So What Now? with Carla and Dex

Latest Episodes:

EP 149: Getting Rid of Shame & Finding My New Purpose May 17, 2022

Show notes

EP 148: Love Bombing and Co-Parenting with a Narcissist May 03, 2022

Show notes

We have Mac "The Therapist" back for another week to continue to talk about Narcissism. This episode delves deeper in the conversation of how this affects the one on the receiving end. We talked about love- bombing and how its an end to their means. We had moments where realizations were made and gave a different perspective. I learned that I came to terms with the fact that although this person put me through the wildest emotional rollercoaster, I lived through that, there were moments that were good, along with the dark side.

What Else You Will Hear:

A narcissist will always have a supply ready before they leave you or you leave them.
Enabling a narcissist, how does that look like
Love-bombing, what is it? How long does it last?
How long does it take to develop a relationship?
How you become an asset to boost their ego and status
Are they capable of love?
Couples therapy
Setting boundaries
Thriving in chaos
Women wanting a ring
Co-parenting with a narcissist

Quote/ Bible verse for this week:

Proverbs 9:8- So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you.

Thank you to our sponsors:

Better Help

www.Betterhelp.com/PWP save 10% off your first month

GET THE TEA

www.Getthetea.com/pivot for $$ off your first purchase

Whos Wax gummies

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I love reading reviews so please leave me a review on whatever platform you listen to the podcast on

Send your questions and advice letters to: askcarlawilmaris@gmail.com

EP 148: Love Bombing and Co-Parenting with a Narcissist May 03, 2022

Show notes

What Else You Will Hear:

A narcissist will always have a supply ready before they leave you or you leave them.
Enabling a narcissist, how does that look like
Love-bombing, what is it? How long does it last?
How long does it take to develop a relationship?
How you become an asset to boost their ego and status
Are they capable of love?
Couples therapy
Setting boundaries
Thriving in chaos
Women wanting a ring
Co-parenting with a narcissist

Quote/ Bible verse for this week:

Proverbs 9:8- So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you.

Thank you to our sponsors:

Better Help

www.Betterhelp.com/PWP save 10% off your first month

GET THE TEA

www.Getthetea.com/pivot for $$ off your first purchase

Whos Wax gummies

www.Whoswax.com- 1 for $15 or 10 for $100

I love reading reviews so please leave me a review on whatever platform you listen to the podcast on

Send your questions and advice letters to: askcarlawilmaris@gmail.com

EP 147: Signs You're Dating/Dealing With a Narcissist Apr 26, 2022

Show notes

This week Carla Wilmaris is back with recurring guest, Paola and a special guest, Mac "The Therapist". We get deep this week, so grab some wine, a notebook, some tissues, whatever you need because we are going right into it. We are talking about Narcissism. We started the conversation with statistics and how 1 in every 16 Americans has been affected by someone with NPD, then broke down the differences between traits and the disorder. We went down the rabbit hole, and all I can say is buckle up, this is part one to a very necessary conversation we needed to have.

What You'll Hear:

What is Narcissism? Or Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD).
How the rise of social media is feeding into the pandemic of narcissism
A narcissistic individual is the opposite of authenticity, they are not able to see what they do to other people
80% of males show narcissistic traits
Is it genetic or caused by upbringing?
Nature vs. nurture
Empathy is the ability to feel for others, narcissist can rationalize empathy- from the mouth out
We now found a language for the term; people have been abused for years and now we have the words for it all
The social media boom is breeding narcissistic tendencies
The difference between traits and the disorder
Plus, much more…

Quote/ Bible verse for this week:

Isaiah 61:1- "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because God has anointed me to bring good news to the poor… to bind up the brokenhearted.

Connect with Our Guest

Link to website: https://www.therapyisforeveryone.org/

Link to Relationship Card Deck: https://www.therapyisforeveryone.org/love-unlocked

Therapy is For Everyone,

Mac Stanley Cazeau, LMHC

Website: www.Therapyisforeveryone.org

Email: Talk2Mac1on1@gmail.com

IG: @Talk2Mac_Therapist

Thank you to our Sponsors:

Sponsored by www.Betterhelp.com/PWP save 10% off your first month

www.Getthetea.com/pivot for $$ OFF your first purchase

www.Journeyorl.com

Get 20% OFF Whos Wax gummies at www.Whoswax.com use code PIVOT

Send your questions to: askcarlawilmaris@gmail.com

EP 146: Self Love, Expectations, & Dating Again Apr 20, 2022

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We're back! We started this episode with reading some questions that were submitted by our amazing listeners. The questions were amazing and set the tone for this episode to start talking about how life is scary, but its ok to lean into asking for help. We touched on how men are now somewhat intimidated of women, they are dominating in a lot of different areas of the money-making industry. I also spoke on how God has been orchestrating the last 3 month of my life and letting him take control because he knows what is best for me. Finally, we delve into the topic for this week, practicing self-care and love.

What You'll Hear:

Hold on to your expectations, and do not lower them for no one.
You cannot force anyone to do anything, even if its to make them better
Therapy is meant to help you not hurt you
God-sent friends
Practicing self-care and love, we touch on the amazing spa days
Journaling
Wanting peace, and unlearning how you thrive in chaos
Men saying a soft man (Russell Wilson) is square and unpopular
Grieving the loss of the idea I thought I had in a relationship
Feeling like having more purpose as a woman
What commitment looked like 50 years ago, old fashion and traditional
I am a partner not a maid

Quote/ Bible verse for this week:

Psalm 46:5- God is within her she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

Thank you to our sponsors:

Sponsored by Betterhelp.com/PWP save 10% off your first month
Getthetea.com/pivot for 1 pack of tea for $27
Journeyorl.com
Whos Wax gummies at Whoswax.com- 1 for $15 or 10 for $100

Dont forget to rate and Review!

Send your questions to: askcarlawilmaris@gmail.com

EP 145: Turning 35, Single Mom of 2, and Broken Apr 13, 2022

Show notes

Today we have KBJ Energy!

Congratulations to Ketanji Brown Jackson on being appointed to the Supreme court.

This week's episode we start off with my reservations of turning 35 this year. I realize that I am grieving the thought of where I thought I was going to be, and what didn't happen or will happen based on changes that have happened in the past almost 2 months. Then dive into this week's episode, elevating past people's trauma. I am now all about BOUNDARIES, at 34 almost 35 I need PEACE.

What you will hear this week:
Turning 35 this year
Grieving loss of what was and where I am now
The different people around us that are dealing with trauma
Setting boundaries for yourself, and taking care of yourself first
Friendships that respect boundaries
People who thrive in chaos and negativity
Loving people from afar
Therapy helped me understand I wasn't the problem
The changing relationship with my mother now with limitations
You need to work on your emotional intelligence

Bible verse for this week:

1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Send your questions/advice letters to askcarlawilmaris@gmail.com

Listen to EP 59 An Open Letter to My Mother

Thank you to our Sponsors:

GET THE TEA:

www.Getthetea.com/pivot for 1 pack of tea for $27

BETTER HELP:

Get 10% OFF your first month of therapy at www.betterhelp.com/pwp

WHO'S WAX GUMMIES:

Get 20% OFF by using code PIVOT

Don't forget to leave a review on the Apple podcast so I can read your message on the pod! THANK YOU :)

Connect with us on social media:

@carlawilmaris

@justpales

@pivotwithpurposepod

EP 144: I Shouldn't Be Depressed! Apr 06, 2022

Show notes

I'm back like I never left! And I have my amazing friend, Paola back for another episode.

This week I want to talk about my journey. You have all been with me from corporate, to leaving and starting Shit I'm 30! to saying I didn't want anymore kids, to getting into a new relationship and being in love, to not now a newly single mom and entrepreneur.

As women we are very judgmental of ourselves and I'm starting to paint a new canvas, reinventing myself as a woman, a mom, and entrepreneur. I'm learning it's time to put myself first, the future holds happiness for me.

The saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. -Robin Williams

What You'll Hear:

Painting a new canvas
Why are women so judgmental and hard on themselves
Therapy is a non-negotiable for me right now
The different points of view of how we express love
I learned about my feelings, and now I'm an empath and I feel everything
Learning to admit when you need help
Being a parent in 2022, and doing what's best for you and your child
Communication and interpretation are two completely different things, and compromise is huge
Feeling empty, sad, and depressed
You cannot love someone to change, love is not enough
Heartbreak after giving it everything

Quotes of the week:

The text disappears under interpretation- If someone says something to you and you interpret it a different way, what I was trying to tell you doesn't matter anymore.

Thank you to Our Sponsors:

Sponsored by www.Betterhelp.com/PWP save 10% off your first month

www.Journeyorl.com

Whos Wax gummies at www.Whoswax.com

use code PIVOT for 20% OFF

Send your questions to: askcarlawilmaris@gmail.com

EP 143: Carla Has A Podcast Bro! Apr 01, 2022

Show notes

I'M BACK! With a new purpose, a new sound, a new pivot. I am finding my purpose as a single mother of 2 and I know I have been gone for a while, but I'm back with a new voice, Paola who you will get to know in this new season of pivot. She is sitting here with me, and I know I met her at just the right time. Recently some things have been circulating on the internet, I asked for privacy but if we are going to talk about it, let say the TRUTH. What You'll Hear:

• What is tradition/ traditional marriage or relationship. • The healing I have been doing, sitting with my emotions, and discussing the different emotions we forget to name and feel when they are happening. • Things I did or do to make myself feel good vs. dealing with the emotions themselves. • Feeling emotions and observing them whether they are good, bad, or ugly. • Not everything deserves a reaction, I have gained control of my emotions/ reactions. • Learning to focus on the big picture. • Our therapy journey, and how religion fits into that. • How has my personal relationship with God has been my strength throughout this journey.

Three things that I learned from an article:

1. Sit with your emotions by noting what you are experiencing without judging. 2. Validate your emotions, accept them. 3. Focus on the present instead of wallowing in the experience or situation that triggered your feelings.

• Sponsored by Betterhelp.com/WSS save 10% off your first month • Journeyorl.com • Whos Wax gummies at Whoswax.com • Send your questions to: askcarlawilmaris@gmail.com

EP 142: The Highs & Lows of Mom's in Business Including the Dark Side of Wanting to End it ALL Feb 07, 2022

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EP 141: Finding Purpose After a Loss Jan 27, 2022

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