Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Latest Episodes:

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Part 3 - Alfland in Dwemer is Pronounced Melmac Sep 27, 2021

Show notes

Oh boy! It's time for further adventures of mural exposition, with Joan Allen calling Max Von Sidow a big nerd for caring about second age tryptarchs. On this chunker of Bethesda's Skyrim we need to get our hands on one of those fancy Elder Scrolls. But how?! By talking to a sexy Orc librarian, heading down to a magical mushroom kingdom, solving a spinny puzzle, and so much more! Also this week: - Who wins in a fight, the Eternals versus the Inhumans? - Conjure Flame Astronaut - It's Your Inn Now - Dwarf Ruins CD burning - Mixing Up Forsworn and Falmers

This Week: We complete Elder Knowledge! Next Week: We either pick a side or negotiate a truce in Season Unending!

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Square Roots September 2021 Patreon Vote! Sep 21, 2021

Show notes

Hello! We are having a vote! On our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

Our choices:

Vanessa - Deus Ex: Human Revolution (2011)

Jim - Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch (2011)

Johnny - Alpha Protocol (2010) Matthew - Tales of Vesperia (2008)

So join our $5 tier and vote! YEAH!

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Part 2 - And His Name Was Mister Slaps Sep 20, 2021

Show notes

Oh boy! We're deep into the legend of the Dovahkiin in this week's chunk of Bethesda's super beloved Skyrim! On this chunker we impress Daphne / Delphine, learn to shout, and meet a couple of dragons. It's great! Also:

- Don't Think About Frasier! - Mind bending 1990s music videos! - It's like a blanket party but they're yelling at you! - Let Me Be Frank: Redux - Jack... Kirby?'s... Inhumans! - In Sweden he's just called the Chef! - Facbook Made Me Say That - What If Vanessa Goes To the Magic Castle - Johnny's Great First Date Ideas

This Week: We finish the Blades quest Diplomatic Immunity! Next Week: We complete Elder Knowledge!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven

Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Part 1 - Eleven Herbs and Spices That May Awaken Your Craving For Human Flesh Transforming You Into A Wendigo Sep 13, 2021

Show notes

Since we're tackling a very non-linear open world RPG with Bethesda's Skyrim, this time we're doing things a little differently: after a main quest runthrough we each describe the adventures of our own very special characters. It's a surprisingly bug-free playthrough as we pull up in our cart to Helgen, where our executions await! Also:

- The Jerky Boys Musical - The Vore Seasons - Presto Kazaam, Mind Freak - Godzilla's Bound Sword - The Friendzies Spell - Mads Mikkelson Cheekbones - Jerpigs - A Song For Straight Men

This Week: We fight our first dragon outside of Whiterun! Next Week: We finish the Blades quest Diplomatic Immunity!

Legend of Mana Part 6 - Teleport is a Kind of Go Sep 06, 2021

Show notes

Teleport is a kind of go. Drive is a kind of go. Imagine? Also a kind of go! How many kinds of go can you name? In this climactic conclusion to our Legend of Mana playthrough, our hero has to go through pretty much every dungeon in the game chasing our favorite li'l cactus. Also: - A Secret Kawazu Game! - The Most Popular Toy in the World - A Bizarre Sin Stance Change - Vanessa's Nuclear Mana Tree Theory - Pelican Mouth Injuries

This Week: We finish the game! Next Week: We fight our first dragon outside of Whiterun!

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Legend of Mana Part 5 - Butter Lisa Aug 30, 2021

Show notes

We ask so many questions in this chunker of Square's Legend of Mana. Would Gilbert's lines work on a real woman? Can you cure amnesia with another concussion? Would a visual novel be better with real photos? Will the X-Files FMV game ever be re-released? Also: - Deep Insight into Diddle - Virtual Jerry Orbach - Is BDG a centaur? Is Adam Driver a monster? - Manhattan, Kansas Narrowcasting - A game that makes more dick jokes than we do? - Matt's Superman Style Story

This Week: The Wimpy Thugling Next Week: We finish the game!

Legend of Mana Part 4 - BOYS NIGHT Aug 23, 2021

Show notes

Vanessa leaves early so you night what that means: BOYS NIGHT. We're getting into the back half of Legend of Mana, and starting to wrap up some plotlines. Aren't you curious about Matilda and Irwin? Valerie and David? Also: - Johnny and the Horrible Nightmare Beach - What does Ayn Rand have to do with it? - THE BONE FORTRESS! YEEEEEAH! - Tell Me More! - What is Pig like? - Next game announced!

This Week: Catchin' Lilipeas Next Week: The Wimpy Thugling

Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast

Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Legend of Mana Part 3 - Family Comma Sexual Aug 16, 2021

Show notes

Content Warning: Suicide

We're descending into the underworld and making some strange allies in this chunker of Squaresoft's 2000 cult classic Legend of Mana. Also: - Vanessa's Magician Crush Origin Story - "I Thought He Should"? - Legs That Go Right Into His Feet - Big Mouth Billy Bass - Diddle's dark descent - Stars Spin As They Fall When You're Trying To Catch Your Breath

This Week: We finish The Guardian of Wind! Next Week: We finish Catchin' Lilipeas!

Legend of Mana Part 2 - They Love Lamp Aug 09, 2021

Show notes

We're really getting into Legend of Mana now as we make our way through this complicated but simple action RPG. A lot happens, we think? There's incredibly depressing junkyard toys, pinglings, a walrus man and... a turtle?! Also: - Terrifying Nightmare Cactus - Matt's hot Jojo take - Johnny and Jim's Bunk Beds - Dubba Baba Dud - Trying to Politely Describe the Necklace Pearl Has

This Week: We finish the Murmuring Forest! Next Week: We finish The Guardian of Wind! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com

Legend of Mana Part 1 - Is a Plant a Robot? Aug 02, 2021

Show notes

Alright, now we move on to a new game: Squaresoft's bonkers Legend of Mana! If you're expecting Secret of Mana 2, it's not that, it's more like... a complicated board game that doesn't tell you how to play it combined with fun side-scrolling brawler. On this episode: - We get an exclusive 30 second celebrity interview! - Placing a Mailbox: a complicated decision - Johnny licks his foot - Jim and Matt's Legend of Mana Punishment - Diddle's Nightmarish Form - Why the Square Roots House smells like smoked meats

This Week: We complete the event Path of the Blacksmith in Legend of Mana! Next Week: We finish the Murmuring Forest! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/486022898258197/ Email: squarerootspodcast (at) gmail (dort) com This Season's Theme by Javagore

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