Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

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Latest Episodes:

Weaponized incompetence and other ADHD “crimes” (Reddit Reactions) Dec 02, 2025

Show notes

We’re back with another spicy Reddit Reactions episode!

This week, we dive into two wildly relatable ADHD relationship posts: one about a partner claiming “you lost your sparkle” (eye roll), and another spiraling over chores, shame, and new-job burnout. We unpack toxic dynamics, people-pleasing, clutter blindness, and why you’re not weaponizing incompetence.

For more on this topic:

Listen: ADHD, cheating, and weaponized incompetence
Watch: ADHD and people-pleasing
Read: What IS weaponized incompetence?

Timestamps:

(01:00) A sparkle-stealing husband

(04:10) Is it ADHD… or a toxic partner?

(08:20) ADHD shame spiral: “I can’t do anything right!”

(11:40) Clutter blindness and burnout

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give.

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ADHD impulsivity and saying yes to sex too fast Nov 18, 2025

Show notes

Ever said yes to sex a little too fast and regretted it later? Same.

Today we’re joined by psychologist and Understood Expert Dr. Ari Tuckman for a candid talk about impulsivity, ADHD, and intimacy. We’ll dig into the messy mix of consent, shame, and emotional regulation. And we’ll talk about how to slow down, stay curious, and find self-compassion after a spicy decision.

For more on this topic:

Timestamps:

02:15 How ADHD-related impulsivity can influence sexual decisions

08:45 Consent, emotional regulation, and navigating pressure or fear of rejection

17:30 Differentiating shame from embarrassment after vulnerable sexual experiences

28:10 Strategies for slowing down and gathering insights from experiences

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

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ADHD, disordered eating, and getting through the holidays Nov 04, 2025

Show notes

The holidays are here — and so is all the food, family, and sensory overload that can come with them. Host Cate Osborn sits down with Aleta Storch, dietitian, nutritionist, ADHD expert, and founder of Wise Heart Nutrition, to talk about food and ADHD. They cover what disordered eating looks like (and how it’s different from a diagnosed eating disorder), why sensory sensitivities can make meals stressful, and what it’s like not to be believed when you say you don’t want to eat something. Plus, the dopamine rush of holiday treats — and how to navigate it all with more compassion and understanding.

(Note: This episode does not dive deeply into diagnosed eating disorders — we’ll have another episode in the future focused entirely on that topic.)

For more on this topic:

The National Eating Disorders Association
ADHD and eating
Understood.org’s “Neurodiversity and the Holidays” survey
Aleta’s website, www.wiseheartnutrition.com
Aleta’s Instagram, @the_adhd_rd

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(02:05) Aleta’s personal story with ADHD and eating

(05:48) What’s the difference between an eating disorder and disordered eating?

(07:46) What about ADHD can affect our relationship with food?

(13:39) Sensory challenges and food

(18:11) The consequences of ignoring our own needs

(20:12) Good food practices to support ourselves and the neurodivergent people in our lives

(26:23) Aleta’s parting advice for the holidays

(28:23) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

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Breaking the burnout cycle: How to move forward Oct 21, 2025

Show notes

In the final episode of our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” three-part series, host Cate Osborn and Dr. Shauna Pollard explore what comes after burnout. They discuss how burnout can affect your relationships, the importance of communicating your needs clearly, and how to reflect on past experiences to avoid repeating patterns.

Cate and Dr. Shauna also shares practical tips for tuning in to yourself, setting boundaries, and creating a plan for moving forward with greater awareness, balance, and resilience.

For more on this topic:

Timestamps:

(00:00) Intro

(01:44) We have more emotions to regulate while in burnout

(05:26) How can burnout impact relationships?

(14:32) Setting boundaries

(17:52) How can we show up for our partners when we’re burned out?

(23:11) Feeling “too much” for needing to have our needs met

(24:44) What do we do if we don’t have a support system?

(28:01) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

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Breaking the burnout cycle: What is rest? Oct 07, 2025

Show notes

Burnout isn’t a weakness. It’s a signal that your body needs real rest.

Dr. Shauna Pollard is back for the second episode in our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” series to answer the question: What is rest?

Cate and Dr. Pollard talk about what true, restorative rest looks like (hint: it’s not just zoning out on your phone), and how to start taking small, doable steps toward rest when you’re already deep in burnout.

For more on this topic:

Timestamps: [2-4]

(00:00) Intro

(02:08) How do you realize that enough is enough and you need to rest?

(03:58) How do we know if the “rest” we’re taking is actually restorative?

