shifts the whole marriage
• refusing to settle for a mediocre marriage

Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.

Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store

Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

Dr. Liz Hale:

Protecting Your Marriage During The Transition To Parenthood | Sean Brotherson | #179 May 04, 2026

Show notes

We welcome Dr. Sean Brotherson to talk about the joys and pressures of becoming parents and how that transition can strain or strengthen a marriage. We share concrete ways to stay connected through fatigue, changing roles, and shifting intimacy while building the stability kids need most.
• why the transition to parenthood feels so intense even with preparation
• setting realistic expectations through education, planning, and honest conversations
• protecting couple time with simple routines like consistent bedtimes
• children’s core need for security and how marital stability supports it
• how partners experience parenthood differently and why comparing “top stressors” helps
• daily check-ins and small rituals of connection that build resilience
• navigating intrusive in-laws with healthy boundaries
• dividing childcare and housework based on perceived fairness and changing seasons
• warning signs of emotional disconnection and ways to stay close physically and emotionally
• building your village so you can rest, date, and keep choosing each other

Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.

Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store

Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm:

Dr. Liz Hale:

How Emotional Closeness Builds Better Sex In Marriage | Chelom Leavitt | #178 Apr 27, 2026

Show notes

We sit down with Dr. Chelom Leavitt to unpack why emotional intimacy is the strongest predictor of sexual wellbeing and what “feeling seen” actually looks like in a real marriage. We share science, stories, and simple daily practices that help us build trust, repair disconnection, and create a safer path to desire over time.
• emotional intimacy as being known and accepted, including fears and weaknesses
• why emotional connection shapes sexual satisfaction and long-term desire
• the oxytocin difference that often drives “connection first” vs “sex first” conflict
• small daily reunions, check-ins, and repair as the real builders of closeness
• mindful practices like a five-minute hug, shared breathing, and quiet eye contact
• vulnerability as a signal of safety, trust, and gentle handling
• interrupting an approach withdraw rut with a bold, planned conversation
• engaged and newlywed guidance, including permission to go slow on the wedding night
• sex frequency myths, what research suggests, and when to be concerned
• practical advice for men to create space for initiation and for women to protect emotional safety

Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.

Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book Store

Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce

The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Dr. Dave Schramm: