Statesmen

Latest Episodes:

Socially Distant Santa with Joe Cariola Dec 22, 2020

Show notes

Spend your Christmas morning on the couch listening to your favorite podcast, while contemplating the empty spot in the home that you thought you might fill with a tree this year, but which you ultimately put off too long to actually buy.

The holidays are full of Drama like that, so why not listen to this episode for a little comedy instead?

For the third year in a row, the Statesmen are joined by sweet Chicago comedian Joe Cariola to celebrate another tipsy holiday season, but this time from a safe distance! We've got games, heavy drinking, and the convoluted time travel element from our last Christmas special is (almost) entirely gone!

Find Joe HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Santa HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.

Minnesota 2 with Tom Dyke Dec 15, 2020

Show notes

The Mall of America has over 500 stores, and this episode has over 500 laughs! (although some of those stores/laughs have adjusted hours due to the pandemic.)

This week we're joined by Minnesota native, and gaming savant, Tom Dyke! He'll be our guide to the frozen north as we cover the finer points of mac and cheese shapes, what it means to be a chicken guy, and the answer to life's greatest question: "what's that sound you make when you die in Roblox?"

The state is unforgettable, and so is this episode. Listen up!

Find Tom HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Stuart HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.

Missouri 3 with Caleb Hearon Dec 08, 2020

Show notes

This episode is better than sliced bread! But I know that's not saying much... I promise, it's like so much better than sliced bread...

This week we're joined by historically gay internet celebrity (he told us to say that) Caleb Hearon! He'll walk us through life growing up in a small Missouri town, and how it helped to shape the man he is today!

(Statesmen Media LLC does not support or condone the views of Anthony Rossi in relation to Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede.)

Find Caleb HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Stuart HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.

Vermont 2 with Shelby Wolstein Dec 01, 2020

Show notes

Winter is coming and you need a hefty coat to stave off that frigid ice witch when she inevitably knocks on your door. Better head to the place where coats are practically grown on trees... Burlington Vermont! (Burlington like the coat factory I guess? that's fucking hilarious!)

This week we're joined by Podcaster, Comedian, and High Jumper, Shelby Wolstein, who walks us through the culture of her college town. We talk celebrity ice cream, put sugar on our snow, and discuss the possibly that one stack of filing cabinets, is just as interesting as another stack of filing cabinets. You really can't miss this one folks!

Find Shelby HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Stuart HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.

New Jersey 3 with Chuck Sutton Nov 24, 2020

Show notes

The Sopranos Finale cut to black and New Jersey culture let out perfect synchronized scream, "WOAH! WHAT'S THIS OVER HERE?"

If only that finale could go on forever. Instead of one hour long, how about 2 hours long? How about longer than that?! WHO COULD EVER CREATE CONTENT THAT LONG?!

(hint: it's us.)

This week the Statesmen are joined by the New Jersey native, beat-cutting verse-mixer and seriously friendly boy, Chuck Sutton. He helps us explore the fancy northeastern corners of The Garden State. What's buried in your Garden?

Find Chuck HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Stuart HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.

State Match Maker with Laura Maynard Nov 17, 2020

Show notes

Once every 10 years the powerful hex surrounding Mount Love is broken in twain, allowing the mountains inhabitant to visit us mortals. Now, for only the second time in Statesmen (and world) history, we've got a damn love expert on the show!

It's officially cuffing season throughout The 50! This week the Love Master herself, Laura Maynard, returns to the show to help us pick the perfect State First Date couples. We talk and Holograms on this "lovely" special episode ;)

Find Laura HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Stuart HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.

Pennsylvania 2 with John DelViscio Nov 10, 2020

Show notes

"Commonwealth?" the gruff old man questioned to the universe. "Sounds like socialism to me." He quipped, before putting on a dunce cap and making boom boom in his diaper.

This week The Statesmen are joined by Pennsylvania native John DelViscio to finally return to the birthplace of American Freedom. Does the liberty bell smell like a bell pepper? Which Jonas brother is actually hot? Can a southern rooster get pregnant? Listen up for at least SOME of these answers!

Find John HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Stuart HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.

Washington D.C. 2 with Christopher Isaacson Nov 03, 2020

Show notes

The Heart of America? Is it beating in the chests of our citizens, or found literally at the geographical center of our nations borders? Nope, it's behind the gleaming white pillars and air head politicians in the nation's capital, Washington D.C.!

This week The Statesmen are joined by D.C. native, and comedy weirdo, Christopher Isaacson. Chris helps us set the record straight on this (almost) state! So participate in your civic duty, cast your vote, and make sure you fill in the bubble all the way, because this November The Statesmen are surfing a mighty wave into the white house!*

*(a wave of laughter an applause, that is.)

Find Christopher HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Stuart HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.

Haunted House Party with Fraxiom Oct 27, 2020

Show notes

Happy Hyperpop Halloween my little Ghouls and Goblins!

This year we celebrate the scariest holiday of all with musical artist, big time CEO, and child of the internet, Fraxiom! They help us create the scariest Haunted House attraction this side of Halloweentown using just the five senses and our terrible jokes as building materials!

So keep your costume on but forget the candy bags! Just grab the rave candy on your wrist and enter into an audio foam party the likes of which have never been heard before!

Listen Up... IF YOU DARE!

Find Fraxiom HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Stuart HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.

California 2 with Grace Kuhlenschmidt Oct 21, 2020

Show notes

Let's go Surfin' now, everybody's learnin' how, Please listen to Statesmen with me!

That's right folks, this week we're going going, back back, to Cali Cali on our most exciting sequel episode yet! Joined by boho LA beach queen (and hilarious comedian) Grace Kuhlenschmidt, the boys tour the west coast... but is it really the best coast?

Listen to find out!

Find Grace HERE.

Find Tim HERE.

Find Stuart HERE.

Find Anthony HERE.

Find Camden HERE.