(09:10) Feeling guilty or uncomfortable with resting

(15:18) How to decide what to pursue, and what to wait on

(20:14) The relationship between perfectionism, procrastination, and burnout

(23:41) Finding small moments to integrate rest, and other suggestions from Dr. Shauna

(29:07) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

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Breaking the burnout cycle: What is burnout? Sep 23, 2025

Show notes

Feeling drained, unmotivated, or stuck in survival mode? In part one of our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” series, host Cate Osborn and psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard unpack the question: What is burnout? They explore the signs to watch for, how to recognize when you’re in it, and how it’s different from depression.

If you’ve been wondering whether what you’re experiencing is burnout, this episode is a good place to start.

Related resources

ADHD burnout
ADHD and depression
Dr. Shauna’s website, https://drspllc.com/

Timestamps

(00:00) A word from Cate on burnout

(01:50) What is burnout? How is it different than depression?

(05:57) What happens when ADHD perfectionism and overcommitting meets burnout?

(08:06) How do we know that we’re starting to get burnout? How can we tell if it’s burnout or depression?

(12:11) How to recognize whether your battery is low or completely tapped out

(15:55) How to get to know ourselves and our bodies better to help us in the future

(22:57) Burnout spreading from work into the home

(26:39) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

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Cate answers your burning ADHD questions Sep 09, 2025

Show notes

It’s a solo mailbag episode! Host Cate Osborn grabs her trusty D20 to let fate decide which listener emails to answer.

Cate answers some common ADHD questions from navigating ADHD as a woman, to what it means to have a diagnosis, to how symptoms can shift as we age.

Related resources

Understood Explains podcast season 2: ADHD diagnosis in adults
ADHD and: Aging
Facebook group: ADHD Support for Women by Understood.org

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro
(00:27) The rules
(01:14) Why do previously stimulating activities become routine?
(02:48) What does an ADHD diagnosis provide?
(05:30) What are some tips for self kindness when dealing with problems we’ve created?
(09:56) How to not get too overloaded by a task
(14:52) Does ADHD become more calm as you get older? Are there future treatments other than medication being developed?
(21:38) A parting word from Cate
(23:04) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

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When ADHD, money, and relationships collide Aug 26, 2025

Show notes

What if your money problems weren’t just about willpower, but about who you are?

In this episode of Sorry, I Missed This, Cate chats with Ellyce Fulmore, financial educator and author of Keeping Finance Personal, about how who you are affects how you deal with money. We cover how things like ADHD, race, gender, and queerness all shape your money habits. Ellyce explains how to understand your own “money story” and why some advice doesn’t work for everyone. We also talk about what happens when someone with ADHD gets into a relationship and has to mix money with a partner.

Related resources

What is the ADHD tax?
Ellyce’s website, queerdco.com
Ellyce’s ADHD Aha! podcast episode: The pain of struggling with basic tasks — ADHD in the pandemic

Timestamps

(00:00) A word from Cate on ADHD and money

(02:44) The intersection of identity and finances

(07:57) Balancing treating yourself and impulse spending

(10:13) The word “should”

(14:09) Shame, guilt, and embarrassment about money

(17:50) The ADHD tax

(20:42) ADHD and finances in a relationship

(25:05) Ellyce’s advice for starting to think about your money story

(26:58) Outro and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit the “Sorry, I Missed This” show page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

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Throwback to a conversation on ADHD and social skills Aug 12, 2025

Show notes

Social skills can be challenging for people with ADHD. Whether it’s trouble with executive function, or anxiety from past situations, socializing can come with a lot of emotions. It can also be really confusing and bring up uncomfortable questions. Why does it seem so much easier for everyone else? Why can’t I hold on to friendships? What do I even like to do?

In this episode Host Cate Osborn chats with Caroline Maguire, MEd. Caroline is an ADHD coach, and author of the book Why Will No One Play With Me? Join Cate and Caroline as they talk about how ADHD affects social skills — and what we can do to help.

Related resources

Caroline’s website
Caroline’s book, Why Will No One Play With Me?
Caroline’s video, How to Stop People Pleasing With ADHD

For a transcript and more resources, visit the “Sorry, I Missed This” show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

So... How does that make you feel about your therapist? Jul 29, 2025

Show notes

Ever wondered if your therapist gets you, or if therapy is even working? You’re not alone. This week, Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer is back to unpack the complicated, sometimes confusing, always human relationship between therapist and client (especially when ADHD is in the mix).

Host Cate Osborn and Elizabeth dig into how different types of therapy work, how to tell if therapy is actually helping, and what kinds of conversations are and aren’t fair game in the therapy room. Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time or reevaluating a long-term fit, this conversation will help you trust your instincts and advocate for what you need.

Related resources