Solo Parent Life | Single Parent | Divorce | Single Mom

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09: What to Tell Your Children About Divorce with Drew Lamden, LCSW Nov 24, 2016

Show notes

Drew Lamden, LCSW, has been in private psychotherapy practice for so many years and works with families, adults, adolescents, children, Family Courts, and Family Attorneys. He is a Collaborative Law Coach and a Child Specialist.

He is Vice President of the Board of Directors of the Northern California Mediation Center, he is the Director of Schools Program, and provides clinical supervision for Community Institute for Psychotherapy. He also provides clinical supervision for Apple Family Center, and is Clinical Consultant to A Home Within. He has developed and conducted student and parent groups in the schools, and consults to attorneys, various schools, mental health training programs, clinics, crisis, and family court settings. He is also co-coordinator of the Marin Teen Mental Health Board. He is on the Clinical Faculty at Langley Porter, Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, UCSF.

Show Notes

What to tell and not to tell the kids , general guidelines in telling the children about divorce
The importance of protecting children from the harsh realities of divorce
The importance of postponing informing young children about adult issues
Waiting for children to grow more mature when giving them adult info
Children don’t do as well as adults too
Importance of having mindfulness over the children
Importance of good communication between the divorced parents about their children’s well-being
Importance of having a business-like relationship with the co-parent
Can parents tell all to their children
How much time is needed to tell all
How to deal with your children’s questions
Children need to feel that they are loved by both parents

Resources

alamden@alamdenlcsw.com

(415) 454-0736 phone

08: Tips for Coping with the Holidays as a Single Parent Nov 17, 2016

Show notes

In today’s episode, Dr. Robbin Rockett discusses the upcoming holiday season and how to move through this season successfully. This time of year can bring up many emotions - loneliness, loss and even jealousy. There’s no reason to face this time alone, so it’s time to get some resources and support for your holiday season.

Some aspects of the holiday season that we will discuss today are:

How to deal with your emotions
What happens when the holidays involves your ex-spouse
How to make your children have a normal holiday

In this show Dr. Rockett discusses:

At 4 years post divorce, how it still affects her
What are 3 things you cannot live without this holiday season
Ask the same question of your children and then figure out how to incorporate all of them into your holiday celebration
Get real about what feels meaningful to you and your children
Make giving back a part of your holiday season - it helps your heart and is a great example to your children
Help your children as they purchase a gift for the other parent
Are you co-parenting your children without conflict? Consider a joint celebration/event as long as it is a safe space for everyone
If you are still in a place of conflict, it’s not a good idea to spend time together at the holiday
If you are considering joint holiday events, discuss it with your ex first, not the kids
Stay thoughtful and mindful of all parties, while still reflecting your boundaries
Plan ahead to have a support system around you when emotions are overwhelming
Continuing to make time for adequate self-care is critical

You can create your own new normal for the holiday season. Make it about you and creating rituals and events that support you and make you feel good. Know that you are not alone and we are always here to support you!

07: Erotic Integrity and the Single Parent with Dr. Claudia Six Nov 10, 2016

Show notes

Today on the show Dr. Robbin Rockett has a very special guest. We’re talking about a topic every single parent will have to deal with at some point. We’re talking today about erotic integrity!

Dr. Claudia Six has several appellations to her name: Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology, MA in Counseling Psychology, A.C.S for American College of Sexologists certification, and ABS certification #2532 from the American Board of Sexology. She is also a member of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality and the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists. She was born and raised in France (no French accent at all) and came to the US at nineteen. Her practice includes divorce coaching, Marriage and couples sex therapy, Singles coaching, psychotherapy.

Show notes:

What does erotic integrity mean?
What is the rebound relationship?
Don’t misrepresent what you’re looking for
In her own words, she is: “…not bound by certain cultural constraints that Americans sometimes struggle with.”
One should explore all of what you are as a sexual being
Why humans are ambivalent = part of us wants change, and part of us wants to keep things the way they are.
Dr. Six believes her role is empowering you to make choices that support what you really want your life to be.
Learning from the relationship you’ve been in
People should embrace informed choices
Erotic Integrity, requires honesty, and the key component of honesty is communication.
It is not shameful to confess desire

Resources

Website: http://www.drsix.net/

Erotic Integrity book: https://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Integrity-True-Yourself-Sexually/dp/1631520792

06: Single Dad, Under Construction with Dave Taylor Nov 03, 2016

Show notes

Dave Taylor is a blogger and writer who focuses on being a single Dad. He and his ex-wife actually began a parenting blog together while they were still married, and he kept it up through his divorce and it has chronicled his struggles and adventures as a single Father.

Dave has the same struggles every parent has, and he tries to focus his blog on the positive and negative aspects of parenting, without using all of his “Daddy-baggage”. Dave has turned his blog into a supportive space for single Dads, and he has also found support through his writing.

Listen to the episode as Dave also discusses:

How Dave went about building a community
Dave’s “time off with good behavior”!
The role Dave’s friends (he has a lot of them!) have played in his single Fatherhood
How he had to learn to grow a thicker skin
Why it makes it harder when others to criticize parents for entertainment
Why men have a learning curve when it comes to nurturing the children
Society reinforces nurturing behavior with girls, but boys are made fun of for it
Seeking support with your parenting can also help boost your confidence
Dealing with emotions of having his oldest daughter go off to college
The metaphor of parenting and ship building
Mistakes that Dave and his ex-wife made as a couple
Getting to know your children and their interests is a great way to stay connected to your children regardless of their age

Connect with Dave:

www.gofatherhood.com

twitter.com/davetaylor

05: Connecting and Communicating with Teen Boys - Richard Platt, MA, LMFT Oct 27, 2016

Show notes

Stress levels can be high in the household of a single parent with a teenage son or daughter. In this episode, we will focus on how to connect and communicate with teenage boys. I have invited Richard Platt, MA, LMFT of Teen Solutions Therapy to discuss how parents of teen boys can build a stronger relationship. He and his wife jointly run Teen solutions, a teen mentoring group and parent coaching firm in Marin. They have successfully counseled hundreds of families by helping them understand their teens and offer guidance in how to connect with them.

In this episode you will learn about:

How to build a stronger relationship with your teens
Recognizing stress in your teenager
The 6 levels of connection with your children
Providing a balanced life for your teens
Guiding them to focus on their responsibilities
Preventing depression
Dealing with anxiety
How to earn your teen’s trust
When to seek support for your teenage son
5 tips for single parents with teen boys

Resources:

Richard & Lorraine: http://www.teensolutionstherapy.com

Solo Parent Life Website: http://www.soloparentlife.com

Subscribe to the Podcast: Itunes

Join the Facebook Group: Solo Parent Podcast Community

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/DrRockettSoloParentLife/

04: Providing Emotional Resolutions through Mediation with Attorney Turned Therapist Rebecca Picard Oct 20, 2016

Show notes

Children of divorced parents deal with the difficulties in navigating challenging circumstances that morph from their original family situations. Our guest, Rebecca Picard, J.D., L.L.M, and a new therapist, talks about the dilemma that children of divorced parents go through. She is a mediator attorney, a conflict resolution coach, a Collaborative Family Lawyer, and a lately a therapist. She has mediated hundreds of civil, divorce, employment, estate planning, victim-offender, and workplace cases. She has a lengthy experience in civil litigation and family law.

She has spoken locally and internationally about mediation and has done extensive training in psychology, communication and personal growth. She has also reviewed research on the development needs of children and the effects of divorce on children. She is also very much interested in new findings from neuroscience regarding emotions and decision-making. She is very passionate about helping people address relational conflict; she combines professional expertise with compassion and empathy in helping individuals. She can develop highly customized mediation agreements and emotional resolutions providing people with opportunities for growth. This is the primary reason she has recently shifted from legal practice to therapy practice.

What you will learn from Rebecca:

Other reasons she shifted work from mediator attorney to a therapist
Legal issues and emotional issues between parties are closely intertwined she works on the best balance
The overlapping issues between a mediator and therapist
How divorced parents can deal with co-parenting relationship
Mode of communication between parties can affect the results
Why email is the recommended mode of communication for couples who are in conflict resolution status
Family relations could become a “business relations”
A co-parent relationship is very different from the normal parenting role
Kids can handle 2 different “cultures” (things that are going on in the other house)
Kids don’t need to know everything about the separated parents
What is a “parentified” child?
How divorced parents can prevent developing a “parentified child”
Empathizing with the children of divorced parents

Resources:

Website: http://www.soloparentlife.com

Subscribe to the Podcast: Itunes

Join the Facebook Group:

03: Support Groups Are Essential with Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW Oct 14, 2016

Show notes

This week’s guest is a licensed therapist based in San Francisco Bay Area, Therapist Susan Gadoua, L.C.S.W. She counsels clients via phone or Skype all over the world. She is the author of Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go and Stronger Day by Day: Reflections for Healing and Rebuilding After Divorce. She has co-authored with journalist, Vicki Larson, the book The New I Do, Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels. Susan also authored an eBook entitled, The Top Ten Misguided Reasons to Stay in a Bad Marriage. She conducts workshops and retreats and is a sought-out speaker on marriage and divorce. She has appeared on television, radio and print, including The CBS Early Show and publications such as The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Huffington Post, Psychology Today, and Divorce Magazine.

What you will hear in this episode

How helpful it is for solo parents to join a community
What marginalization is
The change in life and social circle can cause isolation
The transfer of location can also cause isolation
How divorce can cause emotional distress
How a separation/divorce support group can differ from therapy
What a divorce parent struggles with
When to join a support group
Precautions in telling your pain and personal details to a social media group
Why your common friends may not be the right people to talk to
Confidentiality and personal security in joining support groups
Susan is not worried about people reaching out to her; but she worries about people who stay isolated and drown themselves in alcohol

Resource Center:

Website: http://www.soloparentlife.com

Subscribe to the Podcast: Itunes

Join the Facebook Group: Solo Parent Life Podcast Community

02: Four Helpful Tips for Single Parents Oct 14, 2016

Show notes

Dr. Robbin Rockett conducts a virtual therapy session and provides 4 ways to get help. Please share it with a friend.

What you will hear in this episode

Dr. Robbin Rockett’s own story on her single parenthood
How to transition from married life to solo parent
Transition period: The changes you may go through
How to help yourself: Be compassionate to yourself
Other people who can help
4 ways you can be helped:

1. Activity:

Think of the past and try to remember how you were feeling
Try to play the role of a compassionate friend
What would you say to your other self? Write down what you would say as a compassionate friend

Listen to the podcast for the complete instruction

2. Find a support group

3. Individual Therapist

4. Building a supportive community – engage in recreation, sports, and fun activities.

Resource Center:

Website: http://www.soloparentlife.com

Subscribe to the Podcast: Itunes

Join the Facebook Group: Solo Parent Podcast Community

01: How the Solo Parent Life Podcast Can Help the Single Parent Oct 12, 2016

Show notes

Here’s help for you, the single parent – the single mom, single dad, divorced parent, widowed parent, a single parent who isn’t married yet or a single parent by choice. Dr. Robbin Rockett, who has a Doctor of Psychology degree with a specialization in Clinical Psychology, is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice. She has over a decade of experience in helping children, adolescents, adults, and families. She is a single parent, too, and she knows the challenges that single parents deal with. She specializes in family systems approaches, anxiety and panic disorder, bereavement and grief, divorce, relationship problems and parenting issues. Her main purpose in creating the Solo Parent Podcast is to be able to form a community where single parents can find resources to help them cope with the challenges they face. She will invite authors, coaches, fellow counselors and therapists, divorce coaches, mediators, and clinical sexologists as resource persons.

What you will hear from the Solo Parent Life Podcast Episodes:

Join the community and be the best that you can be for yourself, your children, and others
Listen to stories and testimonies shared by the guest speakers
Arm yourself with the facts and tips
Other special challenges faced by fellow single parents
Avoiding strain on your paychecks
Adjustments to make for a widowed parent
Adjustments to make for a divorced parent
Handling emotional issues arising from loss or change
Dealing with single parent stress
Handling conflict with the other parent
Helping children cope
Other types of information, help, and resources

Resource Center:

Website: http://www.soloparentlife.com

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